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A Message for Congress and the MPAA: Cram It Up Your Cramhole Or We'll Sic Gina Carano On You

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (40)



gina-caran380-36774.jpg

What? WHAT? So, not only do the MPAA and Congress (specifically douchebag extraordinaire, Chris Dodd) get to threaten the Internet’s livelihood with SOPA, now they’re throwing a bitch-fit at sites like Wikipedia for shutting down for the day, calling it an “irresponsible” gimmick. Elton John is not impressed. (Slashfilm)

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Rosie O’Donnell has provided incontrovertible proof that Tom Cruise absolutely cannot be gay while simultaneously saying something stupendously moronic. (WarmingGlow)

This gallery of Maury Povich Screencaps will probably reduce your faith in humanity even more that a movie called LOL. (ScreenJunkies)

Is it possible that Superman Returns was much better than we remember? This is an awfully strong case for it. (Dave Chen)

Few have sang the virtues of hoodies better than Eric Snider. They are magnificent. (Snide Remarks)

Brad Brevet has unleashed his 2011 Movie Awards. (Ropes of Silicon)

Hey British people and smug downloaders: How’d you like the most recent season of “Sherlock Holmes”? CBS thinks they can do it better. If they hire Tom Selleck to play Sherlock, so help me God, I will pluck that mans’ mustache from his face hair by hair. (Collider)

Speaking of British series, am I to understand that British people don’t like “Downton Abbey” as much as we do Stateside? Newsweek explores our odd obsession. (The Daily Beast)

Sadly, Pajiba has been blacklisted from Sundance this year (and perhaps longer), so you’ll have to get your Sundance coverage elsewhere. Might we suggest FilmSchoolRejects? Kate Erbland’s 10 Most Anticipated Films provokes an unhealthy amount of jealousy. (FSR)

Scott Mendelson makes the case that Beauty and the Beast’s Belle may have a Schizoid Personality Disorder and that the entire film revolves around a bad case of Stockholm Syndrome. (Mendelson’s Memos)

Awww. The founder of Cracker Barrel has died. And it wasn’t because of their terrible terrible food (except for the chicken and dumplings because, YUM). (NRN)

Cheerleaders. In Wonder Woman costumes. YOU’RE WELCOME. (The Mary Sue)

Barack Obama sent a letter to Zooey Deschanel for her birthday. I have no idea what to say about that. Cool? (Twitter)

This is our keyword search logs for the hour after the Golden Globes. You’d think that all anyone cared about is Michael Fassbender’s penis. But he’s also quite erudite. (Charlie Rose)

Steven Soderbergh’s Haywire opens this weekend, and we’ve already sung the praises of Gina Carano. Here she is putt a radio DJ in a sleeper hold. (via Withleather)










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Comments

Is it possible that Superman Returns was much better than we remember?

You mean YOU assholes, there's no WE here.

"Sherlock" was great, again, but I'd never be smug about it, that'd be pointless.

Posted by: Jay at January 18, 2012 1:14 PM

Is Wikipedia a "technology business interest"? I never thought they were, and I don't see how they have any requirement or responsibility to do what they do. If they want to do a blackout to draw attention to what's going on, and have no contractual obligation or anything to provide their services, then they are free to do so.

Posted by: Todd at January 18, 2012 1:15 PM

CagePotato did a tribute to Jim Norton, the DJ in the video. He is an awesome stand up comic who gets beat up by all of his MMA guests. Check it out.

hxxp://www.cagepotato.com/mma-video-tribute-jim-nortons-nine-most-painful-interviews/

Posted by: Celery Man at January 18, 2012 1:15 PM

Why were you guys blacklisted at Sundance? Too much contact with FilmDrunk?

Posted by: maka at January 18, 2012 1:15 PM

Maka: It's a story for another day, another time.

Posted by: Dustin Rowles at January 18, 2012 1:18 PM

Yes, what Maka said. What happened?

Posted by: Skyler Durden at January 18, 2012 1:19 PM

Not to make light of the SOPA/PIPA issue, but I wish Wikipedia would do a month-long black0out. I'd really like to go through just one term where students actually have to do real research for their papers.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 18, 2012 1:20 PM

Considering that anybody with even a basic knowledge of the film industry knows that the MPAA is a hypocritical and 100% bullshit "association" (including the people that make films) Presisent Cockfucker's statements should get exactly the amount of consideration they deserve. That is, we should SQUIRREL!

Posted by: admin at January 18, 2012 1:20 PM

https://www.google.com/landing/takeaction/

Also, I don't know how much petitions actually work, but sign this because why not.

Fuck SOPA.

Posted by: Skyler Durden at January 18, 2012 1:21 PM

Now I'm really tempted to Google "Michael Fassbender penis" just to see what other results I'd get.

Posted by: pickled tink at January 18, 2012 1:26 PM

I would personally do everything within my power to block any site that has copyrighted material, extend copyright terms, and destroy free speech in this country and abroad if you would sic Gina Carano on me.

Posted by: pissant at January 18, 2012 1:31 PM

Fair enough, sir.

Posted by: maka at January 18, 2012 1:31 PM

It would strike me that the blacklist is really a VIP invite, disguised as a smackdown challenge. One might consider an Occupy Sundance strategy - I don't think they can win, provided you simply show up and take the high ground.

And I don't think Mrs Robinson (it has to be, am I right?) would mind shivering in the cold for a few days. Some fellas surely would offer to warm her up.

Posted by: Tao at January 18, 2012 1:36 PM

Todd, the MPAA's narrative is that Silicon Valley profits off of piracy, so anyone who opposes SOPA/PIPA is connected to "technology business interest."

Posted by: Robert at January 18, 2012 1:37 PM

Those Wonder Woman Cheerleaders...thoughts...in my head...so wrong...must get out...Polanski...pyramids...

I can't help it. I was built this way.

Can you self report to the Megan's Law website? After that little mental excursion, I really feel like I should.

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at January 18, 2012 1:51 PM

Sweet Baby Jesus that header image of Gina Carano is amazing.

I'd let her choke me out any day.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at January 18, 2012 2:02 PM

Pajiba got blacklisted from Sundance? I was always under the impression you guyes were a bunch teddybears in real life. OK, lawyer teddybears, but still, blacklisted? What did you do? Steal Robert Redford's toupee?

Posted by: BWeaves at January 18, 2012 2:12 PM

If I may, I'd like to apologize to Chris O'Dowd for my comments the other day about the circumstances surrounding his conception. He has won me over for ever with this lovely comment on hearing his film was nominated for a BAFTA.

“It’s interesting to note that the other films in this category are all comedies – apart from The Iron Lady of course which is obviously a horror story. It’s nice to be rewarded for trying to bring some fun and joy into people’s lives – unlike Lady Thatcher who was rewarded for doing the exact opposite.”

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 18, 2012 2:29 PM

Banned from Cannes? Why? Do tell. Did you say too many nasty things about Gwyneth Paltrow?

Posted by: John W at January 18, 2012 2:32 PM

Dustin, it may be another story for another time, but we better get to hear it EVENTUALLY. Or I will sic Gina Carano on you, and not in a sexy way! In a "now you're passed out, suck on *that*" kinda way.

Posted by: MM at January 18, 2012 2:33 PM

Zooey Deschanel might have worked on the 2008 campaign. My friend gets personalized Christmas and birthday cards from the president.

Posted by: anikitty at January 18, 2012 2:41 PM

I just had lunch at Cracker Barrel. And it was DELICIOUS. Hater.

Posted by: Sarah Carlson at January 18, 2012 2:50 PM

I get Obama cards too. I think pretty much anyone who signs up to help and provides an email gets them.

Of course not everyone gets the special video that Betty White got: that was fun.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 18, 2012 2:54 PM

Of course not everyone gets the special video that Betty White got: that was fun.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! BWAHAHAHAHA......BWAHAHAHAHAHA!


"Miss you , Betty. Here's what Michele and I were up to last night."

*Bass line*

Posted by: admin at January 18, 2012 3:10 PM

Amen to that PaddyDog... my students had to use books today.

Posted by: sevenstories at January 18, 2012 3:21 PM

Well John W. according to the show Supernatural Gwyneth Paltrow is a Leviathan here to take over the world, so you may be on to something

Posted by: Dingle Berry at January 18, 2012 3:26 PM

What's wrong with Cracker Barrel? I LOVE them. Of course, I live in the NE, so I've no basis for comparison for homestyle Southern cooking.

On second thought, don't tell me. I prefer to keep eating in blissful ignorance.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 18, 2012 3:28 PM

SOPA is un American for no other reason that it will make it mush more difficult to circulate Alison Brie Gifs. Or do this:

http://coedmagazine.com/2012/01/17/gina-carano-hot-sexy-haywire-movie-pictures/gina-carano-overdose-1/#3

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 18, 2012 3:36 PM

I don't know where you've got to with Downton Abbey in the US but over here the backlash started during series (or season as you would say) 2. I quite enjoyed series 1 even if it was soapy nonsense but series 2 wasn't very good really and the Christmas special was so boring....

Posted by: TS at January 18, 2012 3:51 PM

Gina Carano pic, blah, blah, blah.

I'm sorry, Dustin, did you say something?

Posted by: MrFrye at January 18, 2012 3:57 PM

Downton Abbey: I think British critical opinion was "it's not very good". I think the British public didn't give a toss.

Sherlock: I...can't even begin to describe how awesome that was. I'm so thankful I get BBC. I loved the first season. The second season - episode one was brilliant, episode two was okay for Sherlock but fantastic when compared with most things on TV. I don't think I'm quite ready to talk about episode three yet, except to say that it was devastating and that Martin Freeman is a much better actor than people give him credit for. Wow.

Posted by: Zirze at January 18, 2012 3:59 PM

I don't think I'm quite ready to talk about episode three yet

I don't want to blab and spoil. At all. And I've been sitting on just about everything. It's much more a lonely feeling of wanting people to freak out with. Oh well, everything with this show is about patience.

Posted by: Jay at January 18, 2012 4:03 PM

Okay, so the British critics didn't like Downton Abbey because it's essentially a soap masquerading as a serious drama, but this myth that has suddenly emerged that the British public also hate it is ridiculous. Seasons One and Two of DA are the highest rated show in the drama category on British TV in the past 10 years. The Christmas special even beat out Eastenders for the number-one most watched spot (once DVR ratings were in), and ITV has already commissioned Season Three. So they can pretend all they want that they're above it all and the Yanks are just idiots for going all smushy over pretty dresses in a stately home, but the reality is quite the opposite.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 18, 2012 4:38 PM

I always felt that the hatred for Superman Returns was always a lot more intense than it deserved. I know people don't want to admit it, but it wasn't any worse than the original Superman movies -- the first two installments of which exist inside a bullet-and-criticism-proof shield of nostalgia -- and a lot better in some ways. There was a lot of fanboy anger aimed at Bryan Singer for leaving the X-Men franchise, particularly when it was announced that Bret Ratfuckner was taking over, and I think a lot of that got directed toward the movie.

Posted by: Craig at January 18, 2012 6:20 PM

Please! we must know the whole Sundance banishment
story. i hope it's not another just another
noodle incident

Posted by: Adamp at January 18, 2012 7:07 PM

No, Superman Returns sucked. Except for the plane crash scene. Routh was decent. But the awful lifeless script let him down. No fight scenes(Superman should fight someone). The horribly miscast Kevin Spacey.

Posted by: seanx40s at January 19, 2012 12:06 AM

PaddyDog, the top rated TV shows last year in the UK were The X Factor, The Royal Bloody Wedding, Strictly Come Dancing, Britain's Got Talent, and I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. So I wouldn't say the great British public has a phenomenal track record of connecting with quality shows. I mean, we're entirely responsible for the success of Baywatch for crying out loud (seriously, look it up when Wikipedia's back).

In general, wherever you are, sh*te rises to the top of the TV ratings and no country can avoid it or claim to be above it.

The big difference has been in the critical acclaim sent Downton's way in the US while it is conspicuous by its absence in the UK. This could be because British critics are snobby and can't recognize quality drama that has mass appeal or it could be because American critics pretty much fall into the trap that Simon Schama explains in the article.

Posted by: Keven at January 19, 2012 1:08 AM

I watched the pilot of Downton Abbey recently. While I agree that it is brilliantly acted, I don't see the point. Why should I care about the show's character's again?

Posted by: FabMax at January 19, 2012 7:05 AM

Keven:

I agree with you about the tastes of the British public (and don't beat yourself up too much about Baywatch, the Germans have some heavy responsibiity there too), but literally everything I read lately has something about how the average Brit in the street is laughing at those silly Americans for loving Downton Abbey and I immediately think of pots and kettles.

Posted by: PaddyDog at January 19, 2012 10:09 AM

Superman Returns was more awful than we remember. I have 3,000+ movies downloaded on hard drives, but that is not one of them.

Posted by: trickyhd at January 20, 2012 12:48 AM