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How To Go From Random Hot Actress To My Personal Hero In Five Tweets Or Less

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | April 26, 2011 |


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Were you aware, my little particle men and blue canaries-in-the-outlet-by-the-light-switch, that today is They Might Be Giants Awareness Day? I mean, I think the band themselves declared it as such. . .so that's a little odd. But they are an odd bunch. In honor of, well, themselves, the band has released four new songs on iTunes. (They Might Be Giants)

Speaking of every day oddities, I really wish the vampire-lovers would just stop it already. You've already made Kristen Stewart the top earning actress in Hollywood, this Blood-Type perfume nonsense is really beyond the pale. (Who Killed Bambi)

Sorry, my dears, the whole "Twilight" thing riles me up. Speaking of riling, I know how you adorably punctilious punctuators hate any errors in grammar. Here is a list of Eleven Grammatically Incorrect Movie Titles. It's all a bit fiddly for my taste, but I do love the idea of renaming Can't Hardly Wait as He Be Wearin' T-Shirts Sometimes. (11 Points)

If I were to pick one book from my youth that was most influential on my writering, I'd have to say it was "The Phantom Tollbooth." One of my favorite contemporary writers, Michael Chabon, has written a love letter to Norman Juster's classic and it lifted me right out of my morning Doldrums. (New York Review of Books)

While we're on the subject of reading and writering, I loved Amy Stewart's "Wicked Plants." In this interview with NPR she discusses her follow-up, "Wicked Bugs." No Humbugs here, but she did make me regret the ham I put in my eggs this morning. (NPR)

Speaking of books and parasites, Levi Johnston (or likely some unlucky ghost writer) is writing a tell-all about the Palins. See, I'm torn. On the one hand, I'm in favor of anything that might annoy Ms. Sarah, on the other hand, I am against anything that might earn this horrible kid more money. (Celebitchy)

And while we're on the subject of females I despise, actress Sarah Shahi (pretty, super-busty, was on "Dawson's Creek" once and is now on a stupidly titled USA legal show) ripped P***s H*l**n a new one via Twitter yesterday. I'm not allowed to say that woman's name but you know who I meant, right? London Hyatt? Madrid Radisson? (Evil Beet)

See, while I feel fine and dandy objectifying Ms. Shahi, I feel a little ookie leering at these ladies dressed as Disney Princesses. But, mostly, I feel that Sleeping Beauty needs a Sassy Gay Friend to ask her what, what, what is she wearing? Flora and Merryweather would NOT approve. (Unreality)

Boobquakes! Earthquakes! San Francisco! (This is how my train of thought routinely derails.) Marvel with me, won't you, at this model of the SF Bay Area made out of One Hundred Thousand Toothpicks. Lest you think this is too dorky a link to click on, I've included a mind-melting photo below. (Laughing Squid)

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Speaking of gravity-defying cities, check out this fantastic poster art for Inception. (Reelizer)

Let's meander back to boobs for a second. Did you know, my little know-it-alls, that "Gynecomastia" is the scientific name for man boobs? It sure is. This list of 25 Everyday Things You Never Knew Had A Name comes courtesy of reader Socrates_Johnson. I bet you know some of them. You are very clever. (Buzzfeed)

You know, my darling CGIdolizers, I was a little hasty when I said computer effects ruined everything. (Even though Harrison Ford kind of sort of agrees with me. And we know he has excellent judgment. Just ask Calista Flo-nevermind.) This somewhat grainy and wonky footage for Tarsem Singh's Immortals looks amazing to me. AMAZING. That might be my helmet fetish talking.

Finally, I know we're not all liberals here, and that's fine. I know some of us think Barack Obama is a bad president, and that's fine. But do any of us honestly. . .HONESTLY think he wasn't born here? I believe The Birthers are some of the most wack-a-doodle people out there and apparently the wack-a-doodliest of them all is Donald Trump. Anderson Cooper agrees with me.

Joanna Robinson should have seen the Trump-a-doodle coming from a mile away. Email! Twitter!


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