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For His Birthday I Gave John Cusack My Heart. I Gave Him My Heart And He Gave Me Hot Tub Time Machine

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (30)

12 John Cusack photo.jpeg

Can we please give a slow clap to Dustin for his magnificent job covering the Pajiba Love beat yesterday? I love him so, I’ll forgive him his bit of libel. (I was not recovering from “I Shouldn’t Have Chased That with Tequila Shots Con 2011,” I was recovering from “Being A Bridesmaid Is Hard, Y’all, And I Shouldn’t Have Chased That Tequila Shot With Cheap Champagne Con 2011.”) Oh, hey, what a crazy random happenstance, my first link is about smart kids being heavier drinkers later in life. Mommas, don’t let you babies grow up to be teetotalers. (The Week)

Just kidding. To all the mommas and the poppas out there, do whatever you like. Just love your kid. Oh but not too much, psychologists say that’ll mess them up for sure. Wait, what? PARENTING IS IMPOSSIBLE. (The Atlantic)

Or, maybe, we should all just relax a litte. Dave Bry has something to say to all the “reputable” news sites who are taking that adorable “Go The F*ck To Sleep” book too seriously. I agree with every asterisk in Dave’s response. (The Awl)

We all agree that books are a wonderful thing, yeah? Kids books and Adult books and Adult Adult books? Mrs. Smith sent me this Adult Adult link. I hope, my precious prudes, that the title of the link will tip you off to the potentially NSFW content of the site. (Bookkake)

It’s currently NS to W on the leaking reactor in Fukishima, Japan. That’s why several elderly Japanese citizens have volunteered for the job because they have “less risk of getting cancer and other diseases that develop slowly as a result of exposure to high levels of radiation.” Speaking of leaking, there’s something wrong with my eyes. (NYT)

I’m going to steer away from the tears and talk about tees. These stupid sites with their stupid “limited time offer” rules means I won’t be the proud owner of this Calvinball shirt. By the way, Teefury, CALVINBALL DOESN’T HAVE ANY RULES. (Tee Fury )

If I can’t have a Calvinball tee, I guess I’ll have to think of something else to get John Cusack for his birthday today? Oreo Cameos? Oh, yeah, you heard me. (Lapham’s Quarterly)

Okay, but seriously, Happy Birthday John Cusack. I’m kidding about that Hot Tub Time Machine burn, I sort of liked that movie. Must Love Dogs, on the other hand…In honor of his birthday, Movieline is trying to come up with Cusack’s best film performance. As much as I love Lloyd Dobbler, I gotta go with Grosse Pointe Blank. (MovieLine)

Martin Blank probably doesn’t have a facebook account, does he? Alas. You know who does? The Doctor that’s Who. (Did you slap your knee?) I’m going to poke him all day long. Thanks, Paultera (Doctor Whobook)

Okay, that might not be is definitely not real, but this link to Gillian Welch’s new album is. I’ve been listening to it all morning. It’s gorgeous. (NPR)

I think Gillian Welch has one of the sexiest voices of all time and when combined with Allison Krauss and Emmylou Harris…well…no mere mortal can withstand it. One of the sexiest sequences in the history of film and totally SFW to boot.

But you know your Link Wench is more romantical than bedroomantical so we close today with this sweetheart of a video shot entirely on cell phones.

Splitscreen: A Love Story from JW Griffiths on Vimeo.

Joanna Robinson realizes she’s a bit squishy today. Must be the influence of the wedding weekend. Well, you know what they say, Joanna Robinson, she’s a marshmallow.









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Comments

I've got it all figured out...If you start out depressed, everything is a pleasant surprise.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 28, 2011 1:46 PM

Cusack is one of my personal heroes, and I gotta go Martin Blank. Definitely.

Posted by: =DocDoom1= at June 28, 2011 1:49 PM

smart kids being heavier drinkers later in life.

I *told* you I was a genius! (hic!) Where's tha bottlorum?

Posted by: Paultera at June 28, 2011 1:54 PM

They loved him up and turned him into a huh-huh-huh-horny toad.

Posted by: Forever Jung at June 28, 2011 1:57 PM

You can never go home again, Oatman. But I guess you can shop there.

Posted by: Mel C. at June 28, 2011 1:58 PM

i've gotta go with Cusak as Roy Dillon in The Grifters as my fave.

Posted by: causaubon at June 28, 2011 2:06 PM

P.S. All of the above is bullshit. I'm floundering in a sea of confusion and total despair, but, knock on wood, I still have my health.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 28, 2011 2:09 PM

Mrs. Julien, are you really wallowing in a sea of despair?

As I said on other threads, the best part of Hot Tub Time Machine was the Rob Corddry/Poison mashup. Best John Cusack role: still gotta go Lloyd Dobler, but Martin Blank is a hair's breadth from the top.

Consider this:

(paraphrase): "How'd you get Diane Court to go out with you? I mean, what are you?"

JC: "I'm Lloyd Dobler."

Posted by: MM at June 28, 2011 2:19 PM

I figure if the drinking heavier later in life thing kicks in like it should, I shouldn't have to worry about being too loving a parent later on. Two birds with one rocks glass!


By the way, Teefury, CALVINBALL DOESN’T HAVE ANY RULES.

Other kids' games are all such a bore! They've gotta have rules, and they gotta keep score!

Posted by: branded at June 28, 2011 2:19 PM

... several elderly Japanese citizens have volunteered for the job because they have “less risk of getting cancer and other diseases that develop slowly as a result of exposure to high levels of radiation.” Speaking of leaking, there’s something wrong with my eyes.

The heroes run toward the sirens when everyone else is running away. (Link above.) The heroes shield others with their bodies, while the bad guys use others as human shields. http://thedemotivators.com/honor

It's not hard to tell the heroes, just hard to live up to them.

Also, the heroes are David Bowie (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xdo5f_ozf6E), who can apparently turn himself into cats now http://verydemotivational.memebase.com/2010/05/16/demotivational-posters-david-bowie/

Nothing he does surprises me.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at June 28, 2011 2:21 PM

I'm not saying it's Cusack's best, but the Belcourt in Nashville is screening two midnight showings of High Fidelity, July 8 & 9... the Grimey's staff will be there for the Saturday show.

Posted by: Cody at June 28, 2011 2:22 PM

Dat egg and protein joke from Grosse Pointe Blank is still fresh in my head.

also, i miss Minnie Driver. like a lot.

Posted by: haplo at June 28, 2011 2:25 PM

I gave Cusack my heart back when he was Lane Meyer. Circa 1985.

Posted by: VitaminC at June 28, 2011 2:28 PM

Judging by my singleminded comments today MM I'm wallowing in a sea of pheromones and wanton jezebellitude.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 28, 2011 2:37 PM

I think John Cusack can make almost every movie he's in. And while I love me some Lloyd Dobbler, Lane Meyer, and Martin Blank, I have to say my favorite character of his is Rob Gordon. Love High Fidelity!

Oh, and yes, I thought HTTM was hysterical, but I love dumb humor, so there you go.

Posted by: Laura at June 28, 2011 2:38 PM

"One of the sexiest sequences in the history of film and totally SFW to boot."

Not the way I watch it.

Posted by: Groundloop at June 28, 2011 2:40 PM

Cusack was brilliant in The Jack Bull.

Posted by: The Kilted Yaksman at June 28, 2011 2:52 PM

Ooh, thanks for the heads up about High Fidelity at Belcourt, Cody!

Posted by: ami at June 28, 2011 2:58 PM

The article from The Atlantic made me feel like a 3.27% less awful parent by virtue of, ironically, being an awful parent. I WIN!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 28, 2011 3:10 PM

I like to joke I'm uncomfortable with people touching me because my parents hugged me to much as a child. Actually, I think the only unintentionally harmful 'lesson' I got in childhood was that with enough hard work, I can do anything I set my mind to. God love my folks, they really tried to drill this one into me. It backfired spectacularly when I realized as a clumsy, nearsighted nine year old, no, I was never, ever going to be a prima ballerina, no matter what I did. Took a loooong time before I even attempted another athletic endeavor(soccer, which I was fair to middling at)and even though my parents tried to be totally supportive, I kinda latched onto the original message and still felt like a loser. Parents just can't win sometimes.

I love that 'Brother,Where Art Thou' song, and by the way,it does really work as a 'siren' song; have gotten more than a few requests from male friends and exes for that one. One of the few times in life being able to croon like Alison Krauss actually works in real life (I may suck at sports but I did eventually find something I was good at).

Posted by: thenemophilist at June 28, 2011 3:10 PM

Calvinball has at least one rule: You can never play the same way twice.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at June 28, 2011 3:34 PM

I'm just not sure that's Pete, Delmar.

Posted by: Matty at June 28, 2011 3:59 PM

My philosophy is generally to hope for the best and plan for the worst. That way, I'm rarely disappointed (since I expected things to go wrong) and when things go right, I'm pleasantly surprised.

Low expectations. One of the secrets to contentment, if not career success.

Posted by: Slash at June 28, 2011 4:21 PM

Nope. Nope. Lloyd Dobler by a mile. "The rain on my car is a baptism, the new me, Ice Man, Power Lloyd, my assault on the world begins now." Screw Martin Blank.

Posted by: budiwag at June 28, 2011 4:41 PM

Also, for the hell of it:

Never trust a female Delmar, remember that one simple precept and your time with me will not have been ill spent.

Ok, Everett.

Truth means nothing to a woman, Delmar. Triumph of the subjective. You ever been with a woman?

Well, I... I... I gotta get the family farm back before I can start thinking about that.

That's right, if then.

Posted by: dubiwag at June 28, 2011 4:55 PM

Have you seen that he is going to play Edgar Allan Poe?

Posted by: MRod at June 28, 2011 4:59 PM

Until you made that Veronica Mars reference I didn't feel so squishy. Now, melted gelatin.

Posted by: gee. ay. at June 29, 2011 12:18 AM

Between me and my husband we've owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I've settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.

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Posted by: Tyson F. Gautreaux at July 10, 2011 8:16 AM

Check out my compilation album I did along with my music production with J-Stalin, AP-9, Sweet Geez, City Side Crew and many more rappers from the bay area.

Posted by: DJ Taylor Made at August 4, 2011 3:34 PM