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After Photobombing Old Couple, Amber Heard Will House Them In Her Spaciously-Sized Mouth

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (39)

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Skirting around Super Bowl coverage is all but impossible this morning, but I’ll try and keep it to a minimum in today’s Pajiba Love.

You spend a lot of time downloading torrents of films? Your life just got a little more difficult. BTJunkie has shuttered. (PC World)

What is worse than dying in an Internet cafe? Having no one notice the CORPSE for nine hours, well after rigor mortis has set in (Warning: Video is unsettling). (Kotaku)

All those Chuck Norris memes were a lot of fun several years ago, but now Norris is using his power to try and get Newt Gingrich elected. Not so bad ass anymore, is he? (Movieline)

It was a close race for a while, but the latest OK GO music video puts them ahead of the Foo Fighters as the greatest music video band of all time. (Uproxx)

The Reddit Community is huge and aggressive. You don’t want to get on their bad side, as Woody Harrelson can now attest. So much for Zombieland 2. (Dave Chen)

Did you guys see the Ron Swanson Bacon n Eggs cereal? Well, why the hell not? (WarmingGlow) And while you’re over there, check out Will Ferrell’s Super Bowl ad that aired in only one city in Nebraska. (WG)

Now that you’ve seen all the Super Bowl commercials, here are the Hollywood directors behind many of them (and the Eastwood ad is the best thing that David Gordon Green has done in years). (Slashfilm)

Espied on Dan Carlson’s FB Feed: 25 Things I Learned from Opening a Bookstore, including this gem: ” If someone comes in and asks for a recommendation and you ask for the name of a book that they liked and they can’t think of one, the person is not really a reader. Recommend Nicholas Sparks.” (Tumblr)

You know that jacket that Ryan Gosling wears in Drive? Turns out, Ryan Gosling in the only man in America who can successfully pull it off. (Unreality)

There are plenty of places you can find commentary on Madonna’s Super Bowl Halftime show, but there’s only one that’s both insightful and doesn’t stoop to old lady jokes. (GoFugYourself)

Here’s Tom Brady after losing the Super Bowl last night. Poor guy. Don’t you feel TERRIBLY sorry for him? It’s too bad the rest of New England had only tube socks and grief to console them.

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This is not really their milieu, but Screenjunkies recommends five films like Pride and Prejudice. You know, for the corset crowd. (Screenjunkies)

Katherine Heigl has a very important message about “Dance Moms.” (Celebitchy)

The casts from all your favorite NBC shows (“30 Rock,” “The Office,” “Community,” etc.) did a big corporate song-and-dance number for the Super Bowl, and it lands somewhere between spectacular and spectacularly cheesy. (Vulture)

It’s not the first silly network promotional ad, of course. The networks have been making them for years. (Buzzfeed)

Sarah Chalke is bouncing back from her dreadful CBS sitcom, “Mad Love,” by signing on to an ABC pilot about a woman who is still living with her parents. (EW)

Seriously, how many Lilliputians do you think Amber Heard could fit into her mouth?

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Lovely reader Heather O. sent along this clip of Newark Mayor Cory Booker answering why gay marriage should not be put up for referendum. If you’re not doing anything in 2016, Mr. Booker, I know a very large White House that would suit you just fine.










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Comments

Hahaha. America is not ready for two black presidents in a row.

And Corey Booker is too edgy for most of America anyway.

Posted by: Sara Tonin at February 6, 2012 1:11 PM

"Seriously, how many Lilliputians do you think Amber Heard could fit into her mouth?"

-Well, since you asked, About 15 Brobdingnagians worth of 'em!

Posted by: bleujayone at February 6, 2012 1:15 PM

Who is Amber Heard?

Posted by: MRod at February 6, 2012 1:22 PM

You know that jacket that Ryan Gosling wears in Drive? Turns out, Ryan Gosling in the only man in America who can successfully pull it off.

I think you're forgetting Tommy's new bowling swag.
BOWL SO HARD / THAT SHIT CRAY

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 6, 2012 1:27 PM

Note to self: Do not ask Carlson for book recommendations.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at February 6, 2012 1:28 PM

Brady's marriage is basically what happened to Anakin Skywalker once he realized he was now beholden to Palpatine forever. He made his bed. Now he's gotta act happy about it.

But feel sorry for him? Of course not.

Posted by: Jay at February 6, 2012 1:30 PM

*

Star light
Star bright
First star I see tonight
Wish I may, wish I might
Have this wish I wish tonight:


I wish the world would think of Corey Booker instead of Snooki when they think of New Jersey.

Posted by: mswas at February 6, 2012 1:31 PM

Has Obama actually ever expressed his position on gay marriage? Or is he in the "separate, but equal" bullshit camp? And in that spirit: this.

Posted by: Joker at February 6, 2012 1:37 PM

I am not shocked to discover that it is nigh on impossible to pull off heteronormative manly attractiveness in a pale satin bomber jacket. Here's a good rule of thumb: avoid things that the Pink Ladies wear.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at February 6, 2012 1:38 PM

Posted by: Joker at February 6, 2012 1:39 PM

Mrs. Julien, it's a little early on Monday (for us West Coasters) to be using phrases like "heteronormative manly attractiveness".

Your point about Pink Ladies is well-taken, though.

Posted by: MM at February 6, 2012 1:47 PM

But feel sorry for him? Of course not.

This is what I don't get. Who is asking anyone to feel bad for him?

Posted by: branded at February 6, 2012 1:50 PM

Um...I love the Mayor? Like...Love him? 'DEAR GOD!' that bit? That made me LOVE. HIM.

LOVE.
Seriously, I am hot for this dude in SO many ways, not least of all his purdy eyes.

Posted by: Nadine at February 6, 2012 1:51 PM

I'm pretty sure those are some of the simplest words in the Julien lexicon, MM.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at February 6, 2012 1:57 PM

Corey Booker almost makes me wish I lived in Newark. almost

Posted by: miss kate at February 6, 2012 1:59 PM

Posted by: John G. at February 6, 2012 2:01 PM

I'm just trying to keep it all on the inclusiveness tip, man.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at February 6, 2012 2:02 PM

it lands somewhere between spectacular and spectacularly cheesy.
Also known as: musical theatre.

This ad made me dance in my seat. I love it unashamedly. Upon rewatching it, I want to put Richard Belzer and Peter Krause in a box for precious things and keep them under my bed. Well, Krause might come out occasionally for other uses...

Posted by: Patty O'Green at February 6, 2012 2:04 PM

"Seriously, how many Lilliputians do you think Amber Heard could fit into her mouth"

I'd pay to watch someone try...

Posted by: Squirrel at February 6, 2012 2:09 PM

I live near Newark, miss kate, trust me, it's not even an "almost". It's a "well, at least they have someone halfway decent in charge" at best.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at February 6, 2012 2:09 PM

I would like Cory in Trenton in 2013. Or in my bed tonight.

Posted by: SJfromSJ at February 6, 2012 2:09 PM

Amber Heard is a cool concept, but after seeing her on Top Gear, I feel like she's just a marketing construct.

Posted by: Eep at February 6, 2012 2:40 PM

Mayor Booker breaks it D O W N!!

Posted by: klingonfree at February 6, 2012 3:06 PM

Who said Gosling was pulling it off?

Posted by: Jay at February 6, 2012 3:13 PM

And a matchstick?

Posted by: Jay at February 6, 2012 3:18 PM

Those bookstore pix make me smile. Oh, how I love book stores.

Posted by: Sara Tonin at February 6, 2012 3:39 PM

"Dear god, we should not be putting civil rights issues to a popular vote, subject to the sentiments the passion of the day. ... No minority should have their rights subject to the passions and sentiments of the majority."

Exactly so. Equal rights. Under the law. The same rights. The same law. That little video clip is a whole civics course. Wonderful stuff.

My modest proposal on the issue - "gay marriage" - is to let the religious types declare any kind of marriage they want, then ignore them. Before the law we have "civil unions" for all who qualify.

We don't restrict people's freedom to be idiots. We do restrict people's ability to propagate idiocy through the law - or we try to.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at February 6, 2012 3:54 PM

Wow, it's refreshing to see a politician say something like that. I can only hope that my brothers' kids (my grand-nephews?) will look back on this time and be just as baffled as I am about how free and open racial discrimination was not too long ago in the United States. I think most politicians are reasonably intelligent people who say what they say to get votes. But, do they (people unlike Booker) really wanna be remembered by their great-grandchildren as bigots? As the George Wallace's of homophobia? It's clear to see that equal marriage rights for everyone are coming. And they wanna be on that side? It's bizarre and profoundly shortsighted.

Posted by: pissant at February 6, 2012 3:55 PM

The only reason Gosling is "pulling off" that jacket is he's the wheel man in several robberies and he stomps a guy to death in an elevator. So the jacket isn't responsible for the macho vibe, the eluding police and head stomping is.

It's a douchey-looking jacket no matter who wears it.

Maybe Jet Li could pull it off. Maybe.

Also, that Amber Heard photobomb is hilarious. For some reason, I find most photobombs hilarious. Esp. animal photobombs.

Posted by: Slash at February 6, 2012 4:14 PM

Ryan Gosling could not pull that jacket off. Mrs Julien, my daughter and I also thought of the pink ladies while watching Drive as well. Horrible, horrible jacket.

Posted by: hippyherb at February 6, 2012 4:21 PM

Re Goose pulling that jacket off:

I'm sure there are at least a few Pajibettes willing to help him do so, comments here notwithstanding.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at February 6, 2012 4:25 PM

I agree with the Mayor it's amazing the dumb stuff we have to argue about in the 21st century.

Posted by: John W at February 6, 2012 5:14 PM

crap, MRob beat me to it...but who the hell is amber heard?

Posted by: matty blue at February 6, 2012 5:29 PM

Am I the only one that's bothered by the fact that the Clint Eastwood commercial about Detroit wasn't filmed in Detroit?

Posted by: Hamtown Tracey at February 6, 2012 11:00 PM


True story:
Last summer I flew from DC to London with my mom. I'd periodically get up to use my legs or the loo, and notice there are a SHIT TON of hot hipster guys on my flight. One is sitting three rows behind me, and I swear he keeps looking at me! *giggle giggle* Every now and then I surreptitiously glance back, totally convinced he thinks I'm cute. I pass my time knitting socks and day dreaming about bumping into cute guy whilst in some random corner of England.
We deplane and end up on a string of moving walkways. The guy in front of us(one of the cute hipster guys)is pulling a case labeled "air travel-gear".
My mom talks to everyone. Seriously. She also likes to embarrass me on purpose. Or inadvertently.
Mom: "What does air travel-gear" mean?
Guy: "I work for a band, some of the equipment we use is delicate so we can't check it."
Mom:"Cool. My daughter does some work for a band. You may have heard of them, Carbon Leaf. What kind of band do you work for?"
Guy: "They are kind of cinematic, indie, new wave. They do a lot of unique and experimental viral music videos."
Me: Uh oh, this is starting to sound familiar.
Mom: "Hmm. Interesting. What's their name?"
Me: Looking down, I notice this air travel-gear sticker. A full half of the sticker is taken up by the letters OK Go. Which, somehow, my mother had missed. "Umm, Mom. I think it is probably OK Go. Mostly because of that sticker that says OK Go on it. Really big. You know who they are. We showed you some of their videos, you thought they were funny. Now let's leave this poor guy alone."
Me a few minutes later: FUCK. SHIT. FUCK. That cute hipster guy three rows behind me was the lead singer of OK Go. He was probably looking at me thinking "oh shit, she recognizes me, don't come over here, don't come over here, don't talk to me, be Waldo, blend in" not "she is really cute/seems interesting, I wish I could get up the nerve to go talk to her". Fiddlesticks!

It was a very disappointing realization. I really wanted that guy to think I was cute.

Second true story:
I totally have a signed, first edition copy of a Patricia Cornwell book.
She's also from Virginia. Mom is a librarian and goes to the annual state (and sometimes national, which is sooooo cool) conference every year. She brings home boxes of signed books and free stuff. I think the Cornwell is from a conference back in '96 or '97?

Posted by: DominaNefret at February 7, 2012 12:34 AM

Thank you DominaFret for introducing me to the phrase "Be Waldo!", which I will not scream inside my head when annoying people eye me in crowds.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at February 7, 2012 10:01 AM

I just rechristened my penis "Lilliputian."

I know, I know, it's got that working against it, but right after this post it's going back to Tunnel Monster.

Posted by: , at February 7, 2012 11:01 AM

Also, I can't be the only one who thinks Gisele has the ... OK, the bangin' body BUT not so much the face. Can I? She looks like what used to be called a "handsome" woman. "Fatal Attraction" was on last night and Glenn Close is sort of the same, kinda hot without actually being pretty. At least kinda hot until she starts boiling bunnies.

Here, you judge Gisele:

www.theplasticsblog.com/?p=315

See? Right, wasn't I?

Anyway, Tom is prettier.

Posted by: , at February 7, 2012 11:12 AM

DominaFret,

The advantage of just misses is you can interpret them however you want. As far as I'm concerned, your initial reaction was right.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at February 7, 2012 12:16 PM