Horrible Racist White Lady Knows Exactly How 'That Black Football Player' Feels
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Horrible Racist White Lady Knows Exactly How 'That Black Football Player' Feels

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | February 27, 2014 | Comments ()


You guys, Paula Deen knows exactly how that “black football player” who just came out feels, and she doesn’t think it’s fair that she has certain adjectives attached to her name, either. You mean, like “black,” “gay,” or “football player”? Good lord, Paul Deen. Please know when to shut up. (Dlisted)

On Kristen Stewart’s Marie Claire cover: “While this expression is one that could easily slide into Totally Stoned, I think she’s managing to stop it right at the line of Smoldering and Sultry.” (GFY)

Ghostbusters is the greatest movie ever made about Republican economic policy. Discuss. (QZ)

I’ve clicked on this three times, and I’ve zapped the page before the moment happens every single time. I can’t force myself to watch. “Want To Watch A Reporter Swallow A River Of Her Own Snot On Live TV?” NO. I DON’T. But I’m curious. But NO. I honestly think it might make me spew. (Uproxx)

What? Robert Pattinson licks armpits? You kids with your crazy kinks! Is this like eyeball licking? Whatever happened to making out in the back of a movie theater? (Celebitchy)

Here are some swell first looks at JGL, Jessica Alba, and Mickey Rourke in Sin City 2, which is a thing that is finally actually happening. (/Film)

The antics featurd in the header image above are, according to a very reputable source, the reason for Paula Patton and Robin Thicke’s split. (New York Daily News)

Is Adam Driver the Lukas Haas of this generation? Discuss. (Unreality)

Mrs J. passed along these fake London underground signs, and they are brilliant. (Tumblr)

Likewise, this is kind of cool: A neat infographic with individual icons representing every single film to win Best Picture at the Oscars since 1927. (Beutler)

You can read a whole paragraph from George R.R. Martin’s forthcoming Winds of Winter. Nice job, George! Just 3,000 more paragraphs to go! (WG)

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Maddy

    I can't believe I'm so desperate for The Winds of Winter that I couldn't restrain myself from reading that paragraph. At least the show is back soon

  • Robert Sanchez III

    Kristen Stewart looks fuckin hilarious on that cover.

  • Zirza

    Having been to London over the weekend I can tell you that there is no Submarine to Somalia at Tottenham Court Road, although Hell does describe it pretty accurately.

  • Coolg82

    I think the Ghostbuster thing is funny. Granted, Republicans would probably not like the regulation part of it, but they would probably want the machine turned off because it was an affront to God and it was keeping people from Heaven or Hell. So it would have been turned off anyway by a fucking prick, except instead of being shut off for misguided public protection reasons, it would be shut off because some asshole decided that he wanted to impose his religion on what is a private organization because he didn't like their beliefs. Same ending, different reason.

  • manting

    There are 3 or 4 entire chapters from WoW online. http://www.georgerrmartin.com/...

  • el_mediocre

    Every time I see George R.R. Martin, I'm reminded of the "See My Vest" musical number by Mr. Burns.

  • Lloyd_The_Bartender

    see my loafers ? Former gophers !

  • Aaron Schulz

    It was that or skin my chauffeurs,
    But a greyhound fur tuxedo
    Would be best

  • e jerry powell

    "Good lord, Paul Deen. Please know when to shut up."
    What fun would that be for the rest of us?

  • DrSarCaustic

    Fun fact: the technical term for an armpit fetish is 'axilism'.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Is that where Axe body spray got its name...?

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Axillary refers to the armpit. Which I've always found weird-ish, but whatever floats your boat, Latin.

  • NateMan

    Kristen Stewart: Exactly as smouldering and sultry as a dead catfish.

  • e jerry powell

    At least I can fry up and eat a dead catfish.

  • Mrs. Julien

    You know, technically...

  • lowercase_ryan

    Says Frank Miller of Jessica Alba "She is eight times the actor [that she was] when I did the first film."

    *bites tongue*


  • manting

    8x0 is still 0

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    That...isn't a compliment...is it?
    If it's an intentional burn though, I'm going to have to give Mr. Miller a slow clap, because it's dig worthy of Bette Davis.

  • What the f&ck is up with releasing a) one paragraph, and b) that one. As one of grad school professors would say, 'That's as near to nothing as the law allows, and the law's liberal.'

    George, I will come to Santa Fe and make you sit there and write. I won't like yet, but you're a twisted bastard and may just find it sweet.

  • Stephen Nein

    jeebusbakedinnacracker, that Ghostbusters article is steaming pile of undergraduate-missing-the-point.

  • manting

    I liked it and im as liberal as they come. Here's my favorite explanation of the subtext of a movie. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • Yes, really off the mark. The author of the piece must have been speechwriter for Tim Pawlenty. Heyo!

  • dizzylucy

    Yes, when I think of someone bravely deciding to come out publicly, in an industry not known for its open mindedness, I instantly am reminded of poor Paula Dean, struggling under the heavy cross of her own bigotry and stupidity, with only her millions of dollars to wipe away her buttery tears.

  • Stephanie

    Indeed. I love it when people cry about their hardships when they brought every bit of it on themselves.

  • Tinkerville

    3,000 paragraphs? This is George we're talking about. Make that 3,000,000,000.333 continuing of course.

  • Salad_Is_Murder

    Honestly, I've given up hope that sack is going to finish anything anymore. I'm just hoping the guys in charge of the HBO can see it through to the end.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    It must be horrible to be a celebrity like Paula, Alec and The Beef -- you are constantly the victims of vast conspiracies cooked up by the poors to bring you down!
    Seriously though, did all the publicists die? Isn't there someone that could keep this woman's mouth shut? Did no one stop her and say, "hey, maybe don't say that, EVER."?

  • Mrs. Julien

    [preening] I've still got it.

  • BlackRabbit

    What, no "Talbot Way" or "Full Moon Junction"?

  • thatsmrsnyder

    "Let's see... What should I talk about to take people's minds off the fact that I'm a terrible racist? That's it: the gays!"

    -Paula Deen, probably.

  • Dumily

    Uh oh, does that mean the Lukas Haas is no longer the Lukas Haas of this generation? Because I'm old.

  • TK

    " It’s like that black football player who recently came out. He said, ‘I just want to be known as a football player. I don’t want to be known as a gay football player.’"

    He probably doesn't want to be known as just a "black football player" either, you ignorant lackwit.

  • Dumily

    We need to bring back Eloquent Eloquence for this comment alone.

  • letsspoon

    Exactly - missing the sentiment of his statement COMPLETELY.

    I first read your comment as "you ignorant twat" and then was saddened this was not the case. Because not only do I greatly enjoy the word, but it's also so very fitting. So, In conclusion, Paula Deen: STFU you dumb TWAT.

  • TK

    She's really just a step away from calling him "that colored boy".

  • e jerry powell

    That far?

    It's like Elaine Stritch said, they just hear it.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Exactly. Who plays with a black football anyway? Borrrring.

    I'm more of a red and blue football player myself.

  • anikitty

    Does Paula Deen have a publicist to help her with her comeback? If she wants the fire to go out (and it probably already has) why re/ignite it by mentioning a black football player at all?

  • Kim Voeks

    She does have a PR person. It's Olivia Pope. Actually, it's Judy Smith, the inspiration for Olivia Pope. As this is playing out, I'd say Olivia Pope's reputation for solving problems is overrated. All it would take is a frequent advisory to say "No comment." to help Deen out.

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