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How Dare England's Real Royal Couple Get Married In A Private, Discreet Ceremony? Will No One Think Of The Hats??!

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (61)



Rachel-Weisz-0423-1.jpeg

I know, I know, my twisted twenty-four hour news cycles. That Daniel Craig Rachel Weisz wedding happened DAYS ago. Why link now? Well…Weisz is pretty? I dunno, I am sort of sad about this union because I loved Weisz and Aranofsky together. I have a thing for actor/director couples (pour one out for Sam Mendes as well). Anyway, here’s a piece about how James Bond has been after Weisz for quite awhile now. We, none of us, can blame him. (Celebitchy)

Speaking of romance, here’s one of those nifty Maps Of The United States As Defined By ______. This time it’s Romantic Comedies. The Sweetest Thing for the San Francisco area? I’ll take it! (Blame It On The Voices)

Let’s take a moment to discuss irony. Is it ironic that “To Catch A Predator” host Chris Hansen was caught on camera cheating on his wife? I think not. I think it’s merely a crazy random happenstance. A black fly in your chardonnay, if you will. (The High Definite)

Attendez, s’il vous plaît. I know I’ve been accused of being pretentious, but this is too snotty even for me. It’s photographic compositions of a popular (and stupid) food trend here in SF and elsewhere, Deconstructed Foods. Listen, I was going to snap a gorgeous photo of my deconstructed dinner last night, but I couldn’t keep the Mac N’ Cheese box from casting a shadow over the butter, milk and, the pièce de résistance, a can of StarKist tuna. That being said, if you like food porn, feast your eyes on this. (French Cuisse)

Tuna is still the chicken of the sea, right? Jessica Simpson didn’t ruin that for us? Well speaking of birds, they’re still *ssholes. And apparently crows are grudge-holding *ssholes who will remember the faces of their enemies for FIVE YEARS. A lot can change in five years, crow! For example, crow, in 2006 the top films at the box office were a Pirates sequel, an X-Men sequel and that Pixar movie about cars. So, you know, um, learn to let go, crow. (Discovery)

In other @sshole news, presidential candidate for the Batsh*t Insane Party, Michelle Bachmann is being told by several musicians that they do not want their music associated with her particular brand of nutjobbery. I dunno, Tom Petty, I say let her keep that song that makes me think of skin suits and abduction vans. (Angry Black Lady)

Speaking of demented treatment of women, the cleveh boys over at Film School Rejects have come up with a Sucker Punch drinking game. I’d like to add a few rules. Chief among them is “Drink Every Time You Wonder What These Girls Have Against Pants.” (Film School Rejects)

While I really like these Rockwellian “Geek Art” portraits, nothing beats this bang-a-rang drawing of geek elite Simon Pegg wearing bits and pieces from all his various roles. You can see the breakdown here:
geeky American pop culture, whilst the bowler hat and cricket bat maintain his quintessential Britishness. The lack of trousers just make him look silly.jpeg

Pegg looks a little over-prepared. Reminds me of this kid. Apparently, Google was not over-prepared for the flood of people wanting to try their new Google+ product (a facebook replacement that xkcd promises your mom and dad won’t join). Google has put a “freeze” on invited to the new product due to “insane demand.” Well, either Google was unprepared or they are craftily building up demand for the product by limiting supply. I dunno, we never studied this in literature class. (LA Times)

Did that sound too “math is hard you guys, let’s go to the mall (today)”? Well, I can do math! Especially this adorable fairy tale math that serves as a clever ad for a toy shop. And speaking of clever ads, I love these Penguin ads for audiobooks. Super cute concept. (Laughing Squid)

But I am Leia Buns over teakettle in love with this Greenpeace campaign which spoofs the VW Darth Vader ad in order to shine some light on VW’s dubious practices. You can see Episode I on their website and I’ve posted Episode II here because of the part where they dance like Ewoks. Tasty, tasty Ewoks.

Finally, I don’t know what it is about this stop-motion video of some hipster dude drawing out T2: Judgment Day, but I was super enthralled. Is it that the line-drawings evoke A-Ha’s “Take On Me” video? (One of my favs.) Is it the drippy candles? The old school computer? I don’t know what to tell you. I love it.

Joanna Robinson is doing an Ewok dance to Take On Me right now. Swearsies. She’s changed all the words to “Jub Jub.”









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance



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Comments

That is just hot!

Hot, hot, hot.

Posted by: MRod at June 30, 2011 1:18 PM

Anyone want to join me in the countdown to Disney suing the toy store over using an image that is too reminiscent of their version of Cinderella? 3...2..

Posted by: PaddyDog at June 30, 2011 1:31 PM

OK, sorry, usually I don't care about typos, but it's:

Discreet

and

Judgment

[It shore is! Thanks.--JR]

Posted by: Slash at June 30, 2011 1:33 PM

"This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Lucasfilm Ltd."

Goddamn George, you don't have to try so hard. I already despise you!

Posted by: MurderBot at June 30, 2011 1:42 PM

As if the prospect of Pajibans frying me up and eating me wasn't bad enough, now even that cool video has been taken down! The oppression of the Ewoks is truly the last acceptable form of bigotry.

Posted by: Angeleno Ewok at June 30, 2011 1:59 PM

"This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Lucasfilm Ltd."

I knew George was Big Todd!

Posted by: mswas at June 30, 2011 2:01 PM

So Lucas got to his copyright attorney before VW could. Why am I not surprised?

Posted by: Kris at June 30, 2011 2:04 PM

Is Bachmann representing the same "batshit insane party" whose leader just held a news conference about the economy the other day and specifically pitted the poor working man vs. those who own private jets by mentioning said private jet owners close to five times in one speech, despite the fact that there were provisions in his own stimulus package that rewarded private jet making companies with tax payer dollars? While in the same breath neglecting to mention that he intends to treat those evil private jet owners exactly the same as couples earning 250k and year or an individual earning 200k?

Or the same "batshit insane party" whose supporters working for Harvard just released a study that, in their opinion, confirms that 4th of July celebrations are right-wing celebrations that have the unfortunate tendency to turn children who participate into republicans? Where they then go on to say that liberal dems. basically have no reason to celebrate the 4th because they get nothing out of it?

or I know, she's running for the same "batshit insane party" whose current leader just last week tried to name drop a living medal of honor awardee, but mistakenly mentioned the name of one that died in the line of duty instead, yet referred to him as still living?

That "batshit insane party"? Just wanted to make sure we're on the same page here. I think Bachmann's a wacko, but you can't possibly think for a second that there aren't a few thousand bats lurking in your own representatives belfries?

Can't you just post the link, make a joke, but leave the venomous partisan bullshit out of it? It makes you sound petty and small.

Posted by: Some Guy at June 30, 2011 2:11 PM

Some Guy, that was not meant as a dig on Republicans in general, merely Bachmann specifically who is not, as far as I understand politics, currently representing ANY party. Not until after the primaries, yeah? And I'm actually petty and tall, but you were very close.

Posted by: Joanna Robinson at June 30, 2011 2:15 PM

It makes you sound petty and small.

Likewise.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at June 30, 2011 2:18 PM

Ah, I smell another election cycle at Pajiba coming on.

Posted by: Jay at June 30, 2011 2:22 PM

I love that picture of Pegg, especially the sassy little hip jut he's got going on there.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at June 30, 2011 2:31 PM

I was going to leave a comment like "See? Even self-proclaimed conservatives link their party with the phrase 'Bat-shit Insane'", but thought better of it. Now I will just post this:

I'm gonna rock your body 'til Canada Day!

Posted by: Three-nineteen at June 30, 2011 2:32 PM

Um, missing the point on the food porn, dear culinary conflator.

"Deconstructed" dishes are bullshit. You don't serve someone a box of parts. What is this, Ikea?

Artfully photographed exquisite ingredients with the dishes they become is like Kama Sutra DVDs - yummy & how to all together. Good cooks get off on ingredients and the getting there as much as the final non-noms.

BTW, props to culinary school-guy. Mackerel is an under-appreciated under-used ingredient. Ewok, however is a difficult and often unrewarding ingredient no matter how you prepare it.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at June 30, 2011 2:36 PM

Joanna, that's just another example of the Lamestream Media's "gotcha" link posting practices targeted at Mainstreeters like myself. This is exactly why Paul Revere warned somebody about something some years ago.

Posted by: Emcee Peepants at June 30, 2011 2:37 PM

OK, what romantic comedy is represented by a throne with a crown hanging off of it? (Wisconsin) All I can think of is King Ralph. Is that a romantic comedy?

Note: I tried to read the legend and got frustrated/bored.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at June 30, 2011 2:37 PM

Elections Schmelections! Haven’t you been paying attention? DANIEL CRAIG IS NO LONGER SINGLE! What was once a chance in hell that I could maybe, if he had an off day and wasn't wearing his glasses, have a shot at consummation devoutly to be desired with the first choice on my Stays Loosener List is now a chance in something so extreme I don't even know what to call it. Have you seen Rachel Weisz? She's stunning. I would go so far to say as she is worthy of him. Who can compete with that? And now you come to me with some political haranguing? You think some vitriolic Pajiban poo flinging will make me take my heartache put it away and forget? No flame war can assuage my pain. You know what could assuage my pain? La Maison du Chocolat delivered by Daniel Craig. Oooh, the irony.

This is way worse than when John John got married.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 30, 2011 2:49 PM

Mrs. Julien, did you click over to the Celebitchy article and see the picture of Daniel Craig at the top? Spoiler alert: It's HOT.

Also, I would have to agree that if he was going to marry anybody, Rachel Weisz is a good choice. It's two great tastes that taste great together.

Posted by: MM at June 30, 2011 2:58 PM

I don't care how pretentious it makes me, I love that food porn site. As an obsessive cook it's stunning to see the ingredients laid out so beautifully before becoming the equally beautiful meal. ...I'll be in the corner.

Posted by: beckster at June 30, 2011 3:05 PM

I know MM! He has excellent taste. That was the true stumbling block to getting my shot!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 30, 2011 3:07 PM

I know you didn't mean the "Batshit Insane Party" like that, whatshisface deliberately took offense for no other reason than because some people LOVE being offended and feeling persecuted.

But I'll go on record right now saying that the Republican Party IS batshit insane. Seriously. And we all know that if Dumb Bitch 2.0 tries for the nomination, she'd run as a Republican. And they're just stupid enough to give it to her. It would ensure Obama's reelection, but like I said, the Republicans are stupid, so they probably don't see it that way.

Posted by: Slash at June 30, 2011 3:14 PM

What Slash said.

Posted by: PaddyDog at June 30, 2011 3:37 PM

"I'm Chris Hansen. Why don't I have a seat over there?"

Posted by: Blake Shrapnel at June 30, 2011 3:39 PM

Hmm! I agree that from the neck up and the waist down, he looks hot, but a too-short shawl collar cardigan?
Unless he's auditioning to replace Bernard Cribbins as grandpa to Donna Noble, he needs to lose the knitwear.

Posted by: PaddyDog at June 30, 2011 3:43 PM

Some Guy, I salute you.

Joanna, you're starting to sound like Jeremy.

Posted by: This Guy at June 30, 2011 3:48 PM

I sound super duper handsome? Yessssssssssss.

Posted by: Joanna Robinson at June 30, 2011 3:53 PM

The Royal Tenenbaums doesn't take place in Wisconsin, does it?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at June 30, 2011 3:55 PM

Really looked like the T2 hipster doofus was having the time of his life. Like he was really enjoying himself, you know?

Derp.

Posted by: Skitz at June 30, 2011 3:59 PM

No, you sound like you don't give a shit about who you alienate and/or offend. I'm not saying you should post things catering to conservatives or liberals. I am saying when you start spewing hateful sounding rhetoric and pejoratives, you sound like you just might be a member of that "bat shit crazy" party. You know, the one filled with mentally retarded racists and KKK members.

Posted by: This Guy at June 30, 2011 4:01 PM

Some Guy,

No shit there are crazies on both sides. They're politicians. I don't see anyone on the liberal side though that is showing the air between their ears as bluntly and unaware as Bachmann and her Conservative followers.

I'm saluting you too. Sorry, my other fingers were busy.

Posted by: Paultera at June 30, 2011 4:03 PM

Hey, Paultera

....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...

Posted by: This Guy at June 30, 2011 4:11 PM

I just want to know who drew that map of America. Lake Michigan is severely misplaced. And I have NO idea which movie is supposed to represent Illinois. I too, was lazy and did not read the 73 movie titles.
Back to the political strife in 3, 2, 1...

Posted by: antietam at June 30, 2011 4:17 PM

Wow... Some Guy, please tell me you have that saved somewhere, and did not just spend the eight minutes between posts creating that. No dog in the fight.

Posted by: antietam at June 30, 2011 4:20 PM

Hurr Durr!

Posted by: Paultera at June 30, 2011 4:21 PM

Aww how cute, This Guy, an ASCII bird.

Did you go and smash something after you copied and pasted?

Posted by: mswas at June 30, 2011 4:21 PM

Who's got a middle finger and too much time on his hands?

THIS GUY

Posted by: Paultera at June 30, 2011 4:23 PM

HAAAAAAAA Some Guy is a sad nerd.

Posted by: Snuggiepants at June 30, 2011 4:25 PM

Wow This Guy Wow.........Just out of curiosity how long did that thing take you??

Posted by: Nieve 'The Threadkiller Queen' at June 30, 2011 4:26 PM

HA Paultera and Snuggiepants!

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at June 30, 2011 4:27 PM

http://www.commentarymagazine.com/2011/06/29/syrian-president-suckers-kucinich/

Here is an asshat politician doing actual damage in the world. I WISH he would just take pics of his junk or make errors about US history during a Useful Idiot Speaking Tour. First Pelosi, now Kucinich. This isn't partisan, this is just plain dangerously stupid.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at June 30, 2011 4:28 PM

Look, we're all free to be you and me, but that was uncalled for, That Guy.

Posted by: That Girl at June 30, 2011 4:28 PM

antietam, I believe that there is actually no Lake Michigan represented on that map. Lake Superior, yes - Lake Michigan, no.

The stupidest part of Love, Actually (yes, PaddyDog, I know) takes place in Milwaukee, but why would it be represented by a throne?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at June 30, 2011 4:36 PM

I wasn't aware batshit-crazy was a political insult. DAMMIT. Now I can't call someone batshit crazy without getting into a political discussion.

Posted by: Melody at June 30, 2011 4:39 PM

Bats know not of our political parties. They simply poop out the crazy. Bat-shit crazy is what it is and that's all it is.

P.S. ASCII art? REALLY?

Posted by: MM at June 30, 2011 4:52 PM

Three-nineteen:

Thank you for the pre-emption. I just don't have the energy today. It's been a very long week.

Posted by: PaddyDog at June 30, 2011 5:11 PM

Hey, That Girl. Did you read the post above mine?

"No shit there are crazies on both sides. They're politicians. I don't see anyone on the liberal side though that is showing the air between their ears as bluntly and unaware as Bachmann and her Conservative followers.

I'm saluting you too. Sorry, my other fingers were busy."

See that last couple of sentences, that is a reference to giving Some Guy (Not to be confused with This Guy) the bird.

But anyway. I've had enough with a bunch of assholes mixing their entertainment with their hate filled crap so I'm out of here and I'm never coming back. So, with as little class as I can muster, I would just like to say fuck you all.

Posted by: This Guy at June 30, 2011 5:13 PM

No. Wait. *yawn* Don't go.

Oh. He's gone.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at June 30, 2011 5:20 PM

Wait, don't leave without typing a hand waving!

Posted by: Paultera at June 30, 2011 5:23 PM

HA!

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at June 30, 2011 5:28 PM

No problem, PaddyDog, I've got your back.

It kinda looks like a car...with a Jughead hat on, maybe? No, that doesn't help either.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at June 30, 2011 5:42 PM

How cute. We had a conservative getting his panties in a wad, ASCII art, and a flounce, all based on one little phrase. Score 1 for Joanna!

Posted by: pickled tink at June 30, 2011 6:21 PM

Aaaaaand FLOUNCE!

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 30, 2011 7:22 PM

This is a good topical read for anyone who hates conservatives as much as me. Have fun.

http://ih8conservatives.blogspot.com/

Posted by: Bill S. Preston, Esq. at June 30, 2011 7:41 PM

OK, what romantic comedy is represented by a throne with a crown hanging off of it? (Wisconsin)

Posted by: Three-nineteen at June 30, 2011 2:37 PM

That'd be The Prince & Me, a Julia Stiles monstrosity that I loved as a pre-teen.

Posted by: Electric Mongoose at July 1, 2011 1:07 AM

I made the same Silence of the Lambs association. That was extra amusing given the whole John Wayne Gacy flap, although I do think that gaffe was slightly overblown.

The good news is that - despite the squabble here - no one actually claimed that Bachmann herself isn't anything but batsh*t insane. Maybe there's hope for these two guys and their party yet, but if that theocrat wins the nomination, y'all have some serious explaining to do.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at July 1, 2011 1:14 AM

Best GBCW ever.

Posted by: stopthemadness aka Angry Black Ladybits at July 1, 2011 3:05 AM

Miss Julien I'm taking credit for the Craig-Weisz love match, as I put them both on my freebie list only a few days before.
Obviously, they read the list, said something along the lines of 'holy fuck, how do we save ourselves?!' and got hitched in a desperate attempt to dissuade me.
It didn't work, you hear me, you two?! It did NOT work!!

Posted by: ScienceGeek at July 1, 2011 3:14 AM

Hey! That's some bullshit right th... Hello? Other 'Guys'?.... WHAT? You said the 1st! "We meet on the 1st with all the other guys and we protest" you said. Damnit you guys. Now what am I going to do?

Posted by: That Guy at July 1, 2011 4:52 AM

It's still me from just above, I just put on some glasses so my name would sound like someone else.

Posted by: That Guy with the Glasses at July 1, 2011 4:52 AM

Such language!

::monocle falls from eye, shatters::

Posted by: Thither Guy at July 1, 2011 8:58 AM

"That'd be The Prince & Me, a Julia Stiles monstrosity that I loved as a pre-teen."


My long national nightmare is over! Thank you, Electric Mongoose.

*check Wikipedia*

Wow, that's really a movie?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at July 1, 2011 10:02 AM