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Adele May Be Scientifically Proven to Make You Cry, But Chris Cornell Will Make You Bawl

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (41)



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The good people over on Vanity Fair have dreamed up these divine “Downton Abbey” trading cards. Poor Edith. They’re right about Dr. Clarkson, too. He is the worst. (Vanity Fair)

While on the subject of “Downton Abbey” (more on the Christmas special in the next hour), here are 7 other famous Abbey’s in England. (Mental Floss)

Does Adele’s “Someone Like You” make you cry? There are scientific reasons for this. (Dave Chen)

We haven’t seen an episode since December, but “Community” wrapped up season three filming with Alison Brie And Danny Pudi Performing ‘Everybody Dance Now.’ (UPROXX)

Speaking of “Community,” “Inspector Spacetime” is totally getting its own web series. (Mary Sue)

Seven terribly attractive actors landed pilots last week. I rank them by hotness (Note: If I’d posted this on Pajiba, I’d have switched Moennig and Kreuk. KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE.) (Warming Glow)

“The Simpsons” aired its 500th episode last night (here’s the awesome closing title card), and during that time, there have been 244 other shows on Fox that have come and gone. Here’s the entire list (which naturally includes “Firefly.”) (Screenjunkies)

Confiscating your 14-year-old’s newly purchased video game? That’s a stabbin’. (Kotaku)

Best real headline of the political season so far: “Santorum blasts Obama during Cumming rally.” (Access North Georgia via Harmalicious)

Dean Parisot — the director of the phenomenal Galaxy Quest — has just signed on to one of the rare sequels I actually don’t mind. You can never have enough Helen Mirren. (Slashfilm)

Robert Fure takes aim at cable TV’s DVR services, which aren’t properly synced with programming. Nothing pisses me off more than when CBS overruns push back “The Good Wife” and I’m forced to use valuable DVR space to record “CSI: Miami” to get my Josh Charles fix. (FSR)

Gary Busey may be bankrupt, but thank God he’s still rich in bull’s heads, moccasins, and tambourines. (Film Drunk)

Chris Brown HATES seagulls. (Buzzfeed)

This list of eight of the most shocking scenes in comic books pulled me in straight away with “Hyde rapes the Invisible Man TO DEATH.” What? Also, minor spoiler on a potential upcoming “Walking Dead” development that sounds amazeballs (and makes me sad that John Hawkes didn’t sign on to the role). (Unreality)

You’re probably sick to death of Whitney Houston coverage by now, but this. THIS. Chris Cornell’s rendition of “I Will Always Love You” will rip the wet out of your tears.









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Comments

Dean Parisot — the director of the phenomenal Galaxy Quest — has just signed on to one of the rare sequels I actually don’t mind.

Red 2? Fingers crossed for the title Redder and Redderer.

Posted by: branded at February 20, 2012 1:12 PM

Me thinks seagulls hate Chris Brown.

Posted by: anikitty at February 20, 2012 1:20 PM

The Adele link is interesting but I'm not sure it's too accurate. The more common term for "appoggiatura" is "grace note." Most pop songs have them. That happens anytime a singer briefly sings one note before another on the same word. I don't know many people who cry when they hear "...Baby One More Time," but Britney Spears both suspends notes over changing harmonies and uses many appoggiaturas in her vocal performance.

Posted by: Robert at February 20, 2012 1:22 PM

I saw that Chris Cornell cover a few days ago and have played it several times a day since. It didn't make me cry, but only because I was beyond crying. Sniff.

Posted by: Zirze at February 20, 2012 1:24 PM

I hope Dolly Parton doesn't mind her beautiful song being taken over by a performance inferior to the original.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at February 20, 2012 1:40 PM

Whitney Houston didn't invent that damn song. Dolly recorded it in 1973. Shakey McCrackhead is getting a bit too much damn credit, methinks.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at February 20, 2012 1:42 PM

Oh yes, that was beautiful. I've always loved me some Chris Cornell. One of the best rock singers EVER, 'cause he sings with soul. I'm playing this video on my phone while babysitting my friend's 4-month-old, and he's all smiles right now. This baby has excellent taste, I'll play songs from Superunknown for him tomorrow.

Posted by: Rest In Peace at February 20, 2012 1:45 PM

*Sigh* Oh Whitney.

Posted by: Nadine at February 20, 2012 2:06 PM

My thoughts exactly, anikitty. That gull was definitely targeting Brown.

Posted by: Four Eyes at February 20, 2012 2:08 PM

I hope Dolly Parton doesn't mind her beautiful song being taken over by a performance inferior to the original.

Not in the slightest. She's raking in millions in royalties.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 20, 2012 2:13 PM

"Moennig will play Shrieber’s 'edgy' and 'intense' second-in-command."

By which we mean "lesbian," right?

Always good to see Kate working, don't get me wrong, but no matter what she does, she can't get away from Shane McCutcheon.

Posted by: Jerry at February 20, 2012 2:17 PM

The only 'ripping' that can be associated with that Chris Cornell video is the sound of his balls being removed prior to coming on stage. It was bad enough when poor old Whitney sang that flavourless dross.

Posted by: zeke the pig at February 20, 2012 2:18 PM

Your audience is nuts because Kreuk is the most terrible of the terribly attractive. But a procedural fairy tale on the CW doesn't have my hopes up for seeing more of her.

Posted by: Dave at February 20, 2012 2:22 PM

Here's a better Cornell tune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ue1LTjV0-5I

Posted by: Salad_Is_Murder at February 20, 2012 3:07 PM

No. The Adele song makes me want to strangle people; specifically, Adele. Have you listened to the lyrics? Horrid, horrid, horrid, bratty, whiny, completely insensitive and disrespectful twaddle.

Seriously, that song doesn't make me sad. It fills me with a fiery, burning rage.

Posted by: Samantha at February 20, 2012 3:28 PM

I've never heard of Chris Cornell before, but that was awful. Man needed to practice that song some more and get some guitar and singing lessons. In what universe did the tune on his guitar match the song he was catterwauling? The only person who should be singing that song is Dolly Parton, because she can actually sing it.

Posted by: BWeaves at February 20, 2012 4:18 PM

I was thinking just the other day that at the right point in my life, Someone Like You would have been my preferred musical accompaniment for making toast in the tub.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at February 20, 2012 4:18 PM

Posted by: BWeaves at February 20, 2012 4:23 PM

I can't help but picture myself at a wedding, with the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with, and my bitch crazy ex-girlfriend shows up at the reception, long after we broke up, trying to live out some Hollywood inspired, retard fantasy where I have a stroke at the sight of her and leave everything behind to live in the dumpster behind the 7-11 with our kids (aka stray fucking cats).

Every freaking time that stupid Adele song comes on. Its a slop of passive aggressive bullshit.

Posted by: Diablo at February 20, 2012 4:27 PM

So Dustin has never heard of Sleigh Bells and BWeaves has never heard of Chris Cornell.

Is this "Pajiba" or "Old Farts Quarterly"?

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 20, 2012 4:31 PM

I haven't heard the song so I read the lyrics. I do get a bit of a "that's your problem" feeling from them. Anyway, I heard two minutes of her voice a year or so ago and stopped there, so she's just a source of catty stories, back and forth, about her appearance for me, which can be fun sometimes.

Posted by: Jay at February 20, 2012 4:35 PM

Samantha I think I love you.

Posted by: clancys_daddy at February 20, 2012 5:08 PM

Now I reeeeaaaallllyyy hope that Adele eventually sings a cover of "I Will Always Love You" purely for the ensuing meltdown.

Posted by: branded at February 20, 2012 5:24 PM

Someone Like You makes sense to me when I remember it was written by someone 21 years old. Because even though that song doesn't work for me now...I can see my 21 year old self feeling it.

(much like my 15 year old self loved "On My Own" from Les Miz.)

Posted by: Sara Tonin at February 20, 2012 5:47 PM

I wish I was a seagull so I could hate me some Chris Brown...seagull style.

Posted by: klingonfree at February 20, 2012 5:56 PM

"I've never heard of Chris Cornell before..."

WHAT IN THE GODDAMN HELL????

Posted by: Rest In Peace at February 20, 2012 6:09 PM

Man, haters are out in force today. Not that either of those songs are my favorite, but those ladies sing/sang them very well.

Posted by: Matty at February 20, 2012 6:53 PM

Umm, Prairie Dogs,one of those 7 Hotties in TV Pilots, has a plotline snatched straight from an old episode of Friends...really, that's the basis for an entire show now?

Posted by: Scratch McGee at February 20, 2012 7:31 PM

Sorry, guys, but I can't hold it back anymore.

Can someone please explain to me why Whitney Houston was famous? I only remember her from that second-rate but successful movie I couldn't watch to the end, singing 'I wanna dance with somebody' as well as 'I will always love you' VERY LOUDLY (but not very well), and getting beaten up by Bobby Brown.

Posted by: FabMax at February 20, 2012 7:49 PM

As a huge fan of Chris Cornell, it pains me to agree with BWeaves on this. That rendition isn't too good. I have no idea what tune he is playing on the guitar, but it doesn't flow very well at all. Though I appreciated his vocals, it isn't a song one would ever associate with a male singer, I wish the sound quality was better.

For someone who isn't familiar with Chris Cornell, I can't imagine this giving you a reason to seek out more. But he is typically incredible just himself and an acoustic guitar. And some of his covers are the best I've ever heard.

Peace Love & Understanding
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0GKu5_QOvU&feature=related

Thank You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyofcew9mYc

Thank You in particular for me, even as a Led Zepplin fan I was never really a fan of this song. Though I think a lot of it has to do with where I was and what I associate with this particular version of the song.

Posted by: protoformX at February 20, 2012 7:54 PM

Whitney Houston version - overblown yet somehow still lacking passion or personality.

Dolly Parton version - subtle, yet packing emotional punch and personality.

I've never really understood the Whitney Houston love, but I've also never really been a fan of ballads. They tend to be all the same, overblown, no discernible personality coming through, and volume that we are supposed to mistake for emotion/passion.

Posted by: DominaNefret at February 20, 2012 8:51 PM

"Today's comment section underwritten by Tedious Bint Quarterly."

Posted by: firedmyass at February 20, 2012 9:10 PM

Chris Cornell is an incredible musician. He's probably the most talented artist that came out of the 90s, (Sorry, Kurt: Happy Birthday!).

Posted by: @Chrispeare at February 20, 2012 9:44 PM

That gull was targetting Brown for something that happened years ago! I notice it wasn't attacking Michael Fassbender in those photos. Hypocrite! I refuse to give that seagull any respect until it pecks Fassbender on the head.

Posted by: DarthBrookie at February 21, 2012 12:56 AM

If nothing else, I would think Pajibans would know Chris Cornell for the title song for "Casino Royale"

Posted by: Sara Tonin at February 21, 2012 11:02 AM

Chris Cornell; wasn't he the lead singer for Rage Against the Machines?

Posted by: Alabaster Salamander at February 21, 2012 1:34 PM

Thanks, protoformX - I was just about to suggest Cornell's take on "Thank You" as one of those cases where he REALLY nails a cover.

And while talking about artists who really nailed covers, take a listen to The Man in Black's version of Soundgarden's "Rusty Cage". Like "Hurt", it's like the song was written for Johnny by someone who didn't realize it.

Posted by: Bert at February 21, 2012 1:38 PM

people really need to ease up on the Whitney hate. She was a talented singer who sang some really well crafted songs. It's sad that she is dead. Always Love You was not my favourite of hers, but it was probably her last really huge hit and like it or not her version is significantly better known than Dolly's. Better *known*. Not 'better'. Chill out.

Posted by: koj at February 21, 2012 9:45 PM

Ooooooooooh boy. It's finally happened. We've been spending so much time together on pajiba that all of our cycles have synched up.

Posted by: Marya at February 21, 2012 11:31 PM

That happens anytime a singer briefly sings one note before another on the same word. I don't know many people who cry when they hear "

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