In Which Tim Burton Continues His One Man Crusade Against Johnny Depp's Hotness
Speaking of the Dark Side, scroll through this gallery of real life Sith Lord Vladimir Putin if you want to know what it means to be a real man. Real men whisper to horses, didn't you know? (The Atlantic)
Hey ladies, just a heads up, if your husband doesn't whisper to horses. . .he might be gay. OKAY THAT'S A LIE, but no less preposterous than some of the other "indications" on this list Captain Tuttle sent me. Oh and if your husband IS gay, watch out, you and your children are in danger. Obviously. (Christwire)
But if your husband gasped at a shirtless Chris Hemsworth in Thor well, then, he's obviously just human. In this article about feminism and Thor, the author makes some excellent points but, when she writes, "Consider Jane, the physicist who, er, "stumbles" across Thor in the first scene and becomes his major love interest. Already, this is a departure from mainstream portrayals of women: she is a physicist, a profession that is socially-coded male" all I could think of was Dr. Christmas Jones. And when she compliments Sif's sensible armor, the author neglects to mention that Sif inexplicably wore high heels TO BATTLE ON AN ICE PLANET. But, no, seriously, there are some good points here. (Social Justice League)
So, Thor, a juggernaut blockbuster with the muscle of the studio behind it, opened on 3,955 screens. But as Dustin pointed out this weekend, Creature, a film NO ONE had heard of opened on 1,500 screens. That's significantly less than Thor, sure, but also entirely too many for a completely unmarketed film. Gabriel over at Code and Culture has a fantastic piece on what this kind of huwhatthef*ckery could mean for the film industry. (Code and Culture)
In greater huwhatthef*ckery, protoguy sent me this blurry image of Johnny Depp in Tim Burton's Dark Shawdows remake. He. Is. Wearing. The. Clown. Make. Up. Again. WHHYYYYY? (dlisted)
That photo made me screech, but these fearsome cakes just made me giggle. Replica sent them my way with an adorable Portal joke. I'll let you guess what it was. (Hi*Fructose)
All joking aside, CBS is thinking of making a modernized Sherlock series. Yup, because The Ritchie franchise, the Moffat series and "House" just aren't enough. My guess? Sherlock will be a hip American played by Jennifer Garner. (Bleeding Cool)
In other short story news, (cause Holmes was mostly presented in short story form, ya dig?), several British authors have hatched a Twitter scheme to convince the BBC not to cut their short story programming. (The Guardian)
And while that's some literary heroics right there, this video sent over by BierceAmbrose, is the real deal. A group of bystanders work together to lift a burning wreck and pull a man to safety. Unbelievable and a little hard to watch. (YouTube)
It was also hard for me to watch this just released video of Amy Winehouse and Tony Bennett singing Body and Soul. The recording is polished, but the footage is clipped together from their studio time. (NYMag)
The only way I could love this story more is if Clint Eastwood had delivered this pro-gay marriage polemic on his front porch, cocked rifle in hand. Oh yeah, that's right. PRO-gay marriage. (Raw Story)
I kinda want to gay marry the girl in this video. It's a very serious* PSA on cautious driving. Be safe out there!
*Ha! FOOOOLED YOU.
Now let's end today's love with a video to warm your little thumping hearts. Two older folks trying to figure out their webcam. I'm not including this in a "hey old people can't understand technology. . .lulz" sense. I'm including it because this is how I want my marriage to be. Who is this guy? I love him.
If Joanna Robinson ever uses "lulz" without any irony, Clint Eastwood has permission to shoot her.
Get entertainment, celebrity and politics updates via Facebook or Twitter. Buy Pajiba merch at the Pajiba Store.