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Do We Care If Our Beautiful Celebrities Are Dumber Than Fence Posts?

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (43)



mmmomoa.jpeg

You know what I’ve been listening to all morning, my fine furry friends? The Muppet “Green Album.” How this slipped past my pop culture radar before today, I will never know, but it’s a nifty compilation of covers of famous Muppet songs. My favorite is Matt Nathanson’s “I Hope That Something Better Comes Along.” Some are better than others, and all of them lack that certain je ne sais frog, but it’s a cute album and you can listen to all of it, right now, on NPR. For freesies. One last thing, I misread this listing: ‘Mahna Mahna’ performed by The Fray as performed by Tina Fey and almost hyperventilated. Nerts. (NPR)

Ah, NPR, what a wonderful resource. Thank goodness our government recognizes its value and has not slashed its fund-eh? What? F*ck. Listen, I’m really not a communist, I swear. But I do think, in light of all this “extreme measures” and “shared sacrifice” talk, this Op Ed about tax breaks for the extremely wealthy is highly relevant. Did I mention it was written by Warren Buffett? (NYT)

Who do you think they would cast to play Warren Buffett in his biopic? According to this list of Film Actors and Their Less Attractive Real Life Characters, I think ol’ Buffett falls somewhere in the Brad Pitt territory. (Unreality)

Speaking of attractive actors, we often stumble across these stories of beautiful people behaving like total dimwits. (In the case of Jason Momoa here, an ill-advised rape joke at ComicCon.) And I get it, it’s all about the celebrity cycle of Build ‘Em Up, Knock ‘Em Down. But often I hear back from you, gentle readers (usually in regards to Megan Fox) that you don’t care if The Beautiful People are smart. As long as their dumbassery doesn’t translate to wooden performances that then ruin the films you love
(ahem, January Jones). So, what say you? Do you care, or are you just here to look? (Celebitchy)

On the subject of Thing That Look Real Purty, here is a list of the 50 Most Special Effects Of All Time. I’m not the only one who loves The Abyss? Yessssss. (Time Out NY)

That Special Effects juggernaut, The Hobbit has thrown out an open casting call for elves. Only “slim” people need apply. I guess they can’t CGI away the fact that I love bread. (The One Ring)

“BREAD MAKES YOU FAT?!?!” Oh yeah, I just Scott Pilgrim‘d you. Speaking of evil exes, there is a museum dedicated to the Artifacts Of Our Failed Relationships. You mean those things aren’t supposed to be burned? (Good)

Can someone take all the Wrestlemania information I learned for that boyfriend out of my head? Can you put THAT in a museum? I suppose it would look something like this awesome Taxonomy Of Wrester Names Poster. (Pop Chart Lab)

And while we’re charting pop culture, here is a fantastic Timeline of Sci-Fi films (including time travel within those films). (Alice Yi)

No time travel on this list (no, nerds, the Time Turner from Harry Potter doesn’t count…wrong movie). This is 15 movies that received an A+ on the CinemaScore (a survey of film audiences to rate their viewing experiences with letter grades). Really, Soul Surfer? Also, The Help, Antwone Fisher, The Blind Side and Driving Miss Daisy? Why that’s just the quadfecta of white condescension! (THR)

I’ve avoided most of the My Little Pony stuff because, frankly, it weirds me out. But this “Doctor Who” mash-up. Well. I’m powerless to resist. Watch this animated pony do the Tennant eyebrow and try not to smile. I dare you.

Finally, here’s the latest in the series of Film Musicals produced by the Kaplan Brothers (Jon and Al). I loved the Predator musical, but this time around, they actually got actors from the film to participate. So here are Roddy McDowall and Chris “Humperdink” Sarandon (with all the marbles in his mouth) performing “Amy Awake.” I just watched the original Fright Night the other day. It’s Cheese-o-licious.

Joanna Robinson has been trying to name the Warren Buffett biopic, but all she’s got so far is a week “buffet” pun. She bets you can do better.









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Comments

There are well-advised rape jokes?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 15, 2011 1:24 PM

WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE!

Kal Drogo is married to Marie De Salle?

Well they've clearly moved into the realm of "Top 5 Bi-Racial Couples" ever (*sniffsniff* list by Rob Gordon?).

Posted by: D-Day at August 15, 2011 1:27 PM

Dude, that's Miss Denise Cosby to you.

Posted by: coveredinbees at August 15, 2011 1:29 PM

Could you repeat that? I was drooling so loudly over The Momoa's furry man-breasteses and cursing Lisa Bonet's new name that I couldn't hear much of what you said.

Damn you Liliqoui Moon! Share the wealth, wench!

Posted by: Jerry at August 15, 2011 1:30 PM

I read the books and watched the show and I also saw video of the panel where Jason made that joke. Pretty people making ill-advised jokes are nothing to get all excited over.

Posted by: Phedre at August 15, 2011 1:36 PM

I just clicked on one of the Muppet tracks, and the ad was "NPR sponsored by Pabst Blue Ribbon".

If there was a keffiyah within 10 meters space/time would've folded in a Hipster Singularity Event.

Posted by: D-Day at August 15, 2011 1:37 PM

I always thought it would be cute if they did the Green Album for charity or something

Posted by: Luke at August 15, 2011 1:39 PM

I want my celebrities stupid. The smart ones tend to believe we elected them somehow to speak on our behalf.

Posted by: ahamos at August 15, 2011 1:47 PM

It's Mrs. Julien's birthday today. I say we descend en masse on New Jersey bearing a cake decorated in a Strawberry Thief motif.
Who is with me?

Posted by: PaddyDog at August 15, 2011 1:48 PM

According to Amazon regarding the Muppet Green album, "Customers buy this album with What Matters Most - Barbra Streisand Sings The Lyrics of Alan And Marilyn Bergman".

Really? Just the lyrics? Not the songs as well?

I gave a listen to the Muppet song samples and, other than applauding the inclusion of "Wishing Song", I just couldn't get into it. A Sesame Street cover album? I call dibs on "I Don't Want to Live on the Moon" and "Sing After Me", but mostly the former. I'm leaving Mr. Julien specific instructions to play that at my funeral, right after "O Mio Babbino Caro" and before "The Man That Got Away". Oh, OOOH, SRL idea: 5 PIECES OF MUSIC YOU WANT PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL!

I would pay good money to perform a duet of "Bein' Green" with Kermit, but only if it was Jim Henson's voice. You know, like that Natalie/Nat Cole thing.

What? What have I ever done to give the impression that I am cool? Exactly.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 15, 2011 1:49 PM

The best Kaplan musical ever is, and will always be, Silence of the Lambs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPnQ77a1UVk

(NSFW language)

Posted by: Paultera at August 15, 2011 1:52 PM

I do not find Jason Momoa attractive. At all. I keep looking, I just don't get it. And I like a guy with long hair. More for the rest of you, I guess. Or Lisa Bonet, as the case may be.

Posted by: tamatha at August 15, 2011 1:53 PM

Thanks Paddy! I'll provide the Acanthus paper plates and napkins.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 15, 2011 1:53 PM

Now that Amazon suggestion is really weird because I love Muppet songs and am okay with most of the performers on there, but my idea of hell is listening to Streisand sing even one note.

Posted by: PaddyDog at August 15, 2011 1:56 PM

Posted by: Scarecrow Boat at August 15, 2011 2:09 PM

Forget the Alkaline Trio. Take a road trip with me someday, and you might be subjected to my cover version of "Movin' Right Along."

Posted by: DarthCorleone at August 15, 2011 2:19 PM

I don't get it either, tamatha.

Happy birthday, Mrs. Julien!

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at August 15, 2011 2:39 PM

If there was a keffiyah within 10 meters space/time would've folded in a Hipster Singularity Event.

They've been creating singularities for years, but you've probably never heard of where or when they occurred.


Oh, OOOH, SRL idea: 5 PIECES OF MUSIC YOU WANT PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL!

While not an SRL, it made for one great comment diversion a long way (2 years) back:
http://www.pajiba.com/comment_diversions/songs-for-a-funeral.php

Posted by: branded at August 15, 2011 2:45 PM

Cake covering "Mahna Mahna" es mas better.

Posted by: =DocDoom1= at August 15, 2011 2:47 PM

Marcy Darcy and the yutz from Gremlins are in the original Fright Night?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at August 15, 2011 3:07 PM

Oooh, branded, Nice one!

Posted by: John G. at August 15, 2011 3:19 PM

Man, I don't get it either. He just looks like a Neanderthal...

Happy Birthday Mrs. Julien!!! You get Internet Hugs!!!

Posted by: denesteak at August 15, 2011 3:32 PM

Happy Birthday, Mrs. Julien! I'm now contemplating songs to be played at my funeral. So cheery!

Posted by: MM at August 15, 2011 3:54 PM

Happy Birthday Mrs. Julien!

I hope you do not consider the whale bone corset I sent you too forward a gift. Rest assured that the whale died of natural causes.

Posted by: logan at August 15, 2011 3:58 PM

... and the ad was "NPR sponsored by Pabst Blue Ribbon".

Get with the times, D-Day, I posted about that *months* ago on the FB. Sheesh. And I'm supposed to be the middle-aged lady in these here parts.

(This is where I would put the winking emoticon, if I believed in such things. Just to be clear.)


Posted by: tamatha at August 15, 2011 3:59 PM

A Full Plate of Money: The Warren Buffet Story

Warren Buffet says There's No Such Thing As Enough

Eat, Spend, Save the Warren Buffet Way!

Posted by: TWoPFan at August 15, 2011 4:03 PM

Timeline of Sci-Fi films

The Fifth Element took place in 1914? I guess I've missed the beginning a few hundred times or something.

Posted by: Paultera at August 15, 2011 4:07 PM

the yutz from Gremlins

If you mean Zach Galligan than No. And he was not a yutz. And Zach Galligan was in "Waxwork"!

This is William Ragsdale.

Posted by: Jay at August 15, 2011 4:23 PM

I haven't watched the Momoa clip, but rape is not an inherently worse topic for murder, or any number of other things that are joked about.

re: pretty/dumb celebrities - if you put a microphone in front of anyone often enough (including all of us) they would say something dumb, indefensible, offensive, etc. Hell- just look at our comments, and we have to type those (and even have a chance to preview them) before posting.

And JRo...I'll help you unlearn Wrestlemania if you'll help me unlearn the frickin' DC universe.

Posted by: Sara Tonin at August 15, 2011 4:49 PM

What I've never understood about dumb actors is their ability to ACT intelligent in movies. Why not just do that all the time?

Posted by: samantha t at August 15, 2011 4:53 PM


warren buffett lives like a trappist monk and if he wants to send
his overflow to the bottomless pit of spending which we call
government, let him have at it but let him speak and act for
himself. after that, warren, mind your own business.

speaking of condescension, since when does any depiction of
a kind act by a caucasian to a deprived black qualify as condescending? there is enough racism to go around but there is
also kindness, generosity and charity in the human make up.

Posted by: snake at August 15, 2011 5:32 PM

@ three nineteen

Marcy Darcy and the yutz from Gremlins are in the original Fright Night?

That is Macy Darcy, but not the yutz from Gremlin's it's some other yutz.

And yes I care very deeply if my good looking actors and actresses are dumb. It is upsetting to find out but rarely surprising unfortunately. It is wonderful to see a complete package with a brain.

Posted by: daria at August 15, 2011 5:50 PM

Momoa: I don't fucking get it either and that super smug header shot is causing my hands to tremble in anger.

His idiotic defense that involves the claim, "...I don’t like women crying when I’m making love to them" is kind of priceless.

And I can't stop listening to Weezer's version of "The Rainbow Connection." I'm a puddle on the floor over here.

Posted by: Kala at August 15, 2011 5:52 PM

Yeah, the beginning of The Fifth Element takes place in 1914 inside the building where 90210 boy and Aziz are tending the light.

Posted by: Protoguy at August 15, 2011 5:52 PM

I've watched the pony clip 4 times and I'm STILL LAUGHING. I don't know why . . .

Posted by: Lauren at August 15, 2011 6:22 PM

Posted by: Scarecrow Boat at August 15, 2011 2:09 PM

OMG. The News Flashes were my FAVORITE. MARRY ME, Scarecrow Boat!

Posted by: Anna von Beav at August 15, 2011 7:25 PM

That was me. I use the other name if I think I'm posting with annoying frequency.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 15, 2011 7:31 PM

I don't understand why people get so precious about rape jokes. I like a celebrity who isn't afraid to push the envelope a little and make the sort of off-colour jokes I'd make with my mates. Interviews are way less interesting if the celebrity has to be on guard against saying the tiniest little thing out of line.

Posted by: Chugga at August 15, 2011 7:47 PM

Re Warren Buffet:

Warren Buffet wants the rich to pay higher taxes because they will in turn invest more in life insurance (he owns or is heavily invested in six life insurance companies), and he wants the estate tax so he can then buy on the cheap what everyone else can't afford, due to the estate tax, which he lobbied for, with his massive amounts of capital gained from people investing in life insurance to avoid high taxes, which he wants.

(Life Insurance companies were one of the hardest pushers for the estate tax.)

Buffett wants higher taxes on the rich because higher taxes make him --!!! More money!!!

If Warren Buffett wants to pay more to the US government, then I suggest he write a check in his spare time, give it to the government as a form of a charitable donation, and leave everyone else the fuck alone. In fact every millionaire/billionaire CEO could do the same thing, but they aren't very keen on the idea. Why not? Because he knows how the system works, will avoid said higher taxes through loopholes, and still make even more money off those who get stuck with bills for 55% of their liquid assets.

The Super-rich love higher taxes because it hurts their competition more than it does them. In the mean time, let's not take too much advice from a man that is essentially a 21st century robber-baron, shall we?

Posted by: Some Guy at August 15, 2011 10:13 PM

Eight minutes left.

Party on, Mrs. J.

Posted by: , at August 15, 2011 11:53 PM

Haha je ne sais frog. I'm gonna use that one :D

Posted by: Inquisitive Mind at August 16, 2011 3:55 AM

I don't think this Jason dude is cute. At all.

Posted by: samantha t at August 16, 2011 10:36 AM

Let's see ... Warren Buffet wants to pay more, and NPR needs money. I'm sensing a solution here. That is unless Warren wants other people to pay more.

Somebody going to write Berkshire Hathaway for a check for NPR? Problem solved, says Cartman.

Of course Buffet doesn't want to pay more, he wants to be taxed more. Part of why he pays relatively little is he's brilliant at working the system. More taxes means more system to work, vs. the harder gig of making money by providing goods and services people want.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at August 16, 2011 5:47 PM