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Christina Hendricks Brings New Meaning To "Top Shelf"

By Joanna Robinson | Pajiba Love | July 12, 2012 | Comments ()


top shelf.jpeg

First of all, friends, bromans, countrymen, can we discuss this new cover of "W" magazine? I'm on record as not being a fan of the slimy, greasy cover photos but I'm tempted to make an exception for Fassbender and Theron. That being said, I cannot condone, support or underwrite whatever is going on atop Mike's head. They gave him Alan Thicke hair. (Celebitchy
fassy12.jpeg)

Speaking of sad coiffures, as delightful as Christina Hendricks looks in this and any promo she's done for Johnny Walker, I feel like the stylists forgot to do her hair...mayhap, perchance they were distracted by something? (Daily Mail)

As Dustin mentioned earlier today, Channing Tatum is gearing up for an Evel Knievel biopic. But, even better, he's promised that he's working on a "bigger" Magic Mike sequel. MOAR BOOTY POPS?! (Cinema Blend)

Oh Heavens to Betsy, a new site enables you to check out what Twitter looked like in its first year. It's like the most superficial and culturally irrelevant archeology project ever! (Laughing Squid)

Hey, fake news addicts, wonder why "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" are no longer available online? You can blame Viacom and DirectTV. You too, "iCarly" fans. (WG)

I'm sure some of you are sad you're not at Comic-Con. "I'm missing so much!!"
"Like this rad Princess Mononoke poster!" "OH THE HUMANITY!!" Yeah, okay, but think about what you're NOT missing. Like the smell of the sweaty masses and the violent swag mobs. You heard me. VIOLENT SWAG MOBS. Josh Kurp reports while nursing a black eye. (Uproxx)

Though this Seussian version of "Breaking Bad" would be better with illustrations, you have to admire the part where they rhyme "murky" with "Albuquerque." (Unreality)

This is, hands down the most self-aware and good-humored tattoo I have ever seen. Bravo to this dude. (BioTV)

Wanna see Jason Segel hang out with Matilda Ledger? It's like cuddles for your eyeballs. Also? That little girl look so much like Heath it hurts. (Lainey)

And while I try to keep hip with the geeky pop-culture you kids are into these days, I can't really understand the "My Little Pony" revival. That being said, I would like a Giger pony. I would snuggle it and call it b!^@h. (Neatorama)

This legal breakdown of Jay-Z's "99 Problems" is not only hilarious, it's educational. For instance, I never knew the b!^@h referenced in the song was a drug term rather than a woman. THE MORE YOU KNOW, GUYS. (SLU)

And as we inch ever closer to the release of Nolan's final Batman film, here's a look at the evolution of Batman over the last 70 years. And, for your supercut pleasure, here's a whole mess o' people claiming to be Batman. Is it wrong that Jim Carrey is my favorite? I miss you, 1995.

Joanna Robinson won a Jim Carrey as the Riddler poster at the Marin County Fair in 1995. She kept it longer than she should have.


Pictures, Paparazzi and Pleasantries: Do Celebrities Owe Us Anything? | 5 Shows After Dark 7/12/12


Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Every time you do, Bill Murray crashes a wedding.


Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • SaBrinaStillHatesDisqus

    HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE CARE ABOUT BOOBS AT A TIME LIKE THIS? THERE IS A LEGAL ANALYSIS OF THE FOURTH AMENDMENT RIGHTS ISSUES BROUGHT UP IN 99 PROBLEMS!

    God, it's as if I'm the only one here who used to want to be a lawyer while also driving around singing "but a bitch ain't one."

  • PerpetualIntern

    I know! That is the first ever article from a law review I think I've ever read. And well worth it.

  • Mrs. Julien

    When I saw the Fassha, I thought "WHAT THE??? "and then "JOANNA IS GOING TO BE PISSED! We will be hearing about this today on PLove", and justifiably so. Do they not think we know what he looks like?
    I feel sorry for Hendricks. Huge breasts are uncomfortable. Or so I've always heard,

  • mona_sterling

    That is some bullshit hair on my man Fassy. It's all high and dry and wolfman-like. Yerk.

  • Mrs. Julien

    FasshaIR

  • TheOriginalMRod

    That is a really hot picture of Fassy! RAWR and stuff.

  • Jenne Frisby

    I know this probably makes me a horrible person, but I can't feel good about Michelle Williams and Jason Segal. Mostly because she's marketed herself for years now as a lost little girl in perpetual mourning. It was totally justifiable for a long time; maybe she and Heath were soul-mates and a part of her now will always be missing. But the way she's presented is less wistful mourning and inner strength and more just emotionally juvenile. It makes me wonder about him, too.

  • no one

    I realize that when people look at a picture of Christina Hendricks the first thing you look at isn’t her face. But look at her face in that header image. It looks like it was slapped together out of left over mismatched parts.

  • Ginger

    Are You People seriously complaining about Fassbender, Hendricks and boob puns? ARE YOU NEW HERE?

  • Shazza

    I know this site loves Christina but her boobs always look painful to me.

  • lowercase_ryan

    so does her husband

  • Tinkerville

    I'm sorry, Joanna, but the more everyone tells me how sexy and amazing Michael Fassbender is, the more I dislike him. He seems talented, but i.. I just don't get him.

    *runs for the hills*

  • Anne AT Large

    I never got it until I saw him do an interview with somebody in his real accent and turn on the charm. I don't see it on paper but that interview was a lightbulb moment.

  • Orleanas

    I thought it was just me. I don't get the Fassbender mania on this site.

  • Maguita NYC

    I'm with you on that one.
    He IS a good actor. Impressive even (no pun as to his girth), but I find nothing attractive, or even remotely hot about that man!
    His face is just... Full of disgusting, Caligula-like degradation. Dude has seen and done too much already. Can't help but... ewwww at him.

  • John G.

    Yeah, it's not so much everyone as it is Joanna finds a way to mention Fassbender on ever post she does.

  • Artemis

    Maybe just once there could be a reference to Christina Hendricks that didn't involve her breasts? Like, maybe if the title of the post was a pun about her boobs, the description of the story you're linking to could talk about something--anything--else. Or if you really wanted to stretch yourself, you could (*gasp*) not mention her breasts at all!

  • Stump

    Joanna is a hack. 50% of what she does is post CH boob pictures, 50% is other people's boobs. I saw her write a review once whch was decent, but apparently she would rather pander like a moron than work hard.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Oh sure. First you don't mention breasts once. Then Joanna gets Courtney to try the new fad of "not mentioning breasts", who tells Rob, who tells SLW...and before you know it, Dustin stops being bi-curious and we're back to calling him Channing! It's a damned slippery slope we're jumping onto here.

    To borrow a borrowed quote Josh used in the Comic-Con article - won't somebody please think of the children!*

    *We are all the children.

  • Maguita NYC

    Please note that the new socially acceptable, and considerate word for Dustin's bi-curiosity is "heteroflexible".

    Not that I know anything about Dustin's heteroflexibility...

  • Maguita NYC

    This would freak out Christina Hendricks so very much!
    When not mentioning her cushioning and milky bosoms, this could be misconstrued as her shining star on the fall.
    Please, do not freak Christina so. 'Tis heartless.

  • BierceAmbrose

    VIOLENT SWAG MOBS - nerdcore / punk revival band, sort of DEVO / Ramones / Clash hybrid.

    VIOLENT SWAG MOBS - down-tempo / lounge by way of Fagan / Becker.

    How about both, same personnel & they alternate who opens for who.

    I once heard a band called "Neon Baptist" that did - not kidding here - "Cow Punk." It got less "cow" and more "punk" as they got drunker, but it was glorious.

  • John G.

    Breaking news! Christina Hendricks went to a party.

  • thaneofmemphis

    Do you think Christina's dress is off the rack?

    I don't know, but I wish it was.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Kinda funny we got the debate about paparazzi on another post, and on this one we've got links to a celebrity's kid...

  • Nimue

    You pretty much read my mind.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    But not funny "ha-ha"

  • GunNut2600

    Surprised no mention of the Freeh report. Even if you don't follow college football, its pretty darn...horrifying the institutional corruption that allowed Sandusky to select, groom, and abuse his victims.

  • idiosynchronic

    When the NCAA ban comes down, I hope all those Penn State defenders look into their hearts and realize the corruption of this program has affected them as well.

    While the 1986 SMU Death Penalty was effective, and proportionate to the violations, actual multiple felony crimes were committed by Sandusky and the staff covering for Penn State athletics. These people - the coaches, administrators and boosters - are so ingrained into the school, they need to die away or move on from the institution. It's going to take a generational shift longer than 4 years to kill this corruption and these apologetics.

    One decade ban, minimum, or a permanent lifetime ban.

  • Az

    They should all be charged, at the very least, with aiding and abetting. It's beyond disgusting.

  • GunNut2600

    What is really disturbing is how the school is facing some serious legal problems all because the school placed football above all us. I mean we are talking losing accreditation and the rank and file students could lose their federal aid.

  • annie

    I love camp cartoon Batman.

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