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How One Man Succinctly, Hilariously, and Mind-Blowingly Illustrated the Difference between the 99% and 1%

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | September 6, 2012 | Comments ()


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Hey Pajans! JoRo is taking the day off BECAUSE SHE DESERVES IT, THAT'S WHY, so you're stuck with me as your link (whatever the male version of wench is) today. Let's burn some skin off our asses.

Big night last night, huh? My old home-state hero, Bill Clinton, earned some votes and scorched some undies last night (I subconsciously found myself pulling off my boxers and didn't even realize it until I'd thrown them at my television). Most of you know, many of his remarks were off the cuff, but here's a cool look at just how much he ad-libbed his speech last night (hint: most of it). (Buzzfeed)

She's not as cute as the Obama girls watching their Mom deliver a convention speech with their Dad, but Hillary Clinton looks sufficiently charmed watching her husband, as if to say: That man's my husband! There's a one in four chance that he'll sleep with me this week.

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For the sake of political fairness: Even those mean old conservatives at the Weekly Standard were won over by Clinton last night, although they thought he also made a pretty good argument for Romney, too. (The Weekly Standard)

While we're on the subject, here's 10 Ways the Democractic Party is trying to be your best friend. Hey! It's working. (Jezebel)

That completes our political portion of Pajiba love today. Let us move on to last night's other major event: The opening of the NFL season, the game between the Giants and the Cowboys, and how Jerry Jones succinctly, hilariously, and mind-blowingly illustrated the difference between the 99 percent and the 1 percent. (The Ugly Fours)

Speaking of football, I spent my weekend in Vegas drafting a fantasy football team, because that's how dedicated to my dorkiness I am. On that subject, did you know that fantasy football is destroying the American economy. It's true, according to one study. (With Leather)

Let's take a break from politics and football now to look at this silly picture of Nick Nolte.

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It's not really politically related, but after last night's Obama/Clinton embrace, here's a pie chart showing what two men we'd like next to see give each other man hugs. (The Hairpin)

Guess who has written a new tale of Peter Rabbit? ONLY THE BEST PERSON IN THE WORLD. That's who. (The Hairpin)

Over on Warming Glow, I rank television's 10 best NOOOOOOOOOO moments. (WG)

Joe Paterno and Aaron Sorkin would seem to have no connection to one another, but hell if Newsroom didn't create one. (THR)

Ken Levine takes a gander at television shows that are too clever for their own good. (KL)

If you missed all the hoopla this morning, an airplane was forced to return to the airport and a man was arrested after a his friend called in a bomb threat. Guess what. It was a birthday prank. Jesus, people. Really, you should better consider your pranks. (Gawker)

Let's call this one the link of the day: Before a director is typically hired for a new movie, he often shows a pitch trailer to market his vision for a movie. Kevin Tancheron pitched his vision for Hunger Games before Gary Ross came aboard, and his pitch trailer is ... very interesting. Better, darker in some ways, and not nearly as good in some ways. Check it out -- do you like his vision of the movie better or worse than Ross' (/Film)

Over on Nerve, they take a look at the 10 sexiest men in comedy, and the fact that Daniel Tosh is not on it is all the reason I need to get this list man-pregnant (that is, pregnant with HUGS). (Nerve)

Finally, via Uproxx, I leave you this brilliant supercut of all the worst answers given on "Family Fued." My promise to you: At least 8 laughs.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • ,

    The "Family Feud" clips remind me of a "Newlywed Game" answer to the question: Where was the most unusual place you two have had sex?

    Her answer: In the ass?

  • Jemiah Jefferson

    It's "Tancharoen", like Maurissa Tancharoen, one of the co-writers of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Joss Whedon's sister-in-law, and yes I am that kind of nerd/pedant combo.

  • Jezzer

    That child in the Nick Nolte picture is actually screaming in terror because they're careening down the expressway.

  • Jim Slemaker

    Bill Clinton reminds me of every Baptist preacher I ever heard while growing up in the South: absolutely mesmerizing, and totally full of shit.

  • Me

    Actually, that's Jerry Jones' son-in-law, not "some guy who sits behind him and cleans his glasses."

  • Ed

    Nick Nolte is doing his best Chris Farley-as-the-bus-driver-from-Billy-Madison impression. AND NAILING IT.

  • Patty O'Green

    NEKKID GRAMMAW!

  • BWeaves

    Given that Emma Thompson turned the horrible novel (and I normally love Jane Austin) Sense and Sensibility into a good screen play, I suspect she'll do a great job with Peter Rabbit.

  • Patty O'Green

    The best thing about that edit of Hunger Games was spotting stolen clips. I counted:
    Harry Potter (at least movies 4 and 6)
    X-Men
    Skins
    Batman Begins
    Twilight
    Serenity
    Fifth Element
    Sherlock Holmes
    The Professional
    I liked that his seemed darker, but Ross' was more relatable, which gives it a new level of eeriness. That could be us in the not-too-distant setting-wise, ya know?

  • Fabius_Maximus

    In what world was The Hunger Games relatable?

  • Patty O'Green

    I don't mean the story, I mean the setting he created. The society seemed believable for our near-future, whereas the other video was extremely sci-fi, far away and far a-when.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Okay, fair enough. That was the one thing it did right.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Was it the way in which I felt that I too could somehow be a 20-something mistaken for a teenager and die to nobody's particularly emotional reaction because Dawson casting is evil?

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Almost. It was the way that the movie - never mind the actors' ages - was not able to evoke any kind of emotional reaction.

  • Katylalala

    I like Gary Ross' The Hunger Games much more than the one that I think would have resulted from Kevin Tancheron. Yes, it plays up the more sci-fi aspects of THG much more, and that's usually a good thing in my eyes, but I just don't care for it in this. In fact, I enjoyed the Ross vision so much that I'm one of those idiots who is actually nervous about the next movie and what turn it will take without him directing or helping with the screenplay.

  • Kathleen Allen

    sexy comedians? dylan moran. alan davies. eddie izzard. you're welcome.

  • wojtek

    Hell yes to Dylan Moran. Alan Davies is kind of starting to look like a local herb store lady though, at least on QI. (Still love him to bits, don't shoot.)

  • Rooks

    Thank you so, so much for Dylan Moran. He... oh, those eyes and that mischievous glint, in combination with that lopsided grin... oh deary me...
    I'd like to add Ed Byrne. And Steve Hughes, even though that might just be me loving the shit out of his "straight - it's the new gay"-routine.

  • RJ

    I'll be in my bunk watching "Black Books"

  • MichaelEhrgott

    Nick Nolte in "Indiana Jones 5: The Mayan Curse of Constipation"

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Nolte looks like he is about to implode... or spew... or something...

  • dizzylucy

    I was thinking more explode than implode. It definitely looks like things are about to bust outta that bumper car.

  • If that's not a man on his way to a bar I don't know what it is.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Well, if you're going to drive drunk, you could do worse than a bumper car.

  • lowercase_ryan

    Clinton's freestyling is mind blowing. I just love him so much. even if he did sign the Gramm-Leach-Bliley act =(

  • Did Nick Nolte steal a little girl? What's going on there?

  • lowercase_ryan

    that's his daughter, I heard. seriously.

  • Damn. That's impressive at his age.

  • Bert_McGurt

    The link that's supposed to send you to WarmingGlow directs to the Peter Rabbit link, at least right now.

  • pajiba

    Fixed. Thanks!

  • Patrick the Bunny

    Why is Louis CK not on the sexy comedians list!?

  • alwaysanswerb

    "Here, then are 2012's ten sexiest men in comedy. (Louis C.K. is disqualified because we've already determined that he's the sexiest man on television.)"

  • Nimue

    She prefaced it by saying he isn't included b/c he is the sexiest man on TV.

  • Patrick the Bunny

    ....Oops. *meekly shuffles out of room in embarrassment*

  • lowercase_ryan

    If self-loathing is that sexy, why aren't I getting laid?

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Are you vocal enough about it?

  • lowercase_ryan

    who's vocal about self-loathing? I mean seriously, unless you have a microphone and are on stage its best to just shut up with that. Try that crap at a bus stop or in line at subway and you're just weird.

  • You took the words outta my mouth.

  • Nimue

    What else can I take from your mouth? Rawr! (Yep, it's that kind of Thursday.)

  • wojtek

    Three molars with no anesthesia?

  • lowercase_ryan

    Link Dick

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