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The First Official Photos From The Great Gatsby Photoshopped Ten Pounds Of Bloat Off DiCaprio's Face

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (9)



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After a whole slew of blurry set photos, we finally have the first images from Baz Luhrmann’s The Great Gatsby. I know I should be dreading this thing, but I’m not. I’m really oddly optimistic. All we can tell from these photos is that Carey Mulligan’s Daisy is properly festooned, they sapped all the sexy out of Joel Edgerton with that mustache and, somehow, DiCaprio’s eye bags have disappeared. (Sassisam)

One way to avoid the bloat, I guess, is to stop eating cookie dough. Oh, also, the NYT wants you to know it will make you violently ill. In the words of my friend Kate, “You’re not the boss of my, NYT.” (NYT)

Speaking of petulant behavior, have you ever seen Charles Grodin (oh yes, of Midnight Run Beethoven fame) on a late night talk show? The man has attitude. It’s delightful. Splitsider presents his greatest hits. (Splitsider)

Personally, I’m not in any hurry to see the prologue from the new Batman film. However, this interview with Nolan is great and I was able so skim any spoilery bits. On Tom Hardy as Bane: “We wanted to do something very different in this film. He’s a primarily physical villain, he’s a classic movie monster in a way — but with a terrific brain. I think he’s a fascinating character. I think people are going to get a kick out of what we’ve done with him.” (LA Times)

Speaking of movie monsters, check out one of my favorites, Hellboy, sculpted out of car parts. H/T mswas. (Earth 911)

And while we’re on the subject of sculptures, check out these creative alternatives to the traditional Christmas tree. ThatsalottaMountainDew. (GOOD)

I’m all for alternative holiday traditions, but, HOLY HELL THE KRAMPUS IS TERRIFYING. Caution, cube dwellers, there’s sound on this page. (Persephone)

Speaking of terrifying, Mike Myers is planning not only an Austin Powers sequel, but also
a stage musical. Listen, the Quincy Jones opening number? Solid. Any songs entitled “BeHAVE,” “The Shorn Scrotum Softshoe” or “I Wanna Alotta Fagina” have GOT TO GO. (MovieLine)

Or maybe we can just let James Franco review it, sit back, and watch the blithering linguistic fireworks. If you want a preview, here’s Franco’s epically pretentious review of Twilight. I’m going to say the same thing I usually say about Franco, “Is he kidding me with this?” (FilmDrunk)

I wish they had had these picture keyboard stickers when I was learning how to type. “B is for Bowie,” indeed. (Chris DeLorenzo)

You know I don’t do cute animal photos, right? So it’s a good thing these 46 tortoise hatchlings are born looking like grumpy old men…thatIwanttosnuggle. (Zoo Borns)

Speaking of wee things, there’s a museum in Spain where millions of toy soldiers are posed to recreate The Great Battles of History. I would be HORRIBLE at this job. Ask anyone who ever tried to play Domino Rally with me. (Smithsonian)
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Speaking of toy figures, check out these awesome aeriel shots of a recent protest in Russia. The photographer, Dmitry Chistoprudov, took them with this supremely rad homemade photocopter. I want one. (BioTV)

Were you just thinking to yourself, “This Love does not have nearly enough Twilight hate.” You are right, as usual, gentle reader. I was saving this scrumptious treat for you. It’s the great Takei, attempting to bridge the gap between Star Wars and “Star Trek” with our mutual hate for Twilight. If that doesn’t work, he can always try this escalator.

Finally, I should be linking to this preview for Judd Apatow’s new HBO series “Girls” which is a droll little hipster look at REAL girls with REAL bodies and REAL problems etc etc. And don’t get me wrong, I’m excited for it. But this “Sh*tGirlsSay” web series made me snort. And that I cannot pass up. The opportunity to make you snort. So here it is, I’d be offended if I weren’t laughing so loudly.









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Comments

He’s a primarily physical villain, he’s a classic movie monster in a way — but with a terrific brain.

That's exactly what I wanted to hear.

Posted by: Ghisent at December 13, 2011 1:53 PM

Turtles: Still creepy.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at December 13, 2011 2:12 PM

When I tell someone to turn something down, it's because it's fucking loud.


My family is really loud. All of them. I don't get it. They're less than a foot away from each other and they're still YELLING.


I know that was a joke and all in good fun...but...they're loud. And I can't help it if I'm a light sleeper. I hear everything.

Posted by: Candee at December 13, 2011 2:24 PM

The Krampus, the Yule Cat, and 6 to 8 black men... There are some pretty strange holiday traditions surrounding Christmas. But I guess some old bearded guy in a red suit coming down a chimney is pretty weird too.

Posted by: MRod at December 13, 2011 3:03 PM

Listen, the Quincy Jones opening number? Solid. Any songs entitled “BeHAVE,” “The Shorn Scrotum Softshoe” or “I Wanna Alotta Fagina” have GOT TO GO.

"Once Upon a Goldmember"? "C'est Mojofique"? "If My Fembots Could See Me Now"?

...I'll close the door behind me.

Posted by: Jast at December 13, 2011 3:37 PM

The baby torti look like a herd of cybermats.

Posted by: BWeaves at December 13, 2011 3:56 PM

Chris Eigeman sighting in the trailer for that Apatow show. I'm in.

Posted by: jM at December 13, 2011 4:27 PM

Hmm....now where do I put my Dickens' Krampus Village in relation to my Festivus pole? I swear, the holidays are just too much work!

And say what you will about those dog movies, Grodin will always be singing with Miss Piggy in my mind. "And you know what else? You can't even sing! Your voice was dubbed."

Posted by: NateS1973 at December 13, 2011 7:34 PM

I haven't read the article, but can someone explain to me how eating raw dough full of raw eggs is not gross? Did the paper say to cook things that will make you sick if eaten raw?

I can be unexcited about the latest Great Gatsby adaptation for all us. Almost as unnecessary as every Jane Eyre or Pride And Prejudice movie that flags us down every 40 minutes, or so.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at December 14, 2011 11:34 PM