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Forget The Pasty Abs And The Terrible Accents, This Here Is The Real Reason To Watch "True Blood"

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (34)



pamhotslutofthedaypam.jpeg

Happy Friday! Before I get to linking, one quick bit of business. Dearest, darling jubilat. Yesterday you sweetly asked for a reminder not to read this column. This is your gentle reminder, my dove. Don’t keep reading! Get out while you can! Is he/she/it gone? Okay, good, we’ve done our good deed for the day. Happy Crowdsourced Friday! One of my favorite things about It Takes A Village People Pajiba Loves is that I get to find out what sites you, my rapacious readers, enjoy. Today we start with two Mental Floss links. The first one from paultera lists several words you may not know are trademarked. Really, Jacuzzi? I guess I’ll go back to calling them Roiling Watery Stew Pots Of Human Filth And Contagion. Oh, or hot tubs. That works too. (Mental Floss)

Secondly Nat Kittyface sent in this list of historical figures who married their cousins. I don’t know if one of them can properly be called “historical” since he’s still alive, but, nonetheless, it’s a bad idea when cousins marry. (Mental Floss)

Speaking of historical romances (no not the Fabio kind), Caspar sent me this, the most unbelievably filthy thing I have ever linked on Pajiba Love. (Yes, that includes this popejenn link called, no joke, Cooking With Cum.) It’s James Joyce’s “love” letters to his lady friend and if you’ve read Joyce, you know what levels of fetid fecundity to expect. (Love Letters)

But we all know, don’t we, that love is not always sunshine and f*ckbirds. Nat Kittyface sent me this hilarious screed one young lover wrote about his girlfriend’s cat. (Something Awful)

That link was for you pet haters. This link, like Virginia, is for the lovers. Thanks to mswas for this tearjerker of a link about a missing guide dog who came back with a special gift for its owner. (The Denver Channel)

Celebitchy gives we lovers of man flesh a special gift every week with their phenomenal Hot Guy Friday. I almost threw up my hands in disgust when I saw stupid Sam Worthington and then they won me back by including my boyfriend Tony Leung (also Olyphant, Voldemort, and Neville Longhottom). See, that was going to be my featured Celebitchy link today, but then I saw this post on Kelly Brook, a model who, um, just, well, DANG. Christina Hendricks has a little (not so little) competition. (Celebitchy)

Speaking of actresses/characters I would go oh-so-very gay for, I am head over heels in love with Kristin Bauer (Pam) of “True Blood.” She has the best lines, the best costumes and puts Paquin and her ilk to shame. Here’s a great interview and, below, a photo of her shilling for one of my favorite companies, Lush. (NYMag)
Kristin Bauer posing as Pam for IFAW.jpeg

First person to say Pam looks too mannish gets a slap in the face. Speaking of mannish ladies, however, in reaction to Robert Downey Jr.’s dismal drag for Sherlock Holmes, “The Village Voice” has a great pictorial of famous film actors in drag including, I kid you not, Boris Karloff. (Village Voice)

I most assuredly do not watch “True Blood” for Vampire Bill. In fact, I would like to add his to this fanastic list of TV’s Twenty Most Punchable Faces. Oh, Nancy Grace, die in ALL the fires. (Warming Glow)

Finally, this comes from our most lovable sex-crazed poster Kballs. It’s a subliminal message in the Tangled poster. Personally, I think it’s a stretch, what say you? (Damn LOL)

This Princess Leia Slave Girl PSA comes courtesy of Optimus Rhyme. I have to agree, for my money, that Cobra Commander Baroness costume is 1000x cooler than a boring old Leia outfit.

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And, finally, compliments of Even Stevens here’s a supercut of Harrison Ford getting frantic (not tantric) about his family. Now I want to go watch The Fugitive

Joanna Robinson, much like Snickers, is guaranteed to satisfy.









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Comments

Let's agree to disagree about Vampire Bheel, but total d'accord regarding Pammy. But that photo of Steve Zahn in the 20 Punchable montage made me wanna take a little breakie-poo. I mean, it's Friday. It's aaaalmost noon here. Ammiright?

Posted by: klingonfree at July 15, 2011 2:16 PM

Not ever having read any Joyce, I did learn of his romantic filthiness by renting Nora which has a frequently naked and quite young Ewan Macgregor. (erotic, romance and Ewan Macgregor on the back of a dvd rental was all I needed. See also: Serpent's Kiss) I don't remember much about the quality of the film. Just that it is easier to enjoy with the volume turned off.

But kudos to being faithful to its source material.

Posted by: Sara Tonin at July 15, 2011 2:20 PM

But wait! There's more!

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/dailymusto/2011/06/whos_the_best_m_3.php

And be warned. Joanna's link has William Powell as William Powell should never be seen.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at July 15, 2011 2:20 PM

Not ever having read any Joyce, I did learn of his romantic filthiness by renting Nora which has a frequently naked and quite young Ewan Macgregor. (erotic, romance and Ewan Macgregor on the back of a dvd rental was all I needed. See also: Serpent's Kiss) I don't remember much about the quality of the film. Just that it is easier to enjoy with the volume turned off.

But kudos to being faithful to its source material.

Posted by: Sara Tonin at July 15, 2011 2:23 PM

that header pic is awesome

Posted by: mswas at July 15, 2011 2:25 PM

SHIRLEY YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS?!
I am serious! Now GET MY FAMILY OUT OF THERE?!


Wait...I think I said that wrong

Posted by: Nadine at July 15, 2011 2:25 PM

That's actually The Baroness.

Posted by: Jay at July 15, 2011 2:27 PM

Someone has actually said that Pam looks mannish? I find that strange. But then I'm the one that objected to Emma Watson being described as stunningly beautiful... I apparently don't understand current standards of beauty.

Posted by: snapnhiss at July 15, 2011 2:29 PM

Oh Pam. I wouldn't go gay, but I'd totally bend over and let HER spank ME. I love how dry she is, danger to Eric is the only time she gets emotional. I loooooove her. Pam and Jessica scenes make me tingle

Posted by: Laurie at July 15, 2011 2:30 PM

And is it better than Sienna Miller's?


That's a trick question. Every Baroness costume is better than Sienna Miller's.

Posted by: Jay at July 15, 2011 2:30 PM

Pam looks mannish?

She's got Man Hands.

(::slap:: --JR)

Posted by: Jay at July 15, 2011 2:31 PM

Count that James Joyce stuff as easily in the top five of things I've been most self-conscious about looking at on the Internet while at work.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at July 15, 2011 2:31 PM

Kristin Bauer is the only reason I occasionally violate my vow not to bother with Allan Ball's disgusting sensationalism.

Posted by: Sharif at July 15, 2011 2:32 PM

self-conscious about looking at on the Internet while at work.

You can scroll up and down all you like, but Pajiba page titles can really be difficult sometimes.

Posted by: Jay at July 15, 2011 2:33 PM

(Why Jay is happy he's not at work and is so OBVIOUSLY housecleaning up a storm.)

Posted by: Jay at July 15, 2011 2:34 PM

Pajiba page titles can really be difficult sometimes.

Especially Dustin's.

Posted by: snapnhiss at July 15, 2011 2:37 PM

snapnhiss, I'm with you, do NOT see the Emma Watson thing, at all, she's like...eh, she's alright I guess?

But Pam?
Pam I would fuck nine ways from sunday. Pam I would just sit and stare at trying to figure out how she can look LIKE THAT and get through a day not staring in the mirror and smiling.

Posted by: Nadine at July 15, 2011 2:42 PM

Pam is one of the few improvements the show has made from the books. They really should deviate completely and make the Pam and Eric show, dumping Bill and Sookie forever.

Posted by: John G. at July 15, 2011 2:47 PM

Characters with man hands (real or animated) that Socrates wishes he could get with:
Pam
Lana Kane
(This list is not all inclusive)

I really wish I knew how to draw a Venn Diagram in text, because that's really the best way to illustrate my point.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at July 15, 2011 2:50 PM

Hey, no love for Sam Worthington just means more of him for me. Except in that last photo - he's got a Grizzly Adams look going on that I just can't approve.


Page titles and content can be awkward indeed, but I find myself worrying that my coworkers think I'm crazy because I sit here and titter to myself all day.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at July 15, 2011 2:57 PM

Wow Venn diagrams, Princess Leias, and Barenaked Ladies references all in the same post? Mmmmm....nerdy. :-D

Posted by: NateS1973 at July 15, 2011 3:01 PM

Oh, Pam....I'm always in the mood for lesbian weirdness.

Posted by: feramones at July 15, 2011 3:29 PM

Not ever having read any Joyce, I did learn of his romantic filthiness by renting Nora which has a frequently naked and quite young Ewan Macgregor. (erotic, romance and Ewan Macgregor on the back of a dvd rental was all I needed. See also: Serpent's Kiss) I don't remember much about the quality of the film. Just that it is easier to enjoy with the volume turned off.

But kudos to being faithful to its source material.

Posted by: Sara Tonin at July 15, 2011 3:42 PM

sorry for multiple posts - kept getting 404 errors after submitting so I didn't think it was going through.

but I'm sure none of you are complaining about multiple mentions of Macgregor.

Posted by: Sara Tonin at July 15, 2011 3:45 PM

Her and Jessica. Eric gets a pass for being sex on a stick, and Lafayette for being walking awesome. Everyone else can fuck off. Except Terry, because he's one of the few sweet people on the show.

Posted by: Aislinn at July 15, 2011 4:40 PM

"but I'm sure none of you are complaining about multiple mentions of Macgregor."

He's no Sam Worthington.

Posted by: Craig at July 15, 2011 4:42 PM

That's true. McGregor actually shows up on film.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at July 15, 2011 4:56 PM

Oh yes Pam...and her lesbian weirdness! I love her so.

Posted by: Joker at July 15, 2011 7:01 PM

Sam Worthington is the blandest man in Hollywood. If he was a superhero he would be Bland-Man with the power to be totally forgettable in blockbuster movies yet inexplicably be cast in them. He's like the Shadow, he has ring that blands mens minds.

Posted by: logan at July 15, 2011 8:43 PM

You know who has a punchable face? Chevy Chase. He's just one of the many reasons (OK the biggest one) why I can't watch Community.

Also super punchable? Kim Kardashian and Seacrest.

Billy Bush I would happily, gleefully punch in the mouth. Repeatedly.

Posted by: Figgy at July 15, 2011 10:47 PM

I don't understand the inclusion of Sam Worthington either, but that list includes Hot Neville, so it gets a pass.

Posted by: Pat at July 15, 2011 11:08 PM

Pam looks too mannish!

(I'm all outta slugs. . .so lost without them. . .-JR)

Posted by: Man of Stool at July 16, 2011 8:33 AM

Oh my god, was that an Air Supply reference!?! hahaha!

Posted by: snapnhiss at July 16, 2011 1:43 PM


Keep your filthy disgusting mouth off Sam Worthington, you ugly cow! WTF is all this Sam bashing crap?! A bunch of jealous whores who never made an honest nickel, that's what! I'd say Sam is a very smart guy who should be laughing all the way to the bank.. I got something you can bite, douche bag!

Posted by: Yeah, well at July 22, 2011 12:25 AM