Alison Brie and Her Low-Hanging Boobs

Alison Brie and Her Low-Hanging Boobs ... Fruit. I Meant FRUIT. DAMNIT

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (76)

Over on Movieline, Jen Yamato wheedles an insanely candid interview out of Universal Chief Ron Meyer, who — among other things — admits that Wolfman was “crappy,” that Benecio Del Toro “stunk” and that, along with Babe 2, it was one of the “shittiest movies” they ever put out. Hey! I liked Babe 2. (Movieline)

So, you’re probably sick of Alison Brie’s boobs by now, yes? What if I were to tell you that she wore a low-cut blouse and talked about the kinship she has with her boobs? Would that change your mind? No. You’re done. OK. Fair enough. (WarmingGlow)

Martin Schoeller is really great at unearthing the flaws of celebrities in his photography, which has a way of bringing out their humanity, which in turn kind of makes them even more beautiful. Except for Paris Hilton. She’s just ugly. (Unreality)

Bond 23 officially has a title now. It’s better than most, actually. Do you wanna know what it is? Clickety click. (Slashfilm)

This Homeric retelling of “Jersey Shore,” compliments of noodlestein is like fattening you up with intelligence before slaughtering you to eat your stupidity. (Vanity Fair)

I don’t typically try to force our own pieces on you folks, but I’ve been plugging the hell out of Steven’s “What Superheroes Mean” post because it’s a fine example of brilliant web writing that it both thoughtful and germane to pop culture, and I don’t want it to get lost amidst the 10 Worst this and the 30 Best that. (Pajiba)

We all hate crying babies, but we tolerate them because they’re babies. But not this bus driver, which led to kind of an amazing turn of events in Portland, Oregon that ever-so-briefly renews my faith in humanity. (Snide Remarks)

Oh, and I curated this list over on Uproxx: 21 Dreadful Performances Phoned In By Truly Great Actors. (Uproxx)

He’s completely unrecognizable beneath the Santa suit, but Judd Nelson is making a Christmas movie for the Hallmark Channel. Oh, it stings. (Pop Candy)

Oh, and speaking of Pop Candy, they’re doing a poll based on our 30 Most Rewatchable Films of the Modern Era list. Our number one places second, but another film is running away with the title. Oh, and for the record: I pulled The Fifth Element from the list at the last second yesterday in favor of something else. I clearly shouldn’t have. (Pop Candy)

Oh, Lady Gaga: Just cut it out. (Evil Beet)

Here’s a question: Should a critic have to see everything (even, say, Bucky Larson) before voting on end-of-year awards? I dunno. I see pretty much everything, and I don’t vote on awards, but I will stand in solidarity against arrogant critics anyway! Just not the elitist ones because … (Shockya)

A couple of days ago, we learned that J.K. Rowling almost killed Ron Weasley. As it turns out, there was another major character she almost killed, as well. (Moviefone)

Here’s a heartwarming note, via MM: The Wayward Coffee House, a sci-fi coffee shop and once home of the Seattle Browncoats, is re-opening in Seattle. (Rosiehood)

I don’t … what? Gus Van Sant will direct a Taylor Lautner vehicle. Huh? Did he lose a bet? Did someone pee in his bug? What’s going on here, folks? (FSR)

Don’t you wish you could go back to 1983 and order everything from the Apple Gift Catalog? Well, you can’t. But this is the next best thing. (Go To Public School)

I don’t have a video for you today, folks. Instead, I have a picture, because I wanted to see what would happen if you witness all three of these men, wearing suits, in the same photograph.

Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance

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Comments

I don't want to live in a world where I would ever get sick of Alison Brie's sweater pumpkins...they are a glorious feat of German engineering...

Posted by: Rubble44 at November 3, 2011 1:09 PM

So, you’re probably sick of Alison Brie’s boobs by now, yes?

WHO THE HELL is sick of Alison Brie's boobs? Raise your hands? Come on! Put them muthafuckas up! Show yoselves!!

Posted by: Fredo at November 3, 2011 1:11 PM

How is it that Justin Timberlake still looks just as "made up" as he does with the make up on? Yes. I am jealous.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at November 3, 2011 1:11 PM

Two things.

1. That boob shot just made this dick-loving girl go a little (okay, a lot) gay. If Vince Vaughn asked me, yes, I'd be a "motor-boatin' son of a bitch".

2. What would happen if we requested to see the same three men WITHOUT suits?

Oh God, I just need to fuck something now.

Posted by: scorzi at November 3, 2011 1:11 PM

Dustin, the sad part about Lucille Ball in Mame is that she really was trying to give a good performance. Truly. She knew she couldn't sing well so she poured herself into becoming that character. She busted her ass making that film and still looked like warmed over garbage.

Posted by: Robert at November 3, 2011 1:15 PM

On that note scorzi, where should I send this invitation to a private "party" I'm holding?

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at November 3, 2011 1:16 PM

Rowling also admitted in an interview (years ago) that she almost killed Arthur Weasley instead of Sirius in the 5th book. Do. Not. Want.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at November 3, 2011 1:22 PM

While I cannot say I'm sick of Alison Bries boobies, or even just random boobies in general, I do feel a twinge of regret that while listening to her drone on I noticed that the wall behind her was decorated with framed Atari 2600 game cartridges.

I don't know what depresses me about that more: the fact that obsolete electronics attracted my attention over a solid pair of cans or that half of you out there probably have absolutely no idea what an Atari was.

Posted by: bleujayone at November 3, 2011 1:47 PM

More than anything I'm just sick of that word.

Posted by: Jay at November 3, 2011 1:49 PM

About my linky-poo: The coffee shop features drinks such as the Muad'Dib latte, the Iocane latte (build up a tolerance!), and the Kobayashi Maru.

It's adorable!

I will report back on the deliciousness of these various concoctions.

Posted by: MM at November 3, 2011 1:50 PM

Mmm, would be more impressed with the pic if Benedict had his black hair and piercing eyes turned to the camera. Nonetheless, there were some definite palpitations there...

Posted by: Berberuh at November 3, 2011 1:53 PM

Sick of Ali's boobs? Really? Barely even noticed them. I'm all about her short skirts, m'self.

Posted by: greg at November 3, 2011 1:56 PM

Benedict Cumberbatch looks like the unholy love child of my mother and brother(with the Dowager Julien doing the majority of the DNA contributing). It is freaky and wrong, like when Daniel Radcliffe looked like some unholy Beatles lovechild at the end of the last Harry Potter movie. Try to unsee THAT now and you will know where I live.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 3, 2011 1:57 PM

Who in the hell thinks John Wayne was a "truly great actor"? He was a movie star who was in a lot of great flicks, not a great actor.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at November 3, 2011 1:59 PM

If John Lennon and Paul McCartney somehow found a way to breed, I'd be all about that. Whatever the result, it would have to be better than Wings right?

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at November 3, 2011 2:00 PM

Judd Nelson is making a Christmas movie for the Hallmark Channel.

Before anyone gets any ideas, the answer is "go fuck yourself."

Posted by: TK at November 3, 2011 2:01 PM

A couple of days ago, we learned that J.K. Rowling almost killed Ron Weasley. As it turns out, there was another major character she almost killed, as well.

So Rowling is a pseudonym for Joss Whedon? I get it now. He's been slacking for years.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at November 3, 2011 2:06 PM

Before anyone gets any ideas, the answer is "go fuck yourself."

Posted by: TK at November 3, 2011 2:01 PM

I finished my lunch about 30 minutes ago.

I still have iced tea at my desk, but am not actively drinking it.

In spite of those facts I laughed so hard at TK's comment that I choked.

Posted by: lubeg at November 3, 2011 2:07 PM

Even if I could have my very favorite meal every single day of my life lovingly prepared and set before me with no effort on my part; even if this was the only happy and joyous thing in my life to the point where I spent every waking minute contemplating suicide until the meal was ready; even if it was the only meal I got to eat each day so that I began looking like a less attractive Christian Bale in The Machinist; even if Ms. Brie appeared magically out of nowhere and swept my entire meal to the floor using her breasts before spitting on me, laughing at me, giving me an atomic wedgie and running off...I still don't think I'd ever grow tired of her boobs.

(Alison Brie's agents, call me! I have a great idea for a web video...)

Posted by: JustBill at November 3, 2011 2:15 PM

Why are Hugh Laurie and Idris Elba having drinks with Bill Nye the Science Guy.

Posted by: pastor-of-muppets at November 3, 2011 2:17 PM

My vagina exploded, that's what happened when you put that picture up there.

Posted by: Dorothy Snarker at November 3, 2011 2:17 PM

@Socrates_Johnson:

I live in Boston and I'm done work at 4pm.

Let's do this.

Posted by: scorzi at November 3, 2011 2:29 PM

And now I suddenly find myself caring about a tax break for private jets.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at November 3, 2011 2:34 PM

Dear Santa Claurowles,

I have been a goodish person this year. I love my child more than chocolate itself. I haven't killed any cute baby animals. I have neither voted Republican, nor contributed to the coffers of Justin Bieber. I am what passes for a decent human being in this day and age. If I could have one wish, it would be world peace, or that no one should ever know hunger, or one of those other fancy wishes that people are always making. But because it is Christmas, and at Christmas we must always tell the truth, I’ll you what I want in my heart-of-hearts: I want TK to write a real time review of a Hallmark Christmas movie. It hadn’t even occurred to me until he mentioned it, but when he ~~was stupid enough to do so~~ did, it was as though the heavens opened and a golden light spilled forth giving two thumbs up. It was the perfect answer to an unanswered question. Did you read his Sharktopus review? It included this sentence: I think she’s on meth and her lines were given to her in Sanskrit. Santa Claurowles baby, imagine if that kind of vitriol was applied to Judd Nelson as Santa in a Hallmark movie. It's too delicious, too perfect, it's the music of the spheres is what it is. In fact, it might be too much all at once. It might need to be written and presented in chapters, like a Dicken’s novel, A Christmas Reckoning, if you will.

Thank you again for the Opus Reindeer in 1984, it was totally awesome.

Kisses,
Mrs. Lysander Julien

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 3, 2011 2:48 PM

I don't care about Cumberbatch, but the sight of Laurie and Elba and alcohol in the same picture just made me thank the Gods that I live in London and there's a slight chance that maybe one day I'll bump into them...and they'll ply me with alcohol before having their naughty way with me.

Mrs Julien, I smell what you're cooking and I want some of it.

Posted by: Joker at November 3, 2011 3:00 PM

To think, there was a time when I was somewhat fond of Mrs. Julien.

Now I want to use her guts as Christmas garland.

Posted by: TK at November 3, 2011 3:02 PM

Frak Mrs. J's effort to be eloquent in her request, I'm going to cut to the chase: I'll pony up some dosh to line TK's bar with the appropriate liquor required to set off a truly vicious skewering of A Very Crappy Judd Nelson Suckmas. It will fill my cold, dead, Grinchy heart with such mirth.

What I'm saying is: I'll bribe someone to make TK miserable just so I might take delight in his musings. Not his misery. Just his musings on the misery.

Posted by: lubeg at November 3, 2011 3:04 PM

What would happen? You've killed us, Rowles, that's what you've done. And I had a midterm tomorrow, too.

Posted by: dsbs at November 3, 2011 3:05 PM

@Socrates_Johnson:

Where do you live and how old are you?

Because if we ever met on pajiba.com and fell in love the entire board would simultaneously sigh with amusement and rag on us so bad we'd be too traumatized to come back.

Posted by: scorzi at November 3, 2011 3:05 PM

I'm in for 5 bucks!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 3, 2011 3:06 PM

(for jet fuel either of the airplane or TK lubrication variety)

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 3, 2011 3:13 PM

Another day, another picture of Annie's Boobs.

Posted by: John G. at November 3, 2011 3:16 PM

I just...I'm sorry, Benedict Cumberbatch, rilly?

Posted by: Nadine at November 3, 2011 3:22 PM

Last picture: I thought it was Bill Nye at first, too. Then wondered how likely it was that Hugh Laurie would be sipping cocktails with Bill Nye the Science Guy.

I'm not sick of Brie's boobs, but I am a little sick of hearing/reading people talking about them. They're just boobs. Big boobs. Impressive, even. But just boobs.

Posted by: Slash at November 3, 2011 3:46 PM

All hail our Hellspawn masters. Oh Immortal Ones, we draw up the unholy circle before you and implore you to grant us our request:

Give us the head of TK on a platter after it falls off from Real Time Reivewing Judd Nelson's upcoming Very Special Hallmark Christmas Spectacular.

So mote it be, upon the shedding of the blood of a virgin...What? Whaddaya mean we can't find a virgin on Pajiba? Hey! Who the Hell was responsible for getting the virgin, again? Dammit!!

You get off lucky today, TK.

Posted by: NateS1973 at November 3, 2011 3:50 PM

Look, as much as I'd like to subject TK to Judd Nelson Learns What a Candy Cane is For, I think the pain needs to spread like a nice bruise, all purply, green and yellow. So, I'd like to suggest a round table of pajiba hosts to take turns punching this eggnog scented monstrosity right in the ornaments. No one is spared, all must watch and recoil in horror. I think the group reviews are great to read as well. I imagine the entire writing staff in footie pajamas and stocking caps fighting over the popcorn bowl and best couch cushion. I may have said too much.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at November 3, 2011 4:00 PM

Ask and ye shall receive.

Posted by: A Virgin at November 3, 2011 4:03 PM

I think Scorzi and Socrates_Johnson are about to have their first date.

...should the rest of us leave the room?

Posted by: OldSchool60 at November 3, 2011 4:09 PM

@scorzi
Pittsburgh, 27. You know you'd wear the inevitable ragging around as a badge of honor. Also even if I wanted to leave, I doubt Mrs. J would let me.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at November 3, 2011 4:13 PM

I don't know what anyone else's reaction was to that photograph, but when I saw it yesterday mine was yes, please

(Cumberbatch does not impress me in stills, but in motion? Yes, please.)

Posted by: sistercoyote at November 3, 2011 4:16 PM

You're allowed to leave Socrates, you just HAVE TO COME BACK!

I'm still smarting from Kballs abrupt departure.

//runs histrionically from room, wailing and shrieking//

KBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLS!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 3, 2011 4:24 PM

Mrs. J, cease embarrassing yourself with these histrionics, I beg of you.

Posted by: Ghisent at November 3, 2011 4:43 PM

Scorzi, I'm in Boston too. We should meet up so I can cut your head off and mount it at the gates of Pajiba HQ as a warning to THE NEXT MOTHERFUCKER WHO SUGGESTS I REVIEW A GODDAMN LIFETIME MOVIE.

Posted by: TK at November 3, 2011 4:45 PM

Oh Ghisent, you remembered!