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Anthony Mackie Demeans And Objectifies Ryan Gosling. And It's Delicious.

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (31)



crazy, stupid, love. gosling.jpg

Back in his golden youth, I always thought Jude Law would make the perfect Dorian Gray. His unearthly, arrogant beauty was just the ticket. Well, sun exposure and time have put a few wrinkles in that plan, but, like the ladies of Celebitchy, I am overjoyed that he is finally owning his receding hairline. Bald is still sexy, Jude, Jude, Judey, Judey, Judey, Judey, Waaa! (Celebitchy)

The anti-sex? These “realistic” Beavis and Butthead sculptures. These are such stuff as nightmares are made on. (Buzzfeed)
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Speaking of TV from the 90s, check out this magnificent performance of the “Family Matters” theme from “American Idol” last night. It’s Stefan Urquelle smooth. (Warming Glow)

Read what the smooth as silk Anthony Mackie has to say about his two-time co-star Ryan Gosling. It’s…oddly…tasty. (Vulture)

Speaking of stars you can snack on, my starch enemy, Charming Potato, posed with the lovely Rachel McAdams to promote their Nicholas Sparks sapfest The Vow. Blech, Rachel, you are better than this. The contrast in charisma is staggering, people. (Celebitchy)

The ever-charismatic Will Ferrell has decided to do local beer commercials. For free. (Laughing Squid)

Did you know there is an ice and snow festival every year in China? Me neither! Did you know it is INSANE and rad? It is. (The Big Picture)

Bright lights in an ice castle are one thing, the strobe/neon/nightmare decorations in this NY Fusion restaurant are another. I wouldn’t be able to keep any of their overpriced food down. (Gothamist)

Let’s return to nature’s light show with these jaw-dropping videos of solar eruptions. (National Journal)

And scurry on over to your local bookstore to pick up Jim Henson’s lost story, “Tale of Sand,” now available in graphic novel form. It’s an example of the muppeteer’s weirder side. Cause having a foam frog for a best friend ain’t weird at all. (MentalFloss)

The lovely, talented, wonderful, gorgeous Etta James lost her fight with Leukemia. She will be missed. Here’s a brief collection of some of her greatest songs. “At Last” was ruined forever by The Other Sister, but I can never get enough of her “Stormy Weather.” (The Awl)

And speaking of songs to warm your heart. You’ve no doubt seen the POTUS singing a little (too little!) Al Green. If not, the video is below. If so, the lovely Imani has video of him singing Aretha And Dionne Warwick as well. (ABL)

And, finally, playing the bottom slice to this dreamy dude sandwich, here’s Joel McHale on “Sesame Street.” Yes, ladies and gents, he’s really is that adorable.

[ETA] THIS JUST IN, RALPH FIENNES READING EROTIC VOLDEMORT FAN FIC IN HIS PJ’S. Let’s consider this the pickle to the aforementioned sandwich.









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Comments

These “realistic” Beavis and Butthead sculptures.

Art Garfunkel is going to be pissed!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at January 20, 2012 2:27 PM

"Look honey, Goose eggs!"

Posted by: bleujayone at January 20, 2012 2:28 PM

Oh Joel McHale you are my everything.

Posted by: JenVegas at January 20, 2012 2:30 PM

I need to read/watch more Anthony Mackie interviews.

Posted by: Todd at January 20, 2012 2:31 PM

I hate shows like "Extra" but I'd watch it with Gosling. We could even wear one of those two-person Snuggies.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 20, 2012 2:33 PM

fuck you mchale, i miss you too much you bastard.

Posted by: vaylont at January 20, 2012 2:39 PM

"At Last" is only ruined by The Other Sister if you've WATCHED it.

(I've never seen it, but actually own the chick rock soundtrack, which is decent fun, even with Juliette Lewis)

Posted by: Sara Tonin at January 20, 2012 2:50 PM

A graphic novel based on a Jim Henson screenplay? To the librarian-mobile!

Posted by: Bob Frapples at January 20, 2012 2:50 PM

So, does that answer the Rachel McAdams question you posed a few days back?

I have to give props for the Fire and Ice juxtaposition between the solar flares and the snow and ice festival. Both were amazing, by the bye.

And the POTUS has pipes. Who knew...?

Posted by: NateS1973 at January 20, 2012 2:55 PM

They should objectify each other with their hands. Slowly. And then quickly. And then slooowly.

Posted by: jM at January 20, 2012 3:00 PM

I'm still giggling about "my starch enemy." Thank you for that.

Posted by: VK at January 20, 2012 3:04 PM

Applause to Joanna. You are on fire today. A perfect PJL repast, ma'am. Kudos. Etc.

Posted by: Jerce at January 20, 2012 3:15 PM

I don't know much about this Anthony Mackie person, but I think I'm in love.

Posted by: beckster at January 20, 2012 3:40 PM

Ralph Fiennes in his jimjams is treat enough, but the fan fiction was sublime. I admit myself an occasional fan of fan fiction, specifically HP, but I often shudder at the ships people seem drawn to. Seriously, just look at this list of ship options and see how long before you're gavomiting:
http://www.astronomytower.org/ships/

As to the McHale? The ice sculptures? All made of win and wonder.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at January 20, 2012 3:41 PM

If Tatum tot ever gets picked up for public intoxication, by Godtopus I'm calling him "Loaded Charming Potato."

Posted by: branded at January 20, 2012 3:43 PM

The first time I noticed Anthony Mackie was the morning after the Hurt Locker oscar wins. He was obviously drunk, had obviously been up all night. The first thing he said to Meredith Vieira was, "Hi! You're HOT!" Anthony Mackie should be in ALL the interviews.

Posted by: miss kate at January 20, 2012 4:24 PM

OK, I actually read it... and I am SO on board the Anthony Mackie bandwagon. He's a delicious little petit four. Oh yes he is.

Posted by: MM at January 20, 2012 4:40 PM

branded - if he happened to be stoned at the same time...well, then we'd have a Charming Loaded Baked Potato, now wouldn't we?

"That's exactly right, pineapple!"

Posted by: Bert at January 20, 2012 5:11 PM

That Joel McHale clip has just made my day. IT'S SO DAMMED CUTE IT MAKES ME GO ALL-CAPS.

Posted by: Leelee at January 20, 2012 5:31 PM

I loves me some Joel McHale, but am I the only one who was bothered when he said "cactuses?"

Am I also the only one who found that fanfic creepy?? Could they have picked a more pedophilic excerpt?? I can't believe they made Ralph Fiennes read aloud about The Boy Who Lived getting bad-touched by He Who Must Not be Named -- and liking it.

Word to all the Anthony Mackie love, though.

Posted by: Jelinas at January 20, 2012 5:42 PM

I had to take a mandatory course in "speech," at a community college and one of the assignments was to give speeches extolling the virtues of our favorite hobby/past-time and favorite public figure. I gave a speech on why people should read more science fiction and the awesomeness of Etta James and Classic R&B singers in general.

Personally, I prefer Dinah Washington's version of Stormy Weather but that's like trying to choose between rainbows and unicorns.

Posted by: Feynmangroupie at January 20, 2012 5:48 PM

Puhlease, if Voldemort is going to bone anyone its Bellatrix. Come on people imagine 'Secretary' with more sociopathy and wands.

Posted by: Nieve 'The Threadkiller Queen' at January 20, 2012 6:33 PM

Anthony Mackie makes me think dirty thoughts. Ryan Gosling makes me think naughty thoughts. Anthony talking about eating Ryan makes my brain short-circuit. I'm just going to log off right now, ok? I hope you're all cool with that.

Posted by: Joker at January 20, 2012 7:39 PM

Nieve, you haven't read Voldemort/Lucius Malfoy fanfics, then :). Also, the delights of a Voldemort/Lucius/Severus threesome fanfiction are not even on your fanfictional horizon yet. Let me tell you, I've been there. It was very disturbing but and oddly pleasant. A little like listening and seeing the poor Mr Fiennes (in what are probably the cat's pajamas and superduper fluff shoes) cringe while reading out this snippet. He should know that that was nothing yet, though...

Posted by: Rooks at January 20, 2012 7:53 PM

As a male, this comment thread is making me uncomfortable. ARE WE NOUGHT BUT MEAT TO YOU?

Posted by: The_wakeful at January 20, 2012 11:59 PM

The POTUS is a pimp. And I bet he smells AMAZING.

Posted by: nomah at January 22, 2012 12:13 AM

I haven't been very...nice way to say this...supportive of the Obama administration this past year or so, but he's so damn charming I can't help but smile when he's having fun. Plus, it doesn't help that all the republican nominees are pushing each other over to look stupid.

Posted by: Jeremy at January 22, 2012 2:48 PM

My husband, who is sexy and charming and amazing, also rocks the receding hairline. AND, he looks a lot like Jude Law. So, win for me!

Posted by: dammitjanet at January 22, 2012 4:17 PM

some really interesting points you have written.

Posted by: Chevy at January 25, 2012 11:20 AM

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Posted by: Ana Drumm at February 17, 2012 3:12 AM

Man It seem like the more love you show a Niqqa wen y'all fall of you be like dang did I know this Niqqa ?

Posted by: bubzisra at March 6, 2012 5:25 PM