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Batting for Both Teams: What's the Deal with Bisexuals, Right?

By Dr. Pisaster | Posted Under Pajiba Dirty Talk | Comments (40)



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You’ve probably heard the old canard that there is no such thing as bisexual men, only gay men who haven’t stepped fully out of the closet. Of course some men do use bisexuality as a way to ease themselves into full acceptance of their own homosexuality, and a much publicized 2005 study seemed to verify this view of male bisexuality as largely a convenient way for gay men to gain some social acceptability. In that study, self-identified heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual men were shown erotic videos depicting both male and female homosexuality. Homosexual and heterosexual men reported arousal and showed physiological signs of said arousal when viewing videos of the sex they claimed they were attracted to. Bisexual men, on the other hand, reported arousal when viewing videos of both sexes but only showed genital arousal in response to one sex, with the majority of those claiming to be bisexual being primarily physically aroused by images of men. A newer study just published in Biological Psychology, however, demonstrates that this result was influenced by sample selection, and that there are in fact men who are aroused by both sexes. That finding must come as some relief to all the bisexual men out there who were probably getting tired of being told that they don’t actually exist.

One of the reasons it has been so hard for scientists to identify truly bisexual men is that they have often recruited predominantly from the gay community for studies of male bisexuality. These studies have also mostly relied on self-identification as bisexual, as opposed to a history of sexual encounters with both sexes. And of course there is the simple fact that while our society is pretty cool with bisexual women (you can watch her make out with chicks and still have a chance to put your cock in her later!), and there is at least a community in which homosexual men can find support and others like them, bisexuality in men is often looked down on by both sides of the homo/hetero aisle. This cultural attitude makes in more likely that many bisexual men will suppress one side of their sexuality to fit in with society and such men will not exactly be eager to come forward for scientific studies on their sexual preferences.

In the more recent study recruited men from the Chicago area over the internet. The key to sample selection in this case is how the men were recruited using the internet. In this case they did not answer advertisements put out by the researchers, but instead were approached by the researchers based on personal ads they themselves had posted. Bisexual men in particular were chosen from ads in which they expressed a desire to have sex with both members of a heterosexual couple. They were also required to have had at least two past sexual partners of each sex and to have been involved in a romantic relationship of at least 3 months in the past with at least one person of each sex. Criteria for hetero and homosexual men were similar, except limited to one sex. This resulted in a sample of 35 bisexual men, 31 homosexual men, and 34 heterosexual men. A small sample size, but if the point is to prove that bisexual men exist then you don’t need to demonstrate that they are also prevalent, although it would be interesting to see how common bisexuality actually is. The mean age of the men was 35 and the sample included men from a diverse range of ethnicities.

As in the earlier study, the men were shown erotic videos of both men and women as well as sexually neutral videos. They were asked about their subjective arousal in response to the videos and also had the circumference of their penises measured while watching the video to determine genital arousal (using a MP100 data acquisition unit from BIOPAC systems, in case you’re in the market for a genital-arousal measurement device). The men’s sexuality was also determined using the Kinsey scale, in which complete heterosexuality is 0 and complete homosexuality is 6. The results of both the subjective and objective arousal patterns were compared to this score. The bisexual men scored an average of 3.1 (standard deviation 0.94) on this scale, whereas the heterosexual men scored an average of 0.34 (s.d. 0.45) and homosexual men scored an average of 5.67(s.d. 0.43). The researchers found that while even bisexual men tended to have a preference for one sex over the other, they were still aroused (by both measures) by the sex that they liked less, whereas heterosexual and homosexual men were only aroused by one sex.

The definition of “bisexual,” used in this study is extremely rigorous, given that it required the subjects to not only identify themselves as bisexual but to have had substantial life experience of bisexuality. The selection criteria meant that the majority of the men selected to represent bisexuals fell very close to the middle of the Kinsey scale. It’s possible that while some of the men in the earlier studies considered themselves bisexual, they did not in fact have enough experience with both sexes to respond favorably to the stimuli they were presented with. It’s also possible that some of them fell somewhere closer to the edges of the Kinsey scale and their preference for one sex over the other was strong enough to be difficult to distinguish from hetero or homosexuals, even though their attraction to both sexes was real. This research shows that it is indeed possible for some men to be aroused by members of both sexes, but it doesn’t mean that only people who have actually had sex with both men and women or who like both equally should consider themselves bisexual. The label is a personal one that for some indicates a true attraction to both sexes, for others a stretching of the truth that makes them more socially acceptable, and for still others is a way to express an openness to sexual experiences that they may not have already engaged in. In other words, the specifics vary and anyone who claims to be bisexual should be taken at their word.

Dr. Pisaster has a doctorate in biophysics, not actually anything sexy. She does however enjoy having sex, reading about sex, and talking about sex. Especially when she’s had a little whiskey.









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Comments

"That finding must come as some relief to all the bisexual men out there who were probably getting tired of being told that they don’t actually exist."

Word.

Posted by: Sara H at September 1, 2011 11:43 AM

Great article, but even greater poster at the top.

Posted by: Adrienne Saia at September 1, 2011 11:45 AM

And of course there is the simple fact that while our society is pretty cool with bisexual women (you can watch her make out with chicks and still have a chance to put your cock in her later!)

Groundbreaking insight!

Posted by: Todd at September 1, 2011 11:49 AM

Just curious - would the fact that arousal is measured while watching videos have an impact, rather than examples in the flesh?

I'm a woman, so wouldn't count on this study anyway, but when watching erotic videos have only ever been aroused by watching women. However, I've never been attracted to a woman in real life.

Posted by: Bumwee McGee at September 1, 2011 11:57 AM

I Exist!

Posted by: John G. at September 1, 2011 12:03 PM

ugh, bis are just gross.

Posted by: gp at September 1, 2011 12:17 PM

Ugh, bigots are just gross.

Also, glad to hear I exist, too! Not that it's very relevant; I'm very happy being monogamous with my girlfriend. :)

Posted by: gatesong at September 1, 2011 12:23 PM

Bisexuality is by no means "more acceptable" for women. Try being a bisexual woman attempting to date other woman. It's a nightmare and everyone assumes you're doing it for attention.

It's even worse if you mention it to men. They assume you're doing it to titillate them, and that the right penis will wipe the lady lover right out of you.

Posted by: Alex at September 1, 2011 12:34 PM

using a MP100 data acquisition unit from BIOPAC systems, in case you’re in the market for a genital-arousal measurement device

How does one go about becoming a research assistant?

Posted by: Corvus at September 1, 2011 12:42 PM

Does that mean you don't love me anymore, gp? Also, glad to know I exist, really clears up that whole existential funk I had going on.

Posted by: TheMaskedEmu at September 1, 2011 12:44 PM

gatesong- gp speaks in jest, I promise you. (Sorry to ruin your facetious fun, geep.;)

Yeah I don't think being a bi lady is all that much easier, BUT yes, our existence is more commonly acknowledged, at least.

Posted by: Sara H at September 1, 2011 12:48 PM

Oh! Sorry, gp; it's notoriously hard to tell tone of voice on the Internet.

Friends?

Posted by: gatesong at September 1, 2011 12:51 PM

I *DO* LOVE YOU, EMU!!

and gatesong too.
if he would just lie still long enough for me to finish.

also, sara h.
BUT IN A TOTALLY CHRISTIAN WAY.

Posted by: gp at September 1, 2011 12:51 PM

My sister, who is bi, recently related this head slapping exchange she had with a friend:

Friend: So, Sister, now that you are married to a man, you're totally straight now, right?

Sister: ................NO.

Posted by: linny at September 1, 2011 12:54 PM

i was just trolling for comment-counts.
gotta keep that rowles kid in apple juice.

this was all scientifically laid out and all, but THE REAL TEST: sitting in a porno theater and noticing Most All the guys in the room only start whacking when there's an actual penis on screen.

Posted by: gp at September 1, 2011 12:54 PM

This is bullshit. Trying to determine if someone is "really" homosexual, bissexual or heterossexual is stupid because these are not biological categories, these are social labels, determine by the actions of the person and not by some "real" predisposition. The person understands herself as one of these three labels only because they were taught to think of themselves that way.

The experiment of measuring one's penis while watching a movie is completely absurd, specially because it's a really weird situation which could go both ways (one could find the experiment arousing at one time, and at another time find it unconfortable enough not to be able to get hard).

A person is homossexual if she has sex with people of the same sex, heterossexual if she has sex with people of the other sex and bissexual if she has both. What goes on in one's mind has nothing to do with it, and is part of the logic of trying to "explain" it and trying to point it out as natural, in the best case, or a disease, in the worst. If we are to be tolerant towards the different, we need to leave those labellings behind. The "bissexual problem" shows how different people's sexualities are, and we should just give up on trying to create new labels and accept that people do whatever they do, are whatever they are.

Posted by: zito at September 1, 2011 12:59 PM

How's this for confusing? I'm a bisexual woman, who dated a bisexual man at one point. They do get aroused at the opposite sex no problem, but they also do like their men. Interesting study, and they do exist!

Posted by: J.O. at September 1, 2011 1:16 PM

gp,
you really could have stopped with "The real test is sitting in a porno theater" What kind of guys go to a public place to watch porn and whack off? With a bunch of other dudes? Cock aficionados, that's who. notthatheresanythingwrongwiththat.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 1, 2011 2:18 PM

Disclosure: I'm a straight dude, but one that's active in the fight for LGBTQ rights.

I've often thought that bisexual people get the rawest end of the deal... they get shite from both the gay AND straight communities. I find it especially galling when gay people tell them to "choose a side". If being gay isn't a choice, then being bi isn't either.

I love a quote I read from Anna Pulley (http://annapulley.com/)... she said a gay guy at a bar told her once that "bi people can't make up their minds". She replied: "I have no problem making up my mind... I've decided you're an asshole."

Posted by: Taliesin Govannon at September 1, 2011 2:35 PM

Er, yeah, I'm also quite sure it's no easier being a bisexual woman. I've had a "Ew! You sleep with men? That's disgusting." reaction from lesbians. And my sister has asked me when I'm going to make up my mind and if it's not confusing. *sigh*

Posted by: Joker at September 1, 2011 2:35 PM

I agree with zito, in that a person's actions make the clarification, not their mental yearnings. I am fiercely attracted to the lady types, specifically in media (film, TV, photoshopped madness that is print media), but have absolutely no desire to physically be with a woman sexually. I've kissed girls - lots of fun - but as far as downtown is concerned, I prefer the Skyscraper.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at September 1, 2011 3:23 PM

I'm sniffing...

Oh, yeah. I smelled THIS. From OVER A WEEK ago.

Posted by: Jerry at September 1, 2011 4:23 PM

My favorite comment on the study, from the blog "No Seriously, What About Teh Menz" (which is a feminist blog that doesn't ignore or bash men or masculinity).

"One of the most common biphobic narratives is that the penis is what counts. A woman who has sex with men is really straight, even if she also fucks women; a man who has sex with men is really gay, even if he also fucks women. If a man fucks a man, even once, he is forever corrupted from the heights of heterosexual masculinity."

Really, it's all about whether there's a penis inside you, regardless of whether or not your girlfriend's fist was there first.

Posted by: That Girl at September 1, 2011 4:33 PM

In other words, the specifics vary and anyone who claims to be bisexual should be taken at their word.

From your keystrokes to God's ears, I hope!

Ugh, seriously, I can't tell you how many facepalmy conversations I've had since deciding to get engaged that started with some variation of, "So, you've made your choice now, right?"

Actually, I can say exactly how many: 3. But they were all really annoying!

Posted by: Angeleno Ewok at September 1, 2011 5:05 PM

My husband and I have always just referred to me as "omnivorous" and left it at that. It perfectly describes my biological AND psychological sexual quirks, all in one word.

Then of course, after years of being comfy but discreet in my own identity, my 13 year old daughter tells me she's bisexual like it's the end of the world or something. You've never seen a more relieved kid when I said,"Really? Cool! Me too!" The only downside? She was forced to acknowledge that this would change the sleepover landscape a bit from our parenting perspective. Oh, and we live in a rural conservative Southern place, so bodily harm is also a possibility.

Posted by: Young_Grandma_Ben at September 1, 2011 5:29 PM

i met a bisexual woman once on fictionpress who said sshe was feeeling torn between her religious beliefs and her sexuallity i told her jesus said to love everone didnt and bisexuals have the power to give love to everybody. she liked that

Posted by: Utah Dynamo at September 1, 2011 5:49 PM

I agree with zito, in that a person's actions make the clarification, not their mental yearnings.

Please correct me if I'm misunderstanding this or zito's post... I'm not comfortable with the notion that sex/physical action is the, or the main determiner, of one's sexuality (and it is one that I've heard and read outside of these comments). I consider myself bi, but being fairly private and shy, I've only dated 3 people, all men -- and now am engaged to the third.

And it was weird, seeing our relationship build to the point of a foreseeable future together, how sometimes I would just find myself thinking: if we, as a monogamous couple, do marry, I won't ever have the chance to date a woman, much less have sex with her. And I'd be lying if I said that thought's perfectly, absolutely, 100% fine with me every single day, or that I haven't worried about not having somehow earned some sort of "bi cred"... but the relationship I have with my fiancé trumps all this.

I've also heard the argument, "But if you haven't tried it, how do you know if you actually like it?". But that's something most people wouldn't ask a straight, inexperienced kid with a crush.

None of this is to invalidate the point that you can have fantasies that don't actually jibe with what you want in reality... Eh, it's actually pretty much a roundabout way of agreeing that one should be allowed to define their own sexuality.

Posted by: jay at September 1, 2011 6:34 PM

Exactly jay, it is all about one defining oneself. I wouldn't call myself bi, because my desire for women is purely theoretical and for fantasy. But I don't have the right to define any and all sexualities.

As for the idea that you'll never get to be with a woman because of your current commitment... well, I think most (all) people experience a feeling during engagement (or other lifelong commitments) that "I'll never have anyone new again", regardless of gender or preference. I love my husband more than anything in this world, but of course sometimes I realize I'll never have another first kiss. It is a tiny bit of a bummer, especially when I fantasize about meeting David Tennant...

Mmmm...

Where was I? Oh yes, that feeling is extremely common IMHO, and I hope it doesn't plague you. I will resist the semi-obvious suggestion for a threesome, because I personally never recommend them, but it works for some people. Again, define your own boundaries.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at September 1, 2011 7:06 PM

@jay -- Yes. This describes my own situation exactly. When I was a kid, I was terrified of coming out as a bisexual. Now I'm irritated that everyone assumes I'm straight because I'm with a dude.

The mister has given me his blessing to sleep with a lady, if I feel like I need to have that life experience. And it's tempting, but ultimately I'm the monogamous sort.

Posted by: jess at September 1, 2011 7:11 PM

I remember my husband and I seeing a headline about this study and we were both surprised that there even needed to be one. What, a man can't be bi but a woman can? That made no sense to either of us.

Young_Grandma_Ben - your story made me smile. I wish your girl the best.

Posted by: Double R at September 1, 2011 7:28 PM

Young_Grandma_Ben, you are a sweetheart! I am so glad your daughter has you as a mom.

Posted by: Stinky at September 1, 2011 8:20 PM

Stinky, you should also be glad I have her as a daughter. She and her Dad are a joy beyond reckoning and I'm just trying to keep up with their awesome!

Posted by: Young_Grandma_Ben at September 1, 2011 9:16 PM

@Patty O'Green: No worries, I'm comfortable with the notion that both he and I still find other people attractive, and that there's always going to be the little bittersweet twinge of no more first-stage-relationship thrills with either sex. But I think for myself that with women, there's more of a "something I've never experienced" vs. a "something I'll never experience again". Even with the thought that good, loving relationships, regardless of the sexes or genders involved, are similar at their core, I feel that there's just differences I can't really articulate in how I physically and mentally relate to men I'm attracted to vs. women I'm attracted to.

Though when I find myself going down this line of thought, I then remember that I'd probably feel the same way about men if I had only dated women and had a fiancée, and that, yeah, the person I'm with is awesome enough to overrule the lure of hypotheticals (and that cute barista).

Anyway, thanks for your reply and many, many thanks for resisting the threesome suggestion. :)

@jess: High-five!

Posted by: jay at September 1, 2011 9:43 PM

Well, as a bi-curious male, I really feel like an outcast in every ... oh, nevermind.

Posted by: squirrel at September 1, 2011 9:48 PM

I can't stand societies need to label everything so precisely. Yeah its handy for kingdom, phyllum, class, order, family, genus species sort of stuff, but human behavior is not always so simple.

I am engaged to marry a man. I have been intimate with women and I enjoyed it, but if pressed I would have to say I end up on the more hetero side of the scale.

I think most people have a more "fluid" sexuality. I can appreciate the sexiness and sensuality of women, and I think some "straight" men, if not so oppressed by the homophobia pervading society, could also admit to finding some men attractive. Maybe not enough to want to have sex with, but enough to find arousing on some scale.

Have to say though, that sex with a bi man was awesome. I guess the experience of being fucked makes one better at fucking another.

Posted by: The Woo at September 1, 2011 10:00 PM

A great article! I loved it.

As a gay man, I've always found it categorically hypocritical for me to insist upon my different "deviant" sexuality and then turn around and belittle bisexuals. It's so insulting to look down like that. If I told someone I was gay and they doubted it enough to say, "I think you're just experimenting on the way to being straight" I would be PISSED.

Bisexuals exist. They like both. Sexuality is a fluid thing. I like men. It's not impossible (just very improbable) that I would ever meet a woman I'd fall in love with. I don't rule it out, but don't bet on it. I still identify as gay.
Gay is a word that easily sums up what I feel about sexual partners. Gay is easy and short and communicates a lot. I think "bisexual" just isn't absolute enough for a lot of people and it's easier to dismiss that.

It's sad that bisexuals have this delta-status. I think part of it comes from what you mentioned: sometimes it's easier to say you're bi before you're gay. I did that. It was my easing into my sexuality. But that doesn't make bisexuality any less legit. I agree that many gay people (both men and women) slag on bisexuals due to the old sociological phenomenon: everyone has to piss on someone. Dumping on bisexuals also solidifies a tone (or at least implies one) that gay people are just more enlightened, of higher standing and just plain better than those crazy, mixed up bisexuals.
It gets under my skin when people say that could never date a bisexual giving the reason that they'd probably cheat. I think this comes from this perception that bisexuals are rowdy and just looking for fun and will absolutely chase the next piece of ass they see.

Basically: bisexuals are treated really unfairly within (and without) the LGBT community. Sexuality isn't absolute. That's truer for some than others. Everyone needs to get over it.

Posted by: Sassafrass Green at September 1, 2011 11:32 PM

This is a really interesting read...

I don't consider myself bisexual, but occasionally I do find myself sexually attracted to a female. But that is something I would never act on. Only because vaginas are gross. I have issues with my own. Blegh, no thanks.

However, I always felt that if you find someone no matter the gender, it doesn't matter what kind of parts they have, and you'd probably wouldn't mind going down on either...er...side.

I had this really weird experience with a friend of mine though. (Not like that!) She's bisexual, and has been since I have known her, which is around 5th or 6th grade. There was this guy I knew who I didn't like, but we kept bumping into each other, and with every bump got creepier and creepier. The very last time I bumped into him, he claimed to be incredibly gay. Then he started dating my bi friend. About a month into their relationship, she told me that they both had crushes on me. I'm not sure what they expected me to do, but I just...kind of ignored it. This may be because he was actually, incredibly crazy, but would always get upset at her and yell at her not to cheat on anyone, but if it was with me, it was totally okay. She never pressured me about that, but he would. All the time. So what would he consider himself now? Eventually they stopped going out...which was nice, because he openly told people that he would use rape as punishment.

That...got kind of off topic...but it seemed related when I thought it.

Posted by: Candee at September 2, 2011 6:47 PM

But... but, that doesn't have anything to do with movies. I'm confused.

Posted by: Arthur Dent at September 2, 2011 7:14 PM

Try being a bisexual woman attempting to date other woman. It's a nightmare and everyone assumes you're doing it for attention.
---
I'd give that a try if I could anyway, cause I want to know what coming is like for a woman.

Meanwhile, I'd assume you were doing it to double your wardrobe.

...

...

...

Just a joke. I'm cool with all you -sexuals, as long as you're getting some.

Posted by: , at September 3, 2011 11:30 AM

As a proud bi (who's been in relationships with both bi and straight men and bi and gay women) (yes I get around) I HATE THESE STUPID STUDIES AND WANT TO BURN DOWN WHICHEVER UNIVERSITY CAME UP WITH THIS SHIT.

I get seriously MAD about the way people see bis, I've had lesbians tell me it's a matter of time before I realize I'm gay. I've had straight folk tell me I'll settled down with a nice Jewish boy eventually. Whatever, I am what I am.

Posted by: Sarah J-Town at September 4, 2011 7:37 AM