Blame It On Franco: Why Must They All Consider Themselves "Artists"?
Shark Week has only just begun, and I’m already tired of it. Isn’t it always Shark Week? Kind of like Truck Month in Oklahoma. (Buzzfeed)
Well, of course Jennifer Aniston decided to forego the spanx at the We’re the Millers movie premiere. Because fueling interest through pregnancy rumors is a lot easier than wholeheartedly promoting a movie. (Go Fug Yourself)
Dustin goes on a bit of a rant about last night’s episode of “The Newsroom.” Damn Sorkin, it sounds like you f*cked up big time. (Warming Glow)
The producers of Fast and Furious 7 reportedly offered Denzel Washington a role, which he duly turned down because he’s, you know, Denzel. I like to imagine he was making this face while doing so. (Film Drunk)
IFC must be nervous about all of those poor reviews for The Canyons, so they’ve released a new trailer scored by Kanye West. (Slashfilm)
Holy hell, look at the outfit that Britney Spears wore to church yesterday. She’s even sporting a convenient “x” between her boobs for your target-shooting pleasure. How thoughtful. (DListed)
At least one of these photos from of the world’s most amazing staircases will give you vertigo. You have been warned. (Mental Floss)
Even though I’m so over Star Wars (and have felt that way since elementary school), I have to admit that this Princess Leia noir-styled poster is pretty cool. (The Mary Sue)
The British government won’t let Kelly Clarkson take Jane Austen’s ring out of the country even though she properly won it at auction. (AV Club)
Can you imagine if “Perfect Strangers” would have turned Balki into a sociopathic roommate? The show would been better for it but only if they included the “dance of joy” immediately after the revelation. Here are another 20 imagined plot twists of various shows. (Cracked)
Natasha Lyonne, fresh off her new Orange is the New Black, takes us an an apartment-hunting adventure. “Welcome to fucking Brooklyn. Does anyone over 50 live here?” (Vulture)
Amber Heard is merely the latest offender in an endless stream of young actors who pull the “I want to be an artist … I don’t want to be a celebrity” card. Sadly, the body of work is usually not there to support these claims, but I could be wrong when it comes to Amber. Or maybe not. (Celebitchy)
The new Machete Kills trailer is highly confusing. Lady Gaga dresses as Cuba Gooding Jr.? (Film School Rejects)
Good news for Michael Vick — there’s still one way to relive his own glory days. (Kotaku)
A friendly reminder to those who want to participate: The Cannonball Read’s book club is being held this Wednesdays, so get your book read. Details here.
A hipster dude named Graham Hughes has travelled to every country in the world and made a video with one second dedicated to each country. Sadly, I am far too distracted by his ever-changing facial hair to appreciate the scenery.
Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa. She & her little black heart can be found at celebitchy.com.
Pajiba Love Express
Here's some Daveed Diggs for you. On Daveed Diggs' digs, actually. That man does things with clothes that should not make sense, but are absolutely perfect. (Go Fug Yourself)
Woody Allen has "so moved on" from his daughter's accusations and says he never even thinks about it. He equates her words about him to a bad review he won't read and comments on how wacky it is that Mia Farrow is his mother-in-law. He is the worst. (Celebitchy)
Not The Worst but still very gross: Leonardo DiCaprio and his
Here are 5 under-the-radar shows. I had never even heard of the first two. (Uproxx)