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Drown Your Sorrows In Film's 100 Most Depressing Death Scenes

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | November 15, 2012 | Comments ()


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Ever wondered what it's like inside the squirrel brain of an internet writer? Check out the following wicked accurate comic. Don't give a crap? Zen scroll on down ze page, Liebling. (Oatmeal)

The other day I nominated Charlie Hunnam (aka Jax Teller) for the lead in the new Tarzan film. Looks like Hollywood is going in a different direction. Actually, strike that, it's the same direction. (TFE)
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Here are the first images of the big bad...uh...elves from Thor 2. I think it looks like someone put ears on some Cyberman and then slapped a doily on their evil elven crotches. But that's just me. (BC)

Spoiler alert for the future of James Marsden's adorable "30 Rock" character. (Vulture)

It's a comics kind of day and this gem from James McAvoy and Donald Glover's favorite movie delighted me. The many faces of Biff Tannen. (Classics Of Crap)
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Looks like Kevin Clash (aka Elmo) has been truly exonerated of all sketchy allegations. Now his accuser has been put under scrutiny and, oh, it ain't pretty. Let this be a lesson to everyone. You mess with a beloved muppet, you get the internet's hand up your *ss. (WG)

Ben Affleck is on the cover of GQ and is whinging a little about how poorly the press treats him. Is it just me or is this some Benjamin Buttons sh*t? )Celebitchy)
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In my third (and last) comic of the day, here's a depiction of the types of folks you meet at the midnight release of a video game. Hmmm, not quite the same as the crowd I see at midnight book releases. (Nerd Approved)

The National Book Awards were announced today and Louise Erdrich beat out my boy Junot Díaz. Not cool, Louise. (NBA)

And the OED announced their word of the year. The new word originates from the glorious BBC sitcom "The Thick Of It." It is, alas, not F*ckity-Bye. (BBC)
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Speaking of which, the incomparable Peter Capaldi will be joining the cast of BBC's "The Hour" for the second season which debuts in the US on November 28th. (Deadline)

Well, my loves, you might want to save this delightful "Best Of Mel Brooks" article until after you've watched all your favorite film characters die. (Uproxx)

Which would be now. Now is when they all die. Hunh, guess I should have watched Midnight Cowboy, oh, 20 years ago if I wanted to avoid that "spoiler."

And, to make it all clean again, here's one half of Hollywood's cutest couple dancing for charity. His Gangnam Style is pretty crap, but that is a decent Pee Wee Herman.







Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Every time you do, Bill Murray crashes a wedding.


Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Kind of disappointed that the 100 Most Depressing Deaths didn't come from hh.

  • mernymerlyn

    Wait, what about The Champ?

  • melissa82

    What did I expect from the most depressing death scenes? Did I really for one second think that I, the woman who cries during holiday Hallmark commercials, could get through that without tearing up!? So easily I forget my sensitivity....but thanks for the Ellen clip at the end, that helped.

  • ,

    "Thelma and Louise," depressing?

    Bitches went out in STYLE, motherfuckers!

  • I find Garfield's beard both surprising and sexy. I did not know that he had that in him.

  • sars

    that list is lacking two major deaths- the mom from " The Land Before Time" and the mom from " Mishka Mushka"... yes more animal deaths

  • sars

    fucking BAMBI, God damn BAMBI-- that was the start of my vegetarianism... and that German Shepherd scene from I am Legend... I weep every time I think about that one...

  • $27019454

    Perrrrfect that they are using Skaaarsgard for Tarzan. I have always felt he was best at monosyllabic dialog ("Friend, GOOD! Fire, BAD!") and that despite his good looks (eh...) he was best used in roles requiring him not to speak. Tarzan is perfect for him. Me, Tarzan -- sounds about right. To me, he is proof that good-looking does not necessarily mean attractive.

    That whole thing sounded so mean and snarky. I meant to say that I am sure he is a lovely person and that his mother thinks very highly of him.

  • Robert

    That comic is the truth. I have a wall filled with post-its of barely legible genius ideas that woke me from my sleep. As soon as I decode "Ryan Gosling...werebear...panties," I'll be a millionaire.

  • Miss Laaw-yuhr

    I am most delighted by "werebear". However, please don't tell Stephanie Myers about this idea or I fear that Taylor Lautner hellspawn vehicle that would spring forth.

  • dizzylucy

    I feel like Elmo should host a Sesame Street segment about background checks.

    Oh Ben Affleck, did it really suck THAT MUCH when you acted like a tool years ago and people noticed? So much that even all your current success and beautiful family isn't enough to make you stop talking about it? Please stop talking about it.

    I have no opinion on a Tarzan movie, but that photo brightened a gloomy afternoon here.

  • carrie

    Affleck didn't act like a tool! he was dating JLo

  • BierceAmbrose

    Is it me, or did they turn the 'shop up to 23% Clooney in that alleged Affleck cover?

  • SugarSmak

    I don't know why I clicked on that video - I've already had a horrible November and that was the capper (so far)...but...I was slightly surprised that "The Champ" was not represented in that montage. Rick(y) Schroeder crying broke my heart. Off to find pictures of Jon Hamm as a palate cleanser....

  • MGMcD

    That video proves that I get more choked up when animals die than people. Artax crushed my young soul early on, but the dog in I am Legend made me weep like a bitch and I didn't even watch Marley and Me because I knew the dog died (not that I would have watched other than in TBS Sunday hangover form, but still). The Iron Giant and the sequence from Up were pretty brutal too.

  • sars

    same here-- the only human death on that list that affected me was Pan's Labyrinth...but thats probably because it was directed by Guillermo Del Toro... I would aff Mishka Mushka to this list- polar bear cubs whose mom gets shot by hunters...and the mom in The Land Before Time

  • prairiegirl

    I was thinking the same thing - that I was moved the most by the animated and animal clips. The Iron Giant gets me every time and Bambi was the first movie that ever made me cry. My family still talks about how emotional I got when his Mom was shot. And don't even get me started with Mustafa and Simba scene from the Lion King. . .rips me to shreds.

  • Lindzgrl

    I rank the dog in I Am Legend as most unnecessary movie death in the history of movies.

  • kilmo

    The dog dies in the book. Soooo, actually completely necessary.

  • Lindzgrl

    They changed so much else from the book I'm not sure that's an excuse. The dog should have lived!

  • Sars

    horrid :(

  • thatgirl

    Looking at close ups of the Thor 2 photos, you can see that Eccleston has tracking dots on his face... so there's going to be a fuckton of post-production going on. I'm hoping that's the case with the armor and... everything else in those photos.

  • goodtothelastdrop

    What about Wash?! That was depressing...

  • googergieger

    In the presses defense. It IS Ben Affleck.

  • DarthCorleone

    I'd like to see the 100 most unintentionally hilarious death scenes.

  • caro

    Marion Cotillard in TDKR

  • BWeaves

    I'm sorry, but there's only so much Gweneth Paltrow I can take.

  • Lindzgrl

    Me three! *puts down Sam Adams glass*

  • Bert_McGurt

    Seconded!

  • Jeff Victor

    What a delight to see my Biff artwork on Pajiba! I read your site every day! Thanks so much! :) You can see lots more of my movie cartoons on my blog: http://jeffvictor.blogspot.com...

  • lubeg

    Your stuff is really fun, Jeff.

  • *snicker* "mummy porn"...yes, I know it means something different on that side of the pond, but I can't get the following out of my head: "Oh, Tutankhamen, yes! YES! Harder! Harder!!"

  • Bert_McGurt

    And of course the best selling title would have to be Two in the Pink, One in the Sphinx.

  • dizzylucy

    Lots of obelisk shots.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Let me chariot in your desert,
    Let me barge down your Nile,
    Let me plunge into your Sphinx,

    I'm your holy crocodile.

    (Alternate lyrics from Deathtongue's world tour. Also, ack, oop!)

  • Bert_McGurt

    "Oh baby, let me suck on those Nefertitis!"

  • Bert_McGurt

    Wait, Rhianna is one of GQ's Men of the Year?

  • Drake

    That girl has REALLY mastered the tuck!

  • Thank YOU! That's what I noticed, too.

  • I was just fascinated by how getting killed can posthumously make you a patriot.

  • I think it's an assumption for those in the diplomatic corps. Just a thought.

  • KatSings

    That first video crushed my will to live. Mostly because of Up. The second, however, made me giggle when I thought I'd maybe never smile again, so good on Andrew Garfield.

  • Laurie Lolo Oatsvall Hutson

    I cried so hard people came to check on me .....then I was laughing out loud they probably think I need professional help

  • damnitjanet

    GODDAMN IT!

  • Zuffle

    Here in the UK, the second season of The Hour started last night, and it was wonderful. West, Wishaw, Capaldi... it's enough to make a straight man crave the cock.

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