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Intergalactic Nip Slip! I Keep Thinking Tim Riggins Is Wearing Fancy Space Overalls

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (23)



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I missed being able to link at you yesterday, sweet readers, and am shocked and appalled that Dustin would lie to you about the cause. He shouldn’t have blamed it on the a-a-alcohol when it was obviously all that meth I ate. Speaking of Meth Eaters, the lovely Patty O’Green sent me this “Breaking Bad” bingo card. (Pleated Jeans)

Oh my loves, my darlings, I hunger for a lot of things but not a musical version of Ghost. I could have gone my whole life without that. My only hope was they would go full-on Beauty and The Beast with this mofo and have the clay pots come to life and do a sexy, sorta slimey dance while the bland Demi/Swayze counterparts get it on. These photos tell a different story. (The Guardian)

I would, however, watch a musical centered around the song-stylings of “Parks and Recreation” lothario Duke Silver (with special guest Mouse Rat). Speaking of “Parks and Rec,” how cute are these Trader Joe’s signs? I would be inclined to buy ALL of the bacon they have. (High Definite)

This is going to be awkward, but, speaking of pork products, the lovely Emma Watson reportedly met the actor who plays her in the gay porn version of Harry Potter…and she was completely adorable about it. (Film Drunk)

This is going to be even more awkward, but did you know that there’s a Harry Potter called, I kid you not, “LeakyCon”?! I know, I know, it’s named for the Leaky Cauldron but…that just sounds foul. Am I being too depraved? Here are some photos of the Con which looks just about as dorky as you might expect. But…LEAKYCON?! (Moviefone)

One final Harry Potter-themed link. It’s Stephen King’s take on “Harry Potter” vs. “Twilight,” and it’s priceless. (Bits Of Wisdom)

Speaking of boyfriends (that only makes sense if you clicked on the previous link…click it, I say!), the lovely folks over at GOOD have started a series where they compare pop culture of old (TEN TWENTY WHOLE YEARS AGO) to pop culture of the now. This article compares the lank-haired, moody teen Jordan Catalano (“My So-Called Locker Lean”) to the lank-haired, moody teen Tim Riggins (“Friday Night Miller Lites”). No contest…TEAM RIGGINS, TEXAS FOREVER. I’m so into Riggins, I’m going to go see that John Carter movie despite the space overalls and silly premise. (GOOD)

Okay, listen, some woman grew a nipple on her foot. A legitimate nipple. This link is, in my mind, completely gross, but I know some of you might find it intriguing. Quentin Tarantino reads this column, right? (Gizmodo)

Speaking of gross, this whole News of the World scandal has gone from crazy to grotesque to…what…circus-themed? First a whistle blower is found dead and the death is called unsuspicious?! (Guardian) And then someone throws a PIE AT RUPERT MURDOCH!?! What is going on here!? (Warming Glow)

We all know a pie is too good for Murdoch and I suggest we fire up the murder tank. Thankfully, there’s one for sale in New Jersey. In the words of mrcreosote, “Install a bar and babypults and you’re ready to roll.” (Jalopnik)

Finally, my gorgeous gawkers, I leave you with two photo blogs that I’ve just now fallen in love with. The first one is images of folks driving their cars. Sounds boring but it’s kind of interesting. I once saw a chap shaving his head while driving. That couldn’t wait, buddy? I don’t know if the photo of the guy a reading a book while driving is staged…I hope not. (Brain Pickings) And, secondly here is a collection of food stuffs shot at a microscopic level. What is that white thing in the chocolate cake? LEEEAAAAAKKKKYYYY COOOOOOOONNNNN! (Caren Alpert)

DeviantART (usually host to emo folk and nerdlingers) has a great video series called “Quit Your Job.” There are three videos but I’ve chosen to show you the panda one. The actor they hired to play the nightmare boss is perfection. You can see the rest of the videos on the website. (DeviantART)

And, lastly, we have an interesting video that you have to watch twice (but you can watch it on mute, so that’s nice). The first time through, don’t take your eyes off the cross in the center and the second time look directly at the faces on either side of the screen. Most of you will notice that the women you thought were deformed are actually completely normal (for the most part) looking. Researchers at the University of Queensland in Australia are calling this the “flashed face effect.” Your brain focuses in on the differences in each juxtaposition, augmenting that difference to grotesque proportions. It’s sort of fascinating the tricks our eyes and minds will play.

Joanna Robinson is contemplating making that Shatner-esque LEEEAAAKYYY COOOON shout her go-to when she accidentally stumbles into certain mucky quagmires of the internet.









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Comments

NO GHOSTING!

Posted by: jM at July 20, 2011 1:07 PM

Oooooh, sexy lederhosen.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at July 20, 2011 1:07 PM

Prince of Persia...clean-shaven.

Posted by: haplo at July 20, 2011 1:20 PM

No-one will ever convince me that the pie thrower was not a set-up from the Murdoch camp to distract everyone. And it worked. It's all anyone is talking about today and of course now we have the inevitable poll finding that people feel sorry for the old man that such a thing would have happened to him.
Well played, Rupert, you bastard. Well-played.

Posted by: PaddyDog at July 20, 2011 1:21 PM

But…LEAKYCON?!

AzCon? MuggleCon? WonWonCon for the Weasliacs?

Posted by: branded at July 20, 2011 1:25 PM

Rupert doesn't feel sorry for anyone else, so I don't know why anyone should feel sorry for him now, regardless of the amount of pie in his face.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at July 20, 2011 1:26 PM

Now see the pie is not the story. The story is what happened to the pie guy, namely Mrs Murdoch. She is one badass mofo!

Posted by: Joker at July 20, 2011 1:46 PM

fire up the murder tank. Thankfully, there’s one for sale in New Jersey

*please let it be close to me, please let it be close to me*

Posted by: Anna von Beav at July 20, 2011 1:50 PM

Questioning the Ghost musical written by half of The Eurythmics that opened to rave reviews in Manchester without hearing a note of the score? You can stream the cast recording on their Facebook page. At least be an informed hater.

Posted by: Robert at July 20, 2011 1:54 PM

MAGGOTS!! Coming out of her EYES!!

I CAN'T be the only one who saw that in the video.

Posted by: AmbroseKalifornia at July 20, 2011 1:55 PM

Thank you, Robert. Either I'll change my mind or I'll have more specific fodder for my hate cannon.

Posted by: Joanna Robinson at July 20, 2011 1:56 PM

My fifteen year old self would have said Jordan Catalano.

But now? My twenty-two year old self knows better--TIM FUCKIN RIGGINS.

TEXAS FOREVER.

I've been holding off on watching my last four episodes of season five for as long as I can...*sniff*

Posted by: grace b at July 20, 2011 1:57 PM

That Jordan Catalano/Tim Riggins article is excellent.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at July 20, 2011 1:58 PM

It should not have been a pie. What it should have been I leave as an exercise for the student.

I always thought "lothario" was spelled with a capital L.

Why is it we don't see God-bothering bluenoses getting the vapors over male nippleage? Women! Fight the double standard and let those breastseses out to breathe!

Posted by: The Wanderer at July 20, 2011 2:00 PM

Am I being too depraved?

Yes. I've tried to find some gross connotation, but I guess "leaky" itself just isn't good for you.

Posted by: Jay at July 20, 2011 3:15 PM

How is the header picture not Ethan Hawke?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at July 20, 2011 4:27 PM

Because Joanna doesn't hate us all?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at July 20, 2011 4:44 PM

Re the Bits of Wisdom link. The quote is attributed to someone else
actually. What's pretty damn funny though are the Comments there.
Especially from someone named Elouise and another from a Sami Kay.
Goes to show... those little kiddies are stalking the Interwebs, ready
to pounce. Texter-speakins and all!

Posted by: Ms MoMo at July 20, 2011 5:18 PM

Eeew. Footnipple is gross, but it will NEVER top Baby Brain Foot. Remember that thing? Brrr.

Also: I love Stephen King.

Posted by: Figgy at July 20, 2011 5:30 PM

I heard that the pie thrower is his wife....where did I hear that? I think on Mike & Mike but Greeny is occasionally a liar...might have been on The Daily Show though.

Posted by: JenVegas at July 20, 2011 7:01 PM

i still say twwilight's better then harry potter.
just think youcould have whole police forces, security guards, secret agents and supersoldiers who are vampires or werewolves who are immune to bullets no terrorist or criminal would dare mess with us if that were possible we could feed them on criminals like casey anthony

Posted by: Utah Dynamo at July 20, 2011 7:28 PM

Well played, whoever invented the fake person Utah Dynamo and pranked the Pajiba readership. Well played indeed.

Posted by: superasente at July 20, 2011 8:23 PM

I don't think Greeny is as much a liar as he is very gullible and vulnerable to rumors.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at July 21, 2011 9:55 AM