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Alison Brie, Magic, and The Miz: Just Another Weird-Ass Day on the Internet

By Daniel Carlson | Pajiba Love | April 15, 2013 | Comments ()


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Esquire's got a new interview and photo shoot with Alison Brie, fulfilling their quarterly Brie quota and staving off bankruptcy for another season. It turns out that Alison Brie is willing to take a brave stand in favor of things like The Princess Bride and popcorn, but what does it even matter there are pictures and there's a zero percent chance you're even reading this, and who could blame you? (WG)

Word behind the scenes on Fox's "The Following" is that Kevin Bacon thinks the show's dumb and misogynistic. Welcome to primetime network TV, Kev. Mandy Patinkin pretty much said the same thing about his time on "Criminal Minds." (Celebitchy)

This list of heartbreaking TV character deaths will remind you that you care about pretend people more than some members of your actual family, and that's OK. (Unreality)

I hear you skeptically asking, "How great could an acapella version of the Guile theme from Street Fighter II really be?" The answer: really, really great. (YouTube)

Here's a new trailer for Deceptive Practices: The Mysteries and Mentors of Ricky Jay. It's a documentary about sleight-of-hand master Ricky Jay, whom you probably recognize from supporting roles in David Mamet and P.T. Anderson movies. There are clips of his performances on YouTube, too, but fair warning: once you watch one, you will probably spend hours watching the rest.

In video game news: here's the trailer for Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, a spinoff of the Far Cry series that mashes up every idea from cheeseball 1980s action movies and spits them out into a first-person action game. This thing looks so bonkers that I can't wait to play it. Also, consider this your regular reminder to join the Pajiba Gamers group on Facebook if you're into that sort of thing. We promise not to haze the new people (too much). (YouTube)

Coaches: Stop being dicks. (Deadspin)

Seriously, coaches: Be like this guy. (Sports on Earth)

Somehow, finding out that former "The Real World" cast member Mike, aka The Miz, was in a straight-to-DVD second-sequel spinoff of John Cena's The Marine is totally unsurprising. (IMDb)

I know it's from The Onion, but I'm pretty sure this Aaron Sorkin piece is a true story. (The Onion)

Jonathan Winters died on Friday. In the words of Bob Newhart, "He was number one. There is no number two."

Explore the galaxy. Feel small. (Google Chrome)

These guys like Jurassic Park way more than you do. (imgur)

I had no idea that certain "SNL" reruns use sketch versions from the dress rehearsal, not the actual episode. (Splitsider)

"Straight up, what is wrong with being an object? Like a robot? Like Optimus Prime? What, you think you're better than Optimus Prime?" This is amazing. (Something Awful)

I want these Bluth albums to be real so bad. (Colossus of Clout)

I'll leave you today with "The Film Before the Film," a fantastic look at the history of movie credits. Get your learn on:

THE FILM before THE FILM from ntsdpz on Vimeo.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • katy

    Geez, huge spoiler in that Unreality post for those of us who are still working through House of Cards. I guess I should know better by now.

  • Cazadora

    All that nice artistry for beginning and ending credits is pretty much lost once a movie gets to television. The audience loss between programs can be something like 40-70% and networks do everything possible to negate this impact. So you have things like "squeeze credits" and "hot starts." My favorite way is for two part series, where you only legally have to run the credits once if they are identical. So this creates a lot of two part episodes that are programmed like two hour movies.

    Anyway, it is astounding the amount of legal language that surrounds how and where to run credits on television. And any change has to go all they way back up the chain from the distributor to the studio and even, certain directors (I'm looking at you, Spielberg). And all for something that the viewers could care less about.

  • DeistBrawler

    "Somehow, finding out that former “The Real World” cast member Mike, aka The Miz, was in a straight-to-DVD second-sequel spinoff of John Cena’s The Marine is totally unsurprising. "

    What's surprising is that you mentioned his stint on "The Real World" when he's been a professional wrestler for quite a while. Which also explains how he followed Cena into a spinoff of a terrible movie.

  • firedmyass

    Unrelated to your comment, but whenever I see "The Miz" it makes me think of an all-lesbian revival of The Wiz.

  • UnderTheDark

    See, I thought it would be an all-black remake of Les Mis...

  • My favorite line from that Something Awful bit is "Underneath my computer desk looks like somebody murdered an android."

  • BWeaves

    Never trust a magician who shuffles the cards too perfectly.

    As a computer programmer, I'm going to teach you a nifty binary trick.

    Practice, until you can cut the cards exactly in half, with 26 cards in each stack.

    You'll have a top stack and a bottom stack.

    Practice until you can do a perfect shuffle, interleaving every other card.

    Now, there are two types of perfect shuffle:

    An OUT shuffle, where the top card from the top stack ends up as the top card in the final stack.

    An IN shuffle, where the top card from the top stack ends up as the second card down in the final stack.

    Now, let's say you know the top card is an Ace, and you want to place it in the deck so it comes back to you, and there are 5 people at the table, including you.

    Take 5, subtract 1, which equals 4.
    Now convert 4 to binary = 100.
    The ones are I's (IN's) and the zeros are 0's (OUT's).
    So you shuffle IN, OUT, OUT.
    If you shuffle perfectly, and deal out the cards, the Ace will be 5 cards down in the stack and you'll deal yourself an Ace.

    So, the algorithm is:
    Take the position you want the top card to be in the deck.
    Subtract one.
    Convert that number to binary.
    Do perfect shuffles following the binary number.
    Deal the cards.

    When I play cards, I mess them all up with my hands all over the table, and scrape them together. Yeah, it looks amateurish, but at least I know they are truly random.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    oooooooh. I have next to nil manual dexterity so I'm unlikely to achieve this trick, but it's pretty nifty in theory.

  • BWeaves

    Actually, I've found that as long as you don't try to push the card too far down in the deck, you can get away with not splitting the deck precisely in half, and not shuffling perfectly, as long as the last bit of each shuffle is perfect and is the appropriate IN or OUT.

    I also know some other shuffles where you'd swear the cards were mixed up and in truth they haven't changed position at all.

  • Jezzer

    Aw, man, an entire photoshoot of Alison Brie being mildly attractive and middlingly talented. I'm wet already. Please tell me they talk about her boobs.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Something. Something. Bunk. Something. Something. De Quervain's tenosynovitis. Something. Something. Gonna need a new bunk.

  • emmelemm

    Is that a fancy way of saying carpal tunnel syndrome?

  • That Guile thing was far too good.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    But it was in no way purely a capella.

  • JJ

    "Somehow, finding out that former “The Real World” cast member Mike, aka
    The Miz, was in a straight-to-DVD second-sequel spinoff of John Cena’s The Marine is totally unsurprising."

    How unsurprising is finding out that Neal McDonough is in that movie as well?

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Word behind the scenes on Fox’s “The Following” is that Kevin Bacon thinks the show’s dumb and misogynistic. Welcome to primetime network TV, Kev. Mandy Patinkin pretty much said the same thing about his time on “Criminal Minds.” (Celebitchy)

    Seriously and seriously. Please read previous PLoves. I'm not sure why this irks me so much, or why it's my petty quest, but it is right now. It's sloppy. And this is coming from a sloppy person.

    I'll be better than fine if I never see another cheesecake shot of Alison Brie again. Love the Sorkin bit though.

  • lowercase_ryan

    I get what your saying, but The Following is so bad that I don't think we can discuss it enough. This needs to be discussed ad nauseum until Kevin Williamson & Co are publicly flogged and black listed.

  • Sirilicious

    I don't understand your comment. And i usually like & agree with the ones by you i come across, so i'd appreciate it if you'd explain.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    The link to The Following & Bacon's complaints was part of Friday's Pajiba Love too. It just nettles me that the editors don't seem to read each other's PLoves and duplicate them. Friday's also had a duplicate link. Like I said, it's dumb, but to me it's like finding the newspaper ran the same exact AP story as the day before.

    But if you don't understand about Brie? I know people like her ass cheeks and her boobs and whatnot, but I'm not one of them. I don't care if the article gets linked to, but it grosses me out that it's the header pic.

  • koko temur

    Im with you, i never found brie extremely interesting, but to publish pictures with her exposing her boobs in every damn pic, after this same website bashed women and magazines for going there, thats just tone deaf.

  • Buck Forty

    And by Dustin, no less, who wrote the WG piece. Different audience I guess?

  • Sirilicious

    Ah, i didn't get all that from the comment. I guess it doesn't help that i hardly ever follow the links i find in PLove. I can see the sloppyness and how it would irritate.

    I am not in America, so i don't get exposed to Brie that much. I am not a fan of "come hither" women (famous or not) in header pics though, especially when a blog has ranted against it in the past.

  • toblerone

    After last night's Mad Men in which Trudy / Brie was awesome I am a liitle dismayed by the Esquire spread.

    Alison is HOT, we all know this, but I want to see her get more opportunities to actually act then pander to this type of magazine photo shoot.

    *I'd love a Parisse / Bacon / Zea sandwich.

  • ,

    STFU.

    --Esquire subscriber

  • Buck Forty

    The next time Dustin gives us another column about how sexist female super hero costumes are I may direct him back to that piece he did for Warming Glow. But maybe I missed something, so maybe I should go back and look again.

  • John G.

    i LOVED that. I hope she ends up ruining Pete Campbell, and I hope she gets a larger role in the show.

  • mograph

    Wait a minute! Is that Gone With the Wind clip really from the open or from the trailer?

  • BWeaves

    That's what I thought. I think it's from the trailer.

  • John G.

    I just wasted $14 on Jurassic Park in 3D, and that was enough money to waste on a fun film with absolutely no use of the 3D that I paid extra for. However, I did notice that the Jurassic Park cars were Ford Explorers, so those guys must not be super-duper fans.

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