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Discover How Evangeline Lilly And Her Hot Ass Plan To Ruin The Hobbit

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (28)



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Alright my little halflings, I suppose I don’t really mean it. About the ruining. As much as I disliked Evangeline Lilly’s Kate on “Lost,” the woman is not a terrible actress and she is VERY easy on the eyes. Read on if you care to know exactly how extensive her TOTALLY MADE UP part in The Hobbit is. I’m a bit of a purist myself, but even I will admit that The Hobbit could use some lady characters to break up the dwarven sausage party. (FSR)

By the way, nerds, I would totally go to a dwarven sausage party. And while I have you here, our very own nerdy SLW wanted you to know about this video game. His email was all Charlie Brown Adult Trumpet Noises to me, so I’ll just quote directly: “Some truly level 99 nerds have actually written a fully functional version of the video game from The Last Starfighter and released it online. The developers have also acquired the actual game cabinet used in the documentary about the making of the film and are setting it up in order to shatter all previous conceptions of ‘meta.’” (RogueSynapse)

And for all you folks who are little more “sci” than “fi,” here’s an article sent to me by BierceAmbrose on the longest running scientific experiment. It MAY be one of the more boring science experiments, but it’s been going for the better part of a century. (PopSci)

And speaking of long-running, someone clever has done a video featuring every single “Doctor Who” episode. Every one. If you weren’t convinced before that you should watch “Who,” the lurching Daleks from the 60s will indubitably convince you. (NerdApproved)

Yesterday was Scottish Poet Robbie Burns’s birthday. If you, yourself, weren’t celebrating by raising a pint of ale last night, then you can praise him this morning. Read this deliciously scathing letter he wrote to a critic whom he called, among other things, “thou eunuch of language.” (Letters Of Note)

And though this birthday post for the late Andre The Giant is old, it’s worth a look, if only for the image of Andre’s hand holding a 12 oz beer can. (Lobshots)

Speaking of hot asses (as we were…remember?), Rhianna’s may be in trouble. I’m not just talking about her potentially hooking up with Chris Brown (what the h*ll?), I’m referring to the batsh*t tattoos she got on her knuckles. This is like ‘08 Britney behavior. What, Danny Trejo, you couldn’t stop her?(EvilBeet)
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Speaking of insanity, how wise is it to proceed with a spin-off of a show that’s lost its luster? “The Office” creators are planning a new sitcom around Rainn Wilson’s Dwight Schrute. That might maybe have a been good idea four years ago. Now it seems like beating a dead horse which, I’m sure, is something they literally do at Schrute’s Beet Farm. (Warming Glow)

And I know some folks are already growing weary of “Downton Abbey,” but check out the buttoned-up cast letting it all hang out at the National Television Awards. I would say O’Brien cleans up the best, but my heart belongs to Mr. Bates. (NTAs Tom&Lorenzo)

Which reminds me, I thought I was done with the “Sh*t Says” videos, but then I saw this.

If British people object to us learning about their culture via historically inaccurate melodramas like “Downton Abbey,” then imagine the fits and boomerangs the Aussie’s would throw if everything we knew about their culture we learned from film. Because their culture would look something like this…mate. (ScreenJunkies)

Don’t tell Dustin I posted this cuddle-worthy video of a dormouse snoring. I’d be fired on the spot.

Here, he likes Jeff Tweedy, maybe we can distract him with this fantastic new Wilco video. It’s hand drawn and features Olive Oyl and Popeye getting down.









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Comments

His email was all Charlie Brown Adult Trumpet Noises to me

Don't even front.

Do NOT.

Posted by: Jay at January 26, 2012 1:17 PM

Re: Hobbit movie

I am a bit concerned about how the dwarves look like runway models and rockstars. Somehow didnt get that impression from the book. Oh hollywood, you are such a disrespectful slut.

Posted by: j9 at January 26, 2012 1:22 PM

I’m a bit of a purist myself, but even I will admit that The Hobbit could use some lady characters to break up the dwarven sausage party.

Considering the amount of Halflings' Leaf going around, I'm forever referring to them now as "Little Smokies."

Posted by: branded at January 26, 2012 1:26 PM

Good lord. Fuck Peter Jackson.

And just...you know what? I couldn't give less of a shit what the British think about the shit I like. I mean, really? WHO GIVES A SHIT. YOU GUYS STILL HAVE A QUEEN. SHUT UP.

God I am all Red Figgy up in this PLove.

Stupid everything.

Posted by: figgy at January 26, 2012 1:27 PM

That Olive Oyl. What a fickle bitch.

Posted by: Green Lantern at January 26, 2012 1:29 PM

figgy, just play that video of the dormouse and practice your deep breathing.

(Sometimes I imagine figgy as a rage-filled Donald Duck. . .yup, pants less too.)

Posted by: Ginger at January 26, 2012 1:32 PM

So, if you sleep with a hobbit you get a role written for you in a movie? That's useful information to have, should I ever run into a hobbit.

Also, my friends and I used to joke about how Kate was a half-Elven Ranger with amethyst eyes (or something like that). It's nice to know that Evie Lilly is the eternal Mary Sue.

Posted by: Lipton at January 26, 2012 1:37 PM

Easy, easy...wait until they're all in Death Blossom range...FIRE!


I'm sorry, you were saying something about nerds?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at January 26, 2012 1:46 PM

The cabinet and game from the Last Starfighter? YES! I will be waiting in my trailer park for Centauri to pick me up.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at January 26, 2012 1:49 PM

dwarven sausage party

So she's part of the elven clam bake?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 26, 2012 2:24 PM

Must you bring everything down to your level, Mrs.?

Posted by: Jay at January 26, 2012 2:32 PM

Ok, first off, Dwarven Sausage Party needs to be my next band name. Or maybe another album title for Sir Kumcision and the Four Skins.

And not to be out-nerded, but weren't all the Mirkwood elves blonde in LOTR? Where are the continuity people when you need them?

Finally...CRAP! I missed Burns day?!??!? No sgian dubh plunged into a Haggis. No Scotch. No Piper. Dammit. It's going to be a miserable year.

Posted by: NateS1973 at January 26, 2012 2:36 PM

Evangeline Lilly in eleven leathers...I'm sure I had a dream like that once

Posted by: Dark Avenger at January 26, 2012 2:40 PM

the woman is not a terrible actress

Wait, what? I guess she's not a TERRIBLE actress, but she's maybe barely average.

Personally, I think she's very attractive, BUT: Yes, I have seen her in things other than Lost, and actressin' is not really her forte.

Posted by: MM at January 26, 2012 2:54 PM

Okay, so I haven't seen Downton Abbey, but I assume Maggie Smith is probably the best part of it. Her character reminds me of someone I know, except she is a Texan, and therefore quite a bit more obnoxious about being passive aggressive, and just more obnoxious in general, especially because she came from old Dallas money.

Also, good one Mrs. Julien!

and someone quit putting Ambien in that poor dormouse's cheese!

Posted by: MRod at January 26, 2012 2:58 PM

Oh my gosh, did you guys hear about the Dwight Schrute spin-off from "The Office" called "Schrute Farms?" Twice? Did you hear about it twice today?

Well now you've heard about it three times, motherfucker.

Posted by: superasente at January 26, 2012 3:00 PM

Re: The Hobbit.

If Jackson et al can improve "The Hobbit" like they did "LOTR", I'm all for it.

Speaking of SLW, one show he left off of his post this morning about how all the television shows you hate are breeding is Schrute Farms, “The Office” spin-off that NBC is apparently developing for Rainn Wilson

No, SLW didn't leave it off. Yes, "The Office" isn't what it used to be, but it totally doesn't deserve to be thrown in with the rest of that crap that SLW included in his post. Even in its current state, "The Office" raises far above that crap and most of what's on TV.

SLW very correctly and deliberately did NOT include this news.

Though, all y'all have made up for it by doing it here... Thrice.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at January 26, 2012 3:17 PM

Except that the Office spin-off might not be true!

Rainn Wilson's Tweety Twitter

Now you've heard about eleventy times, bitches!

Posted by: MM at January 26, 2012 3:24 PM

About IT, that is. You've heard about IT eleventy times. (Bitches.)

Posted by: MM at January 26, 2012 3:26 PM

So based on that Evangeline Lilly interview, can we infer that Mirkwood is the dividing line for the two Hobbit films? And if that's the case, I'm guessing the amount of original material made up by Jackson and company isn't as extensive as originally guessed.

I was unimpressed by The Last Starfighter even as a kid, but, yeah, it's premise sure did appeal to me, and that video game looked cool.

Dig that Doctor Who video!

Posted by: DarthCorleone at January 26, 2012 3:49 PM

"It is" premise. Yea, me.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at January 26, 2012 3:50 PM

Ain't nothin' wrong with obnoxious, passive-aggressive Texans.

We're lovely people. And if you ever visit NYC or somewhere else that fancies itself "cultured," they treat you like a rare bird in the zoo.

Posted by: ZombieMedic at January 26, 2012 3:50 PM

"If Jackson et al can improve "The Hobbit" like they did "LOTR", I'm all for it."

You sir, are a cad and a mountebank.

Posted by: Protoguy at January 26, 2012 4:13 PM

Will somebody please give that dormouse a BREATHE RIGHT!!

Posted by: Kenny G. at January 26, 2012 6:34 PM

Oh man, I've had a really shitty couple of days, and that dormouse snoring DELIGHTS me. DELIGHT.

Posted by: Slash at January 26, 2012 7:30 PM

What does it say about me that the only thing i could pay attention to in the article about The Hobbit was the fact that the author consistently switched the "O" and the "A" in Legolas? and that I alerted them to this fact by posting:

"Legolas not Legalos. He's an elf, not a Greek deli owner."

Posted by: Matty at January 26, 2012 11:59 PM

OK, I'm gonna say this and get it over with: A hot ass ain't nothing special. It's the one part of the sexual-attractiveness anatomy that most woman could most easily improve without surgery (with some glute-specific workouts). I say, MOST women could have a fairly hot ass, or at least not a bad one, if they really wanted to. Many women already do, and they're not even trying.

But an excellent natural rack? That is a gift from the Godz.

Posted by: , at January 27, 2012 1:52 AM

If you look at the dormouse upside down... it looks like a yellow human face. Creepy.

Posted by: Gemma at January 27, 2012 9:35 AM