Have A Drink. Heck, Have A Pair. It's National Bourbon Day.
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Have A Drink. Heck, Have A Pair. It's National Bourbon Day.

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | June 14, 2012 | Comments ()


Before any of you sticklers start hollering at me for using a Johnny Walker ad on Bourbon Day, take a moment and pour yourself a drink. It doesn't matter so much now, does it? (The Awl)

According to some, this photo was taken at Disneyland. I'm not enough of a pro to identify The Happiest Place On Earth based on cobblestones, but I will say this. If this is true, that place just got a whole lot happier. (It Makes No Sense)

And for all of you Twilight fans, here are the first few photos of the last installment in this batsh*t franchise. Before you defend the series, explain to the rest of us how the "courtship" scene below is not extraordinarily creepy. (The Mary Sue)

If you fear bees (THE BEES AAAAGHHH THE BEEEEES), do not, I repeat do NOT click on this link. Apparently part of the bee gets left behind when it stings yooeeeeuughhh. (The High Definite)

If you pay some dude enough money, he will come to your apartment, watch you have sex and tell you what you're doing wrong. Attractive Pajibans! I will do that for free!

And speaking of in flagrante delectables, P.T. Anderson breaks down the 10 movies that inspired Boogie Nights. It's not what you think... (Neon)

And for your mid-week dose of schadenfreude, here is an extensive gallery of celebrity drunkfaces. Most of them just look sleepy with a side of vomit. Awww, celebrities. They really ARE just like me. (Buzzfeed)

This is not strictly a Prometheus link...it's a list of the best Evil Corporations in cinematic history. I have shirts for at least three of them. (Movies)

Speaking of nerdy shirts, enjoy this Hitchiker's homage. (Shirtoid)

But the nerdiest of all has to be this amazing Crossbow Project T-shirt for all you Real Genius fans. (Found Item Clothing)

Did you know that one of the reasons the Pledge Of Allegiance was drafted was to sell American flags to schools? Ahhh, commerce. (Mental Floss)

Dustin is conducting a little poll over on Warming Glow to determine who you think is most likely to kick ze bucket in the final season of Breaking Bad. My vote? Everyone. (WG)

If you had told me in high school that Matthew Lillard would end up being the Scream cast member I most admire, I never would have believed you. But read this interview about his film Fat Kid Rules The World and tell me you're not a fan. (Y Pulse)

Finally, I admit this video is super sappy, but I can't help but love it. And now, strangely, I want a Coke. Ahhh, commerce.

The Pajiba 10 -- For Your Consideration: Paula Patton | Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Does this mean it's okay to tag "Peace!" on the walls of Coca Cola's offices and vending machines now?

  • So you only want to watch attractive Pajibans having sex? Where does that leave the rest of us? What vetting procedures do you use - how do you tell what's attractive? Should we send you a pic first?

    Aha! I think I know where all those self shot mirror in the bathroom pics come from now...

  • zeke_the_pig

    It ALWAYS matters if it's Johhny Walker.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    At least it's the Black Label. At the very least it's scotch.

  • dewdney

    Coke. Coke gets me every single time. Sappy goodness.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    If you fear bees (THE BEES AAAAGHHH THE BEEEEES), do not, I repeat do
    NOT click on this link. Apparently part of the bee gets left behind
    when it stings yooeeeeuughhh.

    You didn't know this? The bee usually dies afterwards because of the injury.

    Also: You know your beverage sucks when you have to drink it with ice.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Well, I for one am terribly disappointed in the otherwise formidable JR. This is about the 12th instance of nerd-fail in recent weeks. WTF?

    Wasn't everybody raised on National Geographic specials, with moving picture footage of the little bee-parts, glands still attached, pumping, pumping, pumping away over that detached documentary narration ... with the pauses ... so you can watch. The stinger comes off so when you swat the bee away, all the venom still gets delivered.

    Wasps and hornets use their stingers for feeding, so theirs operate differently.

  • mb

    That's not Disneyland in that picture. Or Downtown Disney. Not sure why anyone thought it was...because there's a child present? I suppose there's some childish "teehee being risque in a theme park!" joy to the idea of it being Disney, but please, it's a stupid plastic costume whose brand is most likely lost on most of the folks passing by. It's no Flash Mountain.

  • bleujayone

    *hic....ahhh hoooo

    When I f-f-f-ound ooooowt it waaahs Nationaal BURP-Bourbon Day, Aaaah must sah-sayyeee I was absolutely deeeeeee-light-Ted. Which reminds me I needs toooo get some vod-vodka later as well.

    I am currrr-rentlee working on my f-fit-er fifth a fifth of....no fifteenth...no number five B-Belvedier...er...Bom-ded-dee-bombardier...no....ah...Boulevar...Boulevar...fuck it...Bouuurbon Negroni, bu-hit I wonder w-hi they call it that since there's no pahhhhstah in it. Whaht a won-Wonderful drink that it is. The peepholes of Ten-sensi gotta....re-REAL good thing with this.

    In conc.. in concl...as´╗┐ I leave yoooouuu...with thisssss nugget of wishdom...Deshpite alllllll the boooooooze I've pah-p-poOUNDED down in the last ha-hou-errrr, I can shtilll say that I.... still wouldn't bUMP UGH-Leees with Snooki if my dick deadpanned dead on it.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Comment, comment, post, post.
    Ahhh, that's the stuff.

  • emmelemm

    You can't possibly imagine how happy this makes me.

  • Tinkerville

    I don't know what soul-selling shenanigans you had to do to get through that impenetrable firewall, but I'm glad you did it. Welcome back.

  • Mrs. Julien

    God bless you. My absence is KILLING ME!
    (I just had to log in from home)

  • Forbiddendonut

    I really don't have anything to add here other than "yay!"
    Randomly, Disqus is working from work again.

  • Skyler Durden

    Yay bourbon! No rich women on diets up in here!

  • lowercase_ryan

    consolidated responses:
    - not a chance in hell that's Disneyland. That place is the tightest and most image conscious ship in the world. You couldn't get that costume in the gates, sorry.
    - Courtship as in that 'ship should land someone in court (Ms. Meyers please).
    -did you really not know that about bees? you need to get out and get stung young lady
    -speaking of getting stung, I was going to make a joke about being careful, on any other website the requests for you to coach a one man show would be rolling in by now.
    - Fat Kid Rules the World looks really really good. I think I've always had a little man crush on Mathew Lillard. I love celebs that don't take themselves too seriously.
    -and done.

  • AngelenoEwok

    Now I'm craving the bourbon iced tea we drank at my wedding. Goshdarnit.

  • fpkillkill

    has no bourbon. Fuck it. Opens the tequila.

  • Judge Holdenmynuts

    National Bourbon Day.... fuck! all i have is some Maker's at home, and I've already been to BevMo once this week....
    what in thee hell do i do now????

  • L.O.V.E.

    That is some top shelf nectar right there.

    (The fact that no bourbon is present in that picture is of no importance.)

  • John G.

    Oh My God! That picture of Jacob and Renesmee is sooooo creepy. You know that they are supposed to be together in the books, right? And they actually put that fucked up shit in the movie? They have her sitting on his lap? That's some creepy crazy mormon "bound for all eternity" bullshit right there, Stephenie Meyer.

  • James

    Confirmed at 6th and Trinity in Austin. Fleshlight is based in Austin

  • Boogie Nights - the "Singin' In The Rain" of porn. Heh. I get it.

  • No way that pic was taken at Disney. Just the fact that it's not a Disney product is sufficient, but - FLESHLIGHT? C'mon, at least ONE security guy would have recognized that.

  • DarthCorleone

    I might be recalling incorrectly, but I could have sworn that I read a while back that Anderson said he borrowed the idea for the firecracker scene from a specific film. It's not on that list, though. Does anyone know this, or am I imagining it?

  • TheOtherGreg

    What kind of life path results in being a spokesmodel for Fleshlight? One's a plastic substitute for a real woman, the other's a Fleshlight.

  • branded_redux

    ::pours regular midday cocktail::

    Oh? It's National Bourbon Day? In that case, cheers already!

  • BierceAmbrose

    I call shenanigan - mega-corp captive-market shenanigans oppressing the new-tech masses of techno-craftsnerds & etc. - on that corpocracy list.

    Blue Sun, anyone?
    Tyrell corp?
    TPC? (The President's Analyst.)
    CCA, owners of UBS? (Network.)

    And what's with limiting it to movies. Nobody escapes ZikZak.

  • AngelenoEwok

    I wish I could give you ALL THE UPVOTES for mentioning Tyrell.

  • TheOtherGreg

    I hope one of those shirts is for Yoyodyne Propulsion Systems.

  • Guest

    I love you. Because I actually have a Yoyodyne Propulsions shirt.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Bourbon day! Normally I'm a scotch drinker, but I'm in. I like the Knob Creek (not a euphemism)

    I thought that bee thing was well known - that's the whole "bees don't WANT to sting you, because they die after they do". (btw, not true of @#*&! wasps) Amazing photo though. A mini insect snuff film.

    Let me guess...Anderson is going to claim Altman as an inspiration [clicking on link to see...]

  • Awww, that Coke commerical was cute...I hate it when they do that>.>

  • fracas

    Definitely not Disneyland. Look at the garbage cans and street signs and buildings in the background. At Disneyland everything is stylized and pristine, and totally fake. That is a real street someplace.

  • Dumily

    Regarding the Fleshlight post, I'm sorry to disappoint, but that's the corner of 6th and Trinity in Austin. Still effed up though.

  • Jezzer

    Yeah, according to The Google Machine, Fleshlight is headquartered in Austin.

  • I believe that is Downtown Disney in that terribly inappropriate photo, aka the place with all the liquor and none of the educational content.

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