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Dear Charlie Sheen, Allow Me To Define "Winning" and "Goddesses" For You. Sincerely, Paul Rudd.

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | March 3, 2011 |


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Today marks my two month anniversary as your Link Wench and so I want to say to everyone "cheers! ta! booyah!" Thanks for sending me links, giving me ideas and being generally fabulous. You kids are the greatest. You know who else is the greatest? Paul Rudd. I know you pretty much knew that, but here he is at the Independent Spirit Awards being an adorable slice of ham in a tasty Rosario Dawson/Eva Mendes sandwich. I want to go to there. (Buzzfeed)

You know where else I want to go? Cincinnati. Because Ryan Gosling is all up in that city right now, first at the aquarium and now at the zoo doing his impression of Andy Samberg's impression of Mark Whalberg. (Film Drunk)

So that's two delectable links about delectable fellas. Now we get to the deplorable portion of the P. Love. That's right. It's a mini-Sheen round up. The man is unavoidable right now, so here are the very best links I could. Some Warlocks have threatened to put a binding spell on Charlie Sheen to stop him from. . . defaming Warlocks. My dear Warlocks, can you just stop him from talking in general? I would appreciate it ever so much. Witchy kisses, Joanna. (The Boston Channel)

Someone has reimagined Ron Swanson's Pyramid of Greatness with key Sheen quotes/ideas/maxims/philosophies/isthismantryingtostartareligion? (Warming Glow)

And, finally, I really dig this "Ghosts of Sitcoms Past" sketch in general, but particularly for its inclusion of Sheen. One can only hope. I had fun trying to name the others. Jackée!!! (National Post)

And that's it, all the Sheen news I can stomach! Let's wash that taste out of our mouths with some comfort food. The boys over at Gastrolab attempt to improve upon the classic grilled cheese. While they don't employ the old clothes iron technique, they do use double the cheese and some bacon. So I'm okay with it. (Slate)

Speaking of hot cheese, while the Wisconsin dissenters may be experiencing warm fuzzy feelings towards the police, they are feeling distinctly frosty towards certain Republican state senators. You know what that means? RECALL. OH SNAP! SH*T JUST GOT REAL. There's a law in Wisconsin that you have to have held your position for a year before you can be recalled so, um, watch your back in like a year, Gov. Walker. (Think Progress)

You know who I have warm fuzzy feelings for? Nicholas Hoult. If you don't know the name, maybe you remember his cherubic face from About A Boy? It looked something like this:

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Okay, but since then, in case you haven't seen the British "Skins" or A Single Man the kid drank ALL his milk and ate ALL his Wheaties and now looks like this:

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For some unjust/ungodly/unholy reason (I blame Sheen) Hoult's next two projects will put that diamond puss under disfiguring make-up first as Beast in the new X-Men movie and then as a zombie in the Romcom, Warm Bodies. Listen, kittens, you keep complaining about there being nothing new in Hollywood, eventually you get a Zombie Romcom. (Slash Film)

Speaking of braaaaaaains and romance, what's more romantical than trying to play a video game while smooching your lady love? Pretty much everything it turns out. Check out this very disturbing/completely kick ass video game technology that involves your tongue. (Laughing Squid)

Rejoice, nerds, author George RR Martin has announced a release date for the long awaited new installment in his "Game of Thrones" series. (Shelf Life)

Check out this cool round-up of movie bumpers. Seeing that old TRISTAR horse made my heart go boom boom boom. (UGO)

So some Midwestern dad made his kid a giant Imperial Walker out of snow. OH YEAH? My dad used to do that thingie with pancakes where it sort of looks like Mickey Mouse if you don't mess it up too badly! So, um, I'm not jealous at all, Midwestern kid! (Unreality)

And, finally, I leave you with this nifty National Geographic video on what is typical about the human race. As I said, my doves, I find you wholly atypical. . .and I like it.

Joanna Robinson once won a Grilled Cheese Making Contest. If you want to know her secret recipe, you can email her here: godtopuswept@gmail.com or tweet/twit/troth her @quityourJRob



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