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Eddie Murphy Wants to Poop Out Another Nutty Turd

By Stacey Nosek | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (22)

nutty_professor.jpg

Wow, I didn’t think it was possible to make a less relevant third movie to a franchise that nobody gives a fart about anymore than Men in Black III, but Eddie Murphy is going to challenge that with a third Nutty Professor movie. (Film Drunk)

And on that note, here are five key components to a sequel not sucking. Although I guess it helps if the first movie didn’t already blow chunks, Nutty Professor. (Unreality)

Apparently CBS doesn’t care if their family friendly stars are domestic-abusing, hooker-loving drug addicts, because Charlie Sheen has finally reached an agreement to return to “Two and a Half Men” for an obscene amount of money. (Celebitchy)

Oh, this is shocking: Sarah Jessica Parker topped a recent poll as the “least sexiest” member of the SaTC cast. Um, can I vote for “all of the above?” (Agent Bedhead)

With MacGruber coming out this Friday, here’s a chart of SNL spin-off movies respective successes. (Screen Junkies)

Man, I know John Travolta is a wack-job Scientologist, but hasn’t the poor guy gone through enough already? First his son passes away and now his two dogs were killed at a Maine airport. (DListed)

Some Food Network guy I’ve never heard about hired some hobos to kill his wife. And obviously now he’s probably going to jail, which is why you don’t hire hobos to kill your wife. (Yeeeah!)

For the first time in the history of mankind, a robot has officiated a wedding. Go ahead and guess what country this happened in. No, I dare you. (Gamma Squad)

Oh, and while I’m kind of on the subject: Here are 10 futuristic technologies we wish existed right now. (Topless Robot)

OK, George Costanza, I’m totally happy for you that you got teh skinnies from Jenny Craig and all — but please, don’t ever make me picture your naked body ever again. (Evil Beet)

Some guy started a website to come up with 101 uses for his evil devil ex-wife’s wedding dress. It is pretty funny, but still I can’t help but wondering about the other side of the story. A guy willing to go through this much to torment his ex-wife couldn’t have been a peach of a husband. Thanks, Patty O’Green! (My Ex-Wife’s Wedding Dress)

Another day, another supercut video. This one complies a bunch of bully movies scenes from the ’80s. H/T to those jerkasses over at Film Drunk.

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.









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Comments

Give a sugar cube and a vigorous rubdown and she'll be okay.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at May 18, 2010 1:19 PM

Ooooh, Poor Travolta dogs. That is awful.
{goes to hug Ollie}

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at May 18, 2010 1:38 PM

Poor doggies and poor Travolta. What kind of unprofessional schmuck was that dog walker, anyway?

Posted by: stardust at May 18, 2010 1:44 PM

I guess it helps if the first movie didn’t already blow chunks, Nutty Professor.

You may now begin biting your tongue off/breaking your fingers.

Posted by: Jay at May 18, 2010 1:48 PM

Effing with that wedding dress is better than, say, drinking constantly or whoring around. Especially considering that he has kids. He'll get tired of it after awhile, publish his book, and move on.

Posted by: Kballs at May 18, 2010 1:49 PM

Cruz gave [the first homeless man] Little Dave a box which contained a box cutter, a disposable cell phone, gloves and 1/2 of 10 hundred dollar bills, and promised to give him the other halves when the job was done.

I'm sorry, does that say "10 hundred dollar bills"? OK, now, it's been like a few minutes since I did some math, but that is one thousand dollars, correct? So each of those hobos is going to get $333.33, yeah?

You get what you pay for.

Posted by: Anna von Beaversmack at May 18, 2010 2:00 PM

Especially considering that he has kids

And what a fine example he's setting for those kids....

Posted by: Cassidy at May 18, 2010 2:03 PM

Fake mouse found in truck's cab: Travolta family cat could not be reached for comment.

Posted by: laredo at May 18, 2010 2:05 PM

Oh I don't know, Cassidy, from reading his posts I'm betting he does a decent enough job with them. Plus, all kids need to learn to difuse pain with humor, right?

Posted by: Patty O'Green at May 18, 2010 2:08 PM

I'll admit I'd never leave a holodeck library, but I couldn't live with myself if I stayed in one book. I'd probably go insane from jumping from Dickens to Joyce to Rice to Austen to Twain to Poe to Lovecraft to Atwood to Shelley to the nice padded room at the sanatorium.

Posted by: Robert at May 18, 2010 2:30 PM

How the Holodeck can be anything other than #1 on that list is beyond me. I know that, when I'm gajillionaire rich, I'm calling Jobs and Gates and having them race to make me one.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at May 18, 2010 3:04 PM

I've never heard of this Food Network chef, but come on...just look at the smile on that guy. It SCREAMS of hobo-hiring, homicidal craziness. And cutting those bills in half? Damn, dude must have been raised on the streets. That's hard core, man. Ain't no way those hobos can scam you now! Unless, you know, they report you to the cops, jackass.

At least no one was hurt and hopefully the hobos got some cash and a shower from it, so I don't feel too bad giggling like mad at my desk.

Posted by: DeadBessie at May 18, 2010 3:04 PM

Hands down, the what-if machine.

Posted by: SB at May 18, 2010 3:07 PM

The only part of any marriage ceremony that is legal and official is the signatures on the paper. The rest is just pageantry. A robot is no stupider than some other ceremonies I have seen.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at May 18, 2010 3:09 PM

I bet Little Dave, Big Dave and Shane have some kind of movie deal by the end of the day.

Posted by: Slash at May 18, 2010 3:10 PM

I'm with Patty, holodecks should totally be No.1; they'd render nearly everything else obsolete. Provided they could make them safe enough, seeing as how often people got killed, injured or trapped inside them. You could recreate a new mansion for yourself every damn day, kick the holo-asses of everyone who's wronged you, sleep with the hot holo-celebrity of your choice, eat holo-food and not gain weight. Damn, am I drooling? I totally am. I want a holodeck bad.

Posted by: DeadBessie at May 18, 2010 3:12 PM

Yes, Holodeck. Goodbye Dungeons and Dragons. Hello having to actually memorize magic spells.

It would be epic.

Posted by: superasente at May 18, 2010 3:32 PM

Jim: Hey Pookie how did your dogs die?
Pookie: They were old and they both got sick and died.

Jim: Hey Tommy how did your dogs die?
Tommy: The guy that does my lawn sprayed some sort of pesticide on the lawn and the dogs died from it. It was an accident, the guy didn’t mean it and he apologized so I really didn’t push the issue.

Jim: Hey John how did your dogs die?
John: They got killed at the airport.
Jim: The Fuck! The airport? What happened, the balloons burst in their stomach?
John: Fuck you!


Posted by: Pookie at May 18, 2010 4:13 PM

Hee! Che, I just meant that he's paying them less than $350 each to murder someone. What did he expect to happen, there? $350 may buy a lotta cheap booze, but it does not buy silence. Or a good murdering job.

Posted by: Anna von Beaversmack at May 18, 2010 4:17 PM

Superstar is practically my biopic.

Posted by: Sofía at May 18, 2010 6:31 PM

Where did abusing the x's wedding dress come from? I thought that it was more traditional to bang her friends, sisters and mother. And then post the video on the internet.

If Travolta had Pomeranians or Bichon Frisees look for a dramatic up grade in the quality of his toupees.

Posted by: OscarTamerz at May 18, 2010 8:22 PM

Eddie Murphy is unquestionably the most lucrative comedian actor of all time. My favourites films are, Shrek 2, Shrek the Third , Beverly Hills Cop, Coming to America.

Posted by: Maurice Bruggman at June 24, 2010 7:43 AM