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In Which Tom Hardy Flexes Muscles You've Never Even Heard Of

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (32)



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Though it wasn’t something I ever watched, I know many of you were/are fans of the salacious fightfest “Spartacus: Blood and Sand.” The lead actor, Andy Whitfield, lost his battle with cancer over the weekend. RIP. (News)

Speaking of fightfests, did you see Warrior over the weekend, moppets? It’s really good and not just because of all the gratuitous Man Flesh. The folks over at Moviefone have a list of actors who have made impressive fitness transformations for film. Christian Bale is obviously the freakish king, but good g*ddamn, are those rib muscles on Hardy? (Moviefone)
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But as you well know, an extreme fitness makeover is not required for an actor to disappear into a role. I wrote a while back about my favorite cinematic chameleon, Andy Serkis, only to be met with cries of “WHAT ABOUT PETER SELLERS?” Well, fine, here, the many faces of Peter Sellers. (I Love Charts)

Do you know WHY you don’t look like Tom Hardy (or even Peter Sellers), America? This, this is why. Taco Bell introduces their new Nacho Cheese Dorito Taco Shell. (Slashfood)

Is this what our future holds? Dorito tacos? The movies taught me to expect something much swankier. Here’s a nifty timeline of future inventions according to films. Also? I just found out this very instant that Highlander II is about aliens. I am now completely comfortable in my decision to never watch Highlander II. (visual.ly)

Speaking of Highlander, head over to io9 and vote for the greatest use of pop music in Sci-Fi/Fantasy. I know I should vote for “All Along The Watchtower” or something, but there can be only one, and it’s gotta be Queen. (io9)

This Pajiba Love feels very martial artistic. Check out this fantastic mock “Full House” video game. Go Kimmy Gibbler, go. (Uproxx)

If that had existed in my youth, I would have spent ALL my quarters on it. Speaking of coins, we’ve got two currency related links. First of all, a link I almost posted last week of an artistic practice called Skull Nickels. I want one. Also, apparently in the UK, it’s considered good luck to hammer coinage into a tree. Check out these phenomenal images. (This Is Colossal)

Dear Numismatists who read Pajiba Love. That was for you. Don’t say I never gave you anything. For those of you who love bunnies with their hoppy legs and twitchy little noses, here’s a big one. Huge. Disturbing, no? (David Thompson)

Over the weekend, amidst all the 9/11 reflections and tributes, some asshats hacked NBC’s Twitter account and posted false messages about a terror attack. That? That is disgusting. Apparently NBC social media director Ryan Osborn clicked on an attachment in an unknown email which made the Twitter account vulnerable. Um, even I know not to do that. I think NBC social media director Ryan Osborn should start looking for a new job. (Mashable)

The following video clip is approximately three minutes too long, but you ought to watch at least a bit of it. Ladies, do your breasts make a noise when you hoist them together? Mine don’t. Should I be concerned?

Finally, my darjeelings, because it was a rough weekend for many and because I love you, here is laughter, pure and simple. Enjoy.

LAUGHS! from Everynone on Vimeo.

Joanna Robinson would gladly volunteer to hoist Tom Hardy’s breasts together to see if they make a comical noise. You know, for science.









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Comments

Today at work, I was walking behind three of the biggest 'toughest' lads at the whole school. Each of them is a foot taller than me and their reputation goes back to primary school.
One of them whispered something to the other two that made the three of them fall to the ground in hysterics. One was hugging the wall, the other was on the floor in a heap, the kid in the middle was just standing and howling with laughter. It was the end of the day so every kid in school was around us, and everyone just fell about laughing. Weird, hysterical, kind of awesome moment.

I still totally have a lamoid cold though. But chips and cold medicine are incoming.

Posted by: Nadine at September 12, 2011 1:16 PM

I believe that "serratus anterior" is the term you are looking for Joanna. I prefer Edgerton of the two from Warrior. He looks all manly'n'stuff in a way that does not seem to have resulted from quite so many hours flexing and hefting and watching oneself flexing and hefting in a large mirror, or comparable shiny surface.

Is anyone else so bored at work that it is filling them with a surprisingly robust ennui-fueled rage?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at September 12, 2011 1:19 PM

You know some of us are old enough to have seen "Night of the Lepus" as children and therefore harbor an incurable fear of over-sized rabbits.
Please post some kind of "pop a Xanax" alert before casually linking to those kinds of pictures.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 12, 2011 1:35 PM

I am now completely comfortable in my decision to never watch Highlander II.

There was no such thing. They just made a mistake on the second one by naming it three and they stopped giving them numbers after that. I SAID IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!

Posted by: Paultera at September 12, 2011 1:39 PM

It reminded me of the "huge, monstrously, hideously soft and loveable rabbit" that has sworn vengeance against Arthur Dent in The Hitchhiker's Guide. Or maybe The Velveteen Rabbit being dropped in the bag of items to be burned after his beloved boy recovers from scarlet fever. I'm not helping, am I?

Let me try again PaddyDog: Little Julien loves running through the house yelling, "CHARGE!" I spend the whole time saying, "Oh, Mortimer" in my best aunt voice.

HAVE I MENTIONED THE SOUL CRUSHING BOREDOM?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at September 12, 2011 1:42 PM

That io9 list is fun to browse, but talk about way too many nominees and a big case of comparing apples, oranges, strawberries, and chickens. Some of the songs were popular before they were featured on the show or movie, some of them are only popular because of the show or movie, and some of them were written for the show or movie. Plus, some of the items on that list have a tenuous at best claim to "sci-fi/fantasy" when compared to the others.

The giant bunny is fantastic.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at September 12, 2011 1:45 PM

Saw Highlander II opening night with some friends. Our only recourse was to immediately go out and get so drunk we could convince ourselves the next day it had all been a bad dream.

Posted by: Pete at September 12, 2011 1:46 PM

Yes, Mrs. Julien, I totally feel that way.

Posted by: KatSings at September 12, 2011 1:51 PM

The worst is when soul-crushing boredom directly collides with desperate need to meet a work deadline.....And then someone goes and posts a picture of an enormous rabbit just before it heads off on a nuclear accident-fueled rampage trampling your town and snatching you up into its giant jaws of rabbit death.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 12, 2011 2:06 PM

Got the sads about Andy Whitfield. He was so talented in that Spartacus role. It's sad to see a bright light go out too soon. Too soon for me, anyways.

Posted by: ChickaBoom! at September 12, 2011 2:10 PM

I dunno, I thought the rabbit was kind of cute.

And I more typically experience the soul-crushing boredom colliding with some urgent deadline...

Posted by: MM at September 12, 2011 2:17 PM

I'd put Bobby De Niro's workouts for the movie "Raging Bull" up against any of these young pretty boys.

Posted by: Pookie at September 12, 2011 2:22 PM

Is nobody else disturbed that the giant rabbit is in the pile-driver position?

And RIP Andy Whitfield.

Posted by: Groundloop at September 12, 2011 2:23 PM

I wonder how many of these guys are using steroids? It's very difficult to get the muscular definition they sport without some kind of chemical enhancement. I strongly suspect some of Bale's famous rage episodes may be related to the constant yo-yo-ing he does weight- and bulk-wise for roles. Coincidence that some of his most public rage-filled rants were when he was bulking up for the Bat Man role? I think not.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 12, 2011 2:26 PM

I was disappointed by the rabbit. I thought it was going to be a giant live real rabbit.

Also, anybody else getting ads on top of ads today on Pajiba? They take forever to load and I can't click them off fast enough.

I never saw Spartacus, but the saddest thing to me about that story is that as an actor he had finally made it, and could have a good easy life with his family...and it ended all too quickly.

Posted by: Sara Tonin at September 12, 2011 2:46 PM

That video was exactly the right length. In fact, it could have been much, much longer. Or they could produce a series of videos with each model describing, slowly, how the Boob Wench changed her life. They should start with the woman wearing glasses.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at September 12, 2011 2:50 PM

Everyone knows that Taco Bell will win the franchise wars (as it was fortold)...so Dorito Tacos ARE in our future.

Posted by: Jake at September 12, 2011 2:56 PM

Jake, I'll be in the sewer, eating ratburger.

Posted by: Reba at September 12, 2011 3:07 PM

So many excellent pop music in sci-fi choices on that i09 list. How can I pick just one?

I'm kinda surprised that they chose "All These Things That I've Done" for Jericho. Every time I hear that song, I picture Justin Timberlake lipsyncing it in that bizarre "Southland Tales" movie.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at September 12, 2011 3:15 PM

I won't lie, I actually genuinely want the Boob Clamp thing

Posted by: Laurie at September 12, 2011 3:22 PM

Agreed about those evil hackers! How dare they exploit a news organization's inability to utilize proper common sense in regards to the internet while said news organization is busy whoring a ten year old tragedy.

Posted by: Diablo at September 12, 2011 4:22 PM

Agreed about those evil hackers! How dare they exploit a news organization's inability to utilize proper common sense in regards to the internet while said news organization is busy whoring a ten year old tragedy.

So... making innocent people panic and fear for their lives and those of their loved ones is thereby justified? Because the news corporation behaved boorishly and classlessly and because they have a shitty firewall? That somehow makes it OK?

Huh.

Posted by: Ghisent at September 12, 2011 4:45 PM

It's just Asian chicks' boobs that make that noise. That's why guys love the Asian chicks. They're like video games with boobs.

And I could watch babies laughing all day long. Adorable.

The unsettling thing about the giant bunny is that it looks like it's in the middle of a gynecological exam.

Posted by: Slash at September 12, 2011 5:41 PM

Fuck cancer with Jupiter's cock. RIP Andy Whitfield.

Posted by: Aislinn at September 12, 2011 6:35 PM

They really should have included Linda Hamilton for T2... when they first showed her in the loony bin, I remember muttering "holy shit!"

Posted by: snapnhiss at September 12, 2011 7:02 PM

I have only ever seen Highlander 2 once, on TBS/TNT/USA as a wee lad. And other than the scene where Ramirez is resurrected and onstage during Hamlet, there was nothing worth remembering. And I always try to forget about the whole them being aliens thing. I said something about how disappointing it was, and someone said I had probably not seen the correct one. I have no idea what the difference is between "The Renegade Version" and "The Lame I'm Only Named Highlander II Version." But I have never been interested enough to find out.

Posted by: protoformX at September 12, 2011 7:29 PM

Taco Bell introduces their new Nacho Cheese Dorito Taco Shell.

I knew I should've started a "This is why you have a myocardial infarction" Tumblr.

Posted by: branded at September 12, 2011 8:52 PM

Holy GOD I want the Chinese boob smoosher. I bought a corset in Singapore this year, and let me tell you, when I came out of the dressing room there were STARES from the tiny young ladies in the shop. Lucky for me the corsets came in Small Medium and Ang Moh. (look it up)
Needless to say Boobquake was a good day for me on Pajibook this year.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 13, 2011 3:01 AM

protoformX, the Renegade Version is rather different. The whole aliens thing is cut out completely, and it makes a good bit more sense.

However, it's still fucking stupid.

Posted by: TK at September 13, 2011 9:37 AM

What the hell is with the sound effects in that boobie commercial? It sounds like someone is winning at Wii tennis just off-screen.

Posted by: Markus at September 13, 2011 10:50 AM

@PaddyDog
My best friend is an amateur body builder. He tells me when he is going on roids (just as conversation, really). But the interesting thing is that different roids do different things, so he'll say "oh i'm going to get really big this summer because i'm going on X, or i'm looking for more definition so i'm going on Y". Same basic workout routine, different roid, different result.
I say this because he told me he was dropping 25-30 lbs and going to look the most ripped he ever had. He went on whatever steroid he went on in May, and in July he looked exactly like that picture. I guess it's possible that you can do that with only exercise, but I really, really doubt it.
In a related note, Brad Pitt had a physique to emulate forever in Fight Club and Snatch, didn't seem to lose any muscle tone into his forties, and now in trailers for Moneyball he looks positively f^%king simian. Go figure.

Posted by: negative 1 at September 14, 2011 10:37 PM

Is there a link to that Chinese boobie thing commercial? It screams out to be shared...

Posted by: Nick at September 15, 2011 7:37 AM