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By Some Miracle, Scarlett Johansson's Chest Is Not The Highlight Of These New Avengers Photos

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (35)



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Though these new Avengers photos aren’t going to knock you on your shapely, spandex-clad ass, they do feature some shiny, greasy bicep porn from Chris Evans and Jeremy Renner. Oh and this BAMF image. (TheMarySue)
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Are we too busy humming “Danke Schoen” to realize how idiotic it is to have a TEASER for a COMMERCIAL? Advertisinception. Regardless, Ferris Bueller is coming to the Superbowl. (Uproxx)

Not that a teaser of a commercial is anywhere near the bottom of the TV stunt barrel. Our very own Dustin has found scraped said bottom and discovered that it’s covered in donkey semen. (Warming Glow)

I’m sorry to do this to you, gentle readers, but I have an all-too-apropos follow up to that last link. And that would be this banned poster of Michael Fassbender’s Shame. (Vulture)

I’ve also got two more sex-related links for you lads and lasses. Listen, our sex columnist Dr. Pisaster is on a little hiatus and someone’s gotta fill that hol-OKAY. First up, these very, very smart and clever and professional scientists have “conclusively proven” that there is no such thing as The G-Spot. They claim to have proven it 1,000%. I said they were scientists, not mathemetists, jeez. (Geekologie) Secondly, Psychology Today has an interesting series of articles on casual sex and whether such a thing actually exists. (Psychology Today

And if casual sex does not exist, then y’all are going to need this site run by Pajiba reader Lexie. Oh yes, ladies and gents, it’s wedding tips. Good ones. (Wedding Lovers Anonymous) As for me, I’m partial to funky/offensive wedding fun like this Jurassic Park-themed Save The Date. (Neatorama)

And now for something that has nothing to do with sex, marriage or Scarlett Johansson’s undercarriage. It’s the Monty Python boys, reunited! Oh, Terry Gilliam, you delightfully toadish man. (/Film)

So I know many of you look down your nose at Twitter. And that’s fine. But it was instrumental, of late, in helping foment and organize certain political movements. That’s why this news that Twitter plans to block certain content in select countries bothers me. Doesn’t surprise me, but it bothers me. (THR)

Speaking of unsurprising technology news, Google seems to think I’m a youngish dude. Ah, yes, that would be all the image searches for nubile starlets. Thanks, Pajiba! Find out what Google thinks of you based on your search history. (Ads Preferences)

Jeepers, Google, maybe I’ve just got a biiig lesbian crush on half of Hollywood. Speaking of homosexuals, New Hampshire is putting forth a new bill that would allow certain establishments and businesses to deny service to gay couples planning to get married. One step forward, two steps back, New Hampshire. (GOOD)

As much as I non-gay love Joseph Gordon-Levitt, the kid has so many talents that do not involve singing. So I wish he would stop singing. Or at the very least, stop singing at the top of his range. Joe, anytime you feel the strain, hey dude, refrain. Here he is sounding a bit cat strangle-y whilst performing a Beatles classic.

Finally, I’ve been trying to include fewer Star Wars links. HAVE YOU NOTICED? You didn’t notice, did you? Anyway, this one is too good to pass over. How Return Of The Jedi should have ended.










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Comments

Re: G-spot spelunking ...

I automatically 1,000% reject anything said by people who unironically use "1,000%" as a probability. Idiots.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at January 27, 2012 2:41 PM

Finally, I’ve been trying to include fewer Star Wars links.

Why the hell would you want to do that?

Posted by: Ghisent at January 27, 2012 2:42 PM

Yay Wedding Link! I'll be checking that one out! There are a lot of us Pajibans planning nuptials this year, aren't there?

Posted by: KatSings at January 27, 2012 3:06 PM

Google thinks I'm a dude, too.

Posted by: nosio at January 27, 2012 3:16 PM

Google thinks I'm a moose-obsessed, maple-drenched, poutine-fucking beaver stalker. Also, Turkish.

Posted by: admin at January 27, 2012 3:17 PM

I prefer business casual sex so I always keep my socks and polo shirt on.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at January 27, 2012 3:21 PM

When in reality you're an obsessed, Turkish fucking, maple-poutine beaver drenched moose. Also, stalker.

If I had a nickel…

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 27, 2012 3:26 PM

I know! Google's code is all kinds of fucked up.

Posted by: admin at January 27, 2012 3:42 PM

None of that makes you people nervous?

Posted by: Jay at January 27, 2012 4:06 PM

Google thinks I'm 10-15 years younger than I really am.

I love Google.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 27, 2012 4:21 PM

"No interest or demographic categories are associated with your ads preferences so far. "

OK, I guess. ??!? I mean, I do search for things on the Google.

Posted by: MM at January 27, 2012 4:32 PM

I love you too, baby. How you doin'?

Posted by: Google at January 27, 2012 4:35 PM

Google thinks I'm a sixty-five year old man. I'm 28. I think I'm gonna start googling the porns and candies and dirt
bikes now.

Posted by: Matty at January 27, 2012 4:37 PM

Google, call me. You know better than anyone what I'm in to....it'll be fun!

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 27, 2012 4:47 PM

I'll show you an Olyphantastic time!

Posted by: Google at January 27, 2012 4:51 PM

I'm getting ads for "Safer Wholesale" on the site today. I'm holding out for "Safest Wholesale"?

I hope it's "wholesale" and not "whorehouse", but I suppose those two could overlap.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 27, 2012 4:53 PM

I'm getting Romney ads, which tells me they don't really know me as well as they thought.

Clears throat. Requests a key of A-sharp

If you don't know me by now.....you will never, never know me....All the things that we've been through.....You should understand me like I understand you

Sorry, Google. It's over.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 27, 2012 5:05 PM

Google ads thinks I'm a 25-34 year old male. Not even close. It might also think I'm a tranny or a shoe fetishist because I'm always getting great ads for high heel shoes (and handbags).

Posted by: Zombie Mrs Smith at January 27, 2012 5:08 PM

Soo....are these the same "scientists" who think that female orgasms are fictional as well? Listen, Poindexter, just because you've never experienced something doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I mean, by that logic, you must think sex is only verifiably something you do by yourself.

And as for the Return of the Jedi vid....Yub, yub, baby. Yub, fucking, yub.

Posted by: NateS1973 at January 27, 2012 5:09 PM

Was that the David Brent version, PaddyDog?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 27, 2012 5:11 PM

Baby, no. Please don't clear my cookies, baby.

Posted by: Google at January 27, 2012 5:11 PM

It's not surprising that Eric Idle would be the holdout on the Python reunion. Well, it wouldn't be surprising if Cleese was, either. But Idle is probably looking for dollar signs.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 27, 2012 5:28 PM

I'm also not inclined to put a lot of faith in someone [Dr Amichai Kilchevsky] who calls the G-spot " a discreet anatomic entity." What, does it clear its throat softly before it points out the mustard stain on your tie?

Fuckin' learn how words work before you let loose on my anatomy, assface.

Posted by: Salieri2 at January 27, 2012 5:37 PM

Google thinks I'm a man on my work computer, and a woman on my home computer. It also thinks I'm 20 years younger than I am (in either gender). I have no idea how I managed that one.

Posted by: PDamian at January 27, 2012 5:37 PM

Ahahahaha!! Google thinks I'm a dude. Too funny. Thanks for this link, JR, it made my day.

Posted by: noodlestein at January 27, 2012 5:42 PM

Mrs. Julien, No, I was thinking more of the Mick Huchnall version. Hence the A-sharp.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 27, 2012 5:42 PM

Wow, Google has me pegged. But a little younger than I actually am. That's a little sad, actually.

Posted by: Lemon Poundcake at January 27, 2012 5:46 PM

Is it a rule that these posts always contain a link to Uproxx? Should I stop reading Uproxx on my own?

Posted by: John G. at January 27, 2012 6:12 PM

Do you have to be logged in for that Google thingy? The site does nothing for me.

Posted by: FabMax at January 27, 2012 6:40 PM

Google says: Cookies are disabled

Your browser's cookies seem to be disabled. Ads Preferences will not work until you enable cookies in your browser.

Haha

Posted by: snapnhiss at January 27, 2012 8:04 PM

Google got my age range right, but it thinks I'm a dude.
I'm wondering if it assumes that anyone who visits mostly nerdy websites is male....

Posted by: DominaNefret at January 27, 2012 10:09 PM

Google has my age range, sex, hobbies and interests all spot-on. I'm a little scared now.

Posted by: MB at January 28, 2012 5:43 AM

Your categories and demographics:
No interest or demographic categories are associated with your ads preferences so far. You can add or edit interests and demographics at any time.

Ha ha. I win.

Posted by: John G. at January 28, 2012 12:44 PM

Military singles & their admirers’ best club_"meet military com"_Lots of handsome guys and sexy women there.Meet your soul-mate today!

Posted by: Joshua at January 28, 2012 9:21 PM

Google thinks I am 25.

Yes. Yes I am.

Posted by: Alexis at January 29, 2012 6:06 PM