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About the Time Bryan Cranston Called the Police to Prevent Himself From Murdering His Girlfriend

By Dustin Rowles | Pajiba Love | July 16, 2013 | Comments ()


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Did you know that Timothy Olyphant was on Sex and the City before he was famous? IT’S TRUE! Here’s 20 more celebrities who were on the show before you know who they were. (Uproxx)

Comic Con kicks off this week, which means lot of enthusiastic coverage of television shows and movies that have nothing to do with comics, and just as many people complaining about what a shit-show Comic Con has become. Me? I appreciate that we f*cking pajama people can cover Comic Con from the comforts from our mother’s basements, the way God intended. Here’s the banner up in San Diego’s convention center for Breaking Bad, which by itself validates Comic Con’s existence to me.

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Speaking of Breaking Bad, GQ has a massive interview with Bryan Cranston. At one point, when asked if he had any evil inside of him, he confessed that he once got so angry with an ex-girlfriend he called the cops to prevent himself from killing her. (GQ)

On the subject of comic book movies, Peter Dinklage’s role in X-Men: Days of Future Past has been revealed. (Vulture)

Over on Twitter, Patton Oswalt just shredded Salon.com for being so glib in their humorlessness. It’s, uh, epic. (WG)

If you didn’t already know this was Sofia Vergara on the cover of Bazaar, you’d probably do three or four takes before you could guess her identity. Nice job, photoshop! (GFY)

With J.J. Abrams busy prepping Star Wars VII, who will direct Star Trek 3 now? How about … J.J. Abrams. (Slashfilm)

How dumb is Florida, you ask? Dumb enough to build a middle school on top of a WWI bombing range. And oh yeah: They’re still finding bombs and blowing them up. (Thanks BWeaves) (Orlando Sentinel)

Here’s a fun gallery of Aziz Ansari photoshopped onto rap album covers. My favorite: Wiz Kalifa. (Unreality)

You had to know that Leah Remini quitting the Church of Scientology would have consequences, but who knew they’d be SO grave. (Dlisted)

You know who hates Michael Bay as much as the rest of us? “Curb Your Enthusiasm’s” Jeff Garlin. (Flavorwire)

Full House’s Jesse Katsopolis’s (John Stamos) band, Jesse & the Rippers, will be reuniting on Fallon this Friday. Here’s a perfect tease from Stamos’ instagram account.




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Comments Are Welcome, Douches Are Not


  • Quatermain

    That Patton Oswalt article was great. I think that his description of Salon as part of "the professional outrage and desperate click-bait business" is spot-on as well as applicable to several other similar websites.

  • BlackRabbit

    I don't hate Michael Bay. He's good at doing what he loves to do. I don't care for those films, but that's all him. Hate's too strong a word for a dislike of a type of entertainment.

  • chanohack

    I really didn't have very strong feelings about him (other than "no thank you") until he got his gooey, 'splody, Fox-y fingers all over my TMNT/childhood. Now I shall not forgive.

  • googergieger

    I was going to do security for Comic Con, but apparently my incredibly super vulgar hate of the Oldboy remake makes me a "security risk". How that keeps me out yet my constant need to whip it out is not only fine but encouraged, is beyond me.

  • Wigamer

    I am hot for Bryan Cranston in ways I can scarcely admit, even to myself. I will watch Madagascar 3 with my children over and over just to listen to his voice. I have watched the dreadful Larry Crowne on HBO an embarrassing number of times, just to see him be an asshole to Julia Roberts. I think I have a problem.

  • Tinkerville

    If any Pajibans are attending Comic-Con this year I'll be there looking for someone to save me from the teeming masses. So, you know, please save me.

  • 10 years ago, Salon was my home page in my browser. A mix of news and culture, with a refined (if overly serious) editorial sensitivity. I had to remove them years ago, as I just couldn't take it any more, as the tone just couldn't find a balance that worked for me. The rewards of Andrew O'Hehir could not overcome the rest, and Laura Miller was too infrequent. The absurdity of the world demands some counterweight to unrelenting seriousness. [Disclaimer: I appreciated that they gave Glenn Greenwald a platform, even if I could only take so much of his line of inquiry into my brain.]

  • OH LORD - I was a Salon regular, too. Subscribed, commented on Table Talk. Hell, I was a Camille Paglia fan. But then they killed TT, and Paglia lost her damn mind, and I had to move on.

    I could read Greenwald 3 days out of 5.

  • Etaoin Sherdlu

    Same here; I was a faithful subscriber in their early years, but they lost their sense of humor somewhere along the way. The target audience now seems to be overly-concerned soccer moms.

    (I kid: some of my best friends are mothers of people who play soccer)

  • Don Juan de Markup

    Now that Oswalt has dispatched that gas bag Slate like Toshiro Mifune on the Hindenburg he needs to turn his katana like wit on HuffPo and disembowel and quarter them as well like the ronin that he is.

  • I feast on your comment and your combination of words and I am sated

  • Who's John Stamos?

  • rio

    well he really is the nicest man ever, and those are the one that can really go dark. I have a friend who is so freaking nice and never ever gets mad that I fear he must have corps in his basement or is this close to go full serial killer. Seriously, nice people are like awesome ticking bombs of crazy.

  • BendinIntheWind

    We need to talk about Sofia Vergara FOR REAL:

    She is a freaking gorgeous woman. GORGEOUS. Like her levels of beauty are barely understandable to our tiny human brains, and maybe she really is capable of speaking flawless English without an accent, but she keeps it because she knows if we weren't slightly distracted with parsing through the language barrier, we'd be susceptible to her full, undiluted beauty and our heads would collectively explode. (For our native Spanish speakers, I imagine the equivalent distraction would be the blonde hair earlier in her career, because holy shit the brunette works so much better)

    So WHY, on every magazine cover, every photo spread, and *most creepily* every Pepsi commercial has she been CGI sandblasted to look like a plastic mannequin?! SHE'S FUCKING GORGEOUS ALREADY, LEAVE HER ALONE!

  • L.O.V.E.

    Damn, Cranston really is the one who knocks.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    That DListed/HuffPo on Remini/Alley makes next to no sense. If Alley didn't actually have a relationship with Remini, and doesn't mention her specfically, it's just conjecture & gossip that the lame tweets are about Remini.

  • apsutter

    Speculation yes but Alley has a long history of being an outspoken bully when famous(or hell really anyone) has left the cult. It's all part of the public shaming and dissassociation that comes when someone tries to run from Scientology.

  • JJ

    DListed and HuffPo are conjecture and gossip sites. Especially when it comes to fabricating headlines to drive page hits. Plus, who cares about Alley's twitter account?

  • AgLexington

    Patton Oswalt for President!

  • MelBivDevoe

    Dude! I have been actively avoiding the X-Men:DOFP spoliers for days! Maybe a little warning next time?

  • Um, the article itself has a spoiler warning in it. Why did you keep reading??

  • MelBivDevoe

    I didn't click the article. The blurb had the info in it; Dustin removed it.

  • NateMan

    When Mel posted the spoiler was right in Pajiba Love, not the article.

  • Ah, that makes sense! Sorry. I didn't realize.

  • pajiba

    SORRY. I had no idea that was a spoiler. Modified accordingly, with apologies.

  • MelBivDevoe

    Maybe it only is to maladjusted nerds like me? In any case, thanks.

  • John G.

    None of those Patton Jokes were anywhere near as funny as his standup, neither the first one that caused the issue, nor his replies.

    This is the man who gave us "KFC's failure pile in a sadness bowl."

  • Jennifer Schmennifer

    They certainly weren't worth the tantrum he threw over it in his blog entry. Patton, people don't like your joke. Get over it.

  • NateMan

    He can indeed be pissy at times. He's still one of my favorite comedians these days, and is incredibly intelligent and kind. But yeah, that was just bitchy.

  • Jennifer Schmennifer

    I used to see him do stand up in the mid-90s, when he was awkward and hard to watch. He was funny, of course, and had good material. But his ego didn't seem to be what it is now. I do still enjoy his work, and I don't care that I was downvoted for saying there are people who didn't like his joke. The point is that it's supposed to come with being a comedian--not everyone is going to like everything you say. So I found that blog entry really off-putting.

  • You do realize that Salon compared his joke to the Zimmerman verdict, right? It was never "my joke is funny, you suck for not getting it", it was "my joke wasn't that serious, you suck for treating it with more seriousness than it deserved". If it was just a bad joke, why go through all that on their end?

    There's being pissy over a heckler, and then there is dressing down a bunch of sanctimonious buttholes who were still sore from the last time they decided to get all dramatic about him.

    If anything, the only one being overly sensitive to criticism is Salon, for expecting him to just sit there at let them hector him.

  • Jennifer Schmennifer

    Uh, yeah, thanks for checking my reading comprehension skills. That's always the way to go.

    Look, I'm not saying that Salon writer isn't equally thin-skinned. I'm saying Patton Oswalt's diatribe was still unnecessary. His joke was stupid, and not worth the impassioned defense. People get mad at comedians for making rape jokes. Why be surprised at people getting mad when they do race jokes, too?

    He's smarter than that. He's smarter than that joke. And he's been online long enough to know that tone doesn't always come across.

  • I wasn't questioning your reading comprehension. I was trying to put the situation into perspective. Tone may not always come across, sure, but Salon didn't care about tone, they only cared about beating Patton in the name of liberal street cred.

    Yeah, Patton sounds pissy. But I would too if I just got through with being accused by Salon of supporting rape culture by NOT saying something, only to turn around and see them now say I'm a racist because of a lame joke on Twitter. And then they double down on the arrogance with their lame "4th grade" rebuttal, only to start crying when folks responded with their own jokes.

    Was the joke funny? Not really. It got a chuckle from me, mainly because of how immensely stupid the KTVU thing was. Did Patton deserve the snide hectoring he got from them? No. Should he have bothered responding to their mess at all? Probably not. Did it warrant the passive-aggressive reference to a controversial race-related court case that just got finished and people are really sore about? HELL NO.

    Between this and that Sirota crap, I simply cannot give Salon the benefit of a doubt now. They know exactly what they are doing.

  • NateMan

    If I recall correctly, Cranston also played a family annihilator on Criminal Minds before I got entirely tired of the depression those kinds of show cause in me. That makes it a little extra creepy. On the other hand, good on him for making sure he didn't do something horrible.

  • Monsies

    He did not play a family annihilator on CM, I am almost certain. He's not listed as ever being a part of that show. If you're thinking of the creepy short killer who made children draw black and white photos before he made the dads watch their families be killed, then it is most definitely a different actor (Neal Jones.)

  • NateMan

    Nope, I'm thinking of the father who whacked his family, then was driving around basically killing people who ticked him off on the highway. I could have sworn it was him, but I haven't seen the episode in probably 2 years and I can't find it. I fully admit I'm probably wrong.

  • It still amazes me the ability to plumb that kind of darkness that he does.

    Not as much as the fact that he was a voice actor on Might Morphin' Power Rangers, and that they liked him so much they named the original Blue Ranger after him.

  • tmoney

    Have Mercy!

    also, "Remember my name" makes me think of Flashdance.

  • Captain_Tuttle

    Or Fame? Apparently its name did not live forever.

  • tmoney

    And there's my foot in my mouth. Whoops.

  • Captain_Tuttle

    Hee. I wouldn't have even noticed, but that damn song has been stuck in my head since I saw the damn banner. I need to give my earworm away. Anyone want it?!

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