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I Wasn't The Only One Waiting For The Triumphant De-Shirting, Was I? Er, I Mean, Girl Power! USA!!

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (19)

USA.jpeg

Okay, we all know I don’t do sports. It’s well-documented. But, my striking strikers and heavenly headers, I was cheering with the rest of you when the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team bent it like Beckham this weekend. I might have even exclaimed “DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?!?” Yeah, I’ve seen a few sports movies, why do you ask? (The Mary Sue)

And I’m just kidding (mostly) about that Brandi Chastain-inspired shirtless comment. My love of cleavage is also well-documented, but I’m not a monster. For instance, I am mostly offended by this Everything You Need To Know About Boobs infographic. But then, then, they made a word cloud out of all the boobphemisms. A Cleavage Cloud?!?! That’s like my kryptonite. (Bro Bible)

But while we’re down here in the gutter, let’s all take a gander at my lord and master’s magnum O-Face opus over at Uproxx. That’s right, our very own Dustin Rowles has amassed, for your viewing pleasure, the best O-Faces of American’s TV reporters. My favorite has to be the Bill O’Reilly. PAPA BEAR! (Uproxx)

Speaking of O-Faces, it’s hard to take Jon Hamm/Don Draper as seriously after spending some quality time on Emotions With Jon Hamm last week. “Mad Men” really needs to come back. Until then, this will have to tide me over. What Would Don Draper Do? (The Oatmeal)

I suppose, my fellow fantasists, that Jon Hamm/Don Draper conflation is just one in a long line of actors/roles I have difficulty separating. For instance, I follow Stephen Fry on Twitter because I’m secretly convinced he is the reincarnation of Oscar Wilde. (Which is why this nonsense over the weekend bothered me.) And I’ll admit when I saw that Reese Witherspoon met the Royal Newlyweds, I was surprised she wasn’t wearing an Elle Woodsian shade of pink. (Celebitchy)

Quizas, mis corredores queridos, Witherspoon chose to wear red as an homage to the running of the bulls that is currently taking place in Pamplona. Well, probably not, but these photos from the San Fermin festival are gorgeous. (In Focus)

If I were ever to muster up los ovarios to run with the bulls, all you would hear from me is one long “F**************************************CK” (or “CH*NGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHRRRRRGGGGGGAAAAHHHHH” if I were feeling nasty). In honor of that, America’s favorite swear word, here is a round-up of TV’s most memorable F-words. And yes, there is video and yes, Malcolm Tucker is well-represented. (Warming Glow)

Speaking of volatile Brits, I hope you’ve been following this explosive phone hacking scandal. I think my favorite part so far is the giant f*ck you the employees of the “News of the World” gave their boss…via crossword. (The Guardian)

Speaking of hidden messages, is anyone else having a hard time figuring out Google+? Well, not a hard time but a lazy time? I’m fairly lazy myself when it comes to technology so I really dug these 20 Tips To Enhance Your Google Plus Experience. Yeah, okay, so he explains how to mute a post twice. MUTING A POST IS IMPORTANT. (Web Trickz)

Does Peter Jackson have a Google+ account? If he did, I would be all over that because I find him utterly delightful. Here is his second video blog from the set of The Hobbit. Don’t tell anyone I said this, but I sometimes find his set videos more entertaining than his films. Ahem, King Kong (MovieLine)

Speaking of utterly delightful, here is a lovely instructional video on how to moonwalk. I know, I know, it’s about 20 years too late for you to impress the honeys. What if you did it ironically. I mean, the man is wearing a sweatband…that has to be hipster irony, right?

Learning Breakdance: The Moonwalk from Chris Koelsch on Vimeo.

I’ll close today’s jockular P. Love with another sports item. This is an unbelievably cool skiing video. If you’re at work, my little lodge bunnies, you can watch it with the sound off. The trance-y music really only detracts. Enjoy!

Joanna Robinson is pretty sure everyone is on Google+ now, right? Everyone but her mom?









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Comments

What, no mention of Hope Solo, the woman with the sexiest name possible?

Posted by: The_wakeful at July 11, 2011 1:44 PM

Hope saved first.

Posted by: branded at July 11, 2011 1:47 PM

Great win, yes. I was very excited. Nevertheless, this high-profile game glaringly exhibited yet again the utter lack of accountability and integrity there is in the officiating and rules of international soccer. Seriously, FIFA, do you want to get the U.S. more interested in soccer? Make the game make sense. A few tweaks are all it needs. You can start with a rule that guards against that fake injury balderdash.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at July 11, 2011 2:09 PM

Hope Solo annoys the crap out of me. Talented she may be, but she is so full of herself. Abby Wambach, now there's a woman a gay man can get behind.

Posted by: Jerry at July 11, 2011 2:23 PM

Abby Wambach taking her shirt off? No thanks. Maybe Miss Solo could've stood in for her. Yes. That will do nicely.

I posted a video of the build-up and subsequent Wambach goal on Facebook today and the response was overwhelming!!! Wait, no, that's not right. Ummm, oh yeah! Not one single person commented or liked it. NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON. Fuckin' jerks.

Posted by: Kballs at July 11, 2011 2:35 PM

I have supported the women's side a lot longer than and harder (heh) than I have the men's side. And I was pleasantly surprised by my Facebook friends and seeing how many people were cheering them on and were cheering for them.

Posted by: Nimue at July 11, 2011 2:52 PM

I'm pretty sure it's Lainey's fault Kballs.

Besides, it's not like it's hockey.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at July 11, 2011 2:56 PM

Lainey has already hinted today that she desires my death.

Posted by: Kballs at July 11, 2011 3:03 PM

It's not just your mom. What the hell's Google+?

Posted by: Captain Tuttle at July 11, 2011 3:13 PM

Lainey does all her best plotting while she and her cat braid each other's hair and talk about boys*.

*Boys is a euphemism for sudden violent, yet seemingly accidental, life ending incidents.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at July 11, 2011 3:18 PM

There was a soccer game yesterday? I was too busy watching the Bucs win 9-1.

Also, I like hockey.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at July 11, 2011 3:48 PM

Ooh. I needed some Malcolm Tucker today. FUCKITY BYE!

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at July 11, 2011 3:52 PM

I think Lainey hinted today that *I* desire you death Kballs, which is inaccurate.
Also, that vid was linked a whole bunch yesterday, so maybe you were just late to the party.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at July 11, 2011 4:04 PM

Call it sentimental, but pictures of the ecstasy of victory and the agony of defeat in sports tear me up. I can't help it.

Posted by: samantha t at July 11, 2011 5:00 PM

I see reference on Stephen Fry's part to "saddos" and "meanness" but what was the fuss about?

I did like his tweet game though.

Posted by: Sara Tonin at July 11, 2011 5:17 PM

I didn't hint shit. Kballs is the drama queen who thinks everyone hates him. WAAAAAAAAAAAH, emo boy.

Posted by: Lainey at July 11, 2011 7:51 PM

*But, if you're going to be emo, darlin', could you slap on some guyliner? You know how that does things to me.

Posted by: Lainey at July 11, 2011 7:52 PM

Yeah, the boob-cloud did it for me, too. Laminated on a card in my wallet. You know, in case I miss a reference.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at July 11, 2011 10:16 PM

Hey Lainey, you gotta a little red on you . . .

Posted by: Kballs at July 12, 2011 7:48 AM