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Apparently I Get Off On Foul-Mouthed Actors Because This Bettany Interview Is The Hottest Thing This Side Of Naked Chaucer

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (34)

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RELEASE THE KRAKEN! Er, I mean, RELEASE THE LONG-FORM BIRTH CERTIFICATE! Read it and weep (if you even have functional tear ducts), you *sshole Birthers. Obama’s birth certificate. BAM. BOOM. PDF’D! (White House)

Feeling pretty good, aren’t you, Pajiba Nation? Don’t worry, it won’t last. Check out the most recent XKCD that’s been making the rounds. That Little Mermaid factoid packs a punch to the fish guts.
Movie Ages.jpg

Jurassic Park WAS EIGHTEEN YEARS AGO? Don’t mind me, I’ll just be looking up synonyms for “elderly” in my Thesaurus. (Woot)

Or maybe drown my sorrows in some Punky Brewsters. What? You don’t watch “Parks and Recreation?” For shame! (Tom Haverfoods)

Speaking of television, two faux nerds got in a fight over which character would “win” in “Game of Thrones.” First of all, “win?” Second of all, if they were real nerds, they would have read the books and avoided any and all activity that might cause nose bleeds. Third of all, can any of you account for TK’s whereabouts this weekend? (Warming Glow)

Because, seriously, we Pajibans know how to nerd it up. Dustin and I went head to head on Reject Radio last night. I let him beat me at film news trivia and then we proceeded to dork out about “Doctor Who.” Also, the drinking game rules are as follows: Drink Every Time We Say “Boob.” (Film School Rejects)

If you don’t want to hear us at our dorkiest, then may I suggest checking out the 8 in 8 project put forth by Amanda Palmer, Neil Gaiman, Ben Folds and the tall guy from OK Go? The plan was to record eight songs in eight hours using help from Twitter peeps, etc. They only got six and I believe it took them longer than eight hours, but they’re keeping the name. Also, the song about the squirrel is the best. Also I really dislike Amanda Palmer’s voice. (Amanda Palmer)

I will not comment on how my brain leapt from Amanda Palmer to “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” but I will say that I was terribly excited this morning when I found out one of our readers, SugarKane, is an editor at Socialite Life. They’re a fantastic gossip site and here is her interview with recent “Drag Race” winner Raja. Do you all watch that show? I know Courtney does. (Socialite Life)

Speaking of would-be-ladies, I just found out the etymology of the word vagina and it’s sort of medieval and fantastic. Alas, it will not help you understand the etymology of “Pajiba.” (Online Etymology)

And while we’re on the subject of nether regions, mine are frequently aflame for the lovely and talented Paul Bettany. Here he takes some shots at primadonna actors. That’s just verbal fuel for the fire, Bettany. (Celebitchy)

Remember how I linked an article from the Daily Mail? And you got all mad because it’s a total rag? Well then, you angry, British readers, enjoy this Daily Mail headline generator. My favorite so far: “ARE CYCLISTS STEALING THE IDENTITY OF YOUR DAUGHTERS?” (Daily Mail-o-matic)

But let’s go back to fetching British actors for a moment, shall we? Here is the wonderful Michael Sheen stealing hearts and minds on an Easter-themed talk show. Come for the Blofeld impression, stay for the endearing Welsh accent. (He calls himself James Bland!! He’s so fantastic!)

I leave you today, my darling ones, with a short film by Joaquin Baldwin. This film, which he made as a student at UCLA, won him scads of awards and a job at Disney. I think he earned it. Check it out.

Joanna Robinson would show you her long-form birth certificate but then you would know that she’s as old as Raiders of the Lost Ark. That’s pretty old. Email! Twitter!









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Comments

Read it and weep (if you even have functional tear ducts)

OH SURE! Make fun of the eye infection.

Good day to you Joanna!

I SAID GOOD DAY!

//careens off in a lack of depth perception huff

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 27, 2011 1:13 PM

Black and blue look very good on you.

Posted by: Font Lobster at April 27, 2011 1:20 PM

Yay! I love Ruth Jones!

Dawn French is also awesome, even though she doesn't get to say anything in that clip.

...

oh, and Michael Sheen was funny.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at April 27, 2011 1:26 PM

Hmm, nice to confirm that the Good Witch of the Links is within my xkcd approved dating range.

And the numbers aren't the big eye popping ones from that there chart, but the one that kills me is Return of the King is 8 years old, and Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone came out at the same time as The Fellowship of the Ring. (2001 - ten years ago) Harry freaking Potter is about to finish off a decade of movies. I think I got little off track there. (Ooh shiny...)

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at April 27, 2011 1:35 PM

Great Blofeld bit by Michael Sheen. The wink at about 1:20 was a bit priceless - Blofeld always did strike me as a bit fey.

The Welsh bit was hilarious. "OY!"

My only bit of shame was I misread it - I thought it was Charlie Sheen, not Michael. I'd love to see Charlie Sheen do a Blofeld impression.

Posted by: The Wanderer at April 27, 2011 1:38 PM

Charlie Sheen IS a Blofeld impression.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 27, 2011 1:42 PM

The Daily Mail Headline I got was:

"WILL THE LOONY LEFT TURN TAXPAYERS' MONEY GAY?"

That seems like a real headline you'd see from a lot of "news" outlets these days.

Posted by: Paultera at April 27, 2011 1:53 PM

Thanks for the link to the Daily-Mail-O-Matic. My favourite so far: Is the internet impregnating homeowners? This is parody, but just barely.

Posted by: PaulB at April 27, 2011 1:56 PM

I realized how old I was (once again) when I met a girl named "Ariel."

I say, "Ooo, Ariel? You wouldn't be named after the Little Mermaid, would you? No you couldn't be, that movie came out in like 1989."

"I was born in 1990."

Sigh.

Posted by: Notorious VMG at April 27, 2011 2:02 PM

"WILL FERAL CHILDREN GIVE THE QUEEN CANCER?"

God, I bloody well hope so.

Posted by: Exploding Head Syndrome at April 27, 2011 2:10 PM

JoRo, you and Dustin are so cute! I demand a Pajiba Godtopodcast!

And with the curly hair and beard, I think you need to add Michael Sheen to your list of people who should play hobbits.

Posted by: jM at April 27, 2011 2:12 PM

I'm with jM! We need to hear JoRo saying "Boobquakiness" on a constant basis.

Posted by: Paultera at April 27, 2011 2:21 PM

My favorite:

Will Germans Destroy the Royal Family?

Because there's nothing like really good irony.

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 27, 2011 2:31 PM

Why did they keep mispronouncing the site name on that radio show?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at April 27, 2011 2:38 PM

I want to make sweet, sweet love to your vocal cords, JoRo. Better than Lost, though, eh? I may have to slash your tires for that one. (Or, watch the show. I guess.)

As for JP being 18 years old... That's the only one that doesn't sadden me. Because I get to pull out ye olde The CGI Is Still Awesome In That! card.

Posted by: RobP at April 27, 2011 2:45 PM

It's worth noting that there are now people who were born in the 90's that can legally drink alcohol.

::The More You Know (Will Make You Want to Take Bottles of Pills) Star flies across the screen::

Posted by: branded at April 27, 2011 2:46 PM

Thanks for sucking me back into my Michael Sheen obsession. Now I have to go watch all of the interviews of him on Craig Ferguson.

Posted by: Dizzle at April 27, 2011 2:47 PM

That voodoo video was a bit like the original "9."

Posted by: BWeaves at April 27, 2011 2:48 PM

Yeah, so, I've never heard Pajiba pronounced aloud before. And in my head, I've always said "Pajeeba." And now I learn that it's actually pronounced "Pajaiba"? I'm not sure how I feel about that. Not sure how I feel about that at all.

Posted by: Rob at April 27, 2011 3:16 PM

I've always assumed it was 'Pa-HEE-ba'. Leave me to my shame.

Posted by: PaulB at April 27, 2011 3:32 PM

We've all been there, guys. Nobody likes the real pronunciation.

Posted by: RobP at April 27, 2011 3:45 PM

"I love his interviews, I love his voice, love his ginger, love his corpsey hotness."

Most perfect description of Paul Bettany ever. He's so corpsey hot.

Posted by: Mel C. at April 27, 2011 3:55 PM

THAT'S how it's pronounced? I always thought Dustin's name was pronounced Doo-steen Ro-Lace. Like Robles.

Posted by: Paultera at April 27, 2011 4:08 PM

I always thought Dustin's name was pronounced Doo-steen Ro-Lace.

"You must be Pajiba."
"No, it's pronounced 'Pa-jai-ba.'"
"But they told me it was 'Pa-jee-ba.'"
"Well, they were wrong then, weren't they?"

Posted by: branded at April 27, 2011 4:28 PM

Everybody's already said most of what I want to say, so I'll just echo:

I love Paul Bettany. What a sexy bitch.
I love Michael Sheen. What an adorable funny sexy bitch.

I'll have to listen to the pod-casty thing at home so I can hear all the MISpronunciations of names and such. {wink}

That short film does remind me of the animated "9".

I dunno about Ariel and The Little Mermaid and whatnot, but I'll give ya OLD: Yesterday at work some co-workers brought up Splash (Tom Hanks, Daryl Hannah, mermaids, 1980s) and I was reminiscing about how, after that movie, I was convinced that I would name my future daughter Madison. My friend actually did name the golden retriever puppy she got shortly thereafter Madison. (Dog turned out to be a holy terror, but that's another story.)

Anyway, great link-ies today, JoRo!

Posted by: MM at April 27, 2011 4:42 PM

New South Park tonight.

Get ready for the HUMANCENTiPAD.

Posted by: Recondite at April 27, 2011 5:37 PM

JoRo, you were robbed, that pop quiz was stacked with bizarre obscure movie news for your questions.

I always thought Rowles rhymed with jowls or dolls. this ruins the defamatory limericks i have composed about him.

Posted by: idleprimate at April 27, 2011 6:05 PM

This sniper reloaded ad that refuses to be skipped or closed and essentially blocks the website until I reload five times NEEDS TO DIE.

Posted by: mb at April 27, 2011 9:52 PM

You guys sound great!!

Posted by: denesteak at April 27, 2011 10:27 PM

Wow, that animated film was really good and really sad. Great music score.

Posted by: denesteak at April 27, 2011 10:37 PM

"Dawn French is also awesome"

Yes o yes indeedie-o. I wonder why we have not taken The Vicar Of Dibley apart on Pajiba. I do. I wonder that. I mean we go to town on the writer's foul misconception: "Lame, Actually," but when he does something REALLY really grand (like Vicar) we just ...ignore it?

Earlier today we dissected (mmm, yeah baby) Bourdain and I can't recall that we spend a whole lotta time on him and GOD knows he deserves every drooling inch of scrutiny. (And where was he in the bare chested man post? Has no one seen that godly photo of him naked holding that huge beef bone (really)? God god god.) (Double parentheses!!)

We need some posts about The Vicar. And more Bourdain.

And where the hell is all the Charles Nelson Reilly love, I ask you (totally, creepily serious)?

Posted by: klingonfree at April 27, 2011 11:29 PM

WOW! klingonfree, I hadn't seen that photo of Tony before. You just made my day.

Michael Sheen is rather hobbit-y and that video was fantastic.

Posted by: Uda at April 28, 2011 3:08 AM

Speaking of dead eyes

Posted by: Protoguy at April 28, 2011 5:07 AM

Algunas cosas son realmente agradable de este sitio web, lo disfruto.

Posted by: test 34 at May 26, 2011 2:50 AM