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Male Sex Buyers and Their Disturbing Attitudes about the Rights of Prostitutes

By Dr. Pisaster | Posted Under Pajiba Dirty Talk | Comments (37)



pretty-woman-julia-roberts-blonde.jpg

A couple of weeks ago Newsweek published a story on prostitution based on a study on the attitudes of men who buy sex. The study was conducted by a clinical psychologist named Melissa Farley who is, frankly, anti-sex work in any form. Newsweek describes her as someone who sees prostitution as, “inherently harmful,” and something that should be abolished completely. For many women prostitution is not a really a choice so much as a desperate response to unfortunate circumstances, and it can indeed be very harmful, but not all sex workers are forced into their position and treating all forms of sex work as wrong denies the agency of many women, some of whom do choose sex work because they enjoy it. While her attitudes do come from a position of concern for victimized women, Farley’s views are somewhat extreme and they show in the design of the study in ways that, I think, hamper its impact.

The study relied on interviews of approximately 100 Boston men who admitted to purchasing a sex act from a prostitute, escort, or massage parlor worker, or to trading something of value for a sex act. The men were interviewed about their attitudes toward sex workers and women in general. The study also included a control group of 100 men who were defined as non-sex buyers. It’s in the definition of this group that the underlying bias of the researchers is most obvious. Men were considered non-sex buyers if they had not exchanged goods or money for a sex act. But they were also required to not have purchased phone sex, not been to a strip club more than once in the past year, not purchased a lap dance (presumably ever, though it’s not clear from the paper), and not viewed pornography more than once in the past week. Not surprisingly, the researchers had difficulty finding men who fell under this category, and in fact the definition had to be relaxed somewhat to find even 100 men (the authors don’t mention what the original definition was, but they do state that they assumed it wouldn’t be that hard to find men who watched porn infrequently, so it would seem that porn use was at least initially considered to be a form of buying sex).

I know plenty of men who aren’t that into strip clubs and wouldn’t ever think to buy phone sex in this day and age, but I know very few who watch pornography less than once a week. Hell, I know plenty of women who watch more than that. And defining regular use of pornography as purchasing sex when there are so many free sites (many of them featuring people who aren’t getting paid to have sex on camera) and numerous torrent programs for downloading things that you haven’t necessarily paid for is a little misleading. Most of the men I know don’t actually purchase the porn they watch. Sure, they probably would spend at least a little if they couldn’t get it for free, but it’s not so straightforward to say that watching porn is a form of purchasing sex, and the majority of people, as well as society in general, don’t judge porn consumption as being on the same level as paying prostitutes.

The men were between the ages of 20 and 75 (mean 41). The two groups were both composed of men with a broad range of education and income. There did not appear to be any correlation between education and sex purchasing, but the largest group of men who purchased sex had incomes between 20,000 and 40,000. The men did, however, differ in their views about women and while I think the study design is flawed the results are still interesting. Men in the sex-buyer category were more likely than those in the non-buyer category to consider prostitution consensual sex (62% vs 37%). Disturbingly, a good portion of the men who purchased sex believed that the women they were sleeping with did not actively choose prostitution but were forced into it by circumstances or chose it as a result of a history of abuse and violence, but they didn’t let that stop them from exploiting these women. 66% of buyers acknowledged that they believed the women were, “lured, tricked, or trafficked,” into prostituion. A large number of men - 37% of buyers and 21% of non - believed that prostitutes were obligated to do whatever the customer wanted once they’d been paid. That’s a deeply disturbing attitude about the humanity and rights of prostitutes and the numbers are large enough to be unsettling. Both sex buyer and non-sex buyers (despite their infrequent use) indicated in large numbers that they used pornography to learn about sex (74% and 54% respectively). That’s not great news, since most pornographic sex is not safe sex nor is it designed to be physically pleasurable for the actors. Porn sex is meant to look good, not feel good. Sex buyers in general had self-serving attitudes towards women in prostitution. They tended to believe that prostitution had no adverse psychological effects on women and to believe that the women were enjoying the sex. They also were more likely to believe that prostitutes were “different,” than other women, and as being, “ethically or morally deficient,” beliefs that they no doubt used to justify their behavior to these women.

The men interviewed for these study who purchased sex did not have healthy attitudes toward sexuality or women, which will probably not be a surprise to most of you. The Newsweek article is spinning this to make it look like the majority of men are in fact sex-buyers, but the inclusion of frequent pornography use makes this conclusion seem a little extreme. This study doesn’t actually imply that most men purchase sex - it doesn’t attempt to determine the percentage of men overall who purchase sex, just the attitudes of those who do - but the definition of non-sex buyer used is misleading and implies that most men do buy sex, at least on the level of porn. As sex industries go, pornography is actually one of the better regulated ones and one of the safest, and a good portion of the porn viewed today does not feature paid actors but rather amateurs who choose to share their sex lives with strangers for no monetary gain. Most reasonable people would agree that porn can be a healthy part of a normal sex life and while some might argue that the performers are being exploited, it’s not really up to us to decide that porn actors aren’t capable of making an informed choice about their line of work. In a perfect world, no one would be put in a position where they were forced into sex work or felt they had to engage in sex work to survive. But even in such a world, it’s likely that at least some women would choose such work anyway, because they genuinely enjoy it.

Dr. Pisaster has a doctorate in biophysics, not actually anything sexy. She does however enjoy having sex, reading about sex, and talking about sex. Especially when she’s had a little whiskey.









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Comments

I've taken to gobbling genitalia at bus depots to pay for my stupid cigarettes, but I by no means kiss on the mouth. Not ever. I might fall in love, that's why.

...

I'll let you pee on me for a week if you buy me a carton.

Posted by: Skitz at August 3, 2011 3:38 PM

Skitz, does it have to be for one calendar week or do I get a week worth of days spread out?

Posted by: John G. at August 3, 2011 3:48 PM

Men in the sex-buyer category were more likely than those in the non-buyer category to consider prostitution consensual sex (62% vs 37%). Disturbingly, a good portion of the men who purchased sex believed that the women they were sleeping with did not actively choose prostitution...

The cognitive dissonance is hurting my ears!

Hypothetical sex-buyer: "She doesn't really want to sleep with strange men for money, but she wants to sleep with me for money!"

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at August 3, 2011 3:58 PM

I'll buy you a carton if you pee on me.

Posted by: courtney at August 3, 2011 3:58 PM

The two major issues I have with that study and any statistics drawn from it are that the study sample is too small and they don't seem to define the sex-purchasers very well. So if a man hired an escort twenty years ago, but hasn't done anything of the like since, he still falls into the purchasing group? I don't think so.

That said, some of the (questionable) stats are a bit disturbing. Legalize it, regulate it and make it a true service industry.

Posted by: admin at August 3, 2011 3:59 PM

"Disturbingly, a good portion of the men who purchased sex believed that the women they were sleeping with did not actively choose prostitution but were forced into it by circumstances or chose it as a result of a history of abuse and violence, but they didn’t let that stop them from exploiting these women."

I have a real problem with this sentence. Unless the "circumstances" are that the woman (or man, men are prostitutes also - but I assume no people buying sex from men were included in the study) was kidnapped and sold into sex slavery, the sex purchaser is not exploiting the sex worker by purchasing sex.

And how is sex work (again, unless someone is forcing the woman into sex slavery) not consensual sex? I can understand that not knowing the woman's motivation for selling sex will open the sex purchaser to possibly being an unknowing exploiter, but there are people who want to have sex for money and do so willingly.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at August 3, 2011 4:01 PM

"trading something of value for a sex act."

"Hey Arlene! I'll trade you my weed whacker fer a blow job!"

"Gas or electric?"

"Electric"

"No way! Just a hand job for an electric. I hate them extension cords."

Posted by: logan at August 3, 2011 4:13 PM

I get the notion that the study, as Dr. P. suggests, says more about the researchers than anything else. I wonder to what extent "anti-sex work" can be conflated with "anti-sex."

Posted by: Jerry at August 3, 2011 4:30 PM

I'm not really surprised at the position sex buyers take with prostitutes. It sounds as if they think that buying a prostitute's time is akin to renting a car or a hotel room and they're free to do with it in a similar fashion. Nor am I surprised that pornography has influenced sexual acts at all.

I am surprised that they are labeling any guy who sees/watches porn as a "sex buyer." That speaks of a naivete of modern male sexual history. Any modern male has, by the time he hits legal sexual consent age, consumed a great deal of porn -- from Maxim to Naughty America.

Posted by: Fredo at August 3, 2011 4:36 PM

And how is sex work (again, unless someone is forcing the woman into sex slavery) not consensual sex? I can understand that not knowing the woman's motivation for selling sex will open the sex purchaser to possibly being an unknowing exploiter, but there are people who want to have sex for money and do so willingly.

If I'm a sugar daddy (i.e. pay a girl's cellphone and gas bill for consensual sex) does that make me a sex buyer?

Posted by: Fredo at August 3, 2011 4:38 PM

Yeah, cuz men are pigs and enlsave women to our desires.

What about watching Gene Simmons' woman on Skinemax? Am I buying sex since I paid for cable? If a porn star falls in the studio and there's no one to oppress her, does she still get paid? Fuck yeah.

Posted by: Protoguy at August 3, 2011 5:37 PM

It's also funny that, if you know anything about the modern sex industry, particularly the internet call girl thing, the girls treat it like renting a car or a hotel room just as much as their customers might.

Posted by: Protoguy at August 3, 2011 5:40 PM

Much like the war on some drugs, Americans cannot or are completely unwilling to have an honest conversation about sex. Hell, we can't even get sex education in our nation's schools.

If we were smart, we would turn prostitutes into state employees. Give them free medical checkups, set up the laws so that assaulting them is akin to doing the same to a cop, hell, even offer them education to give them the option to leave the lifestyle if they want. I am willing to be they they could set a price to completely offset any cost of the benefits.

Its similar to pornography, where when its been legalized, the rates of sex crimes go down. If we made it legal and safe, you would see a huge drop in STD's, crimes against women, and I am willing to bet, a slew of other social issues.

Posted by: diablo at August 3, 2011 6:00 PM

I agree that the "study" (from your description) is poorly constructed. And I went to the article and this kinda jumped out:

"The burgeoning demand has led to a dizzying proliferation of services so commonplace that many men don’t see erotic massages, strip clubs, or lap dances as forms of prostitution."

I think most people of either gender (in the western world, anyway) don't see strip clubs or porn or even lap dances as prostitution, either. I get that they're lumping all "sexually-oriented businesses" together as a way to seem comprehensive, or something, but it seems counterproductive to the supposed aim, since prostitution is actually illegal almost everywhere in the U.S., whereas most of the other stuff isn't (the exception, I guess, being the "erotic massage"). If you expect people to feel bad about purchasing (or viewing) a legally available product, I don't think you're gonna have a lot of luck there.

My understanding, and I think most other people's, is that if the transaction involves a person actually performing a sex act on another person (I guess the definition of "sex act" is debatable), that's prostitution. Stripping is just taking your clothes off. I guess those two are equivalent in the minds of the ever-vigilant defenders of women's honor, but it sorta makes the results of this "study" moot. Equating stripping with prostitution is like equating sending your kid to his room to punish him with sending a terrorist suspect to Gitmo and expecting parents to agree that they've violated the Geneva Conventions.

RE porn: the widespread use and idealization (or normalization or whatever you want to call it) of porn is not a good thing. Not necessarily because it's exploitative (though I think it usually is, not that the consumers of it give a fuck), but because watching porn to learn about sex is like watching "Armageddon" to learn about space travel.

Posted by: Slash at August 3, 2011 6:31 PM

Three-nineteen, just to be clear, I'm not saying that paying someone for sex is necessarily always exploitative, I'm saying that paying someone for sex when you believe they are in the sex-selling business out of desperation or because they were coerced into it is exploitative. It's the fact that these men would still purchase the services of a woman they believe to be less than fully willing that's disturbing. If you doubt that these men really believe that then I'd suggest looking at the study itself. The second hyperlink is to a site where you can download it. Some of the things these men say about prostitutes are pretty horrifying. Like, for example, "She didn't want to do it, she didn't know what she was doing...she was young, she was naive. You KNOW she didn't want to be doing what she was doing."

Posted by: dr. pisaster at August 3, 2011 7:24 PM

So, the design was bad and based on induction (predicated on the beliefs that sex work is personally and socially harmful)-- that produced poor social science (common). The study does not appear to be able to distinguish between porn consumers and consumers of live sex acts, but your problem is that these are different and the porn consumers have a different view of sex workers than 'actual' sex buyers? This is an empirical claim. Please get with your "reasonable people" about the attitudes of men who are porn consumers (but do not engage in those 'sex-buying' behaviors).
Otherwise, this is tattle. You don't like the results.

Posted by: hattie at August 3, 2011 7:39 PM

If we were smart, we would turn prostitutes into state employees

No way you're being serious. This is the sort of dense, delusional, hyper-liberal nonsense that no-one actually believes, but they're quite willing to blather about while stoned out of their minds or anonymously clattering away on the internet.

Yes. Let's transform these women into state-mandated sex workers. Great idea.

Posted by: superasente at August 3, 2011 7:47 PM

Yeah, I was gonna ridicule the "make prostitutes government employees" idea too, but it seemed to easy. Plus I'm kinda busy at work, didn't have time after my other comment.

Posted by: Slash at August 3, 2011 8:04 PM

Slash and Supersannte, besides typical knee-jerk anti-government, reactionary libertarianism, why would making them state workers be bad?

Posted by: John G. at August 3, 2011 8:50 PM

What I'm annoyed with in this post is the defending of porn ("it's not paying for sex!" blah, blah, blah) than how sex workers are viewed and treated in society. If y'all do even a little research into sex trafficking and prostitution, y'all will find that in a majority of cases it's not these women that are benefiting or profiting off their work.

There is a valid debate on whether view porn is paying for sex or not and if those who think opposing porn is pro or anti-sex, but that seems to be a subject variable to this research, not the main point.

Posted by: debbye at August 3, 2011 9:01 PM

So, the next time a woman asks me to go to a private room for $100, if I say "No, because I refuse to exploit you", should I expect a heartfelt "Thank you!" ?

Posted by: Pat C. at August 3, 2011 9:13 PM

Am I "trading something of value for a sex act" if I am presenting an engagement ring? A string of pearls for Christmas? A diamond bracelet on an anniversary?
Is this not also "sex-buying" behavior?

Posted by: Dr. Pinot at August 3, 2011 9:19 PM

I take it you watch a lot of Bill Maher Dr. Pinot?

If you are getting married to or dating someone purely for the sex I'd suggest not doing either. If you are manipulating the actual emotions of another human being just so you can have sex, it's even worse. (Please note: This is a generic second person. I'm not necessarily trying to single you out with these statements. This next one however...)

I'm assuming you aren't married, but if you are I really hope your wife/husband doesn't find out that you just equated them to a prostitute.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at August 3, 2011 9:42 PM

Aren't there a lot of male prostitutes? Is there any interest in determining what are the general attitudes of their customers?

Posted by: Pat C. at August 3, 2011 9:53 PM

some of whom do choose sex work because they enjoy it. wtf???

Posted by: Diviya at August 4, 2011 12:20 AM

the state cannot regulate sex, because of religious prejudices (2000 years is a lot of time), if sex becomes another service how will we see marriage, and even dating? what will we romaticize and know what to call "normal" and "right" and "moral"? we will all be contaminated by the evils of pleasure and freedom. there'll be no purity in pat c's union with his/her husband/wife!

everything we have assumed about sex forever will be put to test when it turns to another daily task like eating or sleeping, people might have to actually come out of their comfort zone and REALLY be aware of deep shit like the purpose of life and love (what do you REALLY want from someone else and what are desires) and nobody wants that.

the story goes on: we would be overwhelmed by philosophical questions, we woud give up sex for a while, then we would get interested but god knows what we'll enjoy then (probably something more sophisticated) and... another phase of spiritual evolution would take place? (religion makes the spirit stale) it'd turn out fine, but truth is no one wants to find out.

Posted by: black_temptress at August 4, 2011 12:25 AM

Sorry, but it's true. Some women choose sex work because they enjoy it. That might not be a healthy attitude, but its a fact and ignoring it is, well, ignorance.

Posted by: Protoguy at August 4, 2011 4:56 AM

Prostitution is legal in my country. This means registered sex workers have health insurance, mandatory weekly STD checks and recourse to police and legal measures if they are threatened or mistreated. Violent clients are publicly prosecuted and jailed. Prostitutes also pay taxes.
But we're having huge problems with sexual trafficking now - Eastern European, Asian or African girls who are brought here illegally or under false pretenses and do not require their clients to use condoms. And yes, some of my tax Euros go towards institutions seeking to find and help these girls. And yes, I'm quite ok with that.
Legalizing prostitution protects the sex workers as well as the (non-violent) clients. It's common sense and good for the economy - ie a very American stance.

Posted by: cinekat at August 4, 2011 5:24 AM

There are two types of guys, one type of guy is married but pays for sex because he wants a little on the side, and believe it or not he’s more likely to stay married. And the other type of guy is still holding out hope that his wife will come home in a good mood for once and put out, more than likely this type of guy’s wife withholds sex as a way of trying to control her husband. And it’s only a matter of time before this guy starts paying for sex. I can almost guarantee that the guy that pays for sex is more affectionate to his wife than the guy that doesn’t pay for sex because more than likely the guy with the wife that doesn’t put out makes unreasonable demands on the guy. And this guy will go out to pay for sex not because he wants sex, but he does it to spite his wife.

Now with single guys that pay for sex, they pay for sex because they don’t have girlfriends or they just don’t want to put up with all the bullshit that goes along with a relationship.

Posted by: Pookie at August 4, 2011 7:21 AM

I read the first two sentences in the above post and knew right away it was Pookie.

You are either conning the shit out of us or you are a raging misogynist who never gets laid and needs therapy.

Are you talking about the wife who comes home from her 40 hour a week job, makes dinner, cleans the house, tends to the kids, feeds the dog and is still supposed to welcome her husband home with her legs spread? Perhaps she is tired and maybe a little resentful that her husband considers an act of love "putting out". Shame on her for not worshipping at the altar of the penis.

Since we are generalizing, here's one

Men want food and sex, women want security and love.
Woman are happy to supply the basics when they get their needs met in return.

That's a life lesson for ya.

Posted by: kirbyjay at August 4, 2011 8:16 AM

If there were a classy male brothel in town I'd probably try it once, just to see what it's like.
Then again (and I know I'll probably get slammed for this) I find if you're looking only for no-strings-attached-sex, it's a lot easier for girls to find a one night stand in some bar or club than guys.
Is there a difference (emotionally or sensitory or whatever) between engaging in a one-nighter and actually hiring a prostitute? And don't waste my time with "I had to buy her dinner and 6 drinks before she'd put out", I'm talking about how it feels and not how much it costs.

Posted by: cinekat at August 4, 2011 8:57 AM

superasente I am not sure what exactly that I said warrented you commenting so strongly about me. I was raised Roman Catholic and utter than trying to quit smoking, I have few vices. I don't even drink alcohol anymore. I suspect that I would rank as extremely conservative on most matters compared to the "norm" of the commentors on this site.

But what I have experienced is living in quite a few communities in this nation that are some of the poorest areas during my service with the military. I also grew up in Baltimore City, which with its "controversial" needles exchange program, heavily affects my opinions about drugs and sex in regards to social policies. The needles exchange program is a huge success for our city in the simple fact that it has dropped the insane rate that hep C and HIV was spreading in our community. Whether or not you agree with heroin usage (I hope to God everyone agrees with me that it is a horrific thing to do), we have to limit its affect on the community in any realistic fashion possible.

I am a realist. Whether we want to admit it or not, prostitution will always exists, much like intravenious drug abuse. As a society, we can either continue to exist under the assumption that as long as we make the punishments more and more severe and it will magically go away, or we can actual analyze the problem and attempt to address the most severe risks involved.

As indicated by this study and a few of the comments, most people seem to think that prostitution is only a female problem. Its not. The social stigma invovled in it results in prostitutes (both male and female) with few if any social protections. This is why they are such common targets of criminals.

I'm not saying the state should force anyone into the lifestyle at all. What I believe we should do is to eliminate as many risks as possible and provide chances for those individuals to leave the lifestyle if they chose to.

Posted by: diablo at August 4, 2011 9:52 AM

There's a big difference between decriminalizing prostitution and turning hookers into state employees.

Seeing how many states (or most states, really) are laying people off AND cutting services, you're not gonna get a lot of support for using taxpayer money so men can get their dick sucked regularly, regardless of how people feel about prostitution in general. It isn't a religion thing, it's a "I don't want my tax dollars going to help prop up the sex-for-hire business" thing.

I think the best way to help "sex workers" is give them a better alternative than sex work. I'm guessing most people in the business (the people who actually do the fucking and sucking, not the people they work for) don't really wanna be in it. I suspect the percentage of people who do it because they enjoy it is extremely small, like under 10%. Prostitution and porn are not "sex positive." That shit is PR those industries use to try to deflect away from the repellent working conditions. And also the fact that many people who work in these industries are drug addicts. They're not doing what they do because they love it, they do it because it's the quickest, easiest way to get enough money to feed their habit. And the people who run the industries are more than happy for that to continue. Both porn and prostitution are industries that depend on exploitation of several kinds. Which I don't think is something that government should encourage or subsidize.

So the "let's make prostitutes govt. employees" idea was dumb.

Posted by: Slash at August 4, 2011 12:24 PM

Ah...but Slash, unlike other state employees, prostitutes would generate income...a considerable amount of income. They could realistically charge more as they could be medical cleared and offer services without the risk of arrest.

So what alternative are you offering for sex workers? Lets look at the typical background of them. They are at the bottom of society, few if any marketable skills, they most likely have criminal records, most likely are addicts or at least have an arrest record involving drugs...

Who is exactly lining up to hirer college graduates, let alone ex-sex workers will zero skills and potential lengthy criminal records? By your own logic, you admit that its pretty much a shitty lifestle. If there were alternatives, they would do it already.

You don't want government employment for sex workers...yet you expect them to get education/training and jobs in this economy?!? Who is going to pay that?

Posted by: Diablo at August 4, 2011 2:33 PM

The most alarming thing about this is that people
are developing their attitudes towards sex from
porn. This is a case of the tail wagging the
dog. Due to the huge amount of consumption
porn vs. the amount of production, it gives
porn and it's industry way too much power.

Especially since the women all seem to exist
in a vacuum where, like the way we look at sex
workers, they are not real, whole people.

When we see human beings as ciphers who fufill our
expectations and desires, rather than flawed but
complex human beings, it makes them easier to ignore or abuse.

Posted by: Haystacks at August 7, 2011 1:40 AM

While yeah ok the views exposed by the study are shocking, the fact that the study is performed by someone who's adamantly anti-sex industry kind of invalidates any credibility in the claims though.

I mean I believe the results of this about as much as I believe the results of a study conducted by BP Oil into the sustainability of alternate energy sources.

Posted by: Ben at August 12, 2011 1:56 AM

Just because the scientist has an opinion doesn't mean she's biased. While I take Dr. Pisaster's concern about the way "sex-consumers" are defined by the study, she doesn't so much prove or defend her position -- that consumers of porn aren't "of a kind" with consumers of prostitutes -- so much as toss it toward a friendly audience. There also seem to be any number of undefended empirical claims.

Maybe well-defended claims isn't what this is supposed to be about. Maybe it's just supposed to be provocative. That's okay, I suppose. It's just not my cup of tea.

Posted by: Suspicious all around at August 16, 2011 11:56 PM