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Ewan McGregor Will No Longer Get Naked On-Screen. My Force Is Greatly Disturbed.

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (29)

ewan-mcgregor.jpeg

Happy Monday, my celestial bodies. Did you watch the Supah Moon on Saturday? If you missed it because it was overcast or you were inside or you were celebrating St. Patrick’s Day 2: Whiskey Boogaloo, Buzzfeed has a some nice snaps of the Supah Moon from around the world. (Buzz Feed)

Reader Cheryl knows me VERY well and sent me this lovely word cloud of books you really ought to (why haven’t you, have you been watching TV this WHOLE time?) read. The title choices are based on several “Top” lists and I must say I agree with their #1. (Chicago Sun Times)

So that Emu-faced lad and that lemon-faced lady have called it quits. Because he’s gay? Because he cheated on her? Because of the Emu thing? Who’s to say. (Evil Beet)

Check out these fantastic fake Smithsonian posters proving the badassery of certain historical figures. (Behance)

Also badass are these photos from the set of the Hobbit. I like that even though Peter Jackson is much slenderer now, he is still thoroughly rumpled. I like my directors rumpled and preferably be-hatted. (io9)

Did I just suck all the meaning out of the word “badass” by applying it to Tolkein? How about if I apply it to this dorky 16-year-old with the voice of a Rat Packer. I don’t think this chap would be getting so much attention if we, the internetters, couldn’t compare him to the trainwreck that was/is Rebecca Black. But, seriously, this kid is good and it’s nice to see actual talent getting recognition. (Urlesque)

Speaking of talent, the LA-based grass roots musical “The Spidey Project” is now available online in its entirety. The play was produced in response to Julie Taymor’s overblown disaster. The sets are cardboard the songs are only okay but the jokes are pretty cute. (The Mary Sue)

Flavorwire has an article called “Your Favorite Musicians’ Favorite Musicians” and though they play a little fast and loose with that “Your Favorite” phrasing, I was interested to learn that Lady Gaga is deeply into Iron Maiden. (Flavorwire)

One of my favorite books when I was younger was make-up artist Kevyn Aucoin’s “Making Faces” which was both a make-up how-to and a lesson in the transformative power of make-up in film iconography. My favorite part to flip through was the section where he used make-up to turn contemporary stars into older screen legends. You can see Isabella Rossellinii as Barbra Streisand here. The Film Experience has a neat article on stars posing as other stars, including a sort of embarrassing round-up of women posing as Marylin Monroe. Oh, Lindsay. (The Film Experience)

Another cherished memory from my youth is Ewan McGregor’s bare bum. Apparently he’s through with film nudity and his reasoning for staying clothed (as well as his reason for getting naked in the first place) is rather feminist. Dreamy. (Celebitchy)

The lovely badkittyuno sent me this great montage of characters saying the title of the film they’re in. Whenever this happens, I lean over to my friends and whisper, in my best Ron Howard, “Hey! That’s the name of this show!” Yes I am that asshole who sometimes whispers in the movie theater. Go ahead, hit me with your best shot but be warned, I’ve got Sour Patch Kids and I will return fire.

I know I have a “no cute animal videos” policy, but I had never seen red pandas before…so it’s more like science…cute, cavorting science.

Joanna Robinson lied, she usually has Red Vines, but they’re too floppy and unaerodynamic to be threatening. Let her know your preferred candy to fling here: godtopuswept@gmail.com or follow her @quityourJRob









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Comments

Is the commentary missing or am I just that mesmerized by McGregor? I'm happy either way.

(Yes, yes, it was all in your head Mrs. J. A McGregor induced fever dream.-JR)

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 21, 2011 1:03 PM

If someone traveled back in time and told a 16 year old me, "One day Ewan McGregor and Kate Winslet will both stop getting naked in movies," I would've slit my own throat right then and there.

Posted by: Angeleno Ewok at March 21, 2011 1:22 PM

Congratulations on discovering the red panda.

No, they never stop being that cute.

Posted by: twig at March 21, 2011 1:27 PM

That bullshit little moon made my C drive break down.

THANKS, SUPERMOON, FOR NOTHIN'!


You'll always have "T.V. Eye" in "Velvet Goldmine".

Posted by: Jay at March 21, 2011 1:28 PM

Ewan, filmdom's loss is my loss. But I thank you for giving it your all for so many movies.

So. many. Memories.

Bereft. Adrift. Monday.

Posted by: klingonfree at March 21, 2011 1:33 PM

I find it hard to believe Joanna has never seen Kung Fu Panda (Dustin Hoffman is a red panda), nor looked up the insufferably cute photos of said endangered animal afterwards.

You might as well be George Dubya, JR.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at March 21, 2011 1:41 PM

Wait. You mention cute animals, but not even a whisper about Knut's death? What do you have against adorable orphaned German polar bears that we can't shed a tear at their untimely demise?

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 21, 2011 1:42 PM

Watership Down AND A Prayer for Owen Meany? Boo-yah!

Posted by: Todd at March 21, 2011 1:45 PM

Paddydog - Those polar bears know what they did and you have NO RIGHT to bring up such painful memories for Joanna!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 21, 2011 1:50 PM

Red pandas are adorable. Zoo Atlanta used to have two but one died a few years ago. I was so sad to hear that, they were my favorite exhibit. Now I just go for the lemurs and golden tamarins. Regular pandas simply can't compare.

Posted by: Wednesday at March 21, 2011 2:03 PM

Ah, Ghengis Kahn, or as we call him in my family, Pop-pop.

Posted by: SocratesJohnson at March 21, 2011 2:10 PM

So that Emu-faced lad and that lemon-faced lady have called it quits.

Won't someone.. ANYONE think of the caricaturists?! This is going to hit their industry harder than the Affleck/J-Lo breakup!

Posted by: branded at March 21, 2011 2:15 PM

LEAVE REBECCA BLACK ALONE!

Sorry, couldn't resist. Besides, Ark Music Factory is totally to blame for that horrible song.

That movie title video makes me miss the Ack Attack Lost recaps. In every recap, she would point out when a character would say the title of that episode.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at March 21, 2011 2:20 PM

Twilight is on that list of books. I know there were several sources used to compile that and I agree with almost every other book on there but it still bugs me.

Heart Shaped Box and Invisible Monsters should be included in there as well.

Posted by: Paultera at March 21, 2011 2:34 PM

Ah. Boo. Hiss.

I think I will be wearing out my The Pillow Book, Velvet Underground, and Young Adam DVDs until Ewan returns to his senses.

Posted by: Jerry at March 21, 2011 2:39 PM

They have red pandas at the zoo near my house. Joanna is cordially invited to come and visit with me. New York/New Jersey Pajibacon! Who's with me?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 21, 2011 2:56 PM

JR, who SAYS that Red Vines aren't threatening? Have you ever been whipped by one? HAVE YOU??? It HURTS.

Sorry, but Red Vines are one of my favorites, and I couldn't bear them being dubbed the pussy of candy confections.

Posted by: jimbob at March 21, 2011 2:59 PM

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? TWILIGHT?

Balderdash!

Posted by: FabMax at March 21, 2011 3:19 PM

But the real question here is: will McGregor insist that the ladies in his films no longer have to disrobe? Because based on his rationale for staying clothed, if the younger co-stars still have to strip, it still makes him the creepy "older" guy.

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 21, 2011 3:38 PM

But the creepy older guy with standards.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 21, 2011 4:36 PM

Hey, "Playing By Heart" tried, people. It tried.

Posted by: Jay at March 21, 2011 4:57 PM

paultera, I am seriously psyched that someone else has read Heart Shaped Box. Much love for that (creepy creepy) book.

Posted by: badkittyuno at March 21, 2011 5:26 PM

Dear Video Montage Editor:

There is a, admittedly, subtle (but distinct) difference between movies where the title is shoehorned into the dialogue/voice over, and where the title is inspired by and/or based on a line of dialogue/voice over. I'm not saying one is better (because, obviously, Doc Brown's line is delivered expertly no matter what the intention), but there is a difference, and by putting in a smorgasbord of both as examples, you've diluted your own point.

Cheers,
RobP

P.S. - Do you know who Rebecca Black is, because I sure as heck don't. Let's get a beer and discuss how we've both been left back at the station while the internet train choos-choos along without us.

Posted by: RobP at March 21, 2011 5:43 PM

The best candy to fling? Half-chewed, soggy gummy bears, of course.

Posted by: spljt at March 21, 2011 6:29 PM

What are the rules on raping red pandas?

Are we still allowed to joke about that, considering the Polanski article today?

What if she's a consenting red panda and I'm a famous movie-maker?

Too drugged to say no still means "yes" right?

Also, as far as I'm aware, Pandas aren't even capable of saying no. So that means, "yes" too, I guess?

[puts Barry White on the turn-table, opens bottle of 'ludes, and busts out scented bamboo reeds]

Posted by: superasente at March 21, 2011 7:09 PM

"There is a, admittedly, subtle (but distinct) difference between movies where the title is shoehorned into the dialogue/voice over, and where the title is inspired by and/or based on a line of dialogue/voice over."

Forget it, RobP, it's Chinatown.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at March 21, 2011 8:29 PM

I LOVE Kevyn Aucoin’s “Making Faces”! My sister was once a drama major and after taking a class in makeup she liked to try all the faces in the book on me. I was a makeup guinea pig. I wish we had pictures. No idea why there are no pictures. I looked awesome as the Gamine.

Posted by: pickled tink at March 21, 2011 10:29 PM

Red Vines are disgusting.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at March 22, 2011 12:21 AM

Oh woah, I've read almost all of those books! Jeepers creepers. I suppose only about twenty novels and it'll be time for me to end it. Adieu, cruel world.

Re Spider Man: oh JoRo, I know you put that in just for me. Thank you. Can the fun please, please, please never end?

Posted by: Caspar at March 22, 2011 6:47 AM