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I Didn't Start Singing "Leather and Lace" When I Saw This Photo. You Can't Prove It.

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (35)

Leather and Lace.jpeg

Happy Monday my little buckets of golden popcorn. To be honest, I had forgotten the MTV Awards were even happening this weekend. Award shows aren’t really my beat. (Courtney is so lucky.) I do, however, have fond memories of watching the MTV Movie Awards when I was a teenager, you know, right in the ol’ MTV target demographic. This was back when I liked Ben Stiller. I won’t lie, I still make Armagedd’nSync references. But as far as what went on this weekend? Well snarking on the Red Carpet “Fashion” aside, I’d say the only thing really worth noting is Reese Witherspoon’s withering assessment of some of the younger women in her field. Also, Lifetime Achievement Award?! How old is Reese? Are MTV years like dog years? Is Reese the dog in this scenario? (NY Mag)

Speaking of red carpet “fashion,” you know what is always the best accessory, gents? Your g-ma. Here is my very first on-screen crush, the original Fassbender, Mr. Ewan McGregor, with his wee little Nanna. (Celebitchy)]

How good does Ewan’s new flick Beginners look? So good. If you haven’t seen the trailer yet, the movie is about a young man whose elderly father (Christopher Plummer) comes out of the closet. It looks like it might warm my cold black heart right up. Speaking of the gays, Home Depot has taken a very pro-gay stance, an unusual position for such a big box store. This makes me want to go out and replace my rain gutters or something. (Boing Boing)

Oh! Or maybe I can build myself this typographical bookcase. It’s number 2 on my list of wants after this Jurassic Park vehicle. Cleveh Geep. (Jurassic Park Jeep)

So we all know that neither Miss Sarah Palin nor her employer Fox News is very cleveh. (That’s Tina Fey not Sarah Palin, you macaroons.) Over the weekend Miss Palin made a rather humorous historical gaffe about Paul Revere. Fine, she’s not terribly well-educated and is super unsmooth when “put on the spot” with “gotcha” questions. Okay, Sarah, just say oops and call it a day. What? You’re defending your error?!?! WHAT? YOUR MINIONS ARE LITERALLY TRYING TO REWRITE HISTORY?! (Gather)

That sort of stubborn, willful ignorance makes me crazy. Maybe I can employ one of these 52 Bad Dudes to knock some sense into her well-coiffed head. A lot of them are villains but I guess the artist means “bad” in the Michael Jackson sense…JGL’s Arthur was bad-ass…so I guess that counts.
JGL.jpg

Speaking of the gangly gents, Warming Glow has a rather snarky post implying that one of my favorite actors, Martin Starr (BILL HAVERCHUCK!) is woefully miscast as a romantic lead. This assertion is so shocking I almost didn’t link the story, but then you wouldn’t be able to squeal and clap your hands with me at the idea of a film starring a trifecta of my TV faves: Lizzy Caplan (“Party Down”), Martin Starr (“Party Down,” “Freaks and Geeks”) and Allison Brie (“Mad Men,” “Community,” your naughty daydreams). When is it opening? Is it opening now? How about now? (Warming Glow)

In freakish news, some enterprising artist is attempting to illustrate all of H.P. Lovecraft’s Creatures. Good luck topping the Cthulhu Weiner Roaster, dude. (Cool Material)

Speaking of creatures, does the fact that whales have their own dialects/accents make you more or less afraid of them? Me, I always thought whales were rather cuddly, but humungous smart things make me a-sceered. (Science Daily)

I’m sorry, my fearless readers, did I make you a-sceered as well? Here, I’ll break my “no cute animals” rule to bring you this MacGyver cat video. Kind of super cuddly, right?

Finally, we have the cuddliest creature of them all, the doughy, white a cappella nerd singing “hip-hop.” I’m such a sucker for a cappella nerds. Enjoy this Will Smith mash-up, Big Whitey-style.

Joanna Robinson is wondering who arranged Steve Carrell’s hair in that header picture. Doesn’t he sort of look like your dad trying to be cool? Email!









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Comments

I would devour her.

Posted by: superasente at June 6, 2011 1:19 PM

I still make Armagedd’nSync references
Is Reese the dog in this scenario?

It's like scratching that perfect spot that makes a dog's legs spin.

Are The Film Experience aware that "Trainspotting" captions all the characters' names?

Doesn’t he sort of look like your dad trying to be cool?

Now that you've pointed it out, I'm seeing the bassist from Death Cab For Cutie, who I will never stop wanting to kill.

Posted by: Jay at June 6, 2011 1:21 PM

AH hahahah! The acapella violin guy -- can't take my eyes off of him.

Posted by: SeaKat at June 6, 2011 1:21 PM

Am I the only one who digs the Stevie Nicks reference? Yes? No?

And yes, Carrell is totally the 'Cool Dad' in that photo.

Posted by: Sara H at June 6, 2011 1:26 PM

Am I the only one who digs the Stevie Nicks reference?

Don Henley Must Die

Posted by: Jay at June 6, 2011 1:27 PM

If you click on that MTV Red Carpet Fashion link you get to see Kristen Stewart smiling. I didn't know she had those facial muscles.

Posted by: I Need More Allowance at June 6, 2011 1:31 PM

Apparently the Palinites are trying to say that being captured and exaggerating the strength of the colonial forces is the same as ringing bells and gunshots.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at June 6, 2011 1:32 PM

Re: Reese's lifetime achievement award: It's plainly obvious to me that MTV is plotting to exterminate all the "old" folks in a brilliant (but actually vapid) new society a la Logan's Run.

I dig those Lovecraft drawings.

If I ever win the lottery, I'll buy you that Jursassic Park jeep.

Palin makes me want to barf. If her knowledge of American history is so solid, why is that a "gotcha" question? What isn't a "gotcha" question? Is it unreasonable for constituents to expect their leaders to know our origins, particularly when they are at the site of the event in question? When she starts displaying some basic intellectual curiosity and a broader base of knowledge, perhaps she'll stop receiving questions like that.

She should have spun it like she was speaking metaphorically, i.e., the act of Paul Revere itself was a warning to the British from a broad historical perspective. Instead, she stupidly went the literal route. Go get some new handlers.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at June 6, 2011 1:38 PM

Speaking of creatures, does the fact that whales have their own dialects/accents make you more or less afraid of them?

That depends entirely on the specific accent. For example, I am very wary of whales that try to appear more folksy by dropping all the G's from the ends of their codas.

Posted by: branded at June 6, 2011 1:40 PM

Gracie is pregnant.

Posted by: Jay at June 6, 2011 1:41 PM

She should have spun it like she was speaking metaphorically, i.e., the act of Paul Revere itself was a warning to the British from a broad historical perspective.

I was thinking exactly the same thing DarthCorleone.

And they weren't even asking about American history. The question she was asked was, “What have you seen so far today and what are you going to take away from your visit?” That's a gotcha question? I mean the reporter asked you possibly the most benign question possible. It's as if she went looking for a hole to fall into.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at June 6, 2011 1:48 PM

Geez, I'm getting so worked up today I keep forgetting which words I've typed and which ones I haven't.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at June 6, 2011 1:49 PM

Forget the cheesy "cool dad" hair, someone should let Pat Boone know that Steve Carrell stole his jacket.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 6, 2011 2:08 PM

I have lurked here for so many years that it's completely ridiculous, but I needed to tell Jay "Well done" on the Star Trek IV reference. Well done indeed, sir.

Posted by: TheBean at June 6, 2011 2:10 PM

Not surprised with Palin's lack of American history knowledge (nor with the support she's getting from her followers). Fact is many natural-born Americans would fail the Naturalization Exam that foreigners take to become Americans.

How many know that the Constitution (that document we all swear to uphold and protect) was ratified in 1787? Or that Delaware was the first state to sign it (hence why it got the first state quarter way back in 2000)? Or why John Hancock's signature is the first one on the Declaration of Independence? (He was the President of the Continental Congress that passed it).

It's the height of irony to see someone like Palin out on a tour to promote America while being so ignorant of its history. Or it would be if it wasn't so obvious and so sad.

Posted by: Fredo at June 6, 2011 2:10 PM

How did it feel to unlurk TheBean? Did it feel more-ish?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 6, 2011 2:17 PM

If everyone just ignored Sarah Palin, she would go away. But alas, every little thing she says makes people fly off the handle and feign outrage for at least a week. Sigh.

Posted by: elizabeth at June 6, 2011 2:23 PM

I'm just going to speak for myself here and say there is nothing feigned about my outrage. The historical gaffe was silly and fine, the audacity and sheer mendacity of the spin is outrageous.

And no, forgive me, I don't think she will go away, she has a rabid and devoted following and illuminating her hypocrisy and ignorance is vitally important lest people forget and make the mistake of actually letting her run something again. SHE WAS IN CHARGE OF AN ENTIRE STATE. How did that happen? She almost became our vice-president? How is that possible?

Posted by: I Need More Allowance at June 6, 2011 2:27 PM

Posted by: Jay at June 6, 2011 2:28 PM

If everyone just ignored Sarah Palin, she would go away.
I've tried. Sadly it doesn't work. And, like Allowance, my outrage is quite real. It's not so much the in initial gaffe, but the whole "The big bad media, who pretty much worships the ground I walk on, is somehow out to get me." That question wasn't even a softball. It was on a fucking tee.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at June 6, 2011 2:33 PM

Well, I don't know all the numbers, but I'm pretty sure her fan base has rapidly decreased since '08 (less than 20% approval won't get you elected to anything). And I do believe it would continue to do so if we ignored her, but that's just an opinion/hope.

Posted by: elizabeth at June 6, 2011 2:55 PM

It’s number 2 on my list of wants after this Jurassic Park vehicle. Cleveh Geep.

Come for the Muldoonmobile, and stay for the unexplainable giant Weighted Companion Cube sitting in the back of it.

Posted by: branded at June 6, 2011 3:12 PM

I've got to admit, if the whale had a big ol' Paul Hogan Australian accent, I'd be less wary, than a whale with a Greman accent. That probably means I'm a horrible, horrible person, but so be it. Didn't the sharks in Nemo have an Australian accent? Maybe if the whales rapped, in a family friendly kind of lame ass way? MC SkatCetacean?

Posted by: Mrcreosote at June 6, 2011 3:15 PM

I am still hoping for another comment from TheBean. Ease yourself into it.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 6, 2011 3:26 PM

/15 minutes of stretching
/clears throat

That's what she said.

/runs like hell

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at June 6, 2011 3:31 PM

I thought The Beginners was about the dog from Frasier.

Posted by: fracas at June 6, 2011 3:39 PM

/rolls up newspaper/
/smacks Socrates on the nose/

No! Bad Pajiban!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 6, 2011 3:43 PM

elizabeth:

I agree with you and would comment further on the topic but I refuse to give said person any attention.

Posted by: PaddyDog at June 6, 2011 3:51 PM

Amazing. In the lead up to that first link you gave me two great bits of nostalgia, some incredible snark and a When Harry Met Sally reference. I love your brain.

Posted by: thecreepingkid at June 6, 2011 4:31 PM

Speaking of creatures, does the fact that whales have their own dialects/accents make you more or less afraid of them?

What about that one whale that sings in the wrong frequency and so none of the other whales can hear him . . . and he is just swimming around alone and lonely FOREVER UNTIL HE DIES?

It's true. :(

Posted by: Lauren at June 6, 2011 5:08 PM

Great song, Jay. And Mrs. Julien, this is going to sound creepy as fuck, but I have been lurking and reading comments since I was an undergrad, and I am now an unemployed JD. I laugh at all of you every day, I cried for Alabama Pink, and a Star Trek IV reference is what made me finally break. Sooo ashamed.

Posted by: TheBean at June 6, 2011 5:15 PM

Well, TheBean, I think it's time to laugh WITH us every day. (That was so heartwarming I might throw up. But not puke. Never puke. I am a lady.)

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 6, 2011 5:27 PM

Aw, thanks Ms. Julien. I will certainly try. (And here I thought ladies were supposed to regurgitate discreetly into a silk handbag or summat.)

Posted by: TheBean at June 6, 2011 5:47 PM

Look guys, y'all need to back off of Palin. Nothing she said was inaccurate. He did "warn" the British once he was captured, and there was at least one church bell involved (and I believe it was rung). It doesn't matter if warning and ringing weren't his primary objectives/intentions, those things did happen.

It's just like what I've been telling people about my parents' recent trip to Italy. My parents took that trip so they could eat at the Chili's in Chicago's O'Hare airport.

Posted by: pissant at June 6, 2011 6:03 PM

Check out my compilation album I created together with my music production with J-Stalin, AP-9, Sweet Geez, City Side Crew and so much more bay area rappers.

Posted by: DJ Taylor Made at August 4, 2011 3:34 PM