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Chris Pratt Is an Expert at French Braids, Appreciates His Wife and Might Be the Best Husband Ever

By Cindy Davis | Pajiba Love | July 9, 2014 | Comments ()


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Skynet’s gone sexy, yo. How’d you like to have a remote control microchip that provides auto-birth control? Hot damn, technology might just be great…at least until the white-haired geezer-crew finds a way to hack us. (The Mary Sue)

On the 25th Anniversary of the show, Mike Ryan writes about the controversial Seinfeld episode that involved Elaine purchasing a gun and joking about pulling “a Kennedy” that never aired. It also featured Kramer’s original first name. (It wasn’t supposed to be Cosmo). (Screencrush)

George R. R. Martin has a little something to say to those of you who don’t think he’ll finish writing the Song of Ice and Fire series. Hint: It’s a gesture. (Uproxx)

Halle Berry and Jimmy Fallon grabbed each others’ ankles and rolled across the floor like a human hamster wheel. Yeah, you read that right, but you need to see it to get that proper head scratch going. (Vulture)

Bryan Fuller promises David Tennant (who was beat out by Mads) will appear on Hannibal at some point, and that David Bowie will be approached to guest star “every season.” (Digital Spy, H/T Resa)

Director Matt Reeves’ first film was an 8mm Star Wars/Planet of the Apes mash-up called Galactic Battles; my kind of guy. (Slashfilm)

Chris Pratt would like to think he has it in him to be a hero; french braiding his wife’s hair, picks up after his son (after realizing Anna had been doing it all), and appreciates Anna’s sense of humor — dude, you’re on your way. (Celebitchy)

Courtney Love turned 50 today, and Kurt Sutter gifted her a Sons of Anarchy role. (Dlisted)

What is the deal with the Internet’s Celebrity Feet Obsession? (Warming Glow)

You might not have realized just how much of Game of Thrones is visual effects; Macklevision’s Season 4 VFX video is a pretty cool reveal. (via Sploid)

You killed our Red Viper, prepare to die! The Dornish casting call for a GoT Spain shoot went out, attracting over 10,000 people looking to be Season 5 extras. (The Hollywood Reporter)

These are great: Turn your old movie ticket stubs into pillows. (First Showing)

Sweet: A gorgeous embroidered Calvin and Hobbes scene. (Unreality)

Diane Kruger can get away with a lot of things no one else could possibly wear, and this is no exception. Hey, how about those Germans! (Go Fug Yourself )

Speaking of…Germany vs. Brazil in 11 Seconds (via The High Definite):

Cindy Davis, (Twitter) may be singing Ein Prosit.




As Reports that Eva Mendes is Pregnant with Ryan Gosling's Baby Surface, We Commiserate Over the Loss of 5 Perfect Celebrity Couples | Christopher Nolan's Rant Against the Film Industry Is a Perfect Jewel of Crotchety, Snobby Nonsense






Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Every time you do, Bill Murray crashes a wedding.


Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Three_nineteen

    No, no, Mr. Martin, please - fuck YOU.

  • Kirstini

    Diane Kruger! I missed Diane Kruger AND Pacey off my Pajiba 10.

  • BendinIntheWind

    My love for Chris Pratt started a few years ago when I was reading some interview he did over the phone. He was answering the journalist's question and literally stopped mid-sentence to yell "Aw, thank you honey!", apologized for interrupting, and then explained "My wonderful wife just brought me a plate of sausage!"

    I love them. They need to be front and center on the Perfect Celebrity Couples list.

  • Luke Anthony Matthews

    Martin can give us the finger all he wants, as long as he does it from a treadmill.

  • BlackRabbit

    As long as Tennant isn't going to be Dolarhyde. He just doesn't fit it.

  • Zirza

    I can see him as Jaime Gumb, though. Or maybe Paul Krendler?

  • Ozioma

    David Tennant AND David Bowie? To share screentime with Mads Mikkelsen?

    ...If they manage to steal Lee Pace from H&CF, the Fannibals are going to combust.

  • Zirza

    Just the thought is making my head spin (exorcist-style) and I have never even seen Pushing Daisies.

    I must get a Tumblr account sometime. I'm better off in the wild with my own kind.

  • Ryan Ambrose

    This sounds like a deliberately engineered plan to crash Tumblr.

    And I'm perfectly fine with it.

    On a sidenote H&CF had some wonderful character development last sunday, and Joe did not even break anything in a tantrum.

  • I think if someone or something did crash Tumblr, society as a whole would be better off for it.

  • emmalita

    And be damn happy about it.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I feel a little mean for laughing out loud at that Brazil video, but only a little.

  • FrayedMachine

    God. Chris Pratt and Chris Evans are two Chrises I can't deal with because they're both annoyingly attractive and both seem like annoyingly great people UGH. Life is so hard

  • BendinIntheWind

    I read the first half of your comment, prepared for punching, then finished reading and calmed down in agreement.

  • Ozioma

    I keep seeing snippets of Chris Evans' interview and end up holding myself from punching my laptop screen because goddamnit, how does a man that looks like that be so golden-hearted at the same time.

  • FrayedMachine

    I am so glad I'm not the only one. He's seems so ... so... SO PRECIOUS UGH

  • Ozioma

    Literally too precious for words. How dare Marvel find all these adorkable people for their movies.

  • FrayedMachine

    Marvel did an obnoxiously good job with their casting. Pretty much everyone they casted for those movies is the actual character they play in every day life. I would not be surprised if Chris Evans suddenly revealed that he was actually Captain America and Robert Downey, Jr. is one mega corporation and robot suit away from being Iron Man. Jeez. JEEZ.

  • emmalita

    For those of us who love British panel shows, big news today. Rhod Gilbert will be the permanent host for Never Mind the Buzzcocks. Yay! To celebrate, here is his first guest host appearance. https://www.youtube.com/watch?...

  • Zirza

    I...don't like Rhod Gilbert.

    INDIGNANT INTERNET COMMENT.

    I'll get over it.

  • emmalita

    I'm just happy you have an opinion.

  • cox

    it's like i spent a year winding you up and now you are off going all by yourself. im so, so proud. first connie, than you breaking bbc news to me. so, so proud.

  • emmalita

    So long as I'm not soloing.

  • Tinkerville

    I love it when my silly celebrity crushes are justified by them being actual decent people, so I'm happy to hear my Chris Pratt infatuation can continue per usual.

    Are any other Pajibans World Cup fanatics? T'would be fun to discuss all this madness with fellow Godtopus worshippers.

  • Ryan Ambrose

    Those monsters...

    <img>http://i.imgur.com/OzDvvaw.png...

  • Maguita NYC

    ... Do you know how the Cup was created?

  • Valhallaback Girl

    This? Do I win?

  • Maguita NYC

    All the wins!

  • Valhallaback Girl

    I feel that there should be at least one mention of yesterday's match because as a Oranje fan, that match was intensely fun to watch.

    Hup.

  • Zirza

    ORANJE BOVEN

    I laughed when I saw that match against Germany. Then I panicked.

  • Valhallaback Girl

    Holland: you win today.
    Argentina: no, YOU win today.

  • Tinkerville

    Best of luck today! I've been dying to see a Germany-Netherlands final from the start, so I'll be rooting for you this afternoon.

  • Maguita NYC

    Sorry @valhallabackgirl:disqus, I'm rooting for Germany! I'm just hoping for something less polite if it ever comes down to those two in the finals: Would someone please lose their cool for just one second.

  • Valhallaback Girl

    I'll allow it. We gotta win today first. Soooooo, you know, that.

  • Maguita NYC

    I'll be rooting for you!

    People think Germany against Netherlands would be too boring, I strongly disagree. Tempers are just simmering under the polite surface...

  • Valhallaback Girl

    And let's be honest, both languages sound fucking fantastic whilst being yelled during a match. It's what Dutch and German languages were made for

  • Maguita NYC

    I so absolutely agree! My ex was German, and his love words sounded to my genteel ears (shut-up!) like rough sex on an elephant trail ride.

  • Valhallaback Girl

    Same with the Dutch ex's. Ride that godverdomme to #town

  • Zirza

    Four years ago, after the final against Spain, upon walking home I spotted a grown man sitting on a bench, crying his eyes out. He screamed GODVERDOMME DIE KUT-OCTOPUS at me.

    It was fantastic.

  • Maguita NYC

    Heeeee. #GesundheitToFinishLine... or would that be Finnish line in your case?

  • Valhallaback Girl

    A pajiba flower for you my dear

  • Maguita NYC

    Wootwoot! or is it hoera?

  • Valhallaback Girl

    #GPOY

    Thanks!!!

  • Maguita NYC

    Also, the new Brazilian flag (with sincere apologies to Brazil)

  • Ryan Ambrose

    That match was disheartening to watch.

    It was as if an entire nation were witnessing The Redding Wedding simultaneously.

  • Maguita NYC

    Funny, someone posted something along those lines...

    ETA: I understand what you mean. By the third goal, we were screaming for it made us breathe easy (a win seemed more possible with that goal), but then the 5th, the 6th... We were watching with a bit of horror.

  • Ryan Ambrose

    Yesterday's schadenfreude lends itself perfectly to some GoT-inspired humour, it's how I've been coping so far at least. *sobs*

  • Maguita NYC

    For those who haven't watched the game, DO YOU KNOW BY HOW MUCH BRAZIL LOST TO GERMANY??!

  • Kris

    As a nation, Brazil needs to change its name and go to a different school now.

  • TraceAndM

    They only lost by a BRAZILLIAN or so goals.

    This has been my favorite joke all damn day.

  • Maguita NYC

    Also, do you know how many people CRIED that day?

    A Brazilian!

  • My deep and abiding love of puns cancels out my deep and abiding dislike of soccer, so you and Trace both get upvotes.

  • stella

    I heard. Ouch.

  • Maguita NYC

    It hurt so bad to watch!

    I kept praying Germany would give in a bit, so not to COMPLETELY wipe the floor with their faces... even if I'm a fan of Neuer, I wanted him to just let one pass. A pity goal.

  • Tinkerville

    It was such a mix of thrilling disbelief and utter heartbreak on behalf of Brazil. It got to the point where I thought the new goals were replays of the ones they just scored. I have a feeling that game will already be in the history books.

    And holy crap, Neuer is by far the most entertaining player in this entire WC for me. What a beast. But can we talk about Klose beating the world record? Because, YES!

  • Maguita NYC

    Neuer has been my favorite ever since South Africa in 2010.

    You can't help but compare his cool control to the other goalkeepers, what with their screaming and pointing at their teammates during crucial games, but not my Manuel.

    He's just too hot. Ice hot.

  • Tinkerville

    "That was just an automatic reaction. The defence did a good job and stood compactly. I just had to keep the near corner closed off. If it would have gone in it would have been a goalkeeper's mistake." --Neuer on his crazy stoppage time save in the game against France. This guy is pure class, talent, and coolness.

  • Maguita NYC

    *Panties gone poof, lions roaring... might be a bit of splooshing.

    The more he is calm, the less I obviously am. I cannot wait to see him in the finals. Hope he keeps his cool all the way through.

  • Valhallaback Girl

    It's like our vaginas should put on lipstick to watch him play.

  • Maguita NYC

    ... Waterproof lipstick...

  • Valhallaback Girl

    There's a photo I desperately want to post but it's intensely NSFW.

    BUT it involves Sasha Grey and a gang bang. I think you know where that is headed...

  • Maguita NYC

    ... I've watched some of that particular... action, and to be quite fair, Sasha Grey has shown more control of the ball than Brazil had ever during that particular game.

    http://oi48.tinypic.com/qp5tsy...

  • Valhallaback Girl

    Better ball control and blocking, yes.

  • Tinkerville

    Porn Hub had a witty tweet about not accepting anymore uploads of the game as their "public humiliation" category was full. I felt bad for laughing.

  • "A friend of mine who is also an Internet writer often likes to point out that, in the autocomplete feature of Google’s search box, if you type in any female celebrity’s name, one of the top five suggestions for a good 80 to 90 percent of female celebrities will always be their name + feet."

    With the anonymity that sentence provides, I can safely admit that this was totally TK.

  • I noticed that my own self and I've never really understood what the deal is. It's weird and kind of creepy.

  • Mrs. Julien

    [bracing self for the Chris Pratt cat brouhaha]
    [impressed with myself that I spelled brouhaha correctly on the first try]

  • Mythra Sun

    I know. Everytime there is an article on him, i am waiting for the cat fiasco to be brought up again. I mean, I am a cat lover (that's one of my feline babies, Loki, as my avatar) and they are my world. Granted I am not a mother of a human and if i was trying to get pregnant and my cat was sick and was urinating and defecating everywhere, I may have done the same thing as he did. Now the comment about cat people having no life was kind of douchey, but we can all be douchey when we are attacked by internet trolls. I still like him and based on his interviews, he seems like an awesome father and husband. I am also insanely jealous of his braiding skills.

  • Michelle

    Hahaha, my thought exactly.

  • Zirza

    David Tennant on Hannibal?

    I admit it, I squealed.

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