George Clooney Says He Can't Run For Political Office Because He's F*cked Too Many Chicks? Me Too, Cloons. Me Too.
I really dig this story of South Korean forces dropping leaflets about the protests in Egypt and Tunisia over North Korean soil. It seems so. . .wistful. (Reuters)
Do you ever feel, my randy little rams, like this column is a little too girlie? Well, Pissboy has sent me a wrestling-related link that is sure to butch up the place. Also, I met Rikishi in a Lyon's restaurant one time, but I'll tell you about that when I know you better. (Where's Randy Savage)
Speaking of things I'd like to wrestle, how cute is James Franco? TOO CUTE. It's only a few days until the Oscar Ceremony, so here's a handy little infographic on projected winners that might help you win C. Rob's devilishly hard quiz. I'll see you here on Oscar night, my dears, for Courtney's live blog of the ceremony. Bring Cake! (Next Round)
One Oscar story that's been buzzing around the internet is about the so-called "curse" that afflicts married/coupled actresses who win an Academy Award and then promptly lose their man. This tidy little retort says everything my feminist heart is hollering. (Flick Filosopher)
You know whose love life hasn't been afflicted by an Oscar win? Cloons. Did you read his interview in Newsweek where he claimed he "f*cked too many ch*cks" to run for office? Even when he's crassly honest, I love him. The ch*ck he is currently giving the business to is planning a big blowout for his 50th birthday. I hope there are wall-to-wall stripper cakes. (Celebitchy)
I'd buy all the stripper cakes for the hacktivist group known as "Anonymous" who took on the Westboro Baptist Church this week. Especially if this guy is actually a member. (Business Insider)
Oh but they're computer nerds, right? They'd probably prefer "Doctor Who" cupcakes. No, no, don't be silly, I won't serve them the ones with those stupid new amazing technicolor dream Daleks on them. I'm not cruel. (Flickr)
Personally, I think the P. Love drinking game should involve some rule about mentioning Star Wars. But I wouldn't want to kill you. Um, so have you seen this wicked cool series of Star Wars action figures reimagined as Western archetypes?!? There's a grammar error in the headline that hurts my teeth, but other than that this might be my favorite thing the internet gave me today. (Unreality)
But then again, today the internet gave me Nick Offerman of "Parks and Recreation" talking about the internet meme "Cats Who Look Like Ron Swanson." Money quote while describing one of the cats: "That would be Ron sitting by a burbling stream, redolent of trout." (NY Mag)
I think this "Riverdale" trailer has settled the age-old question for me. In the battle of Betty vs. Veronica, it's definitely Veronica. Or, possibly Midge. But it ain't Betty. Also, this is not safe for work probably. (The High Definite)
But it was never a battle when it came to my favorite Beatle. It was always George. Sitartastic! (Concert For George)
Check out this surprisingly well done sketch with the bullies from The Neverending Story. I always wanted a Luck Dragon of my very own, but now I'm not so certain.
Apparently this "Misery Bear" character is a long running thing at the BBC? I've never seen it before, but it cracked me up. It's almost like a cute animal video, y'all. Almost.
Joanna Robinson is ignoring the coked-up, porn star-loving elephant in the room because Dustin sort of covered it. However, in the words of Mark Lisanti: "Charlie Sheen is a national hero for getting "Two and a Half Men" off the air 8 weeks early. Let's chip in and send him a nice crack basket." Please send all crack baskets to firstname.lastname@example.org