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How, Against All Odds And Despite Wonderbread Levels Of Blandness, Is Jessica Biel Still A Thing?

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (20)



biel2.jpg

Listen, I thought I had gotten everything I wanted for Christmas then I saw this Wafflebot from the Harold and Kumar movie. Of these Five Gifts From Holiday Movies, Wafflebot is at the tippy top of my list. (First Showing)

This Fight Club T-shirt might be my new favorite thing about Fight Club. You heard me, Brad Pitt’s Abs. (Shirtoid)

Speaking of other-worldy physiques, an enterprising man is opening up an alien-themed brothel in Nevada. Listen, I’m not a huge fan of brothels myself, but I want to go to there. (GammaSquad)

It’s hard to believe these miniature fantasy photos were taken right here on earth. The marvel’s in the details. (
Laughing Squid
)

Also jaw-dropping are these 50 Best Photos Of The Natural World. ()
The Big Picture

see horses!!!.jpg

I love this link katers sent me of the 20 Most Iconic Book Covers. In fact I love that cover of “Catcher In The Rye” more than the book itself. (Flavorwire)

And if you feel like wearing your love of books on your sleeve, you can get most of those covers in T-shirt or hoodie form. DO NOT GET THE HOODLESS HIPSTER SWEATSHIRTS. I beg of you. (Out Of Print Clothing)

If Leia had been wearing this revealing Boba Fett costume, the jig would have been up much sooner, methinks. (Fashionably Geek)

Something tells me that last link provides the answer to my Jessica Biel question. It’s her sparkling T and winning A that make up for the lack of personality, yes? Actually, Biel is quite nice, I’ve seen her in action. She’s just…so…BORING on screen. The GFY take us on a sartorial tour of Biel’s career. (
Go Fug Yourself
)

You know what’s not boring on screen? “Doctor Who.” The Blogess promises it will change your entire world view. (Blogess)

Ah but when it comes to sci-fi TV, no one beats, well, SyFy. Click through to find out which It Girl from the 80’s will star in their next disasterbacle. (Warming Glow)

And, as it turns out, sometimes things are a little more “fy” than “sy.” (DO YOU SEE HOW THOSE ARE NOT WORDS?) The Mary Sue lists five things science got wrong this year. (The Mary Sue)

Finally, our boy Kevin McAllister gets the “Harry Potter” treatment. “Aaaaaahhhh,” indeed, Kevin.









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Comments

DO NOT GET THE HOODLESS HIPSTER SWEATSHIRTS

The what? It's a sweatshirt.

Posted by: Jay at December 28, 2011 1:52 PM

Yeah, why am I not allowed to wear sweatshirts now?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at December 28, 2011 2:01 PM

Um, her ass. It's lovely.
Kim K made a whole career out of it and she was never even in an actual movie.
So i Say yes the ass.

Posted by: daria at December 28, 2011 2:01 PM

Speaking of other-worldly physiques, an enterprising man is opening up an alien-themed brothel in Nevada.

Sounds like another sponsorship opportunity for William Shatner.

As a matter of fact, The Priceline Negotiator just booked himself a flight to Nevada.

Posted by: Jast at December 28, 2011 2:04 PM

Bugs released during an earthquake? Oh SyFy, that is *not* a new concept. I'm sure their version has nothing on Bug, a movie I saw as a child on TV, which scared the bejezus out of me! I'm not making this up. Those suckers could start fires!

Posted by: tamatha at December 28, 2011 2:10 PM

As much of a cleavage fan as I am (and I am big, big fan of cleavage), what's the point of Mandalorian armor if it doesn't even protect your heart? Now, if she reversed the cut-out pattern, that Lady Fett cosplay would be just about perfect. Unsuitable for a convention outside of those Nevada alien brothels, but at least it would make sense.

Posted by: RobP at December 28, 2011 2:32 PM

It's just to piss off hen-clucking "too kewl" college amoebae like yourselves, no doubt. Isn't there a Big Bang Theory marathon you're missing ?

Posted by: Mr. Stitch at December 28, 2011 2:45 PM

@daria: Kim Kardashian was actually in 'Epic Movie.' But I don't think that counts.

Posted by: Aislinn at December 28, 2011 3:14 PM

Thank you thank you thank you for the books on tshirts link. I just found a birthday present for a Ulysses lover. Now, fingers crossed the international air mail wouldn't get lost in transit.

Posted by: denesteak at December 28, 2011 3:28 PM

Isn't a hoodless sweatshirt a sweatshirt? And a hooded sweatshirt a hoodie? Or is a sweatshirt a hoodless hoodie? and isn't a sweatshirtless hoodie a snood?

Posted by: TheOtherGreg at December 28, 2011 3:40 PM

@daria: Kim Kardashian was actually in 'Epic Movie.' But I don't think that counts.

I said actual movie.
Jessica has at least tried.

Posted by: daria at December 28, 2011 3:50 PM

And how long is Lindsay Lohan or Kim Kardashian going to continue to have careers. It's never been about talent, not for the types of films she does.

How long is Jennifer Anniston going to be at the top of every "highest paid movie stars" list?

Jessica Beal has a great ass, a cute overbite and she's gorgeous. That's all that's required to keep her in mediocre films or telebision as long as she's got the stamina for it. They're not going to stop sending her scripts until she self-destructs or something, in which time they'll start calling her in without an audition. It's almost never about talent.

Posted by: Protoguy at December 28, 2011 3:57 PM

Jessica Biel?

Dat ass.

Posted by: Meander at December 28, 2011 4:13 PM

I really love the word "snood". (I'm also fond of actual snoods, although I don't have or wear one. I'm fond of the concept.)

Posted by: MM at December 28, 2011 4:14 PM

The Biel Butt transcends acting or personality. The Biel Butt brings bliss.

Posted by: logan at December 28, 2011 5:53 PM


you have to know that the dig at jessica biel came from a
female and should be discounted ... and how does anyone
put her in the same paragraph as kim k. jessica does have
talent and she also has a fine singing voice. you tube her and
find out.

Posted by: snake at December 28, 2011 6:40 PM

Meander:

WORD.

(word)

Posted by: firedmyass at December 28, 2011 8:18 PM

Reality: acting ability

Ideal: acting ability > ass

Jennifer Love Hewitt: acting ability = ass

Posted by: superasente at December 28, 2011 8:32 PM

Did you SEE that ass on Letterman?

No, I don't mean Paul.

Posted by: , at December 29, 2011 2:40 AM

Her scene in Chuck and Larry are the only watchable part of that film. Problem is, every time I watch it I want a sammich and a nap.

Posted by: Protoguy at December 30, 2011 4:25 AM