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Happy Fat Tuesday, My Little Babe-raham Lincolns

By Courtney Enlow | Pajiba Love | February 12, 2013 | Comments ()


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Hello, my tender lovemuffins. We are blessed with two fancy days today:

1.) Today is Mardi Gras, aka, Fat Fucking Tuesday, aka, Melissa McCarthy Day if you're Rex Reed because that guy can fuck himself. But don't worry, you guys--it's okay that he called her a "female hippo" because some of his best friends are bla fat. [Crushable]

2.) Today is Abe Lincoln's birthday. As someone born and raised in Springfield, IL, I know a thing or two about Abra-booboo, so it's a very special day to me and my peeps on the plains. This is old, but here are some outstanding photos of Lincoln being flawless with flawless hair. [Mental Floss]

Is our former president not your favorite Lincoln? RACIST. Here's an interview with your SECOND favorite Lincoln, Andrew, not knowing what an iPad is called because he's adorable. [AdWeek]

Little Adeline thrashing to Bad Brains warms my heart cockles [as I write this, I'm attempting to throw horns and somehow turn them into a heart shape and I might break my fingers] and she is the child my Metallica-adoring mom desperately hopes mine becomes. [Gawker]

HuffPo has a list of the worst foods for your heart. Your mission: eat ALL OF THEM today because it's Fat Fucking Tuesday (see above). [HuffPo]

If that doesn't sound appetizing (UNAMERICAN) then how about you just skip ahead to Valentine's Day and enjoy some wine and chocolate. BUT DON'T DO IT WRONG BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN DOING IT WRONG. Sigh. So many nights I'd sit alone and eat Dove dark chocolates and drink red wine and not only was it sad, it was incorrect. Here are the proper pairings for delicious treats. [Serious Eats]

Here's a gallery of noir superhero posters and these are AWESOME. [Unreality]

With sexy, sexy promises like "Walking is quite a popular activity in the summer" no wonder the Finland tourism industry is booming! [The Hairpin]

Jessica Chastain gets asked about rumors that she hates Jennifer Lawrence, and answers in the best way possible. She is a superior being. [Celebitchy]

"Psych" is canceled?! :( Aw, it's my favorite show I largely ignore and don't really keep up with. [Uproxx]

Finally, do you want to share a hilarious viral video with all your friends, but you're friendless and make questionable hair decisions, so you need to share them with your co-workers? DO THESE THINGS. [Clipnation]



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Nicolae

    Happy Mardi Gras!

  • Because my state has elections today, I'm not going to take part in Mardi Gras or really much of anything else because I got to work at 8 and I'm going to be really, really lucky if I get to leave before midnight. And it's snowing out and I'm missing that, too. I hope everyone is having fun on my behalf.
    Or at least someone.
    Anyone?

  • Siege

    Lincoln's hair in that "life-mask" photo is distinctly Walt Goggins-esque.

  • googergieger

    My second favorite Lincoln is the car. My first is the dude from the Mod Squad. Think we all know why.

  • Bert_McGurt

    I realize this is sort of like saying "cats are furry" or "Lindsay Lohan is a poor decision-maker", but that wine blogger sounds incredibly pretentious. I mean, what she says kind of makes sense, but her overly aggrandizing statements like "(this) is never going to truly taste good" kind of overlooks the part where PEOPLE DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE THIS WAS A F*CKING PROBLEM AND THEY PROBABLY ENJOYED IT FINE UNTIL YOU JUST RUINED IT, RUINER!

    It's just booze, people. If you want to pair your Ants on a Log with bourbon? Rock the f*ck on. Gin and Cheerios? That's a "Queen's Breakfast"! Dom Perignon and a hot dog? Congratulations, you've made it to Joaquin Phoenix's dressing room!

  • Are you kidding? Maybe it's because I spend my days around wine people, but that was nothing. Maybe a 2 out of 10 on the pretentious scale. I've met beer people that are worse than that.

    Also proper pairings make really do make a difference. You're free to enjoy whatever with whatever and god bless you if it makes you happy. I'll grill some chicken and drink a porter so thick and rich it crushes the flavor by comparison. That said when I'm drinking a bottle of Voodoo Donut Maple Bacon Ale from Rogue, you bet your ass I'm eating it with a big plate of pancakes. Bowl of chili? Chocolate stout works perfect along side. You should give it a shot before you dismiss.

  • TheAggroCraig

    I don't trust wine reviewers in general. No normal person uses the word "redolent".

  • JJ

    "Dammit, I broke my promise to give up wine and chocolate for the forty days preceding Easter. Can I have a redolent?"

    Although to your point, I never claimed to be normal.

  • In honor of Mardi Gras, here's a video of Mitch Landrieu, the mayor of New Orleans, getting down this morning. Gosh, I love my hometown. :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • Green Lantern

    Katie - Aww I knew there was a reason I liked you, besides having a few things in common with many of your posts.

    Are you with the rest of us funky Pajibs on FaceSpace? If so, HIT MEH!

  • Green Lantern

    (oh and Happy Gras, Katie!)

  • Thanks! You, too. :)

  • You can find me on twitter @katie71483

  • love it

  • emmelemm

    Do not shit-talk Finland, or I will cut you. All of you.

    PS Finland is lovely. (And weird.)

  • lowercase_ryan

    Those posters are amazing aaaaaaaaand a pain in the ass to try to buy. Why does this always seem to be the case with clever modern pop-culture art type stuff?

  • Green Lantern

    Because the world hates nerds. Still.

  • anikitty

    The Pysch cancellation hurts my heart.

  • TK

    That little girl certainly dances with the quickness.

    GET IT?

    Anyone?

    Anyone at all?

    Shit.

  • emmelemm

    I did. I got it.

  • John W

    When I saw that video of Adeline my first thought was did she know what dancing was, did she learn it from her parents or did some primordial instinct just kick in and she just started moving her body to the music.

    My favorite part is when she says "Turn it up." Yes ma'am.

  • A wide variety of roles all played well; picture perfect looks; a smile to base a system of geometry on; and now a thoughtful, on-point critique of the media... Her Chastain-ness does seem almost TOO perfect at this point. Where's the catch?

  • Natallica

    If you look at her from certain angles, when she opens her eyes like WIDE, she kind of looks like Steve Buscemi. That's the catch

  • She's not with either of us?

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