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If It Ain't Broke, Um, Smash It To Bits With An Axe Anyway I Guess: Stephen King And "The Shining" Sequel

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (27)

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Did you know my little purple proses that it’s Banned Book Week? Oh it surely is! So get out your dog-eared copy of “Lady Chatterly’s Lover” or “Prisoner of Azkaban” and revel in the forbidden fruitiness of it all. Here is a list of banned titles you might have read as a child. (Buzzfeed)

I read all those books. My children will read all those books. In fact, if I could live in a house that was wall to wall bookcases, I would. Here’s a few samplings of eccentric bookshelves for inspiration. THE FIRST ONE IS MADE OF BOOKS. (The Blog On The Bookshelf)

If you’re more into comics than books, here is a nice little list of hi-res Calvin and Hobbes desktop images. Since Watterson is notoriously anti-merchandising, these images are somewhat illicit. Yes? No? (Unreality)

While not illicit, these images from Burton’s Dark Shadows adaptation are disturbing. I mean, they basically just recycled HBC’s hair and make-up from Alice, right? Michelle Pfeiffer, however, looks amazing. (Empire)

Amazing looking as always, Salma Hayek cuddles both Antonio Banderas and some real live kittens on the red carpet for Puss and Boots. (Celebitchy)

I don’t know if you’ll agree with me that Banderas belongs on this tumblr, but I’m sure many of you will join me in thanking the chaplain for sending it over. (Hot Old Men)

Speaking of hot men, Pajiba’s very own dreamboat, the always thoughtful Steven Lloyd Wilson, has started covering legitimate (non-ZOMG-SRL) news. Check out his pieces on Central Asia here. (Universal News Wires)

Another writerly dreamboat, Matt Zoller from Salon, has compiled a list of The Over-Acting Hall of Fame. Oh, Jennifer Jason Leigh, I cannot disagree. (Salon)

Speaking of larger than life actors (THAT IS NOT A FAT JOKE) Marlon Brando was apparently in talks to appear as the young Vito Corleone in Godfather II. Here is a letter from Coppola delicately begging Brando to do it. The last paragraph sort of killed me. (FilmDrunk
)

The lovely mswas has, over the last year, sent me several cute lorum ipsum sites. Here is a round-up of them all. Liquor Ipsum (I hardly knew her Ipsum) is my favorite. (Queness)

But why isn’t there a Durden Ispum? (Fight Club)

And speaking of the foul-mouthed Durden, here is a supercut of cinematic f*cks broken down by grammatical usage.

Finally, to conclude this banned book edition of Pajiba Love, can we ban Stephen King from writing this sequel to “The Shining”? Can we ban the inevitable film adaptation? PLEASE? I want to redrum everyone.

Joanna Robinson hopes it’s obvious that the first video was really ********* **** ****** ***** NSFW. Also? Hey, look, Almost Famous made into into the f*ck video! Great movie. Check it out sometime.









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Comments

the SHINNING? really?!

(Wow. . .waaaay too many years of cracking "Simpsons" jokes. Fixed.--JR)

Posted by: poesy at September 28, 2011 1:07 PM

Hello guys Look gaga in http://celebslam.celebuzz.com

Posted by: Queen at September 28, 2011 1:11 PM

Okay, anyone who is too young to have seen that particular The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror, kindly step over to the left and form an orderly line.

'S a good joke, Joanna. Don't you dare change it.

(TOO LATE! But I will forever remember you as The Commenter Who Gets Me. Who Truly Gets Me.--JR)

Posted by: Jerce at September 28, 2011 1:12 PM

The overacting list is awesome and GARY OLDMAN SHOULD BE AT THE TOP OF THE LIST!

//flees and doesn't look back//

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at September 28, 2011 1:26 PM

//runs back//

//trips on new shoes which are way more fetishy looking than expected, but they have paisley soles so I may keep them anyway//

How could they forget Peter O'Toole? He is a great big, caked in brown sugar with pinepple and maraschino cherry rosettes HAM and I love every single minute of it.

//collapses//

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at September 28, 2011 1:30 PM

Oh dear. Mrs. Julien's blood sugar is low again. Someone get her a cookie and sit her down.

Posted by: ZombieMedic at September 28, 2011 1:36 PM

Men that make your underwear go flying off just with the twinkle of their eye:

1. John Stamos
2. Robert Downey Jr.
3. Patrick Dempsey

And yes, more should be added to that tumblr.

Posted by: MissRos at September 28, 2011 1:43 PM

I don't think Pacino was overacting in Scarface. Cubans are really like that. I'm half Cuban so I should know.

Posted by: MissRos at September 28, 2011 1:54 PM

Thank you to the chaplain for providing me with my afternoon's entertainment.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at September 28, 2011 2:20 PM

Re: that overacting list:

Fucking Gary Oldman is a goddamn treasure.

Those bastards.

Posted by: ChristianH at September 28, 2011 2:31 PM

Nicole Kidman rates top 10 and Nicholson is left out in the cold? Dude has chewed so much scenery he'll never have to eat a bran muffin ever again.

Posted by: JrFanBoy at September 28, 2011 2:31 PM

joanna, my mistake for not getting a simpson's reference, if that's what you were going for. i'm going to confirm my lack of hipster cred now by confessing that i've only seen the simpsons a handful of times. and not because i'm too young, but probably because i'm old as f*ck. anyway, enjoyed the blog.

Posted by: poesy at September 28, 2011 2:38 PM

Thanks for the links as always!

Love those Calvin and Hobbes wallpapers. Loved the Coppola letter to Brando.

And enjoyed the SLW central Asia piece. The only reason that I can find Uzbekistan and Tajikistan on a map at the moment is that I've been cramming geography.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at September 28, 2011 2:47 PM

Yay! I love that hot old men blog. Old men don't get enough appreciation. And for those looking for more, it appears to get updated every few days

Posted by: the chaplain at September 28, 2011 2:58 PM

Pajiba ipsum snarky bitchy reviews. Community this list is missing bangable eloquent eloquence. Sexy celebrities are better than us fuck electric bugaloo Human Centipede trade news mindhole. Comment diversion RDJ hot excellent review cannonball Olyphant, Hollywood, overrated, bunk, Emma Stone. Christina Hendricks bacon whiskey baby ninja star, Baby Goose, seriously random list liquor overlords. Fassbender. Almost Famous rhymes with vagina basement murdertank butthole.

Posted by: ipsum at September 28, 2011 2:58 PM

True or false, Garfield was developed as a deliberately over-commercialized merchandise-driven version ("homage" meaning "I Spit Upon Your Grave", meaning rip-off) of C & H?

If not, isn't this a better explanation than whatever lame reality turns out to be?

Discuss.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at September 28, 2011 4:12 PM

I GOT IT!!!

(what I don't got, but kind of want, is Margaret's funky little shirt/dress on the cover of AYTG?IM,M)

Posted by: Sara Tonin at September 28, 2011 5:04 PM

You read all four Twilight books?

Posted by: Jay at September 28, 2011 5:21 PM

Lucky cats, being fondled by both Salma and Antonio.

Posted by: Slash at September 28, 2011 6:35 PM

That list of banned books makes my soul cringe. There's one, though, that isn't on that list that I've always found totally mind-boggling: several years ago, members of the Alabama State Textbook Committee tried to ban The Diary of Anne Frank because they felt it was "a real downer."

Posted by: [. . .] at September 28, 2011 6:38 PM

Since GARFIELD came out 7 years before CALVIN & HOBBES, I would have to say GARFIELD isn't a ripoff of C&H. And I recall GARFIELD started out as a funnier-than-average comic strip.

Posted by: Pat C at September 28, 2011 8:12 PM

Okay, that is Michelle Puh-Feiffer? I thought it was Kristin Bauer... I had to look it up on IMDb just to make sure.

Posted by: MRod at September 28, 2011 8:20 PM

Oh, you just brought back vivid memories of my sweltering summers, age 10 to 12, spent in my Louisiana attic, reading the discarded-texts of my drug-addled, oldest brother, a student at University of New Orleans. He parked his books in our attic each semester, and I would immediately sneak up the ladder to read them. I was so obsessed with reading his books, that I would linger in the attic until my mother called out to me,"Honey, are you OK??!!"

My favorite was "Catcher In the Rye," but the poetry of Richard Brautigan, "Trout Fishing in America," "In Watermelon Sugar," fascinated me, even though I was confounded by phrases like, "I was inside of you twice today." "WHAT?"

My brother eventually brought home a complete collection of J.D. Salinger, enough to make me a fan for a lifetime.

All I can say is, "banned books" made me the woman I am today---maybe not much to speak of, but I have damned good taste in literature.

Posted by: Stinky at September 28, 2011 10:38 PM

How could the "100 best fucks" in film possibly forget Samuel L. Jackson? He should have been in there at least twice that I can think of.

"It's English, mother fucker. Do you speak it?"

"I'm tired of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfuking plane!"

Posted by: Uncle JR at September 29, 2011 7:04 AM

Old men don't get enough appreciation.
---
Damn right.

Posted by: , at September 29, 2011 11:03 AM

Oh Joanna... you fucking rule.

Posted by: chanohack at September 30, 2011 11:36 AM

nice post. was good to read

Posted by: hcg weightloss at November 5, 2011 12:23 AM