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Guess Which Hollywood Hack Is Putting His Hands All Over The Khaleesi's Dragons

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | September 25, 2012 | Comments ()


90703468-emilia-clark.jpeg

Rumor has it that Ms. Emilia Clarke is dating...drumroll...Seth MacFarlane. RIGHT?! Oh, listen, it's none of my business who she dates and yeah, sure, I liked Ted better than I thought I would. But, I mean, you have to admit, it's a downgrade from her totally fictional, dead husband. (Celebitchy)
khaleesi.jpeg

Have you seen this Ostrich Pillow design? Would you ever actually, really, truly put this on your head in public? Me, I'd rather drool on an impromptu pillow made out of my book than sport this thing. (Laughing Squid)

Plus, guys, if you're wearing that stupid Ostrich Pillow on the plane, how are you gonna gawk at Iceland out the window? What, you've never gawked at Iceland before? (This Is Colossal)

The beauty of JK Rowling promoting her upcoming book, "The Casual Vacancy," is that we get awesome, unrelated batsh*t quotes like this: ""I had a lot of real-world material in me, believe you me. The thing about fantasy -- there are certain things you just don't do in fantasy. You don't have sex near unicorns. It's an ironclad rule. It's tacky." Truth? I love that statement more than all the Harry Potter books combined. (TMS)

Hey you, yeah you over there with the travel mug bong, you can win a free copy of Cabin In The Woods and a poster signed by Drew Goddard. Get to clickin'! (Bleeding Cool)

Riddle me this. Why isn't this here poster the official Obama campaign image? (DA)
obama_riding_a_lion_poster_by_sharpwriter-d5ftzex.jpeg

Here's some news to set your plaque-ridden hearts a-palpitatin'. There will be a world-wide bacon shortage this year. You heard me. So stock your freezers now...fuel the panic. (Gothamist)

Hey, Hollywood, you cast exactly the badass chick I wanted in that all-lady Expendables movie. Good job, you! (Daily Blam)

Also well done, American public. Interest for the "Today Show" is on the wane. That's because you're a d*ck, Matt Lauer. (WG)

But, very badly done, Hollywood. You've let the concept of a Mummy reboot live. You've even hired a director. It's too soon, Hollywood. TOO SOON. I STILL REMEMBER WHAT YOU DID TO RACHEL WEISZ'S EYEBROWS. (TMS)
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Finally, via the sterling chaps at Unreality, here's Andy Serkis reading "The Hobbit" as Gollum.

Joanna Robinson doesn't really understand the Emilia Clarke as Morticia Addams trio up there. But she's for it.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Emmet O'Cuana

    Isn't the unicorn thing because it's meant to be a virginity metaphor anyway, so you're just pissing off the poor wee beastie stuck with being identified as a chastity belt on four legs.

  • I dunno...I think Seth MacFarlane playing Khal Drogo would've been a hell of a thing.
    'Moon of my life, I just, like, totally farted! Sorry about that. Where was I? Oh yeah - a crown fit for a kin-..! Holy shit! Decepticons!'

  • Mrs. Julien

    it’s a downgrade from her totally fictional, dead husband
    Most things are.

  • Candee

    Oh man, I thought you were gonna say Terry Richardson. But then I read that and was relieved for a split second.

  • Jannymac

    Did anyone look at the...uhh...ostrich pillow? It looks sooo womb like...and I mean that in a completely literal sense. So you are sticking your head inside a womb...which sounds far dirtier than it looks, but still...

  • BierceAmbrose

    Riddle me this. Why isn’t this here poster the official Obama campaign image?

    Because they don't do irony. On purpose, I mean.

  • Judge Holdenmynuts

    anyone else notice this awesome typo: " Gina Carano, former Mixed Marital Arts competitor"

    i laughed ...

  • John W

    As Tara would say: Oh hell no Khaleesi!

  • This is all so depressing, I want to create a SWAT team to round up all these beautiful young things and keep them away from the bottom feeders and random penises. But then I remember that this is the story of Hollywood, there is no other story, and that unicorns are dead.

  • space_oddity

    That Obama picture rivals in awesomeness the drawing of Ronald Reagan, George Washington, and Jesus riding on a unicorn that a student gave me a couple years ago.

  • We need to see that unicorn drawing...seriously.

  • Tinkerville

    It still makes me unspeakably angry that they're remaking one of the greatest cheesefests of all time. Nothing beats the epic CGI Frasier-ness of The Mummy.

  • YES. I loved that first movie. And he looked so, soooo good in it.

  • Agreed. It was one of my favorite dvd lullabies back in the day. I'd always fall asleep on couch while watching and awake to my mother complaining that the dvd menu music was driving her crazy. As soon as she left, I'd press play again and drift back into dreamland. That film made me love Rachel Weisz forever, y'all. No lie.

  • Salieri2

    "It's still...juicy."

  • BabyBearStrikesAgain

    No, no no. I refuse to believe that's a picture of Rachel Weisz. What did the DO to her face!?!

  • I know! I keep staring at it and it looks less and less like her. What mad sorcery is this?!?

  • Slash

    Emilia up there looks disturbingly like Miley Cyrus. Look.

    Now you can't unsee it.

  • You sonofabitch

  • Snath

    She is SO much more attractive as a brunette.

  • celery

    Her and Cersei both! It's so sad to me that their blondness is actually relevant to the plot.

  • If some of the brunette pictures of her weren't labeled I would have NO idea who she was. The blonde hair just completely changes her. And not really in a good way.

  • Natallica

    Emilia Clarke is HOT HOT HOT as a brunette. But then, she's also HOT HOT HOT with her white Daenerys hair. So, the thing is, you get twice the hot on the same package. It's called "the Tom Hiddleston special".

  • Snath

    Between yesterday and today, you're definitely right about having a healthy sense of adventure when it comes to the ladies.

  • googergieger

    I knew Macfarlane was rich, but not hire this expensive a beard, rich.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    That's not the official image of Obama's campaign because, clearly, that lion is Aslan and The Right won't let anyone fucks with their Jebus allegories. Also because Muslim foreigner anti-Christs don't know how to ride lions.

  • Only a 1%-er could afford a lion. I, myself, get by with a large rat I have made a mane for using cat hair. rawr.

  • Maguita NYC

    I thought the official communist animal was the Panda...

  • Besides, what I really want to know is, does the lion sound like Liam Neeson?

  • fracas

    I thought all Kenyans could ride lions.

    (totally kidding)

  • erich

    Better Seth McFarlane than Brett Ratner or McG.

  • Natallica

    Or, God help us, Michael Bay. That would make me think Drogo's death really affected her. Oh, wait... was that fiction?

  • lowercase_ryan

    oh jesus christ, that's just gross.

  • Bert_McGurt

    In other Hollywood dating weirdness, has anyone else heard the rumour that Charlize Theron is dating Eric Stonestreet (aka: Cam from Modern Family)? I'm certainly not judging, it's just very unexpected.

  • That was a crazy rumor! Stonestreet denied on twitter last week.

  • tamatha_uhmelmahaye

    It's not true. According to Stonestreet. It would seem that they've only met a couple of times.

  • lowercase_ryan

    You're totally judging.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Well, ok, maybe a little. But come on, who dates a South African?

  • TK

    Watch it, assface.

  • Salieri2

    You know, I just don't hear "assface" used out loud often enough. I'm going to work it into a conversation tomorrow.

  • TK

    (tips cap)

    We're a full service operation.

  • Snath

    Everyone knows South Africans are fucking scary and mean and write really great reviews.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Kidding! I hear it's a great place, what with its springboks and enclaves and Dave Matthewses.

  • Ms. Emilia Clarke is dating…drumroll…Seth MacFarlane. RIGHT?

    He's surprisingly handsome for a cartoon guy.

  • space_oddity

    I just imagine him doing crazy cartoon voices while they fuck, and creep myself out.

  • celery

    Ew ew ew ew ew.

  • Snath

    And the reason for his success is at least partly because of his amazing voice.

  • Brown

    It's not even the age thing. It's just the guy makes my skin crawl.

  • Blake

    If Jason Sudeikis can bag Oliva Wilde then anything is possible...

  • lowercase_ryan

    he's such a douche.

  • lowercase_ryan

    Sorry, I can't stand Jason Sudeikis. That's my opinion and I'm standing by it. Downvote away.

  • Blake

    No mention that its Donald Glover's birthday? WTF!

    http://youtu.be/LluZ7tWxsn0

    Happy Birthday Childish Gambino!

  • Bedewcrock

    Libras Unite!

    (by adding Donald Glover to the Libra contingent, I'm throwing out Gwyneth Paltrow and Avril Lavigne)

  • BWeaves

    I have audio of J.R.R. Tolkien reading "The Hobbit" and doing Gollum. It's great. He sounds a lot like Serkis, which isn't too surprising, since I'm sure Serkis listened to the same tapes.

  • John G.

    Joanna, what are you trying to do to me with those header pics? I'm gonna find some Fassbender pic you've never seen and send you a door sized poster of it.

  • Bring. It.

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