I Bet Lance Armstrong Has Two Testicles, Too
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I Bet Lance Armstrong Has Two Testicles, Too

By Sarah Carlson | Pajiba Love | January 18, 2013 | Comments ()


Happy Friday, kiddos! I'm your host for today's Love. Let's do this.

Oprah's interview with Lance Armstrong aired last night, reminding viewers that not only does Oprah still have a network but that Armstrong is a lying liar who lies. I didn't watch, mainly because all I would have seen was Armstrong looking something like this:


I do, however, feel for those who took their Live Strong admiration to a permanent level. (Buzzfeed)

Ben Affleck has his "I'm just happy to be included at all" line down concerning his Oscar snub for directing Argo. Does its Golden Globe win make it a contender for Best Picture? (The Carpetbagger)

He'd doing better than Russell Crowe, though. Crowe reportedly has been chasing after Amanda Seyfried -- even referring to her as his "beautiful Rapunzel." God, Russell, you're so stupid! (Celebitchy)

Listen up, nerds: If you don't feel like buying your own full-size replica of Bilbo Baggins' contract featured in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, you can at least read this lawyer's detailed and in no way a waste of time analysis of said document. (Wired)

Speaking of Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings trilogy is one of several films featured in these cool "spoiler posters," which sum up movies using a few images. ... Um, E.T. went home? (Unreality)

True story: I once was evacuated from the U.S. Capitol and had to run for my life along with other journalists and politicians because we thought there was a terrorist attack. Nope -- just a plane that couldn't be identified. It was carrying the governor of Kentucky or somebody to Washington for Ronald Reagan's funeral. Anyhoo, I learned in that experience that if there really is a terrorist attack, I will be one of the ones to die because running requires energy. And if the situation happens again, there will be a new statue to hobble past in Statuary Hall. The likeness of Rosa Parks will be the first of an African American woman to be installed in the hall. Very cool. (NY Times)

The owner of this laundromat probably doesn't care about Rosa Parks because he is just racist, y'all. (Uproxx)

I think I need this mug:


I'll keep it on my desk, and when co-workers think that it applies to them I will say, "No, your screw-ups are still unacceptable." (Etsy)

Apparently, Town & Country thinks Prince Harry beats George Clooney in the world's most eligible bachelor race. He may be royalty, but I prefer a guy who knows how to fake canoodle with Amy Poehler. (Life and Style)


(That's right -- I saved numerous gifs from Sunday's Golden Globes ceremony, just looking for an opportunity to use them. You're welcome.)

Speaking of gingers, one of my earliest loves was Danny Kaye, and today marks the 100th anniversary of his birth. (Although his daughter says he was actually born in 1911 but celebrated his birthday in 1913, because why not?) He is forever fabulous, and I will kill at least one other Pajiba writer (your choice!) if any of you buy me an out-of-print DVD of The Court Jester. Get it? Got it? Good.

Finally, this video made the Facebook rounds this week, and it is worth sharing again. Mai Tais for everyone!

Sarah Carlson thinks you should be impressed she only used two gifs and embedded one musical clip in this roundup. Cute pictures of corgis will appear next time, for sure.

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