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Ben Stiller To Get His Unfunny Monkey Paws All Over One Of England's Finest Exports

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (41)

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Okay you grinches, relax, it’s only 19 days until Christmas, soon the merriment and holly jolliness will stop. But until then. CALVIN AND HOBBES CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS! (The High Definite)

Speaking of grinches, our very own Dustin has thoughtfully compiled a list of TV Christmas specials including that delightful Karloffian one. All channels and times are provided. Maybe this will be the year I finally watch one of those claymation Vinton movies. (It won’t be. Bah humbug.) (Warming Glow)

Finally, check out this fantastic snitch ornament that even *I* could make. Oh, sure, fine, I’ll obviously end up with glitter glued to somewhere awkward, but still. (Tiny Apartment Crafts)
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Speaking of crafting, you may have heard about the way Paypal is attempting to grinch Regretsy out of a fundraiser for folks in need. The story is ridiculous and this version of it is my favorite. With humorous recaps and some very fine points. (The Green Geeks)

Okay, this may sound rather snobbish of me, but if you haven’t heard of Richard Ayoade please please please check out his previous work (“The IT Crowd,” “The Mighty Boosh”) before this completely stupid Ben Stiller Neighborhood Watch vehicle comes out. I really really don’t want him to be known as “The Guy Who’s Not Vince Vaughn Or Jonah Hill.” (Den Of Geek)

As part of their ongoing “Award Worthy” series, THR rounded up the actors who have made a splash in 2011. There’s one conspicuous Irish/German absence, but otherwise, it’s a solid group of talent. (/Film)

Is it wrong that I hope these flirtatious red carpet photos of Lea Michele and Ashton Kutcher presage what might be the Most Unbearable Couple In Hollywood History? I wish there was a word to describe the pleasure I feel at their misfortune. (Celebitchy)

Speaking of Hollywood Couples, this tumblr of “Old Loves” is a delight. There are several pairings on here I had forgotten existed. Gary Oldman and Uma Thurman, really? And then there are some that are fascinating to revisit. Like, remember when Ryan Phillipe was allowed to do that to Reese Witherspoon’s face? (Old Loves)
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Our man Daniel Carlson wrote a lovely piece on “5 Things We’ll Miss About Community.” Come for the in-depth characters analysis. Stay for Annie’s Boobs. (Houston Press)

You know I’m not a comic book nerd, but even I think these animated comic book covers are boss. (Unreality)

Okay, listen, if you want to go to the movies, turn your phone off. Put it away. I don’t want to see its screen for the next two hours or so. Yes, well-dressed man sitting next to me at Shame, I mean you. I expect it from the teenagers at Breaking Dawn, but not from you. Well score one for the Idiocracy because some movie theater will soon be offering “Twitter seats” for those who feel the need to stay hooked in during a screening. YOU ARE LETTING THE TWITTERISTS WIN. (Moviefone)

Finally, if you’ve ever felt overcome with rage, here’s a supercut for you. It’s 70 instances of film characters saying “Sit down, shut up” and it’s oddly cathartic. Who’s your favorite? Mine has to be Farina.









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Comments

I need those Calvin and Hobbes decorations. I really do. Trade someone for a cross-stitch?

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at December 6, 2011 1:27 PM

Oh, non-charities can totally use the donate button, just not for charity. You can raise money to help your sick cat, for example, but not poor people.

My mind is still reeling over the fact that this was actually said by a PayPal representative regarding money going towards needy families at Christmas. I hope that someone is crafting a special circle of hell for these people. Un-freaking-believable.

Posted by: beckster at December 6, 2011 1:28 PM

Stiller is one of those people I would happily punch in the face.

Posted by: sunny at December 6, 2011 1:30 PM

OH MY GOD. Those Calvin and Hobbes decorations are the BEST. My dad used to drive us to his work friend's house to see his stuff every year-he would create animatronic wooden cutouts of Muppet Babies, Smurfs, the Peanuts gang, etc etc for his lawn. With Christmas lights and music and everything. And he'd dress up as Santa and give out candy canes. I wonder sometimes if he still goes to all that trouble.

Posted by: Julie at December 6, 2011 1:31 PM

Ok, that snitch ornament is adorable. And the Regretsy thing was SUCH a fiasco that I'll be shocked if it isn't covered in marketing classes very soon.

Posted by: SeaKat at December 6, 2011 1:31 PM

I saw the snitch ornament somewhere yesterday, and my brain said, "YOU COULD MAKE THAT!". But then my eyes saw the wings and told my brain to shutup and inform my stomach that we needed a higher ice cream intake. In summary, Ben Stiller probably does need punched in the face.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at December 6, 2011 1:40 PM

I've always always always wanted to do a snowman massacre on my front lawn. I will, if I ever live somewhere with snow.

Posted by: Ginger at December 6, 2011 1:41 PM

SeaKat, PayPal's guaranteed that with their non-apology. Blame the victim? Check. Lie about what happened? Check. Refuse to change any documentation to clarify policies that don't exist? Check. Shut down communication after being called out for their non-apology? Check.

Posted by: Robert at December 6, 2011 1:41 PM

I just coincidentally saw that Regretsy / Paypal thing last night, and, what can I say, this is a fucked up world we're living in. Up is down, black is white, etc. etc.

That's just FUCKED UP.

Sigh.

Posted by: MM at December 6, 2011 1:44 PM

Oh man, Jack Nicholson and Anjelica Huston. They were my FAVORITE.

Posted by: Ginger at December 6, 2011 1:47 PM

I'm totally making some snitch ornaments for my brother this year. He will love something like that.

If Paypal wants to salvage their reputation, they'll just let Regretsy give money to poor people. A fiasco like that with a site as widely-loved (or loved-to-hate) as Regretsy has the potential to do sone reputation damage.

Also? Uma? Way to step down.

Posted by: stardust at December 6, 2011 1:58 PM

I can't even look at those pictures of Kutcher and Lea Michelle without cringing. It's just too much ew in one place, and my lunch hasn't had enough time to digest yet.

Posted by: Kolby at December 6, 2011 2:04 PM

Never realized how fame-whorish Lea Michelle looked until those pictures. huh....

Posted by: Lucas at December 6, 2011 2:08 PM

Richard Ayoade only collaborated in "The Mighty Boosh". The Pythonesque majesty of that series is all Fielding and Barratt.

Posted by: Pants at December 6, 2011 2:08 PM

That snitch ornament is so cute! Too bad I lack the basic crafting gene. I'd end up stapling my finger to something (even if it doesn't require staples to make).

Thank you for the "Old Loves" link, JoRo. I'll be spending the rest of my afternoon gawking at the babyfaced celebrities. Jude Law in 1995 was just adorable. And that Gary Oldman/Uma Thurman pic! What the hell has happened to that man since the 1990s? He's clearly lived very, very hard to go from looking so... young and fresh to how weathered he looks now.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at December 6, 2011 2:22 PM

Well score one for the Idiocracy because some movie theater will soon be offering “Twitter seats” for those who feel the need to stay hooked in during a screening.

I propose that this new area be situated next to the "Horrible Body Odor seats" and directly in front of the "Loudest Crinkly Food Packaging seats".

Then the napalm...

Posted by: Jast at December 6, 2011 2:23 PM

The so-called "Tweet Seats" being offered in movie theaters is only acceptable if the back three rows of the theater are a dedicated "Brick Throwing Seats" section.

I understand why theaters have special screenings for people with babies...parents need to get the hell out of the house sometimes, and if they didn't they'd likely be arrested later for playing Tether-Baby in their backyards. So I accept they are doing a service to some degree. But this Pro-Twitter section is just allowing assholes to hone their craft.

What's next? How about the 9:30 Big Fart screening with free day-old Wendy's Chilli given out to the first 50 viewers? Or maybe the All Yapping All the Time screenings where you're allowed to yammer endlessly from star to finish and given a discount if you loudly talk about anything other than the movie and in different languages. And hey, we can't forget the Golden Shower at Midnights, can we?

I am so tired of concessions being made to allow people to be continue being pricks. I'd would much sooner give my business to a theater that promised their ushers would smack offenders upside the head with a Mag-Lite if they do anything not related to watching the movie that everyone else paid money to see. Hell, I'd pay IMAX rates to have that kind of peace of mind.

Posted by: bleujayone at December 6, 2011 2:23 PM

Karloff did not deserve to smell my shit! That limey cocksucker can rot in Hell for all I care!

Posted by: Bela "Bah Humbug" Lugosi at December 6, 2011 2:35 PM

I'd would much sooner give my business to a theater that promised their ushers would smack offenders upside the head with a Mag-Lite if they do anything not related to watching the movie that everyone else paid money to see.

Okay? You know what?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L3eeC2IJZs
(as previously seen on P-Love)

Posted by: Jast at December 6, 2011 2:40 PM

That whole Regretsy-PayPal fiasco makes me so glad that I rarely use PayPal. What idiots. Seriously, how stupid do you have to be?

Loved Dan's article on Community. I'm in complete denial about this show going off the air until who knows when.

Posted by: tamatha at December 6, 2011 2:45 PM

Oh, and the Twitter-movie thing? I can't begin to comprehend. Why must I repeatedly be reminded that we're on our way to hell in a hand basket?

Posted by: tamatha at December 6, 2011 2:47 PM

Tonight on Lifetime:
The story of a lonely blogger, a struggle for intimacy, and a how a horribly gone wrong accident in crafting ornaments resulted in a multi-million dollar idea.

The True Story of the Vajazzle!

Posted by: W. E. Coyote at December 6, 2011 2:57 PM

I actually kind of like Ben Stiller, but this situation calls for one line and one line only. Ben Stiller knows nothing of the crunch!

Ok, I lied. Here are some more lines. If you like Richard Ayoade, definitely check out Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, and to a lesser extent Man to Man with Dean Lerner, where he interviews the master of horror himself, Garth Marenghi.

I had heard (possibly here) that there was an American version of The IT Crowd that would have starred Ayoade, but replaced Pajiba approved Chris O'Dowd with equally Pajiba approved Joel McHale as Roy. I now wish this would have happened, if only for the intense Pajiba debate that would have ensued. Too bad the pilot was (apparently) horrible. Also, I liked Chris O'Down before it was cool. So *nyah* (complete with scrunchy face and protruding tongue) to all the rest of yous.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at December 6, 2011 3:13 PM

Richard Ayoade won Best Screenplay for Submarine the other night at the British Independent Film Awards.
Talented guy, I hope American does not ruin him.

Posted by: Jules at December 6, 2011 3:18 PM

OMG MELBIVDEVOE YOU TAKE THAT BACK GARY OLDMAN IS STILL SEXY

Ahem. Sorry about that. I'll...uh...I'll be over here now. Standing quietly. Not ranting like a crazy person.

Posted by: stardust at December 6, 2011 3:25 PM

I'm desperately hoping that the "Twitter seats" are traps, and that as soon as you pull out your cell phone the floor opens up and you plummet into the Hell of Being Cut to Pieces.

Posted by: Ghisent at December 6, 2011 3:37 PM

Haha, peace, stardust! I didn't say he looks bad. Just like he's lived about 50 years worth of life in the 20 years since that photo was taken. I was shocked at how young he looks there. I get a distinctly boy-bandish vibe off him, for some reason, a rather Color-Me-Badd style vibe.

(I'm probably digging myself in deeper here, aren't I?)

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at December 6, 2011 3:40 PM

I have a sudden urge to go adopt two puppies and name one "sit down" and one "shut up"

Posted by: harleymom at December 6, 2011 3:49 PM

As an update to anyone who hasn't heard, PayPal actually lied in their apology. They said they're working with Regretsy/April Winchell to make a donation and unfreeze her account when April hasn't heard squat from PayPal. So they lie about their policies and then lie about how they're going to fix them to try and shut up negative press. It's not that simple, especially with 100,000+ readers who will pursue this until there is resolution for 200 children who were supposed to receive gifts for Christmas they otherwise would not have.

Posted by: Robert at December 6, 2011 4:23 PM

But four of those "specials" are movies!

What the fuck is he playing at?


Christ.

Posted by: Jay at December 6, 2011 4:36 PM

@bluejayone
THaNK ya veddy much!
I piddled. And I'm pretty sure that I'm in complete agreement.

Posted by: Ms MoMo at December 6, 2011 5:29 PM

...They put Oldman, Plummer, and Waltz in one place together at the same time?

Those are LIT'RALLY my top 3 older-men crushes.

BE STILL MY HEART.

Posted by: figgy at December 6, 2011 5:53 PM

Socrates_Johnson, here is the first few minutes of the American version:

http://www.myvidster.com/video/307968/The_IT_Crowd_US_version_Very_strange

Posted by: TheOtherGreg at December 6, 2011 8:04 PM

OH MY GOD. Those Calvin and Hobbes decorations are the BEST.
p.s:if you interested, please check this exciting club for fun seekcasual.com
Thank you very much.

Posted by: kengao at December 6, 2011 10:36 PM

I neeeeed the Calvin and Hobbes decorations. NEED.

Also, a fun Christmas game to play: The Grinch drinking game. Drink every time anyone says "who" and see if you can make it through the Who song at the end without passing out.

Posted by: Even Stevens at December 6, 2011 11:34 PM

Did a Spambot just comment on a story BEFORE pitching us? IS SKYNET finally self aware? How long before the bombs start dropping?

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