Amanda Seyfried's Vagina Is Like Toucan Sam's Nose: It Always Knows
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Amanda Seyfried's Vagina Is Like Toucan Sam's Nose: It Always Knows

By Agent Bedhead | Pajiba Love | July 12, 2013 | Comments ()


I realize that Amanda Seyfried isn’t usually a conversation starter, but her role as Linda Lovelace has led to a pretty interesting discussion about how her vagina can be tamed, but its essence never changes. (Celebitchy)

Forbes has ranked the highest paid stand-up comedians of the year. Naturally, there is not one single female on the entire list. And #1 is just overkill. (Warming Glow)

Someone whipped up a “Game of Thrones”-themed wedding cake that looks mighty tasty. (Unreality)

Some of these things already do exist, but I’m still enjoying this list of things that should yet don’t exist in 2013. Such as a verified Bill Murray Twitter account. Can you imagine? (Buzzfeed)


Aaaannd here is an excellent parody list that details 40 Signs You Are a Buzzfeed Writer Running Out of List Ideas. Touché. (Vanity Fair)

The Saving Mr. Banks trailer features a Disney-fied version of Tom Hanks as Walt Disney. (Film Drunk)

Oh, c’mon. Who doesn’t want to have breakfast with a giraffe? That is, unless he decides to steal my dog’s scrambled eggs, and then giraffey is toast. (Mental Floss)

This graphic illustrates a mathematical analysis of wide-release movies featuring more than one woman in a co-starring role. There’s more where that came from. (Vulture)


Johnny Depp’s career has suffered in no way from his recent trifecta of commercial failures — Dark Shadows, The Rum Diary, and The Lone Ranger. Now he’s just signed onto a flick where his costume will involve an elaborate moustache. (Film School Rejects)

A corgi dressed as a Jedi Master? Sure, why not. It’s better than anything to come out of George Lucas’ ass in the past two decades. (The Mary Sue)

Now the battle commences to see who will replace Elisabeth Hasselbeck on “The View.” They should go with Rachel Campos-Duffy. (Videogum)

Look at how happy John Travolta looks in this photo. Look. At. Him. “If that picture was a postcard, it’d be addressed to Tommy Girl and it’d say, “You wish you were here, bitch!’” (DListed)


Emmy Rossum’s smile aims to convince us that this is a gorgeous dress that is worthy of wonder. Don’t fall for it! (Go Fug Yourself)

Just in case you’re attending Comic-Con, here’s a preview of plastic crap upon which you can waste your money. (Kotaku)

Netflix is reportedly in talks for another new season of “Arrested Development.” Clearly, I’m not a member of the cool kids’ club because I couldn’t move forth after episode three. (Slashfilm)

Britney Spears has made a contribution to the Smurfs 2 soundtrack, and the video below shows the full horror. Poor Brit. She deserves better than this.

Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Strand

    I'm pretty sure that John Travolta postcard would say "WISH YOU WERE HER," sent to his wife and pointing to the owner of the balls he's checking out.

  • googergieger

    "Naturally, there is not one single female on the entire list."

    Women are more likely to laugh than men, but are less likely to laugh at women than men.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Is it reeaaaally women laughing at Larry the Cable Guy or Dude with Cigar, though?

  • googergieger

    Probably not. Though it has more to do with woman not laughing at other women, really. Blame yourself sisters.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Women are taught to politely titter, not chortle, guffaw, or bray. I'm afraid there's not much money in tittering or politeness.

    But seriously, I don't know about the women not laughing at women thing. I don't go out and see headliner comedians, but I like some female comedians, and they've been getting cracks at shows - like Amy Schumer, and Whitney (which came for some viscious takedowns from this site based on its writing and main character, though not sure it was worse than other sitcoms). Chelsea Handler is another one who comes in for a beatdown on this site, unlike the male comedians who've segued into hosting jobs.

  • googergieger

    Well, Whitney isn't funny and neither is Handler. I mean in Handler's case, big gay following(dating the E boss for a while too right?). In Whitney's case the right people(Handler and others) liked her. Schumer at the very least has paid her dues and while not my cup of tea, is good at her job. But I mean really, there are more women than men. So maybe women and Dustin should take a look in the mirror before going after the fellas, who are going to flock to what they like. Apparently women aren't doing the same?

  • Slash

    RE list of comedians: Well, 5 of those people are actually funny. The rest ... not so much. But whatever. Mediocrity can pay well, don't let anyone tell you differently.

  • John G.

    JESUS CHRIST that highest paid standup list was depressing. Racist the cable guy and racist the puppeteer make millions of dollars?

  • Mrs. Julien

    In the spirit of the "it's her body" response I have trained myself to have to celebrity women who have done seemingly unfortunate things to their person, over which they have complete dominion and to which they have every right to make alterations, I have decided that I am no longer allowed to make fun of John Travolta's appearance. It is killing me.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Emmy Rossum's smile could convince an Eskimo to buy ice.

    And fuck, I made so many accidental freebie snubs.

  • lowercase_ryan

    I had the same thought the second I missed her name. She should have been in my 5.

  • lowercase_see

    He's a hunter.

  • kinoumenthe

    …You call it a dude ?

  • Lemon_Poundcake

    Not a good enough reason to use the word "penetrated."

  • With the exception of Kevin Hart, I've seen or heard the rest of the guys on that list and they're all pretty funny. I'm glad to see them doing well.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Even the puppet guys?

  • They're never going to give someone an aneurysm from laughing too hard, but they're both pretty entertaining, yeah. I'd give the edge to Dunham over Fator, but that's pure personal preference.

  • googergieger

    I prefer Norm Macdonald's ventriloquism act.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    That's my favorite - the commenter posting: THERE ARE TWO VENTRILOQUISTS? Good job, America.

    Though I saw the first ventriloquist and thought: is that the "on a stick" guy? But no. It is someone else, and "on a stick" is a few notches down.

  • DataAngel

    That was my first thought. Followed by "And a Giant Colin Firth. And Sharknado. We're missing the last sign of the Apocalypse." And then I remembered... Honey Boo Boo's scratch-n-sniff episode.

    We are so doomed.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Oooh, how funny, because I thought based on the review that Grown-Ups 2 must be a sign of the end times.

  • DataAngel

    I think it's official. We can expect The End any time now.

    I hope it happens on a nice day.

  • Marc

    Realtalk: King Giraffey was just jealous of Nedaard Vark's stout, manly neck.

  • anikitty

    So, I'm such a dork that it pleases me that the Vulture graph is to scale.

  • Of course, 2013 is only half over, so that last set of bars isn't really accurate.

  • emma852

    like Sara said I am alarmed that anyone can make $5734 in a few weeks on the computer. have you read this link w­w­w.K­E­P­2.c­o­m

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