Pajiba

RAD!!!

This is glorious. It's absolutely made my day.

I'm almost crying a little bit.

Would some kind soul point this newbie to the Godtopus creation thread? And does the Murder Tank cause destruction on behalf of Godtupus or is it an independent entity manifesting its own sense of free will?

So... I know that the first run has to be normal tees, but is there any chance at all of girlie-style shirts in the future? 'Cause that MurderTank shirt has "wear me to roller derby practice!" all over it...

Godtopus was never created. Godtopus just is.

And the Murdertank must be driven, preferably to the home of Michael Bay or Paul Haggis, where various Eloquents have volunteered to manipulate the 'tank's verious weaponry. I do believe there is also a zombie horde call button in the cockpit.

I meant various, although I didn't mean to use it twice in the saem damn sentence!

Oh! YAY!! Sweet! I just bought Murder Tank. (of course).

HERE IS YOUR ONLY WARNING:

If I see anyone wearing one of these two shirts, I'm going to do one of two things:

a. big sloppy, two hands on the head wet kiss--on th lips! (no Hep C here!)

or

b. hump you on an easily accessible body part. Like, say you are sitting on the ground; I'm going for the head.

Like I said. Fair warning.

"saem damn sentence!"

See, this is what happens when you drink for two. So early in the day, no less. Sad.

The godtopus creation story is offered by oral history only. By which I mean it can be repeated in these comment threads over and over, for thousands of years, till it bears little resemblance to what actually happened and can be twisted for basically any purpose whatsoever.

The MurderTank is our personal death and destruction pleasure RV.

Call for girlie-styles seconded. I want to clutch Godtopus snugly to my boo-..er, heart.

MG, you want to snuggle me WHERE?!?

Looking good, Pajiba. Looking good.

NO NO NO! I mean YES! But no. Dammit, I am so broke right now. These are so awesome! Any chance I can trade in my eloquent eloquence win for a t-shirt?

I think TK should be banned from ordering or wearing any Pajiba tees. Godtopus would not appreciate looking down and seeing him or herself covered with taco sauce or crusty cheese.

jM: Done. In fact, heretofore, all EE winners will receive a T.-- DR

Murdertank rocks.

Reminds me of a mixture of Dawn of the Dead and the oil tanker from The Road Warrior.

DAMMMIT! I will have to buy mine next week. Stupid not payday day.

What are the odds that I would get pulled aside for extra security screening at an airport with the MurderTank shirt?

I'd say high.

melody; I'm counting on that very thing.

Bureaucracies are SOOOO predictable.

Close to my heart boo, close to my heart. I'm a Carolina girl too.

Hells Yes! Now I don't have to eat my cat to save money.

Fuck yeah melody. Are you west, central, or east? I'm west; therefore, Bele Chere this weekend. Ahhh, watching the Cletuses (Cleti?) and Tammy Fayes; good times.

Yay! Guess what I'm getting myself for my birthday next month? I'll wrap them up in an extra-big box so I can't guess what it is. Then, when I rip off the wrapping paper and open the box, it'll be the perfect birthday surprise!

I wonder if my friends will be OK with me wearing one of them to their wedding (which is on my birthday)? I suppose no one can object to Godtopus blessing their union.

In fact, heretofore, all EE winners will receive a T.-- DR

Ahhhh, now you've really made it a contest!

Damn, I got like...number 7, one time. You're probably gonna get my money.

dammit, I meant MG. I'm way too pumped on this t shirt.

I might be a Pajistalker.

Yaaaaay I've got to buy one now. But I agree with others that a women's tee might be a better fit; I'm kind of a little lady. Does anyone know if the XS would still be cute-ish, and not make me look like I'm wearing a potato sack with a murder tank on it?

Holy Smokes. When? How? Why? WHO CARES.

This is the best day of my life. Thanks, Pajiba!

WANT. WANT NOW! MUST HAVE! GRAAAAAAAAA! (Throws chair through window, runs screaming through traffic)

By the way, who is your model? He looks almost too adorable to be a Pajiban.

WHOA whoa whoa b. (Wow, that was a tricky tagging session...)

We here at Pajiba are everything: Beautiful, handsome, smart, hung, great racks, well read, well movied, sought after, warriors--EVERYTHING.

And you will be too, with a shirt of your very own.

I'm Easterly(Raleigh) now, but went to school in the mountains so I still go to A-ville a lot. Branded t-shirts do help the Pajistalking cause. Godtopus wants his/her chosen people to come together and spread the gospel.

boo, that should be the official Pajiba t-shirt sales pitch.

b:I have several aa shirts and for the mens xs, it does get pretty tight...but then again, that depends on how small you are. I'm a typical asian girl and I found that if you hot wash the xs size they definitely shrink and fit VERY snugly. For a more comfy fit, go for the small-but I guess it depends on what you're going for...

He looks almost too adorable to be a Pajiban.

Hey! Not all of us are drooling mutants! I clean up pretty good, at least that's what they tell me.

Not a little lady, here - so I'll probably get the standard t in 'fuckin' huge' (unless the proposed girl t comes in 'you don't get many of those to the pound!'. Often they stop at 40".... no good to me).

I'm a typical asian girl and I found that if you hot wash the xs size they definitely shrink and fit VERY snugly.

Followed by the front of my pants fitting VERY snugly.

Hey! Not all of us are drooling mutants!

*drool*

Just doing my part to hold down the curve.

SQUEE
I second (third? fourth?) the call for girlie tees.
Nothing says drunken murderous rampage like cap sleeves.

Duly noted, boo. Maybe I expected some cynical scruff on his chin, or the pained look of all-knowingness in his eyes...
Regardless - he's cute.

Hey dudettes-

The style AA shirt we're printing these on is actually unisex. I typically wear a large (that's me in the photo above wearing an XL pinned in the back). My girlfriend wears a Medium and she's, um, busty, but has a small waste. The XS is basically a women's small, S women's medium, so on and so forth. Order away ladies.

Agreed, b. Much better than the AA hags. More Pajiba eye candy please!

Thanks nc, methinks the XS will be good then. Off I go to max out my Visa.

oooo, ernesto, you so sexy. fucky fucky two dollars?

and, um, my waste is pretty small too. almost like rabbit pellets. you know what they say about small waste; small toilet paper.

Waist. Shu-up. Just remember, I now hold your credit card info. Bwah-ha.

I'm sorry, but a small men's T-shirt is not shaped anything like a girlee T-shirt. The neckline is wrong. The shoulders hang too far off the shoulder (see photo of man wearing shirt above), and armscye doesn't fit right to accomodate the boobage. The sleeves usually dangle around the elbow, which is unflattering to those with nice upper arms. Plus, the logo is usually too low. Needs to be higher on the plateau. Just because I can fit into a men's small T-shirt doesn't mean it's fits me, if you get my drift. Count me in for another vote for girlee shirts.

True, ernesto but only I know the real value of that...

And I just spent 18 of my last 19 dollars.

P.S. There's no such thing as unisex. That just means "Man's shirt we think ladies will buy if we don't make separate ladies shirt."

What does "pinned in the back" mean? You've clamped it tighter? Is that because that's how it'll fit after a wash?

Short question: what would match a men's large in the rest of the world? Oh and what's the thickness like?

Thank you.

How do the girls feel about the style linked to my name?

Waist. Shu-up. Just remember, I now hold your credit card info. Bwah-ha.

This is the best comeback I have ever read. I want to become an internet vendor (of something, dunno what) just so I can use it someday.

Also, boo, very excellent slam that provoked above comeback.

Men's, Women's - whatever. Just buy it extra tiny and wear it without a bra. No one will notice you're wearing a man's shirt. I promise.

I'm a girl. I bought both. If they come out in "girly," I'll buy another two. Ernesto, you're the best-o!

Dustin...lemme borrow 18 bucks.

Thanks for the link Ernesto; I think those look good... though I did already buy one of the regular ones. Ah well. If it the unisex looks gross I'll pawn it off on an extra-small male and get myself a girlie tee.

Hmm.... and I just promised last week that I
wouldn't buy any more T-shirts.

Oh well, fuck that, I just ordered one of each.
I'll just be sneaky.

Looks like my wardrobe is getting bigger...A Murdertank tee in blood red on a black (or charcoal gray) shirt would be sweet also...just thinking out loud.

What about this? I'd wear the hell out of one of those with a MurderTank™ on it.

Ernesto, I very much like the style you linked. I'm usually OK with the men's style t-shirts, being a roughly small-man-sized gal (*ahem* I mean in clothing size only). However, I may just hold out if you are definitely planning on a girly line of Godtopus tees!

Actually, I'm torn...love the colour of the Murdertank tee, but Godtopus is so Godtopus-darned cute....

Ha ha! Sarina, that would make it a Murder Tank tank.

Awesome. Although I prefer a muscle shirt made from a girlie t. with slits down the back. yes, I am trashy, and proud.

Wait, it only comes in olive if you get this one with the bra liner. It's $3 more, though, so I guess you could put it on the other one and just do it in grey or black, but it would only look half as awesome. Aaaaaanyway, the point is that I demand a tank top.

...please?

Ladies-- this is why Godtopus invented ways to manipulate t-shirts. If the sleeves are too short, chop away! If the neckline is to tight, chop away.
Not form fitting enough--even after being washed in hot water--cut horizontal strips to tie together so it fits your curves.

Need more ideas of ways to change t-shirts to a style you like better? Check out Generation T: 108 Ways to Transform a T-Shirt by Megan Nicolay.

Now get out those credit cards and start ordering! I need to be able to identify my fellow Pajibans.

Jay: "What does "pinned in the back" mean? "

It means, "This shirt doesn't fit me, but if we put a bunch of clothes pins in the back to pull it tight, it will look like it fits like a glove."

Every model in every photo you've ever seen is pinned in the back. That's why the same clothes never fit you the way they fit the model. I once bought a book with a chapter called, "You can tell what's wrong with a garment by the way the model is posed." Neckscarf? Neckline doesn't fit. Sleeves rolled up? Sleeves are too short. Sitting down? Crotch doesn't fit. Snug dress or shirt? Pinned in back.

I'm working on getting the women's tees added to the checkout everybody. If that's the style you'd prefer, hold off on buying until it's up on the site. For those of you that ordered a men's and would prefer a women's, please email me with your info and I'll swap it for the women's tee - ernesto(at)overproof(dot)org.

tamatha, i love tshirt deconstruction. i have that book, and it's good, but it really teaches you how to do your own thing. I've come up with some awesome designs inspired by that book. :)

Thanks, BWeaves, that's what I thought.

So....I want something corresponding to a regular L that does not fit like a glove (especially after washing) and also has, I hope, a little heft.

Advice?

How do the girls feel about the style linked to my name?

ernesto

Favorable, Ernesto. My feelings toward that style are favorable. I'm particularly partial toward the murdertank.

You see, my cubemate uses my tape dispenser from time to time to hang pictures of her stupid fucking YorkiePoo (can we just agree that these "designer dogs" are for lonely assholes?). Thing is, she doesn't replace the dispenser whence she gets it: rather, she puts it in her bottom drawer, you know, the one with the lock.

I ask her (relatively nicely, considering the blinding red rage I am typically in) to just put it back when she's done with it, as it is plain she has no intention of walking the nine fucking yards to the supply closet and procuring her own fucking tape.

Instead, she just continues to take it, only now she leaves in its place a fucking IOU written on a Post-It note...from her stupid fucking YorkiePoo.
"My mommy needed to borrow some tape! I dressed as Princess Leia last weekend for the Halloween Bunco party and mommy took just the CUTEST pictures of me! Teehee!! ROFLOMGBBQKILLMENOW!!!"

So, in summary, you can see why I might prefer a tee shirt of the murdertank variety... Because there's no suicidetank tee shirt.

Godtopus, I hate my life.

Are you west, central, or east?

Not a Carolina girl, but I love my Tar Heels.

Central part of American itself though.

Me: [orgasmic moan] T-SHIRTS!

Boyfriend: Murdertank. I swear Pajiba is a terrorist recruiting cell.

Me: Just because they've drawn up the schematics of a WMD and put it on a t-shirt for all the followers of Godtopus to wear, and just because Homeland Security may or may not have confiscated the site in the past, and just because an full scale zombie army attack is very likely to be linked to them does not make Pajiba a terrorist recruiting cell.

BF: ...

Me: Well, fuck you, I'm signing up.

Mella - a murdertank tee seems quite appropriate for someone in your situation. Have you ever considered getting a rottweiler? You could have a puppy play date! Or instead, maybe one of those demon-dogs from Ghostbusters? There's got to be a breeder somewhere.

GODAMMIT! Completely useless to me now... I've just had the Godtopus flesh-cheetoed onto my back and the guy that did it told me I couldn't wear a shirt for at least six months or until the infection subsides...

Any chance I can get one in a kid's x-small, with just one armhole?

Now that I've had a doodle of mine on a shirt, all I've got left on my checklist is to punch a celebrity in the balls on live television and get drunk at the Vatican. Whooee!

I'm working on getting the women's tees added to the checkout everybody.

Argh! ernesto- that's great, but now I'm in a quandry.

I had promised myself a Pajiba tee as soon as they were available. But at the same, if a girlie style is coming out soon (like in the next few days? or a couple of weeks?) maybe I should wait? ARGH! Brain in a tizzy. Besides myself with joy at t-shirts now being available. Hate difficult decisions.

Ok, I am capable of decision making. Perhaps just one tee now (so hard not to buy both!), and it can be made into a sleeping tee or some such thing when the girlie styles come out. Yes, that's a good compromise...

Hey Tamatha- Don't get in too big of a tizzy. It should be more like this afternoon. Or a couple of days at the latest.

Or, how 'bout now. Women's tees are up and running it looks like. Order away.

ohhhhhh sweet!

I am so excited to buy this t-shirt and wear it around OTTAWA!! I am officially going to steal Boo's idea and actively watch for Pajibans walking around my town. I will oDDviously walk up to anyone wearing said t-shirts and gush about our shared awesomeness.

thank you Pajiba for making me cool. finally.

STELLAR!

ROFLOMGBBQKILLMENOW!!!

I shat myself a little bit. BBQ?

Do these shirts come in big girl sizes? Because I have a lot to love, here. So, do you have a measurement size chart?

Mella, I only share this because I feel so bad for you, but...electric stapler. Start with the eyes, the blind flailing plus the blood curdling screams are very soothing.

Ernesto, I worship at the altar of your awesomeness, second only to Godtopus, thanks for making the lady tees. I'll wait for them.

Anyone I run into wearing the t-shirt gets a beer.

justamanda - I'm an Ottawa girl too! So I'll wear my tee as often as possible, and if you're ever downtown you will see a kindred spirit. ;)

alfie, I must be mellow today because I'm about to do something kind! Pardon me while I go get the weird aftertaste out of my mouth...[gargles lustily from the BOFH's Bottled Brew of Bile & Bitterness]

Ah, there we go. The link of which you speak, in which the mighty Godtopus has its first revelation (for Godtopus knows no gender, yet takes no offence at gendered reference) is in http://www.pajiba.com/does-my-pajiba-look-infected-to-you.htm in which our own TK committed suicide and was elegantly eulogised, shortly after inaugurating the recently-absent WhiskeyBabyNinjaStar!.

Nothing says sociopath like a MurderTank t-shirt in public...how long until Homeland Security pays the 'Jibaverse another visit looking for drunken, zombie-horde-ing, monocular octopus-worshiping, homicidal maniacs bent on the global dominance of (subjectively defined) refined taste? Perhaps we'd be able to win a few converts?

b and justamanda:

Make that at least three Ottawans with tees--I just ordered a MurderTank (though will probably buy a baby tee when they become available, for better fit. I am wee.).

The shirts are great, but I have decided I want to win one.

It's a matter of principle.

Maybe after I win one, I'll buy the other.

My computer has been broken since yesterday morning. I have been away from the interwebs for so long, so long. And what, to my astonished delight, greets me here when my fucking piece of elephant shit is semi-up and running again?

Pajishirts!!! Yes, please.

P.S. - boo, have I told you how damn cute you are?

P.P.S. - At some point we're going to need Pajionesies. Who else is knocked up besides Kolby?

Yay, lady tees! I can't wait to feel the soft caress of the Godtopus across my chest.

And I'm with boo, if I see anyone walking around Philly wearing one, they get a free hump.

Jules, I bet you one drink of your choice that somewhere Shadows is desperately wanting to be that shirt-embodied Godtopus, caressing...caressing...

Any Pajiba-shirts in the Metro Vancouver area will get a righteous fist-bump, high-five, or free groping, or any combination of the above.

Waahoo! I just bought me 2 Pajiba t-shirts! T-shirts I have been craving for months!

A hearty thank you to all involved in making these a reality!

Jaci-Sadly, the women's sizes run small. Don't know about the men's t-shirts. Here's the link to a page where you can then find a size chart for American Apparel: http://store.americanapparel.net/sizing.html

I hope you find something that'll fit!

And I shall be on the lookout for Pajibans of the Maritime Provinces.

Gosh, that sounds like the name of a field guide...a very specialized field guide....

(yes, I am a nature geek; whyever do you ask?)

"... Fer all you know, "God" is a giant blue octopus who digs reruns of "Eight Is Enough"... No one knows shit until he/she kicks the bucket, so keep your hate in check bitches, lest the MurderTank be rolling through YOUR town....)"

"Wouldn't it be a true shitter, however if God WERE a blue octopus and I just totally called it out on this thread... Man what a... what a weird thing that would... I mean, can you IMAGINE? Can you? I'd be like... well, I guess I made it to heaven and all, but check this out Godtopus, I totally guessed what you were - your TRUE form - like a year ago on a thread discussing infected uh... infected pajiba somethingorothers... "

And thus, TOOTBOG was released upon the world. And it was good.

Thanks ernesto! I will be waiting for that second line of shirts. And thanks to everyone who made this happen. Now we can identify each other like the true pajigeeks we are!

ernesto & Joker

I've taken your individual suggestions, combined them in my KitchenAid, added a pinch of crippling hatred, and come up with a delicious casserole of retribution.

I've mounted an electric stapler to a Rottweiler (don't ask how; it may not [read: definitely not] be approved by the Humane Society and those fascist fuckers would just LOVE a reason to have me arrested again; I broke into the SPCA kennel once and let all the dogs out because I've always wanted to wrestle around with a bunch of cute dogs and long story short I got busted for organized dog fighting) and I'm about to give it a test run.

UPDATE It totally works. I'm gonna run to the free clinic real quick and get a tetanus shot and then this shit is ON.

And I'm with boo, if I see anyone walking around Philly wearing one, they get a free hump.

Servo, do I have to be wearing the shirt to get a hump? Or is that just how we greet each other?

caressing...tweaking.

I'm sad, whenever I've worn my Pajiba Bus(ted) Tour shirt no one has ever recognized it. I use it as a beacon, calling out to fellow Jibans to hang out and get some beers. I guess I'm the ONLY cool person in West Philly. :p

Our clothes are cut for a youthful shape. Most of our garments fit a little snug to flatter almost any body type.

Are they just saying "skinny" then?

Hmm. I'm a sturdy little East European Box, and that's how I like t-shirts to fit. A sturdy box.

Aww hell, Chewbacca, I'm out of luck, aren't I?

Oh please Nicole. Why do you think I want to hang out with you so bad? To hump, tee shirt or no!

Mella, thanks--my monitor totally needed a nice spritz of coffee.

(picturing vicious Staple-weiler terrorizing office)

*Heeheehee*

That's my girl.

Okay, I have to choose. I can only get one shirt. I feel like Solomon.

Any chance I can get one in a kid's x-small, with just one armhole?

For minimus? With the armhole so you can rub one out?

Generation T: 108 Ways to Transform a T-Shirt by Megan Nicolay.

Sounds like required reading for the Apocalypse Kit. What? I didn't pack enough books.

Jay, I think those shirts might fit even Brian Dennehy. The Large (unisex, not girly) is 42-44 chest and 33-34 waist. The XL is 46-48 chest and 36-38 waist. The XXL is 48-50 chest and 40-42 waist.

PS - You can keep trying to tell people you're a sturdy little box, but I think you're forgetting that some of us know what you actually look like.

Thanks Tamantha, I'll probably end up snagging a men's 2x like I usually do.

*sigh*

They just don't fit right though, dammit. It catches on all my wobbly bits, hangs loose in the wrong spots and chokes me. I'm built like Queen Latifah without the giant sweater cows.

Will it look more hardcore if the murdertank shirt is all ripped up like the Hulk's pants I've been attacked by zombies? Hopefully.

You know, re-reading that old-as-shit thread made me have a Dragonball Z flashback.

KAMEHAMEHA!!!!!!!

Julie dear, it sounds like you'll have to move somewhere else to get are more appropriate reception. I'd make suggestions, but I don't want to piss anyone off.

meaux, would a Pajiban be found in a bar, basement theatre room, or a theatre as a natural habitat? Have you studied the mating habits, or perhaps migration patterns yet? These are questions needing answers!

Mella, you're my kind of twisted. I recommend bear spray and a cattle prod as useful yet ornamental accessories.

horray for shirts! I have been waiting for this day for a long time. Now I can spend my days explaining to people what a Pajiba is.

You can keep trying to tell people you're a sturdy little box, but I think you're forgetting that some of us know what you actually look like.

Naw, it's true. Those rectangular t-shirts that acknowledge no waist and yield to no breast that women and skinny boys complain about? That's what fits me. As far as as I'm concerned the Hanes Beefy-T's the best bit of clothing ever produced. Doesn't have to be an enormous size, it's more the design, though I'm definitely not willowy and don't need armpit creep. Thus it's hilarious for me to read the AA review comments with people writing "Hooray! Finally a t-shirt for skinny people!". Gives one pause, and I just didn't want to try it on and say "shit...unwearable". Plus, since I wear undershirts, an outer t-shirt that's also thin wrinkles and clings together with undershirts and just doesn't look flattering at all.

The worst surprise I ever got though was a Cure shirt in 2000 which was black so I didn't realize until I got home that , while it fit okay, it had this peculiar slightly-V-neck. Almost like a teardrop shape, just a point dipping below where the crew neck would end. Definitely wouldn't work with an undershirt, nor any sanity. You bastards!

*whispers* Shh, lordhelmet, the natives might notice that I'm observing them...Boy, these shirts sure are going to help, though.

Ha, heaven help anyone who tries to study the mating habits of Pajibans!

[Attenborough voice]"...And this curious courtship ritual involves bathing in what appears to be some sort of ground beef-based dip. Almost...taco-like in consistency."[/Attenborough voice]

Hell, Skittimus alone would provide enough material for a solid masters thesis.

lordhelmet

Your suggestions have been implemented. I've cinched a cattle prod to Buffy's side with a couple belts like a cool jousting lance. Then I taped a can of bear spray to an oscillating fan which I've mounted just behind the electric stapler on his back. I've modded the fan to run on three D cell batteries, which eliminates the need for an extension cord (don't want OSHA to freak out about a workplace tripping hazard; those guys are so anal haha!).

Off to work!

I second the need for a whiskeyBabyNinjaStar! Tshirt!!! I LOVE WhiskeyBabyNinjaStar!.

Yip! Yip! Murdertank tees! Perfect inspirational wear for this girlie. Might just splurge on both unisex and girlie styles for during and after treatment wear. See, these lovely tubes I've got hanging from my chest kind of funk with the fit of my clothing. Let me say, ain't nothing more sexy than a gal with a lumpy looking booby.

Anyway...

boo/tamatha That book rocks! I spent one night at the beach last summer deconstructing my friends' tees over some cheap ass wine. The other residents of the house gave us the "What's with the crafty weirdos?" look, but I gave them my best, "Fuck you, white trash." sneer right back. Hmmm. Long story, I guess.

T-shirts! T-shirts!

Aaaaand I just fell in lust with Mella (love is for pussies! Ha! hehe...that's dirty...geez I need a drink...).

So any pajibans in The Netherlands? No? Figured. Fine, I'll have to go to London and meet Alex and then we can terrorise the city in our MurderTank tees. It will be sweet!

This has nothing to do with anything, but...the word cockpit makes me giggle. It makes me think of a pit full of...well...not snakes ;)

I'm with you Joker, cockpit sounds like an incredibly unflattering euphamism for vagina.

I can only imagine what a meeting a Pajiban will be like.

[jM sits at a bar in her Godtopus t-shirt desperately waiting for happy hour deals to start when out the corner of her eye she sees a fellow patron in a MurderTank shirt. Without hesitation, she walks up behind them and says...]

jM: The zombies are smiling.

'jiban: The MurderTank is full.

jM: The panda is crying.

'jiban: The Godtopus RULES!

[...ninja smoke bomb goes off...and like that...we're gone, leaving only a trail of booze, taco dip, scrabble pieces, and exploded pants in our wake.]

jM,

If you're ever in Philly, meet Julie and I at the Khyber. When you're with a regular, you never have to wait for happy hour prices to start. And they don't really end, either. Julie can attest to this.

At some point we're going to need Pajionesies.

Oh, the kid will be stylin', y'all.

I've bene wracking my brain cell for half the day, trying to figure out just what size I'd wear. I'm still probably an x-small in the shoulders, but I'm obviously not in the abdominal region. Hmmmmm. Maybe I'll get a men's medium and hope it shrinks just so?

whenever I've worn my Pajiba Bus(ted) Tour shirt

What?! What does this mean?! Is there some super secret Pajiba shirt the rest of us have not been deemed cool enough to get?! What?!

Or is this a joke, and I missed it because I'm so obsessed with Pajiba t-shirts, I get into a tizzy easily when the subject comes up?

Fucking hell with the typos today.

It should be law that should a 'Jiban meet a 'Jiban (comin thro the rye), regardless of what's going on at the moment, both must hit the nearest drinkpit to toss one down. You're giving birth in the back of a cab and when the cabbie turns around to ask "where to?" and you both realize you're 'Jibans? You'd better forget about the crowning and buckle-up sister. You gotta knock back a cold one...

Similarly, should a 'Jiban meet a AICNer, both must fight to the death. Especially in a supermarket!

"and, um, my waste is pretty small too. almost like rabbit pellets. "

Christ Boo. I am trying to look like I am working here. It is hard to pull off when I am choking back tears of laughter.

Julie, even for you that's just...wrong. Euphemism for vagina?! Like a pit full of cocks? I mean...A cock, but cockS sounds a bit...I don't know, dangerous. How many are we talking about here? I was thinking that you'd be walking down the street and then the earth sinks beneath your feet and you find yourself swimming in a pool of cocks. In a pit. I think this has gone off the rails.

jM that should be our official passphrase to make sure you're not dealing with an impostor. What if a pajiban had their way with someone and then had to sneak out the window because the panda's spouse just walked in the room and noticed all the scrabble tiles on the floor and hearing the cries of distressed panda runs up the stairs and the 'jiban is forced to leave the t-shirt?

If I'm ever in the area, You guys are the first ones I'm calling jodester. That's a fact. Now I have the Always Sunny promo song stuck in my head...

Going back to Philly, Philly, Philly...

With the 20 hours of Dark Knight Hell I'm going to face this weekend, the fact a Godtopus is on its way makes it all better.

Anyone know how long the shipping time is?

Mella, I'd recommend upgrading to a motorcycle battery for extended life/greater power per zap, if the critter can carry the weight.

Meaux, you could write a whole encyclopedia set about Skitt.Max & Skitt.Min, never mind TK and PissBoy. Joker, this is reminding me of George Carlin's Airline Security routine.

Other passwords: "My baby is made of whiskey," (response: "and throws ninja stars"); "Uwe Boll" (response: murderous rampage); "This is his dry-cleaning bill: four sweater vests!" (response: duck and look nervously for TK)

What fresh hell is this, Jim?

jM: I propose that should be the Official Pajiba Secret Greeting. I laughed so hard my office mates took notice which is NEVER a good thing.

Saturday is my birthday so a Pajiba tee is a pretty awesome gift I will be giving myself. I only wish the Murdertank tee had a list of targets on the back. Maybe next time.

So, in my overwhelming enthusiasm to order a Pajishirt, I overlooked the part about girlie sizes being available. Now I regret ordering a manly XS Godtopus--but when I emailed service [at] overproof [dot] org in a fit of buyer's remorse, hoping to swap out my sizes, the email bounced back...

jM- I've been wondering what the proper greeting for a fellow 'jiban would be, and that is perfect. Thanks!

lordhelmet Yours are awesome too.

JenK - email me your info and the size you want and I'll make sure it gets swapped for the correct shirt.

ernesto(at)overproof(dot)org

"This is his dry-cleaning bill: four sweater vests!" (response: duck and look nervously for TK)

I like it, lordhelmet. And someone should tell TK that he isn't allowed to wear his Pajiba shirt under a sweater vest. That doesn't count.

Thanks Ernesto! Email forthcoming.

TOOTBOG!aaaaaaa ha ah ah ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ah ahahhahahaaa....

I totally forgot about that, Skit.
jM, please add that one to the list of acceptable passwords.

It gains you entrance to socalled's Sit, Sip and Spin: Survival Training course and TK's Sit, Good Boy: Zombie Training course.

We have to be prepared people. Always on a swivel.

okokokokok!

Murdertank is now MINE!

B and Ranylt watch out for me as I will be watching for you!

ps. i am very very cute. that should be helpful.

Umm, due note of caution. The "This is his dry-cleaning bill: four sweater vests!" prompt should NOT be used with TK, whose response will likely be (stabbity stab stab decapitate stab stab kick slash stumble spill drinks on self, stab stab slice own finger off, stab, yell "stop laughing you sonsabitches!!!", summon zombie horde, cackle maniacally, and pass out. In that order.) When approaching TK it's best to begin by buying him a drink of the good stuff and say "Godtopus smiles on the Red Sox," expecting the response ("Who the fuck are you?" eye twitch), after which you should give him another drink and slowwwwwly leave the premises, never turning your back on him.

If using the sweater vest prompt on a "normal" pajiban, they must buy you a drink if you sing it properly. If they're quick enough to join you on the harmony part of "4 sweater vests" you must proceed to humping. Or shake hands, you know, whatever works.

Those are some ugly fucking t-shirts. Perfect for me, actually (not being known for having a sophisticated fashion sense, or any fashion sense for that matter).

Umm, just to point out, he's in Boston and I'm not. Try at your own risk.

Now I have the Always Sunny promo song stuck in my head...,/i>

I've been singing that all week! God I love me some Charlie. And what Jodester said is true, our happy hour last night lasted till 9:00. Whoot.

And Tamatha, I got a busted tee as a birthday surprise from PissBoy. I was expecting a puppy's severed head, so I was quite pleased.

Lordhelmet, I don't appreciate the insinuation that I'm some sort of lunatic (gonnastabyouinthebelly). I'm actually quite nice, and anyone who talks to me thinks so (thatswherethejuicybitsare). I guess I'm just saying that (hateyouallkillyouall) maybe you're rushing to (gonnafeastonthegooinside) judgment.

And that's not very fair.

I am making a list of all the promises being made if I should be seen wearing a Pajiba! shirt.

I get a beer from Joker. Nice.

I get a free hump from Julie. Super cool bonus points if it's in public!

Then 2 interesting ones...

Justamanda...You said "I will oDDviously walk up to anyone wearing said t-shirts and gush about our shared awesomeness.
What do you mean by gush? Do you mean gigle and squee! and jump up and down like 10 year olds who just touched Justin Timberlake? Or "gush" as in the kind of adult features that should be hidden from 9 year old PissBoys snooping around in dad's closet? Either way it would be totally rad. I just need to know if I should bring a raincoat and be ready to judge for distance.

And my lovely boo. You present the biggest quandry of them all.
a. big sloppy, two hands on the head wet kiss--on th lips! (no Hep C here!)
or
b. hump you on an easily accessible body part. Like, say you are sitting on the ground; I'm going for the head.
Which would I shoot for? How awesome would a long open-mouthed full-on-tongue-hot-kiss-action kiss be wiff you?! I wouldn't be able to contain meself. But at the same time...it would be awesome to the umteenth power to have you hump my head if I were having a bit of a sitdown in a sunny park, because then I could turn into it and it would be motor-boat-city!!!!! Decisions, decisions...

Looks like I have travel to plan and stalking to begin. I shall see thee 4 upon the random!

damn tags....

lordhelmet those are valid points. However, I believe that it is foolish to meet TK on his own territory. You should meet only in well lit populated areas...with a kevlar vest on...and a helmet...separated by a moat and an electrified fence...with air support...and an ambulance on speed dial. Or just contact him through one of his seventy three blogs.

Ernesto: How do the girls feel about the style linked to my name?

Ah! Now that's a girlee T-shirt. Much better fit.

PissBoy, I have yet to decide whether or not the aforementioned free hump will be:

A. My legs wrapped around the Murdertank-clad 'Jiban's waist.

or

B. A replica of Marty Feldman's getup from Young Frankenstein.

Decisions decisions. :p

TK, I'm not attacking you personally. I'm thinking "now what would I do in this situation" and just switching sides. I have nothing but respect for you (ok, and a very healthy fear that had me hopping nervous when you were in the Seattle area last week - that's a bit too close for comfort) and there's no rush to judgment (it was very carefully weighed, considered, drafted, edited, then legally evaluated) here.

jM, let's make a new prompt then: "The sweater-vested zombie spills at midnight" (response: "Godtopus is in his ocean, and TK is far away.")

Julie, naturally it must be both! You can leg-hump Marty Feldman's hump while the tankard-clad pajiban either joins in or establishes a safe distance, whichever is preferred. Any of the above would be hilarious.

But... but what about the tank tops? Dude, don't make me whine. You won't like it. Nobody will like it.

You know what everyone would like, though? TANK TOPS.

...please?

That sounds like the perfect Saturday night, lordhelmet.

Sarina, I would also like a Godtopus thong, oven mitt, eyepatch, WWGtpD bracelet, dickey, and tea cozy.

Jules, I love your Saturday nights - come my way and I'll make it happen. I must say, the thong, oven mitt, and eyepatch all sound kinda kinky. Somewhere, Shadows & Vermillion are adjusting their posture and wiping up the inadvertent drool resulting from that mental image.

Hey Sarina - I'm out of tank tops, but I think I've got some lederhosen that would fit you just right. I know, I know BWeaves- hey're made for men. But honestly, if you order them small enough and wear the right vest no one will notice the difference. You can be the hippest Pajiban in all of 18th century Austria.

What's a dickey? I want a blazing sword with a hilt in the shape of an octopus with its tentacles wrapped all around each other and a turquoise stone for the Holy Eye of Godtopus. Make it happen.

Can I get a Murdertank knitted cap?

Or a Godtopus bandanna?

Servo, don't forget the Franklin Mint collector's edition Godtopus plate. With certificate.

I decided I'm going MurderTanky. While I bow to Godtopus, I worship at the whiskey fountain.

O.My.God! I would judo-chop Jesus in the neck to get a Godtopus eye-patch. Then I would modify it to squirt ink at anyone that tries to lift it up.

Can I trade my comment win last week where I was to receive a copy of The Adventures of Pete and Pete, Season 1? I really want a MurderTank shirt and I will pay the postage.

Yes, richmac. But I don't think you've sent me your mailing address yet. -- DR

Joker, a dickey is a certain...extension of a male that is a lot of fun to play with. You see, when a man and a woman love each other, or when the woman plies said man with numerous tequila shots and then takes advantage of his drunken "What Is This Word 'No' Of Which You Speak?" state to tie him to her bed and gag him till his screams are properly muffled...

Wait. Dick-ey.

Well Pissboy, let me first say that the type of gushing depends on the situation. Middle of street and daytime run-into-a-Pajiban-encounter would probably consist more of the "Oh-my-zombierific-gosh! I am SOOOO excited to see you" variety. However, nighttime, or you know, alley way meetings could have more varieties of gushing. And raincoats are a valuable item and a good idea. Have you seen Califonication? You know the scene with Duchovny, Evan Handler, and Porn Star? The one where they are all nekkid? A raincoat could come in handy.

Oh! OR!

Godtopus high tops that squirt ink from the heelS, ala Slick Shoes!

Perfect for the survival kit...

PissBoy, one day we might meet, and when that day comes, I have a feeling that is exactly how we will greet one another. People around us will begin to have spontaneous orgasms, signifying a new time for human beings, The O Age.

Really, we could end War.

"You can be the hippest Pajiban in all of 18th century Austria."

Ernesto's got kind of a smart fucking mouth.

I like that.

Godtopus high tops that squirt ink from the heelS, ala Slick Shoes!

Slick shoes?! Are you crazy?!

Julie, I can't tell you just how much I would have rather heard your version of Sex Ed in high school. Hmmm, tough choice, Birds n Bees or Pajibal dickeys...

Waitaminnit - why was the guy screaming??

Boo, I love the idea of the O Age!

Slick shoes?! Are you crazy?!

Julie would kill herself. She and TK are akin to the perfect marriage of klutz.

boo, I hope that I am present on that wonderful day.

Julie and I already know we can never be in the same room, for fear that the universe would explode.

War wouldn't end because of our collective awesomeness either, or even humanity collectively/spontaneously getting their nut...people would just be covered in too much fluid to feel motivated to fight anymore.

I can't be sure lordhelmet, lets just assume that ice cubes, spanking, and/or biting was involved.

And TK is right, if we met the universe would just plain 'splode in an array of sparkles, sprained ankles, and booze. Then our souls can duke it out over our beloved sports teams until the Archduke of the Underworld (aka Joshua Jackson) tires of our fighting and reincarnates us as ski boots or fireflies or Isla Fisher's left breast.

From the book of Trojan:

"And ye shall know the coming of the O age, for thusly your body will tremble, wave upon wave of tension, and ye might cry out in fear to Godtopus....but Fear Not! For the rapture of the great Godtopus will rack you will love, and the O leaving ye full of blessedness. Ye shall know the coming of the O age, because it will keep cumming...

Ye shall know the coming of the O age, because it will keep cumming...

You are so awesome boo. I want to straddle you, or braid your hair.

My boss is currently sitting in the next cubicle, filling in for the vacationing secretary. I can only imagine what he thinks is causing my giggling and wheezing over here.

I got a busted tee as a birthday surprise from PissBoy

grumble grumble PissBoy grumble grumble

Julie, I can't think of a proper way to reward you for your performance today - as Morale Officer of Spaceball 2/MurderMaid you have consistently exceeded expectations in posting lewd, wildly hilarious, and generally awesome comments. There's gonna be a promotion in it for you somehow, I'm still trying to design the ceremony. So far it involves lace, leather, chocolate syrup, a frozen bra (I know, I know, predictable, but you can't go wrong with the standards), electro-stimulant probes, and exactly half an ostrich.

boo, verily thou writest O-scripture of the finest kind. And yet, I can't help but think we should weaponise this somehow - incapacitate our enemies with the Everlasting O-grenade, with a minimum half-hour setting that adds 10 minutes each time the word "it" is said. Or the Disorienting O-Ray of Bliss, which can overwhelmingly stimulate the brain's pleasure centres from 11 American football fields (or 10 Canadian) away. There may be a problem with the Pajiba shock troops turning the weapons on themselves/each other, but I'm sure this can be addressed. Likewise, the military-grade fluid retention/absorption system has yet to be perfected.

Holy cats! This is big news.
I am so excited for my first Pajibasighting in the Old Port. Beware, though. When I get overly excited, I'm kind of like that puppy that has gotten bigger, faster than it realizes, and jumps all over you, knocking you down and getting you all slobbery and muddy.
I'll try not to dirty your fancy new shirt, though. I promise.

So far it involves lace, leather, chocolate syrup, a frozen bra, electro-stimulant probes, and exactly half an ostrich.

Ha ha ha!! Those are ALL my favorite things. I can't wait to play with my ostrich, poor bird doesn't know what's in store for it.

That's my girl...care to suggest a new title/rank for yourself?

So any pajibans in The Netherlands? No? Figured.

No! Wait, wait. I'm right here!

Hmmm...at work I'm pretty much known as the Cat-Raping Jesus-Punching Inappropriate Comment Making Lover of Cleavage and Cursing. Add Colonel to that and we're golden :)

Hmmm, that's kind of a mouthful...how's about Colonel Comments, Cleavage, & Cursing, or C4? (Or Colonel Cleavage for short? - I kid, I kid.) Dude, you must be a riot to work with!

What kind of uniform goes along with a title like Colonel Cleavage, I wonder? I bet it's very demure.

Well, let's ask the lady. She can pretty much write her own ticket. All I ask is it not be a burka - I'm sure Shadows would have some input, but he should know as XO that if he dictates her uni, she gets to dictate his. I'm progressive like that.

DUDES! This is the best news ever!

lordhelmet When I see you downtown I will haunt you, murmuring, 'Braaaaiiiinnnnssss' until you find me. Bet on it!

I've just been busy, like with my basement sewage problem and the kids and whatnot (they are so demanding, what with the food and attention thing, my GODtopus!). I think I'll throw down some new artwork pretty soon, 'cause I'm always so jealous of the Skits One and Skits Two...and I know that that's not ALL they can do. I got my eye on the Webster's Bitch actually...I think she could be a little dirtier, I'm thinking.

Anyhoo - off to beg a boon from the hubby...give me money for a t-shirt and I'll forgive all the missed birthdays, kay? Or you can sleep in the basement with the buckets.

Love!

Replica, good to find you! I'm not often downtown, but there's a certain fireworks show on and I'll be in the English Bay area for that...I don't know how you'll recognise me but if I see you there's definitely a fist bump coming your way, and if I hear your "braaaaaaiinnnss" you can expect to hear an "oh my godtopus" in reply. Don't expect ladyhelmet to play along, though, she's in a whole different world.

Nux, really?! Cool! Which city are you in? I'm in The Hague.

Uh...Julie, thanks for that birds and bees lecture. It was interesting. I can't wait for the practical class. Will it involve an ostrich? Leather? Dare I hope...pandas?

Eighteen dollars my ass, for that much I can get two nickels, a date, and some beer for that.

"Hey dudettes-
The style AA shirt we're printing these on is actually unisex."

Are you fellas really willing to wear a shirt that has room for my enormous rack? That's so sweet!

Any chance I can get one in a kid's x-small, with just one armhole?

I just had my first experience spitting food on my monitor.

Thanks Skittimus

Aaarrgh!! After reading through all the comments here, I'm feeling a little inadequate. Were I wearing one of these fine quality-made t-shirts, and thence approached by a fellow Pajiban, would I be able to prove myself? Or would said 'jiban stomp away in disgust, thinking me a poseur? Am I a poseur?? Just because I don't comment very often doesn't make me any less invested in the Pajibaverse! Just because I don't have time to always read all the comments doesn't make me a flake!!! I'm far behind in my 'Jible studies; I know I read the origin tales of the Godtopus at their very inception, but, alack! I was far too stoned to retain any of their true meaning. O woe upon the Pajislacker and her pitiful pickled brain!

How's about if I just blow a mighty belch upon any potential brothers/sisters? It's not quite at the level of a humping, but I feel it would prove my mettle.

Edwina the Magnificent:

Coming from another "barely" commenter, I would say that as long as your belch smells of a Pajiba concoction (see Boozehound Cinephile) you'd fit in just fine.

Could be wishful thinking on my part, though (my belches currently smell of the GinGin Mule - mmmmm - minty!)

I just get back from vacation, decide to check out what you have all been up to while I have been MIA, and VIOLA!!!!! the great GODTOPUS has answered all my prayers!!!! WHEEEEEE-DOGGIES!!!!!! My order is on it's way!!!!!!!

Nux, really?! Cool! Which city are you in? I'm in The Hague.

I'm in Utrecht, and also a longtime lurker. You made me delurk :)

Heh...good :D About time you put that joint down and started typing. Hey, that's like...20 min away by train...or something. Only been at the train station there on the way to Germany.

Looks like dammitjanet has provided the awesomest 'jiban greeting of them all! When approaching a Pajiba T-clad stranger otherwise unbeknownst, simply bellow:

"VIOLA!!!!! the great GODTOPUS has answered all my prayers!!!!"

There's a certain Hannibal Lecter quality to imagining the Murdertank accompanied by a string quartet (and a nice Chianti, of course), but I suppose it's not that out of character...

Jay

Asshole customers.

Oh my Godtopus! I'm trembling in anticipation...must. pajiba. now.

delurking just to say

Must have a WBNS shirt! From the moment I saw that original drawing for it I NEEDED one. I must have one.

That is all

Gack! No one likes me, but I bet I'm the only Pajiban from West Virginia. Can I get the MurderTank on a pair of Carhart overalls??

you need to do a girl edition, we can buy them smaller but that neck line - augh - it is way too high and tight, even for fellows.

Jay

Asshole customers

Oh, you work at a theater, don't you, Jim?

My mantra when waiting in concession lines and just maneuvering around the fools in general is Walter Sobcek's "FUCKING Amateurs". I like to get my popcorn and Cherry Coke Soup Nazi-style. All theater employees have my sympathies.

but that neck line - augh - it is way too high and tight, even for fellows.

rosie, your fellow commenters are way ahead of you on the girl sizes and they were made available right away. As for the neck, I like a snug, resilient neck with some thick elastic. That saggy feeling, especially when a jacket or backpack gets added, drives me nuts. I've never worn an American Apparel t-shirt though, so who knows? I've heard their stuff's like Hungarian, not based on anyone else's rules. Every now and then you do get a neck that's somehow up to your chin or the end of the shirt is too low and tight and you feel like you've just put on the Puffy Shirt (for some reason shirts with Smiths designs on them are often built for people with extremely long narrow torsos).

Any Pajibans lurking around the streets of Brisbane? Or is it just gonna be me and my Godtopus shirt all cold and alone... I guess I'm never really alone so long as Boo continues to hump and kiss every Pajiban she sees.. At least I know the love is there, even if it's on the other side of the globe... 'sigh'...

I'm going on a world tour, BrisVegasBec, so that I might spread the O Age to all the worthy Pajibites. :)

I desperately want to win one, just so's I can tell people, when asked if I'm a rampaging, murdering lunatic that I WON my murdertank shirt, fuck you very much!

And then, after they've turned and run in fear, I will slowly stalk them through the shops downtown, allowing just glimpses of myself to be seen before I strike, quiet and swift.

Followed by a quick stop in the coffee shop, as it takes so much out of you, and a jaunt to the library and that's a good Tuesday.

Yeah. Well, those of us who A) aren't as witty as some other Pajibans (and therefore know that it'll be a cold day in hell before she wins a Pajiba t-shirt--and if it's that cold, then it'll be too cold for just a t-shirt anyway, and so, said shirt would then be hidden under a toasty sweater, and what good is that when you're trying to be recognizable to fellow 'jibans?), and/or B) can't wait to have a t-shirt, just know that we have to simply hand over some hard-earned money so that we can have a shirt right away.

But best of luck to you Captain Steve and you too, Jerce!

BrisVegasBec, we are out there. A small but committed number of us. Quietly spreading the pajigospel of the godtopus and the disciples of the MT. We just don't de lurk that often because, as you see, time difference = comment is entirely irrelevant.

hey BrisVegasBec, wouldn't these designs be grander on a Bonds T anytime of the day or night?!

lordhelmet, you are now the designated Vancouver Murdertank leader. Upside: respect of your fellow Vanc. Pajibans. (ie. me...I bow down to your greatness. Also, to your courage/foolishness in aggravating TK.) Downside: you are also the Murdertank driver thus excluding you from any possible (hell, likely) drinking games. Although, you know, I'd love to see what crazy cop would try to pull over a MurderTank. I call shotgun! May the Godtopus be with us!

I reeeeaaaalllly want a Godtopus tee, but I look truly awful in white. :-( I look quite lovely in green though, so Murdertank is mine! I had to send back my Dr. Horrible shirt, but this more than makes up for it. Hoorah!

io, you're really too kind (it's about time somebody bowed to my greatness, godtopus knows ladyhelmet doesn't). As Maritime Murdertank Cell Leader meaux already acknowledged, I don't drink so that she can, so that would make me a better driver, but what I lack in drunkenness I more than make up for in sheer homicidal rage. As for aggravating TK, I merely recognise a great kindred spirit and do my utmost to keep him at his psychotic, clumsy, zombie-summoning best. Drinking games? Go right ahead! When I'm not driving the Murdertank (or manhandling the MurderMaid - does that sound dirty?) I'll be at the venerable Whiskey Fountain bar, fuelling your drunken antics. I like to think our Mounties would know better than to pull over the MT, but imagine how effectively and satisfyingly we'd handle rush hour!

Drat - the girly t's stop at xl, and I'd need 2xl.....

My deadbeat father called for the first time in a few years, wondering what I wanted for my birthday. But mostly he wanted to know if I was getting him anything for Father's Day. I'll tell him to get me a shirt, and I'll buy him some gay porn, so his drunken arse will leave me the hell alone.

Oh, and I'd like the girl's tops to be bigger, I could use one as my exercising/lazing around top. Lately I've been using my Chaser's War on Everything shirts.

I've just ordered my Godtopus shirt, so that when I'm up at school, people will think at first that it's some sort of band that they have never heard of, thus making me much cooler than they are.

Then, they will learn that it is not a band. It is Godtopus. All hail Godtopus.

Bit late for Father's Day isn't it?

I just added one shirt to my cart, added the shipping for the UK - $11.95. Fair enough.
Then I added the second shirt - shipping is now double!
What the frakk? They should be sent in one package, right? And I've had AA shirts before, I know they aren't that heavy or bulky. How come shipping for both shirts comes to over $23?

Hmph. Well, I'm ordering one shirt - though I was intending to get both.

Yay, the great Godtopus is on its way to me at last. Thanks, ernesto!

lordhelmet, glad you're here to DD the MurderTank! Undiluted rage makes for much better driving. However, be warned that if I'm responsible for drinking all of your share of the booze, I'll be among the worst of the rowdies at the bar.

Ah, who am I kidding, I don't get unruly...I'll just be cracking lame jokes and warding off the spins while lying on the floor. Call me the official MurderTank Inebriated Peanut Gallery.

Olive green...not my color, but the undeniable, unrelenting awesome that is the Murdertank T renders it an absolute fucking necessity in my closet (and I don't wear T's...ever). Oh sweet murdering Lord that is beautiful.

I have a bit of a problem. I ordered a shirt a little over two weeks ago and I didn't receive any kind of receipt or shipping confirmation in my email, but my credit card was definitely charged. I haven't received the shirt. Should I just wait longer? I don't really know how to get ahold of someone that can help with this. Anyone else have this problem?

Same here - ordered a shirt on the 4th, the money came out of my account two days later, still no shirt.

I have a Paypal receipt, but that's all. And when I tried emailing the contact address given (service@overproof.org) it came back undeliverable.

What's up with that?

I got my first shirt over a week ago. I ordered a second shirt more recently (I don't remember when, cuz I'z dumb) and that one's not here yet, but I know it'll get here eventually.

They will come, dear children. Have faith.

OK Sarina, I'll trust in Godtopus!

It seems odd that the email doesn't work, though.

Same prob here. I ordered a shirt on the day they became available and haven't received anything, so I tried emailing service@overproof.org and my message was bounced back. What are you doing to me, Ernesto? I want my teeee!

You too, b? Still nothing here.

I suspect that service@whatever is a standard email address, which sellers are assumed to have set up for queries. But if no-one's set it up for overproof, we have no way except posting here to chase up the shirts.

I doubt they ordered a huge number of shirts made, so perhaps certain sizes/designs/colours were over-ordered and have to be replenished. Or something. It would be nice to know, though.

I've ordered from Cafepress and Glark before, and about half the time, the shirts get lost/stolen in the mail and have to be sent again. (I have no idea why, but it only seems to happen to shirts!) The difference is, with those guys, when that happens I can contact someone & confirm it should have arrived by then, and get a replacement sent.

I'm fairly certain the delays are merely due to stock being depleted by the huge quantity of orders. I'm not remotely worried that my second shirt will arrive eventually, as will everything we all ordered. However, for those of you who still have questions, try this email.

My shirt just came in! Yaaaaaaaaay! There's hope for you yet, Tarn. :D

Mine came too!! Yay!

I'm wearing it to the gym today - there are some people there who definitely need the threat of the Murdertank to make them behave considerately. (Get a clue, guys - wipe your sweat off the damn machine for the next person. Or else - Murdertank!)