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Hey Summer, Where Ya Been? Rachel Bilson Emerges From Obscurity To Frolic With Her Undeserving Boyfriend

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (48)



dating-hayden-christensen-rachel-bilson.png

Things were a little fuzzy last week, my darling navels. . .a bit slippery, my dearest nipp-um-nippers. But retox has run its course so from here on out it’s clear eyes, full hearts, no booze (during the day). In fond reminiscence of my week-long debauch, I give you this infographic of film’s greatest partiers. I’m not sure if I agree whole-heartedly with the list, but I will say this, “Tonight, at the P. Love, everyone gets laid.” (Coed Magazine)

This is for all you Cleveh Gehls (and Boys) out there. Film School Rejects has launched a great new series with Make-Up Effects Artist Shannon Shea (of Jurassic Park, Evil Dead II and Predators fame). Check it out, film nerds! (Film School Rejects)

Speaking of effects, did you all see the new Clash of The Titans? Was it a CGI-sore? Was the Kraken stupid looking? I hope not, mess with the Kraken, you get the bothria. (Woot)

Did you know that Tennessee is pushing a bill that would ban the word “gay” from the classroom? Please take a moment to marvel at George Takei’s ingenious response. (Twitter)

Hold up, my snooty little carpet-baggers, before you write off our Southern brethren as intolerant jackholes, check out this Kentucky church’s stance on gay marriage. I’ll admit, I’m impressed. (Think Progress)

I’m not at all impressed, however, with the things I’ve found in the Guantanamo Files. I never thought the phrase “worse than you imagined” would be applied to our most notorious prison. But here it is. Worse than you imagined. (The Guardian)

Honestly, these “Doctor Who” villains pale in comparison to the real-life villainy of Guantanamo, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t duck behind the sofa should they return. (Dark Horizons)

Let’s shake the etch-a-sketch of our brains and replace evil with the sweetness and light of these stunning animated gifs. (Fast Company)

Here are three oddly related tumblrs you can peruse while you wait for that last one to load. Dads Are The Original HipstersHipster AnimalsTom Hanks Is A Lot Of Animals

This week “30 Rock” taught me that Hanks is an irrefutable A-lister. Time has released this year’s Top 100 Most Influential List and while Hanks, Clooney and Pitt aren’t on there, Mia Wasikowska is. Curiouser and curiouser. (Evil Beet)

Thankfully neither the adorable Rachel Bilson or her dreary boyfriend Hayden Christensen made it on Time’s list. Yes, yes, I know, these photos of Bilson in a bikini are highly influential on your nethers. (Celebitchy)

Speaking of tasty treats, I hope everyone had a sugar-filled Easter Sunday. Me? I’m not a huge fan of the traditional Easter candies. Peeps are disgusting and I think this video proves Cadbury Creme eggs are an unholy abomination.

Finally, my downward facing dogs and happy babies, let’s begin our week with some calming words from a yogi. Om Mani Padma F*CK.

Joanna Robinson wants someone to put Tom Hanks’ head on a Raptor body. Puh-lease? Email! Twitter!









Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance



"Game Of Thrones" - "The Kingsroad" | Mr. Smith Goes To Washington: Doctor Who, "The Impossible Astronaut"









Comments

I think this video proves Cadbury Creme eggs are an unholy abomination.

Don't make me destroy you, Robinson.

Posted by: TK at April 25, 2011 1:21 PM

I don't really have time to get through all of this. Frog and Toad are Friends are playing downtown tonight.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at April 25, 2011 1:21 PM

You and what marshmallow bird army, TK?

Posted by: Joanna Robinson at April 25, 2011 1:25 PM

Cadbury Creme Eggs are proof that Godtopus exists and He loves us very, very much. So, good day, Joanna. I SAID GOOD DAY.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at April 25, 2011 1:37 PM

I wish the people who did Lord of the Rings in Peeps would take on A Game of Thrones. That would be awesome.

Posted by: Wednesday at April 25, 2011 1:42 PM

Who needs a marshmallow bird army when one has a zombie horde at one's command? Don't mess with TK.
Besides, I've got his back on this one: Cadbury's Creme Eggs are the reason the church decided to align Easter with the old fertility festivals. Cadbury made the eggs seasonally to appeal to the celebration of pagan fertility rites and the church thought "Hmm, if we match up our new Easter idea with the time people are buying their Creme eggs, we cannot fail".

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 25, 2011 1:44 PM

Blake Lively was on that list. Time Magazine credibility = 0.

Posted by: Mel C. at April 25, 2011 1:52 PM

No no, make no mistake: Peeps are the Devil's feces. On this, we agree.

But when you speak ill of Creme Eggs, you willfully and knowingly align yourself with the forces of darkness. Woman, you go TOO FAR.

Also, I might be spending too much time with "Game of Thrones."

Posted by: TK at April 25, 2011 1:52 PM

Can I call dibs on "vacuum dessicator" as my superpower come the gamma ray apocalypse?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 25, 2011 1:53 PM

Cadbury's Creme Eggs are vile.

/Team Joanna

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at April 25, 2011 1:54 PM

SEIZE HIM.

Posted by: TK at April 25, 2011 1:56 PM

While their look was akin to an octopus mated with an STD-riddled male reproductive organ
Aaaaaaaand now I'm renting more Doctor Who...

If you want to download Kafka: The Musical (no seriously, and with David Tennant), here is a link:
http://tinyurl.com/3f5t8ew

RE: Hanksimals - CANNOT UNSEE

Posted by: Patty O'Green at April 25, 2011 1:57 PM

Aw come on, TK! Let me have ONE minion. You have so many!

Posted by: Joanna Robinson at April 25, 2011 1:58 PM

Wouldn't it be easier and cheaper to eat sweetened condensed milk straight out of the can rather than having to fuss with sticky foil and seasonal access of the creme eggs?

I prefer the Cadbury chocolate eggs with the crunchy coating, but I'm a rebel. A wild thing. I can't be tamed. Kitty can scratch.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 25, 2011 2:00 PM

If I read between the claw marks, that puts Mrs. J on Team Me. AND she has queer vacuum powers. Things are looking up.

Posted by: Joanna Robinson at April 25, 2011 2:01 PM

Cadbury Creme Eggs are evil. They make me feel sick and I have terrible self esteem after having bitten into one. Despite the fact that I know this, when they show up at the convenience store around Easter, it's really hard to avoid an egg sized chocolate candy filled with sugar.

So you guys can have your eggs and JoRo and I can stand out here on our little island with none. I'll just eat all of Peeps before she sees them. Maybe save one for some microwavin'.

RJPS (Racist-joke-post-script) JoRo sounds like a snack food that would be peddled by asian Bill Cosby.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at April 25, 2011 2:03 PM

Those GIFs are amazing. I love them.

Also, there is nothing-NOTHING-you or anyone can say that will diminish my love of the Cadbury Creme Egg. NOTHING.

Mmmm, Creme Eggs flambe.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at April 25, 2011 2:03 PM

I had to look on Wikipedia just to find out who Mia Wasikowska is. Not knocking her ability, because I haven't seen anything she's done so I wouldn't know, but how exactly is she "influential"?

Posted by: Todd at April 25, 2011 2:05 PM

Mrs Julien, I wait for those candies ALL YEAR! I eat sweets in small enough doses (and those are so rich) that a bag or two can last me the whole year.

What, I'm a freak... Leave me alone, I can demolish a jar of pickles in one sitting.

And I will almost* always be TeamJoanna.

*Still don't think Matt Smith is sexy. At all. Easter Island!

Posted by: Patty O'Green at April 25, 2011 2:06 PM

But can't we all agree that the Cadbury Minieggs are awesome?

Posted by: fracas at April 25, 2011 2:06 PM

(I mean the Mini Eggs, btw, not those Godtopus droppings wrapped in foil)

Posted by: Patty O'Green at April 25, 2011 2:08 PM

If anyone brings Cadbury Mini Eggs they are welcome. #EasterIsland

Posted by: Joanna Robinson at April 25, 2011 2:10 PM

DAMMIT, I forgot:

TEAM TK.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at April 25, 2011 2:11 PM

They make mini Cadbury Eggs? I need to get out more I guess.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at April 25, 2011 2:11 PM

Are those the ones with the crunchy coating?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 25, 2011 2:11 PM

I googled. I love those things. Cadbury Mini Eggs are my crack*.

*My crack used to be malt eggs, but I can't get the same kind here as in Canada. If anyone can get to the bulk section at The Barn for me please let me know and I'll send a cheque.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 25, 2011 2:13 PM

Cadbury Creme Eggs are proof that Godtopus exists and He loves us very, very much.

Then my guess is that the holy tentacled one must have some serious money invested in blood sugar medication research, because those shitty things will give you the 'beetus almost as quickly as mainlining Pixy Stix.

Posted by: branded at April 25, 2011 2:15 PM

I prefer a Buttery Nipple.

I shoplifted a Cadbury Creme Egg once.

Posted by: Jay at April 25, 2011 2:19 PM

It's all about the Robin's Eggs. The rest of that schmay can just fade away...

Posted by: McSquish at April 25, 2011 2:25 PM

I'll send a cheque

Ha ha ha, what a quaint spelling of check. You must be a foreigner or something.

I'm on neither Team Cadbury Egg nor Team Peep, but I would never think to deny either team their various sugary pleasures.

Posted by: MM at April 25, 2011 2:37 PM

Cadbury's Creme Eggs are the Faberge eggs of this generation. Works of Art. They will be in museums some day.

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 25, 2011 2:38 PM

Even though I can no longer consume Easter candy (or, any processed sugar) without dreadful retribution from my bowelular region, I never cared for the stuff to begin with. Especially anything with the name "Cadbury" on it. Gross.

I'll just have my sugar-free peanut butter cups* and let the rest of you fight it out.

* They're getting better. Seriously.

Posted by: RobP at April 25, 2011 3:04 PM

TEAM CADBURY
i guess team TK by association. grumble.
Sugar filled chocoeggs FTW
#hadoneforbreakfast
#notevenkidding

Posted by: Ian at April 25, 2011 3:16 PM

Listen to Paddydog, for she is very wise.

Miss von Beav as well.

The rest of you lot are worthless swine.

Posted by: TK at April 25, 2011 3:19 PM

Some day, Mr. Christensen and I will have the pastiest baby ever.

Posted by: Sofia at April 25, 2011 3:26 PM

When it comes to Easter candy, I am an equal opportunity consumer. Peeps? Love 'em! Cadbury Creme Eggs? Fondantacular! Cadbury Mini Eggs? Well, as a matter of fact, I have an open bag next to me right now . . .

Posted by: jimbob at April 25, 2011 3:37 PM

I'll hoist the colors of the Robinson Army. And while I have no super powers to contribute I will offer the services of my Orbital Solar Death Ray to melt all those filthy eggs into the puddles of sludge they truly are. Just the thought of them makes my gag reflex lurch.

I have neither appreciation nor hatred for Peeps, though. I've never had one. But I do get a kick out of those Peeps Wars where you put two of them in the microwave and see which one explodes first.

Posted by: lubeg at April 25, 2011 4:03 PM

Ladies and gentlemen, put those Clark Kent rumors to rest. I have discovered Superman's secret identity and it is lubeg.

(Actually, it might be Batman that had the orbiting death ray. I don't remember exactly.)

I can picture PaddyDog in an Indiana Jones get up right now snatching eggs before consumers carelessly devour them.
"It belongs in a MUSEUM!"

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at April 25, 2011 4:15 PM

Peeps are fowl in general, it is true, but there exists a yummy unicorn of Peepdom.

My freshman year of college I lived with a chocoholic. On days-after-holidays we would rush to the United grocery store and destroy their candy sales. November 1st found us scouring through gummy mummies and the only candy more loathesome than Cadbury Creme Eggs (candy corn), when we stumbled across Peeps: Chocolate Bats.

Curiosity convinced us to purchase them. Once back at her boyfriend's apartment we indulged.

Three hours later we awoke in a field wearing paisley sun dresses and getting our hair braided by woodland creatures. I shall never forget to wonder that filled our hearts and taste buds.

I've searched for them ever since, but those elusive sugar-balloons remain a cold case.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at April 25, 2011 4:32 PM

Socrates_Johnson:

I did once keep one for a year to see how durable they are (you've probably heard how Michael Pollan has a five-year old Twinkie on his desk that hasn't deteriorated in the slightest). Sadly the Cadbury Creme egg has more real cocoa solids than you might think and the chocolate went a little grey over time. The fondant center fared better but was thicker and less runny than a fresh one. But in the right lighting in a pleasant corner of the Smithsonian or the Bodleian, no-one would ever know.

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 25, 2011 5:42 PM

The gingerbread men Peeps at Christmastime are the best. I don't know what exact flavor they're trying to impart, but it's crazy delicious. The chocolate-covered Peeps are...not good. Not good at all.

Peeps are sugar-covered marshmallows. How can you really go wrong?

Posted by: Wednesday at April 25, 2011 5:57 PM

how to make a peep goddam delicious:

1. blast the grainy lil fucker with a kitchen torch
2. smoosh it betwixt a graham cracker and a couple ingots of hershey's special darkness
3. cram it down yo neck

magic. MA. GIC.

i am agressively indifferent to the cadbury eggs.

Posted by: firedmyass at April 25, 2011 8:33 PM

Team Cadbury, always. Coronaries and all.

Also, Bilson is not doing it for me. She looks like a Gremlin.

Posted by: BalladofMaxwellDemon at April 25, 2011 10:37 PM

Team Cadbury forever. If for no other reason than they make these cookies possible: http://www.ourbestbites.com/2009/04/cadbury-egg-cookies/. (Not sure if it's within posting etiquette to add a link like this, but they're worth it.)

Posted by: Tits McGee at April 25, 2011 11:54 PM

Team Joanna, Cadbury Creme Eggs are disgusting. DISGUSTING!

The Caramel Eggs, however, are like heaven in my mouth.

Posted by: Even Stevens at April 26, 2011 1:21 AM

"It's Okay To Be Takei"

Oh this has GOT to be made into a t-shirt! It would make a shitton of money. People would wear it even if they didn't get the joke or not. Plus can you imagine the Westboro Baptist Church Hate Clan facing down an army of people wearing this at one of their hate rallies?

George is a master of using humor against bigotry and intolerance. This is just the latest.

Posted by: bleujayone at April 26, 2011 10:57 AM

TK

Bite me.

Posted by: worthless swine at April 26, 2011 10:54 PM

Syphilis and STD's need to be controlled

Posted by: Syphilis Sucks at June 10, 2011 6:48 PM