Pajiba

I have an evil mother and I STILL called her and sent her flowers.

Congratulations on your uh...determined entry into the world, Dr. P.

I have problems with the home birth fear so many people seem to have (esp in the US it seems). I am an almost 30 year old (30 on the 30th baby!) walking talking success story of home birth. It can be an amazing experience and my mum much preferred my birth to my brother's in hospital (though I am sure it didn't help that she was in a leg cast up to her hip - another story). Here in the UK numbers of home births are dropping and you're seen as some sort of hippie, dangerous freak if you want to have that experience. Obviously not everyone can, but we're losing the support systems for those who want to, and it doesn't sit well with me. It should still be an option, and it feels like it's going to be taken away.

So says the non-parent, just to get that out of the way.

I have a penis, and I don't have a child, so my opinions may not matter that much, given the subject, but here's my two cents.

I was born with extreme difficulty, due to a ton of reasons. My mother was (and continues to be) a very small woman, weighing in at just about 100 pounds and 5 feet normally. You can imagine her being pregnant causes problems. She had miscarried just before being pregnant with me, so there have been problems before.

With my actual birth, the water broke too soon, and I had swallowed a lot of the fluid. It took over a day for me to get out, meaning the fluid that was supposed to ease the birth wasn't doing its job at this point. When I did come out, I was blue in the face, choking, and it took a while for the doctor to get me breathing. I was in the incubator for a whole month, with needles stuck in my scalp (because you don't stick that big of a needle in a baby's arm). My mother said it was the most excruciating moment of her life (she said this in a loving way, though).

The reason I talk about this is because I think it's a bit odd that people are choosing to go to midwives, because they fear hospitals. So many things can go wrong, and it just seems silly to me. Granted, hospitals have their own problems, with chances of infection, the high cost, not to mention the lack of choice as the article mentions, but ultimately, isn't it the lesser of two evils? Isn't safety the priority when it comes to childbirth?

(I just read back the comment and it's really weird that I described my own birth in a first-person perspective.)

The problems people have with home birth are because when complications happen (and they often do), they often happen quickly and you're not in a hospital with doctors and medical intervention that can save your or your kid's life. You could start to bleed out, go into shock and die before an ambulance gets there. Then your kid's motherless.

Pregnancy and birth are pretty hazardous. That doesn't negate the advantages of home birth, but it's just an acknowledgment of the fact that women died in rather large numbers before medical interventions like surgery and blood transfusions were available.

I am a mother of three. All unmedicated births. Two with a midwife in a birthing center. Midwifes are trained medical professionals, mine were both registered labor and delivery nurses. Mine had relationships with the local hospital and have firm procedures regarding when a laboring mother should be transferred to the hospital. My hospital birth was a terrible experience. Even with my birth plan and a very uncomplicated delivery my choices were ignored or ridiculed. The reason I chose to have an unmedicated birth and to forgo hospitals altogether was to avoid unnecessary interventions that lead to surgery. The c-section rate in this country is between 25% - 30%. In other developed countries the rate is half that. Women who choose to deliver with midwives are not ignorant or reckless. The dismissive tone of this post is offensive. Particularly from someone who has no personal experience on the topic.

I was actually born 18 days after the due date, and my mother is not a particularly large woman either. That probably makes it understandable why she rarely talks about my birth (and those of my brothers). But then, I come from South Asia, where people do not make much fuss about pregnancy and childbirth.

Oh, and the only person to put my mother in any kind of danger at my birth was a doctor. She needed stitches and back then midwives were only allowed to do three or they had to get a doctor. When he heard it was a home birth he refused to come out and so she had to go to hospital. Thankfully action was taken against him for that.

And I'll try and shut up now. I mostly want people to keep an open mind about it and not dismiss it outright.

Might I recommend Ricki Lake's documentary (The Business of Being Born) on the subject? Made us think twice about using a hospital for our third baby. And you get to see Ricki's boobs, so, you know. Bonus.

Home birth if fine if you can do it, but people (ie, usually women) are often as ridiculous about birth as they are about everything else involving children - insisting that if you do it differently from them, you're wrong. They regale you with all sorts of nightmarish stories about their birth experience to scare you away from whichever one they disapprove of.

And the high Caesarean rate in the U.S. is bad, something that hospitals should do something about, but some of it (not all of it, obviously) is because many mothers now insist on scheduling birth for when it's most convenient for them, rather than when the baby is actually ready to be born.

As for hostility to the home birth idea, I don't have any experience of that. I assume it's coming from doctors. Or maybe the aforementioned control freak mothers.

On the home birth thing: I think, first of all, that I should clarify that my mother 1) had exactly zero complications during her pregnancy with me, 2) has the same childbearing hips as the rest of the family and 3) has not had any female relatives who experienced difficult births. And I wasn't breach or anything like that. In other words, there is no reason anybody would have predicted that she would die in childbirth, and yet if she hadn't given birth to me in a hospital, she would have. Hospitals do pressure women into negative birth experiences, birthing centers are, I'm sure, awesome, and many home births go off without a hitch. I have no problem with anyone else choosing to have a home birth (as long as there's no known risk factors in their personal case), but you better believe that if I ever do push out a little one it will be in a hospital surrounded by doctors and medications with a supply of my own blood standing by on ice (because blood banks run out sometimes) because SHIT. HAPPENS.

If I had it to do over again, I would 100% do a home birth. For two reasons.

First, there was no more dehumanizing experience for me than giving birth in a hospital. You are a bag of meat. You will be pushed, prodded, poked, ignored and spreadeagled for tours of people walking through the hospital. You get no vote on this. You will be fit into the hospital's and doctor's schedule as much as possible, regardless of whether that's good or bad for your baby or you. Many of the decisions made on your behalf are NOT for any better reason than it makes the doctor's life easier. If you so much as DARE to question this, they shrug their shoulders and say, "Well, if you don't care about your baby...." Yeah. It sucks. Don't believe the pretty maternity center brochures. Is my attitude colored by a HORRIBLE OB? Yes it was. I later discovered this doctor had a framed letter that she sent to the maternity nurses instructing them not to call her a "psychotic bitch" in the presence of her patients.

Second, I now know a midwife. I know what kind of patients she accepts. I know how much ongoing training she pursues. I know exactly what kind of precautions she takes, which ALWAYS include having an emergency plan. I've also heard the stories of how, when the emergencies DID happen, she and her patient have been PUNISHED by hospitals because they had the temerity to attempt a home birth. Made to wait around, with a mother in labor in distress, because somebody wanted teach a terrified mother a lesson about not using a traditional hospital.

We ARE terrified of giving birth, more so than is prudent. I don't put giving birth up on a pedestal, either...mammals do it all the time, and yes, I'm glad we have modern procedures that can help mothers and babies. It's not a disease, though. And it generally isn't either a beautiful rosy-tinted experience or a screaming pit of hell. It's a pretty common experience that needs a big fat injection of common sense from both sides.

Another perspective here. Both of my hospital births were wonderful, and with a midwife. I got asked what I wanted to do at each and every stage. I spent part of my time laboring in a tub. Noone ever tried to slip the babes a bottle when I said I was breastfeeding. (And I got a visit from the hospital's lactation consultant as a matter of routine.). My husband stayed with me (sleeping over) the whole time in the room. I slept in a bed with my child beside me in a bassinet. After the second, I almost cried when we had to leave because it was such a bubble of calm and helpfulness there. No complaints or regrets at all.

And, no, we don't live in a big city. Birthing suites just come standard in our hospitals.

I wouldn't consider having a kid anywhere that doesn't involve the epidural. Seriously people. There is no benefit to the natural childbirth except some sort of freaky bragging rights amongst your play group peers. Oh and being able to describe in detail what it feels like to feel your skin tear apart.

A friend of mine is studying to be a midwife, and posted this the other day http://erinmidwife.com/2011/03/31/if-i-were-at-home-i-would-have-died/

I think that it is a fair look at why the "If I were at home I would have died" mentality. Birth in a home occurs differently then in a hospital - not better, not worse, but differently. "There are risks at home and there are risks at the hospital. Each place possess a different set of risks." Everyone should be able to make their own choices, but based on facts, not fear. PItocin has been shown to cause harm to the mother, there is no conclusive research on the effects of an epidural on the baby, but it has been linked to fetal distress, abnormal fetal heart rate, drowsiness and poor sucking reflex. Do the benefits outweigh the risks? That's not for me to decide for anyone other than me.

And as someone who normally enjoys Dr. Pisaster's contributions to Pajiba, I gotta say, I was disappointed by this entry - as another commenter mentioned, the tone was dismissive, and not really balanced on the facts. You mention some statistics about maternal death rates, failing to mention that over half of maternal deaths are from preventable causes and that the US has not had a decline in maternal death rates in nearly 30 years, while 20 other countries have managed to lower theirs to rates lower than ours (http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/00054602.htm). Just sayin'....have your opinion, but again, facts - not fear - I expect more out this site.

My mom had me two and half months early. I was born breech, ass first (as she loves to remind me) within 50 minutes of entering the hospital. There was no time for an epidural, she was already 10 cm dilated. She told me that by the end she didn't care if I died, she died, the whole world blew apart-she just wanted the pain to stop. Then I was born weighing 3 lbs and looking like a plucked chicken. All was well. Same happened with my brother and sister, she never had a labor last more than an hour and a half. She says it was worth it. And I'm sure it was. But because I don't know that pain, I am deathly afraid of it. And I want kids-but man, I will be friggin terrified :) Also, my mom is the coolest woman alive and I'm lucky to have her. Even though she still likes to jokingly blame me for her episiotomy.

And on the subject of home births, I only know one girl who had one and she said it was as great as it could have been. She had no complications. I personally wouldn't want a home birth, but I do want a mid-wife there at the hospital like my friend who had a baby 2 months ago. She said that amid the prodding and the one mean nurse, that the mid-wife was her harbor in the storm.

I don't have children of the human variety. I guess I should preface my comment with that. With almost all things in life, there are extreme cases on either end of the spectrum, but to me the health of a newborn baby shouldn't be a situation where you take any unnecessary risk. I don't know if I want to have kids, but if I do I want it in a hospital, with lots of drugs and a operating room on stand by. My mom had one of those 3 days in labor situations with me and then with my sister she was in labor for a crazy amount of time until they finally had to do a c-section. My sister was in labor for a crazy amount of time too (can't remember the exact figure) and was absolutely begging for a c-section but was denied. She was pushing for almost 4 hours and in the end my nephew was born after aspirating meconium and couldn't breathe. It's not a common situation, yes, but could happen to anyone. I just don't understand why anyone would take that kind of risk. It does seem selfish to me.

And I agree that the no-pain-meds groupies are just out to brag for the bragging's sake. Oh my God, I don't care about your facebook posts about new little Madison or Jaelyn or whatever else stupid ass name you came up with and how you did it with no drugs. Maybe if you were drugged up you would have realized what a douche you were being for fucking your kid for life with that name.

I'm surprised at how this article makes giving birth (regardless of whether at home or in hosp) seem like something so exceedingly dangerous, when it is actually less risky than things we do daily, such as drive a car! I don't think people should deny that childbirth can be dangerous or have complications, but people seem to be overly terrified of the process.

Wow. I didn't expect to find such homebirth nonsense on this site.

Fact is, in the case of uncomplicated birth homebirth can be very nice. In the case of complications, particularly serious ones, you have far more risk of dying, killing your child, or leaving it with serious brain damage or disabilities.

That's because you don't 'like' hospital. Fine. My friend doesn't like seatbelts. They dig into his neck. He's still taking a foolish risk.

I'm surprised at how this article makes giving birth (regardless of whether at home or in hosp) seem like something so exceedingly dangerous, when it is actually less risky than things we do daily, such as drive a car!

This is categorically untrue.

Do any of you "I WILL HAVE AN EPIDURAL" folks really know what you're asking for? I am so NOT a pain junkie. I, in fact, DID opt for an epidural, because the major pain involved in childbirth is not from contractions, but from the changes to the cervix. Once that process began, it hurt.

Here's the dirty secret about epidurals. They wear off. Often. Labor can be long. They also may make you feel really nauseous. And, during a time when you are working up a pretty good sweat, you can't so much as have a drink of water if you've been given an epidural. My epidural wore off in half my body, so one side of my lower body was pretty much useless and the other side was feeling everything. Feeling everything WASN'T so bad, I promise. Puking on an empty stomach was worse. And the first thing I did when my daughter finally arrived was down a freakin' gallon of water, as much as they would give me. I was so desperately thirsty.

I'm really quite shocked by the anti-homebirth sentiments here from people who've never gone through childbirth. They are a far cry from Ma Ingalls biting down on a leather belt while Pa boiled water on the iron stove. My baby was put in MORE danger because my doctor essentially coerced me into inducing labor. This isn't some artsy-fartsy anti-establishment theory, I know this for a fact -- we had to stay in the hospital an extra five days because she needed a course of tests and antibiotics to make sure she didn't get a massive infection from the induction. I later learned this is much more common than people realize.

And that's the thing...not every hospital birth is going to be as unpleasant as mine was. But I've talked to a lot of moms who have had just as unpleasant, unnecessarily expensive, and frightening births as mine. You don't hear about them when you go through the maternity orientation program. I went along with the program all the way and I would NOT be as intimidated by the staff (or stay with my horrible OB) ever again, though now my childbearing days are pretty much over. Just...don't buy into the propaganda, from either side.

"I'm really quite shocked by the anti-homebirth sentiments here"

I think it's because we have good numbers and good understanding of the risks of birth, but no good numbers for doctors "making it worse" or any evidence beyond anecdotal that this is a problem.

If you have a homebirth you are X% likely to bleed-out, Y% likely to have a breech/deprive the child of oxygen/Z% etc. You have ?% chance of getting a doctor who isn't as good as a homebirth.

Um, OK. I'm a little shocked at the vitriol here, reading this so early in the morning so I'm gonna try to keep it short-ish.

I have two kids, first one was born in a hospital in the US. They (legally) had to induce labor when my water broke and no contractions started after 12 hours. I had no choice in this. I had two epidural procedures, the first one missed the mark; neither offered any relief. From start to finish was a hard and exhausting 36 hours. Midwives in attendance throughout. I was supposed to deliver in a birthing center, but the midwives kept it real at the hospital, even when the nurses ignored me, since I wouldn't give in and go for the c-section. No episitotomy, no tearing, no stitches necessary. Midwives rock no matter where they deliver a baby.

Second baby delivered at home, in our bed, no drugs. My water broke again, but as this was in the UK, I didn't have to be induced and labor started on it's own after about 15 hours. Still took about 28 hours start to finish and we did have to transfer Miss Smith (and myself) to the hospital for possible meconium aspiration. The midwives were calm throughout and the ambulance arrived within minutes even though we lived in a very rural area. No tearing, no stitches. I'll say it again, midwives rock. Also, I got a wicked uterine infection from my 2-day stay at the hospital, which I probably wouldn't have gotten if we had stayed at home.

So, I've done the hospital, highly-medicated birth and a home birth. I would happily do home birth again, but it was the midwives who made it all OK no matter where I was. Home birth with midwives in attendance worked best for me.

Hopefully, I've established my bona fides enough to say with the utmost respect... EVERY MOTHER SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO GO THROUGH CHILDBIRTH IN A WAY THAT WORKS FOR THEM. SOMETIMES SHIT HAPPENS BUT MOSTLY, CHILDBIRTH IS A POSITIVE EXPERIENCE FOR MOTHER AND BABY. IF YOU HAVEN'T HAD A BABY, DON'T JUDGE AND DON'T ASSUME.

Sorry for getting so shouty, but really, some of you people need to shut up about something you know nothing about. Dr. Pisaster, I highly respect your attempts at statistical rigor, but remember, it's better to stay away from quantitative data when you are expressing qualitative opinions, especially around this crowd.

If I hadn't had my first kid in the hospital, one of us might have died, because he was stuck and I had an emergency c. Can I just tell you the relief I felt when they turned the epidural on again? Cuz they shut it off for the (useless) pushing (holy shit, THE PAIN!). Don't know what might have happened if I'd been at home. But I didn't really want to do it that way, because I was seriously afraid of the pain and wanted that epidural handy. I didn't go for it right away, but hot damn if I wasn't begging for it like a junkie when it got to be too much. I decided to NEVER go thru that again, and had the second c-section scheduled way before my due date. (That one was a good story too - I'd had the surgery, baby out safely, they started counting back all the equipment and tools, and they couldn't find a needle, but they'd already closed up, so they had to x-ray my (literally) numb ass to find it. They'd just counted wrong, and all was well. But it certainly makes for an interesting story, hey.)

On the flip side, I have a friend with 12 children, all but two were born at home, and she never had to rush to the hospital with complications. I worried each time, but it all worked out well. So I have no opinion one way or the other, my decisions boiled down to epidural-access, and fear. I'd say "cowardice", but having children is not for the cowardly.

I haven't read all of the comments, but I'd just like to say that I avoided dickish doctor behaviors by choosing an ob-gyn that WOULD BE AT THE BIRTH and THAT I LIKED. If at any point during the nine months I was seeing my doctor she had been dismissive or rude to me? I would have gotten another doctor. Also, while I was in the hospital I did not let anyone treat me like dirt. One nurse gave me attitude and the next person that came into my room was told in no uncertain terms that "that bitch that was just in here is not allowed in here again". I had a new nurse for a couple of hours and then the bitchy nurse apologized to me. Home birth, hospital birth, it is YOUR BIRTH EXPERIENCE. Take charge of it.

When my sister-in-law gave birth, her doctor and nurses were terrible. But I was there and I advocated for her. I helped her push, I told her more about what was happening then her doctor or nurses did. I had people getting things for her and I made her comfortable. Have an advocate present, whether it be husband or partner or whoever, and make sure that you are heard.

/END RANT

"IF YOU HAVEN'T HAD A BABY, DON'T JUDGE AND DON'T ASSUME."

Fuck that noise. If you choose to undertake a greater risk of your own death and the death or grave disabling of your child then I certainly don't need to have squeezed anything out of my nether bits before I judge you as taking a risk. And I'm assuming you're not magically immune to complications, so there's that too.

Pinky,

I wanna lay you down and do all the things you were always afraid to ask for. There's no shame here. Your rant has made me yours. Be gentle.

I don't have kids yet, but when I make the commitment to carry a pregnancy to term and have a child, I believe I owe that baby the safest entrance into the world as possible. I may sing a different tune when the time comes, who knows, but I do think it's selfish for a person to prioritize their own ego and comfort above safety in childbirth situations. I couldn't live with myself if I lost a baby during labor because I decided having a candle-lit water birth in my livingroom with Enya playing softly in the background was more important than having instant access to emergency medical help. Being a mother means getting the fuck over yourself and realizing that it's not just about you anymore, and childbirth is a pretty good time to put that understanding into action.

Well, now we're just picking and choosing inane things to be confrontational about, aren't we? Stating that a woman take charge of her birth experience does not exclude the husband or partner from that experience. I discussed all things labor and delivery with my husband since we were the ones having a child. He backed me on everything and was there if I needed anything. That being said, he didn't give birth and my daughter doesn't remember being born, but let's go ahead and split hairs here.

"...if I lost a baby during labor because I decided having a candle-lit water birth in my livingroom with Enya playing softly in the background was more important than having instant access to emergency medical help." -Dingles

"If you choose to undertake a greater risk of your own death and the death or grave disabling of your child then I certainly don't need to have squeezed anything out of my nether bits before I judge you as taking a risk." -Ender

Just to be clear here, Dingles why are you assuming that home births always involve candles, pools and Enya, and even worse, how this would be selfish of a mother because she makes a birth plan that is suitable, appropriate and agreed to with her midwife or Dr. and her spouse/partner? Planned home births (and birthing center births) are only allowed in low-risk pregnancies and everybody involved is aware and informed. Statistically, home birth's have better outcomes for mother and baby because of this.

My first birth was planned to be at a birthing center, but my husband, myself and my midwife made the decision to transfer to the hospital, with careful consideration. I don't regret that decision even though we had to abandon our birth plan and I had to set aside my personal fear and hatred of hospitals and put myself in a very stressful and uncomfortable situation which is not conducive to good outcomes for mother or baby.

And Ender, both myself and my first born were under greater risk of complications in the hospital because I was pumped full of pitocin to start contractions; I was freaked out about all the attachments, IVs, fetal monitors, blood pressure cuff and machines that go PING and I wasn't progressing beyond 3cm dilated, which put Smith Jr under great stress. The anesthesiologist couldn't hit my spinal column in the right place for the epidural, which completely numbed me from chest to waist (oops) and then I had to wait 45 minutes for her to come back and try again. Fast access to medical intervention does not equate to a safe outcome. It was in the hospital that I got a uterine infection, not at home. So no, you are not allowed to judge me or anyone else who makes a decision you wouldn't chose for yourself but you might want to be a little better informed before you do.

I am amazed at the misinformation and the assumptions a lot of you guys are making here.

samantha t you are aware that fetal monitors come in both external and internal versions? So yeah, when the OB on call wanted to insert a spiral wire into my hoo ha and twist it into Smith Jr's head to keep tabs on him, I was, to put it mildly, a little freaked out. I wouldn't let them do it, by the way. Ooooo, selfish me.

He was stressed because I was having massive contractions thanks to the pitocin but wasn't dilating since all female mammals will instinctively hold back from giving birth until they feel their newborn will be safe in the environment. Thanks to the snarky nurses and large table of shiny surgical instruments at my side, safe, I did not feel.

I was trying to spare everyone the intimate details, but I'll be happy to provide more info for anyone with questions.

Cuddles,
Mrs Smith

It seems the obvious answer is just to have respect for each other's choices and leave it alone. Years back the argument was that mothers who chose epidurals were selfish and didn't make their child's health the most important factor. Just to be clear - I do not think that. Somehow now those of us who choose nonhospital births are selfish and don't take into consideration our children's safety. Now come on. Do you really think that? Do you really think that we didn't do the research and talk it over with our partners and medical professionals before we made a decision as important as where we'd bear our children? At the end of the day, I am grateful that hospitals are there to take care of birthing complications and I am grateful that birthing centers are there to facilitate natural births.

"And Ender, both myself and my first born were under greater risk of complications in the hospital because I was pumped full of pitocin to start contractions;"

Yes, and a lower chance of suffering a grave incident from those complication because you were in a hospital.

"Fast access to medical intervention does not equate to a safe outcome. It was in the hospital that I got a uterine infection, not at home. So no, you are not allowed to judge me or anyone else who makes a decision you wouldn't chose for yourself but you might want to be a little better informed before you do."

Of course I can. I'm judging you right now. And I'm plenty well informed, what exactly in your comment did you think was new to me?
Fast access to medical intervention does not equate to a safe outcome but it equates to a safer outcome than slow access to medical intervention

You choose to risk yourself and your child's lives at home for your own reasons. If you're going to do it stand by it. Just say "I don't care about the risks". Don't try and make out like hospitals are worse for your health. There is a reason countries with good medical care have better outcomes than countries without.

So late to this, likely no one will read it, but I feel compelled to post. Home births and hospitalized births each have their advantages and disadvantages, but throwing around hand-picked statistics, anecdotes, and biased blame tactics kills validity to both arguments. Shit can happen anywhere. No, home birthing does not have a free and clear 100% survival rate. But point out a hospital that does.

Granted, the mortality rate of home birthed neonates in higher than that of hospital birthed neonates, but the mortality rate of mothers is lower in home births. If you ramp it up and check the post-cesarean death rates of mothers as opposed to post-vaginal birth death rates, the statistics are frightening. Of course, this isn’t an attempt to turn this into a “mother or baby, selfish or saint” situation, it is just a broader perspective. All of the numbers are going to be somewhat skewed. Only a very small percentage of mothers have their children at home, and if you break down the mortality/injury percentages of midwives and CNMs (I’m talking licensed, experienced professionals, generally with hospital rights and overseeing OBs, not wingbat, rebel, kiddie pool birthers), they are slightly better than those of hospital based OBs (.49 deaths per 1000 births vs .9 deaths per 1000 births). Now is this because CNMs work with significantly smaller sample sizes, or because they are legitimately better at what they do? OR is it because the vast majority of mothers even eligible for home births (in responsible cases) are near zero risk and their likelihood for a better outcome is, well, better. Maybe those CNMs that work strictly in birthing centers with on-call OBs and refrain from home births are skewing the data. You can rock it in any direction you’re biased in.

Not to mention that “natural” birth is not synonymous with “home” birth. Women who want to go without pain killers (not for bragging rights as some have foolishly stated, but usually to avoid many of the nasty side effects that go along with some of the common drugs associated with hospital birth) have many options, from birthing centers to just finding a compatible OB who is willing to aid their patient in this endeavor (this isn’t easy though). So if there is going to be break down of stats, you have to know exactly what you’re looking at.

What it comes down to is research. It is up to the parents to weigh their options and risks and determine what they feel is the safest, healthiest, most stress-free situation for themselves and for their child. For some, the hospital is the bastion of clean, germless, safety, and the only plausible option for their child's entrance into the world. For others, the idea of hospital interventions that may lead to stress (Pitocin is a leading fetal stressor due to the enormous strength of the contractions that it induces, which can compress umbilical cords, and slow fetal heart rates, not to mention the possible allergic reactions), the risk of major, and sometimes unnecessary surgery and a rushed labor experience for both mother and child guide them in the direction of drug-less or even home birth. The labor itself is going to be difficult enough. It is up to the mother to decide where she will be more comfortable and feel more safe with her child.

Of course women who are high risk, breech, diabetic, etc., should be in a hospital. That’s what hospitals are for. The complications. However, not every birth is complicated, and maybe every birth shouldn’t be treated as such. And of course women who choose to labor at home or in a birthing center should be monitored by licensed, experienced professionals with hospital rights at a nearby, easily accessibly labor and delivery unit (who have also been interviewed and thoroughly researched). The argument here isn't about that. Or at least it shouldn't be. One mother doesn't care less or more about her child because of her birth plan. Any mother who even has a birth plan likely did her research on the matter and chose the option that she felt was best for BOTH her safety and that of her incoming child. It’s offensive and even a little ignorant for individuals on either side of the fence to accuse mothers of selfishness for such choices.

Risks are everywhere, and any pregnant woman at any given time, in any given situation, in any given location may have to face them. All anyone is doing is trying for the best.

And just to note since I'm already at wall-of-text threshold, I do not have children, nor do I plan on having any in the biological fashion. I do, however, have enormous respect, as should everyone in my opinion, for women who donate their vessels to growing other people. And whatever option they chose to expel that little alien parasite, is exactly that. An option. I’ll leave them to it.