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In A Shocking Turn Of Events The People's Choice Awards Make The Right Choice

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (31)



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The People’s Choice Awards aired last night and, in an unprecedented display of good taste, the plebs People chose Chloe Moretz over the entire cast of Harry Potter in the “Best Actor Under 25” category. The rest of the list of winners are the usual suspects of “hunh?” “her?” and “people actually watch that?” But, for once, the most talented actor won. This pleased me. (Evil Beet)

P.S. I don’t know what Ewan MGregor was doing at the PCAs. I don’t know why he has a black leather band on his thigh, but I thank him for showing up and flashing those pearly whites. Here’s a collection of eye candy the talented male performers who joined him on the red carpet last night. (Celebitchy)
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Do you want a link that combines talented male performers, 90s nostalgia and wang jokes? Well, then, SBrown and I have the link for you! Alan Tudyk may have just ruined pickles for me. Forever. (Twitter)

Speaking of ruiners, this list of 11 Insane Features of Normal Human Anatomy has made me really uncomfortable about my tongue. And it’s in my mouth. Right. Now. (Mental Floss)

I am both astonished and grateful that the ITV soap “Downton Abbey” has become such a breakaway hit. Usually I am alone in my love for fusty British things. Turns out all we needed was a dead, naked Turk to pique everyone’s interest. Here’s a mash-up of Beyonce lyrics and “Downtown Abbey” scenes. I know. But it works. (Downton Abbeyonce)

Speaking of fusty Brits, turns out a Jedi could teach them a thing or two about how to hold their cuppa. (That’s Nerdalicious)

While we’re on the subject of Star Wars, check out the great artwork from “paperbeatsscissors,” including these sweet yet existential droid posters. (Society6)
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I’m going to hop from Star Wars to “Star Trek” without offending anyone. Right? Groovy, admin sent over this contest link. Turns out he’s always wanted a Tricorder. Funny, I would have pegged him as the Phaser type. (Topless Robot)

FSR has a great collection of the 14 Most Impressive Monologues In Movie History. Some of the usual suspects are here, but I was completely surprised by #2. I don’t disagree, I was just surprised. (FSR)

You want impressive monologues? Check out Dustin’s screed against AMC over their plans for the massively disappointing “The Killing.” I dunno, I found the news liberating. Another show officially bumped from the DVR. (Warming Glow)

Let’s direct our ire, instead, at all the *ssholes of the world who leave their cell phones on during performances. One particularly d*ckish gent let his phone interrupt the NY Philharmonic. You can read an eyewitness’s account here, and then hop on over to the Wall Street Journal for the conductor’s own take on the incident. (WSJ)

Speaking of cell phone etiquette, that bastion of rule and order, The Alamo Drafthouse, is hosting a worst of CGI special event. You know, I’m on record as hating the bulk of CGI and after you see this preview, you may be forced to agree.

Finally, this goes out to admin, TK and Prisco, without whom I would never have seen half these films. Enjoy this head ‘splodey supercut. But eat your lunch first.









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Comments

I need the tricorder invented so that I can be absolutely positive that not a shred of your DNA remains after I vaporize you with a Klingon disruptor. DUH!

Posted by: admin at January 12, 2012 1:32 PM

Granted, Hitler's the worst of anything and everything, but I don't see what's CGI about those sections of the video...

Posted by: mswas at January 12, 2012 1:39 PM

That's Ewan McGregor? and not John Travolta circa 1980? Are you absolutely sure?

Posted by: anikitty at January 12, 2012 1:45 PM

The Chloe Moretz news was the least disappointing news about the peoples choice awards. Ryan Reynolds Winning best Superhero, really?!

Posted by: RustyCrowe at January 12, 2012 2:12 PM

The head explosions reel was nauseatingly awesome! But I would add the head crush from Jarmusch's "Dead Man". That was jarringly realistic.

Posted by: mfg at January 12, 2012 2:13 PM

Re: Celebitchy...
I love Tim DeKay, especially as Jonsey on Carnivale!

Glad I am not the only person who finds him sexy...

Posted by: MRod at January 12, 2012 2:16 PM

I'm going to be the jerk who corrects you here-- it's "Downton" not "Downtown". No second w.

[Blech and I knew that too. Dame Maggie would not approve.--JR]

Posted by: candace at January 12, 2012 2:32 PM

Gah, that Philharmonic story hit a nerve. Cell phone disruptions are a huge annoyance. In my time in the Tour Choir at my college, we would have a big concert at the end of the year that we would record to make into an album. Before the concert, one of us would politely make an announcement about the recording and ask the audience to silence all cell phones. And, of course, someone would ignore us. Every time I listen to our version of "O Magnum Mysterium," I cringe as the ending is completely ruined by some jackass's ringtone, forever preserved on the recording.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 12, 2012 2:54 PM

The wet slurping noises at the end of "Heads Blow Up" was the most disturbing part. I think I've just performed the world's first giggle-vomit. Must lie down now...

Posted by: Bob Frapples at January 12, 2012 3:01 PM

Re: FSR Monologues
So glad to see Burstyn's scene from 'Requiem.' One of the most moving performances ever captured on film. I'll say it again: she deserved the Oscar that year, and Julia Roberts can put on her Brockovich sunglasses and go suck a bag o' dicks.

Posted by: ShagEaredVillain at January 12, 2012 3:05 PM

You're awesome. I feel loved by Pajiba Love.

I've always known pickles were disgusting and I'm so glad to help the rest of the world realize it too.

Posted by: SBrown at January 12, 2012 3:05 PM

I'm so glad to help the rest of the world realize it too.

Don't break your arm pattin' yourself on the back there.

You'll never change me.

Posted by: Jay at January 12, 2012 3:16 PM

FAVORITE CABLE TV DRAMA NOMINEES
Dexter
Game of Thrones
True Blood
White Collar
Pretty Little Liars - winner

Uhm, hello, humanity? Just calling to say my faith in you is lost.
Who exactly are they asking when they come up with these results? Is it in any way possible for Slutty Little Spoiled F*ckwits to have more fans than GoT?

Posted by: Irina at January 12, 2012 4:01 PM

Oh and if the latest Harry Potter qualifies as an "action movie", why not nominate Dan Radcliffe as an "action movie star" too? Just so the world would NEVER stop laughing.

Posted by: Irina at January 12, 2012 4:05 PM

For me, it's Travolta's tone of voice when he says 'aaw man I shot Marvin in the face'
Explanation point omitted on porpoise. It's how blasé he is about the whole thing. Always, always has me in stitches. Terrible, terrible stitches.

Posted by: Nadine at January 12, 2012 4:13 PM

to have more fans than GoT?

Oh yes, Game Of Thrones is more niche than you think. It's a very loud niche, but a niche.

Posted by: Jay at January 12, 2012 4:20 PM

RE: NY Philharmonic story.

My parents had a similar experience at the theater, except it wasn't a cell phone.

A little background: My mother has a pacemaker/defibrilator. It was recalled, so she had it replaced with a new one. Her granddaughter asked if she could have the old one to bring to school for Show and Tell, and my Mom thought, "Why not?" So my Dad puts it in his pocket to take to my Sister's house.

So, my parents are sitting in the theater and someone's cell phone goes off near them. My Dad checks their cell phone, and it's turned off. My parents are looking around and thinking, "Idiots!"

After the show, they go to my Sister's house and have supper. My Dad had laid the pacemaker on the kitchen counter. Well, the old pacemaker still had the battery in it. It plays music if it detects low heart function, to let you know that you need to call your doctor, ASAP. It had apparently been going off for a week or so, constantly at their house, but they never heard it because my Dad is deaf and my Mom never goes in the kitchen, where it was laying on the counter.

My parents were very embarrassed after the fact.

Posted by: BWeaves at January 12, 2012 5:09 PM

Sounds more like the "Teenage Girl's Choice Awards".

Posted by: Bert at January 12, 2012 5:22 PM

No good can come from using chloe moretz as your header pick. Give it 5 more years please.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 12, 2012 5:35 PM

Game Of Thrones is more niche than you think.

More niche than Pretty Little Liars? Don't get me wrong, I know I'm not "people" or in the industry any longer, but shouldn't the "People's Award" be for something people have actually heard of? I'm pretty connected, more than your average TV slob, but I've never heard of this lost little gem.

That said, Dexter's sucked for at least 2 seasons and True Blood for at least that. Never seen White Collar, but seeing as I've also not ever seen any talk, chatter, hype or even promos for it, I find it hard to understand how it's on the list. Moreso for Pretty Little Liars. How exactly did "people" chose these?

I shouldn't complain I guess. If it were truly the people's choice awarded the show would be all Jersey Shore, How I Made a Sex Tape and Some More Whores Who Married Rich.

Posted by: Protoguy at January 12, 2012 6:25 PM

I swear to god American child actors get the easiest free pass ever.

Posted by: googergieger at January 12, 2012 9:30 PM

Barf. Chloe Moretz?!?!? She's so self-aware it's painful to watch.

Posted by: eliza at January 12, 2012 10:34 PM

So, Supernatural won two categories and they still wouldn't invite Jared and Jensen? Not cool guys.

Posted by: Delilah at January 12, 2012 11:24 PM

Told you so.

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Posted by: kengao46 at January 13, 2012 1:06 AM

downtonpawnee.tumblr.com is better, because Parks and Rec wins everything. The latest one had me giggling like the school girl that I am.

Posted by: beth at January 13, 2012 2:34 AM

I was just going to mention downton pawnee. Beth you beat me to it. And yes, Parks & Rec wins everything, everytime.

Posted by: Hadar at January 13, 2012 2:40 AM

That description of the liver makes it sound like the portrait of Dorian Grey. And I'm thrilled and discover that mangina is a real thing.

Also, nothing will derail my adoration of pickles. Or of Alan Tudyk.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at January 13, 2012 12:43 PM

Chloe Moretz looks like a baby Jodie Foster in this pic...prescious and dangerous look.

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Posted by: Alice at January 14, 2012 8:08 AM