web
counter


Angelina Jolie's Speech at the Governors Awards Will Make You Cry, Plus More JLaw Sideboob

By Agent Bedhead | Pajiba Love | November 18, 2013 | Comments ()


pl-anggov5.jpg

Javier Bardem has been offered the role of Blackbeard in a Peter Pan origin movie. He’d obviously be quite good, but I think this project is far too big-budget for Javi’s tastes. (Slashfilm)

Lady Gaga’s ARTPOP album will probably cause Interscope to lose $25 million. Gaga sold 250k units in her first week, which puts her on par with Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus. The problem? Gaga’s last album sold 1.1mil during its first week. Ouch. (Vulture)

You don’t know the history of red velvet cake! Sadly I am allergic and cannot enjoy the most delicious dessert in the entire universe. *sadface* (io9)

Dustin has some open questions about The Governor of Walking Dead fame. (WG)

Angelina Jolie’s speech at the Governors Awards — where she received the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award — is a real tear jerker. I dare you not to get a little weepy when she talks about her late mother and then calls out Maddox. (HuffPo)

A man was arrested for impersonating a police officer to try and score free Dunkin Donuts. Florida Fridays are always entertaining. (Film Drunk)

Miley Cyrus demonstrates less is more when it comes to cultivating pop star allure on Twitter. (HL)

Gwyneth Paltrow wants you to buy $1624 paperclip necklace, a $105 deck of cards, a $5800 kitchen set, a $175 paperweight, and a $120 pink slingshot for Christmas. Stuff it, Goop. (ET)

Jennifer Lawrence doubled down on the sideboob for the Catching Fire premiere in Paris. She quite nearly exposed a whole lot of frontboob in the process. (Celebitchy)

Ireland Baldwin attempts to make us feel bad for her poor, homophobic, rage-filled father. He’s so misunderstood. (DListed)

If you’re really bored, here’s a list of science experiments that are fun to do at home with your child. Or you can do what most parents do and just plop the little ones’ asses in front of the tellie. (Mental Floss)

Comedian Kyle Ayers was hanging out on a Brooklyn rooftop and decided to live tweet his neighbor’s breakup. He didn’t received nearly enough retweets for his effort. (Buzzfeed)

None of us could ever be as groovy as Zoe Saldana. (Go Fug Yourself)

Last week in cosplay includes a sexy cop (?) lady standing in front of a not-so-sexy urinal. (Kotaku)

Here’s a video of Miley Cyrus performing on UK’s X-Factor over the weekend. She’s wearing clothes but (sadly) forgot to bring her singing voice.

Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa. She & her little black heart can be found at celebitchy.com.



Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Because every time you do an angel does the Paul Rudd dance

Around the Web


This 'Game Of Thrones' Behind-The-Scenes Is Great News For Joffrey Haters | If You've Ever Wanted to See the Inside of a Vagina, Have I Got the 'Masters of Sex' Episode for You!





Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • BlackRabbit

    That Liz Banks dress is horrible. It makes her look like a Dothraki hooker sporting horse-tails around her waist.

  • elenaran

    Now I'm curious - what are you allergic to in Red Velvet Cake? Chocolate? Or is it a lactose intolerance thing with the cream-cheese icing?

  • Hmph. Red velvet is nice enough, I guess. But German chocolate has always been more my thing. (Bonus info: German chocolate has nothing to do with Germany or its countrypersons. The original recipe was from a corporate package of German's chocolate.)

  • Sara_Tonin00

    and the original German was a person.

    as was the original Baker, of Baker's chocolate.

  • Jawohl, mein fraulein!

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Red Velvet cake is one of the most hotly debated recipes in my family. Some families fight against injustice, mine fights over the proper icing to use for a cake.

  • Mrs. Julien

    You debate about cake? Be it cupped or sliced, how can anybody get excited about cake? Cake is boring. It's bread with sugar. Even the world's best cake makes me shrug and say, "Meh, it's cake."

    [awaiting facial slap from Zbornak Syndrome's oven mitt]

  • emmelemm

    Bread with sugar is the most delicious thing that could ever possibly happen to anyone. So, yes, cake is bread with sugar. Long live cake.

  • emmalita

    I like the way you think! (and the first 3 letters of your name)

  • Fabius_Maximus

    I thought US bread is sweetened to begin with?

    Also, the cake is - as always - a lie.

  • emmalita

    Store bought bread does not deserve the name.

    Good cake is truth and beauty.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Don't bring that Aperture Science double talk into a debate on baked goods!

  • Fabius_Maximus

    It's obligatory and someone had to.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Don't make me use these...

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    I shall throw the spatula down at your feet and declare the cake wars on.
    Bread with sugar? Ha! Bread wishes! Next you'll tell me cupcakes are muffins with fancy hats!

    I grew up with a warlike people who scorned the store bought confections were scorned and the difference between buttercream and cream cheese frosting could make or break the fabric of the universe.

    And I wouldn't have it any other way.

  • anikitty

    Can't we all just get along? I want to live in a world where all of God's bake goods are welcome. Give me your huddled cupcakes yearning to snack free,

    The squishiest bread of your warmest oven.

    Send these, the finest, tastiest to me,

    I lift my milk to the golden spatula!

  • emmalita

    I may have to make this either a sampler or a tattoo. I will give you credit.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Listen honey, this [gesturing at self] is all home-cooking. I make my own bread, I make my own BAGELS. This past weekend I made muffins and brownies and cookies and Irish soda bread. Given time, I might have whipped up a pumpkin pie from scratch with fresh pumpkin. I say cake is boring. It is boring.

    Cupcakes are a transportation devices for icing as any child will tell you.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Well to be fair, I grew up in a baking family and was almost abandoned on a rock when I told my mother that I thought Bread was boring. Yes, all bread. Yes, I've had dozens of home baked options.
    So, it seems we're doomed to be sworn enemies.
    But I am curious, what do you find so boring about cake? There's so many options, just like bread (but, actually tasty).

  • Mrs. Julien

    Layer-cakey and cupcakey things just leave me flat. The Dowager Julien once told me that there are people who make pies and people who make cakes and never the twain shall meet. I'm a cookie/pie/square/bread person.

  • Miss Jane

    Do you think it's hereditary? I'm the same way and just on Saturday when my mother asked me to bring a dessert for Thanksgiving we both said, simultaneously, "but not cake!!!"

  • Mrs. Julien

    I'm so glad to know I'm not alone.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    I'm an everything I can bake person (except bread, of course). I do make a mean cookie, and I do have a scraggly faction of the family that prefers pies (including Mr. Syndrome), but I must admit I have pledged my love and fidelity to cake, of all varieties.

  • emmalita

    I worked in a bakery for a couple of years, so I can make everything, but I will never make biscotti again and you can't make me! Sorry, sidetracked there. What I love most of all though is making a super complicated multi-element cake. I very very rarely have the space and time to do so. My second favorite thing to make is bread, third is pie.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Bread is so satisfying to bake. It gives me a sense of accomplishment.

    Some cookies just bore me now (other than the creaming). I have made so many thousands of chocolate chip cookies, I only enjoy the dough now.

    Mr. Julien has learned to make two kinds of cookies an ventured into brownies recently. Then, last Friday, he made dinner for himself and Little J while I was out: rice and chicken. Honestly, I don't know what function I serve anymore.

  • emmalita

    I never get tired of making bread. I get cranky if I go for more than a week without kneading dough. I love this time of year because I get to make more kinds of bread than usual.

    Your function is now to be served. And dole out generous amounts of love and approval.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I use the dough hook to knead.

  • emmalita

    I LOVE getting my hands in the dough.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I LOVE rolling out pastry. I make gingerbread Christmas ornaments, too.

  • emmalita

    Ah crap! I just realized I'm going to miss doing that with the kids this year. Dammit!

  • Mrs. Julien

    Mr. J always has the humidifier on, so my cookies are often too moist and fall off the tree.

  • Mrs. Julien

    His response was that as long as I have breasts, I will have a place in our home.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I like loaf cakes just fine, but baking a cake gives me no joy for some reason. Generally, anything involving butter, sugar, and specifically the creaming thereof is my valium.

    None of these rules apply to bundt cakes.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Ok, now we're getting to the root of the problem. It's clearly psychological.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    We need a bakery-version of Dr. Phil to help us sort all this out. What's Duff doing these days?

  • Mrs. Julien

    "Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes." - Walt Whitman

  • Sara_Tonin00

    How did this thread go on so long without a "cake or death?!"

    I like to bake just about anything, but uneven oven is making me unhappy (some brownies fat, some thin) and things that involve rolling out usually only get done when visiting other kitchens during holidays.

    I like to make meringues because it's amazing, but don't particularly like to eat them. So dacquoise is nice for that purpose. Also: marshmallows. Basically any recipe that magically grows in size while I mix it. Even whipped cream.

    Especially whipped cream.

  • emmalita

    I once spent 15 minutes describing making whipped cream with calvados and didn't realize I had bored my audience to sleep until they asked what the calvados was for. Pay attention people! It's for flavoring the whipped cream that you are going to put on your French Apple Cake!

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Calvados. Ah, I still haven't brought myself to actually purchase a bottle of it yet. But that sounds divine.

  • emmalita

    It smells like apples and sunshine and a really clean, good looking French man.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I hate liqueurs and their presence ruins things for me.

  • Uriah_Creep

    So far, madam, you have proven yourself to be a cake-ist, a Lucy-ist, and now a liqueur-ist. You should be ashamed! And to think I used to admire you.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I can make butter tarts from scratch. Does that help?

  • Uriah_Creep

    If you send me a dozen of them, I will definitely reconsider my judgement.

  • emmalita

    Hold out for 2 dozen!

  • Uriah_Creep

    Ironically, I could really go for a good cake right now, like, say, a red velvet cake, but the woman is clearly an atheist and I assume would not bake me one. 2 dozen butter tarts it is!

  • emmalita

    Based on my experience with red velvet cake, it can make you look like you have stigmata, or are perhaps a blood sucking fiend.

  • Uriah_Creep

    That last part is actually quite apt, as I'm know by friends and family as The Count, for my outlandish hours and bloodlust. (OK, just kidding about the bloodlust.) Now where is my damn bribe?

  • emmalita

    You will have to ask the lovely Mrs. Julien. :)

  • emmalita

    Is brandy a liqueur or a liquor? I love the way a good calvados smells far more than the way it tastes. I had a customer who used to give me a bottle of really good Normandy Calvados for Christmas every year. I was so sad when she broke her hip and moved away. She was an amazing woman.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    brandy is a liquor. You can generally tell by viscosity. Liqueurs are sweetened, so a little thicker.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I don't know the term, but I hate it all.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    you mean you don't like a proper British Christmas cake, stuffed full of fruit and whiskey?

  • emmalita

    Fruit cake, whatever name it goes by, is an abomination and the root cause of people not liking cake.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Fruit cake is a lie. There is no such beast. There's dry, fruity bread and cake. I know not of this "fruit cake" you speak of.

  • emmalita

    Truer words, my sister, truer words. That whiskey is better used in my glass, not poured over a bunch of dried fruit.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Oh Mrs. Julien, I'm starting to see why cakes could be boring for you.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I feel the same about meringue. Angel food cake is a good grower.

  • emmalita

    Creaming the butter and sugar is my favorite part. :)

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Oh, that is just so much fun. The only thing better in my mind is rolling out buttercreams for hand dipping, I always feel like Lucy.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I HATE LUCY!

    I remember turning it off because I was offended when I was 12 years old.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    YOU LIVE IN A WORLD WITHOUT LOVE! *readies the pastry bags of war*

  • Mrs. Julien

    [whetting star pastry tip]

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Tonight the streets will run red with fondant!

  • Mrs. Julien

    We're not so different after all.

  • emmalita

    I am dying to make cake and challenge your notions of boring. I bake my own bread too, and have made many pumpkin pies from actual pumpkins. Damn this Internet anonymity!

  • Mrs. Julien

    I'm sure it's lovely, but I am just not a cake person.

    (Cake, for our purposes, meaning those layered things, but excluding those which overlap with "breads" such as pumpkin or banana.)

  • Sara_Tonin00

    even marjolaine is boring? a beautiful hazelnut dacquoise with mocha ganache layers and a silky coffee buttercream on top? come ON.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I don't have words for how much I hate hazelnut, so I'll just go with "a lot".

    Dacquoise is fine, but not cake for our purposes.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I think you're dessert trolling. And when I read that you make soda bread and yet find cake boring, I become extra suspicious.

  • emmalita

    Sorry, I was laughing so hard I accidentally down voted you for a moment.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Dessert Troll!

    The most delicious and deceptively sweet of the troll species.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Yes, but the sweetness comes from aspartame.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    LIES!!!! SWEET, SWEET CHEMICALLY ENGINEERED LIES!

  • Mrs. Julien

    WHAT DID YOU EXPECT FROM A TROLL?

  • emmalita

    **Gasp** If she won't I will! And you have clearly never made a multi-tierd cake and transported it. That is exciting stuff right there!

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Oh, transporting a cake is more exciting than most action movies. Especially when you're in stop and go traffic.

  • Mrs. Julien

    A desire to avoid this very specific kind of excitement was what prompted me to make cupcakes instead of layer cake for Little Julien's recent birthday party.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    I actually once, very illegally sat in the back of a van, bracing a cake, so that no such disaster would befall a five layer topsy turvy cake. It was intense, and at that moment, I would have given my eye teeth for cupcakes instead.

  • emmalita

    My first wedding cake, I got to the reception hall just fine until I was putting it on the display table and someone bumped into me and my boob went right into the cake!

  • Sara_Tonin00

    You have to read Rose-Levy Berenbaum's story of making her brother's wedding cake...it's in her Cake Bible.

  • emmalita

    I have read it, but not until after I made my first multi-tiered wedding cake. I decided it was a case of the less I know the better.

  • Mrs. Julien

    That's a transportation issue, not a flavour vindication. Moving a cake from point A to point B doesn't make it any more interesting to eat.

  • emmalita

    What does excite you, dessert-wise?

  • bastich

    My guess is beefcake.

  • emmalita

    You're probably right, as usual.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    I make cakes with pies in them for Thanksgiving. They're pretty interesting to eat...

  • emmalita

    I saw these a few years ago. I wanted to try it, because baked goods are my drugs and I want to try EVERYTHING, but all I got were disgusted looks and gentle suggestions that separate but equal was preferred for baked goods. Long story short, got a good recipe?

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    I riffed on this YouTube video. Basically, I made the cherry pie myself, then put it in chocolate cake batter. It looked like a vivisected animal when I cut it, but damn it was good.
    I've never gone full Cherpumple though.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • Miss Jane

    Turpiecaken?

  • Mrs. Julien

    Pumpcakepie.

  • Mrs. Julien

    If you are serious, I need more information about this.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    See above, it's called the Cherpumple, and I've only done one layer at a time.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • fribbley

    Peter Pan movie is too big-budget for the guy who was in Skyfall?

  • Mrs. Julien

    Isn't front boob just good old-fashioned cleavage?

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Or toplessness, depending.

  • Mrs. Julien

    You have such a head for knowing.

  • AvaLehra

    I am totally reading this in the voice of Mona from Moonstruck...

  • Mrs. Julien

    YAY!

  • Either way, I found that there was a surpassing lack of either in the aforementioned article.

    I mean really. In a post-Janet-Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" world, JLaw was covered to a practically Victorian degree.

blog comments powered by Disqus









Follow Us





Viral Hits
Celebrity Facts

The Best TV & Movie Quotes

The Walking Dead

How I Met Your Mother

True Detective

Parks and Recreation

Cosmos

Hannibal

30 Practical Tips About the Horrors of Raising Children

25 Practical Tips About the Horrors of Raising Twins