Pajiba

Re: the Billy Smoke adaptation, it seems like you see that sort of thing a lot these days. I keep reading about novels that haven't even been published yet whose film adaptations have already been written and cast.

Also, a trade round-up being posted while I'm still at work (I'm a night shifter)...how delightfully odd. What time do you get up, Dan?!

Yeah, I just don't know about this new Terminator. I want to be excited, and I should be able to, but Hollywood has taken away my movie-loving soul.

'Billy Smoke' sounds ridiculous and as for the new Terminater. When will Hollywood learn. The secret to a successful franchise is to NEVER make more than 3 movies.

If you do, then at least w8 a few years and TOTALLY reinvent the franchise...like they did with Batman.

The new Bond looks cool. But the adversarial relationship between Bond and Q has turned into the sterotypical "good cop who refuses to go by the book" and "give me your badge lieutenant".

EricD, you mean M instead of Q. The trailer looks quite in order, of course everybody says he draws heavily on Bourne.

Wasn't the new Terminator supposed to be PG-13? The one that happens right in the middle of the giant apocalyptic robot war? Please tell me I'm remembering this wrong.

I guess it's never too early to be let down.

This should be the motto of all future round-ups.

War of the Gods? At first I read God of War.

I remained indifferent either way.

I'm gonna have to see some more hint of a plot for the new Bond movie before I decide how I feel about it. The look of it seems to be fantastic though.

That Billy Smoke news is ridiculous. I've read books where it's blatantly obvious the author was writing for the book to be adapted to a movie but for a movie to be based around a non-extant (as of now) source is just lazy if nothing else.

The only way for them to possibly cancel out the herpburn that is McG directing Terminator, is to have gratuitous Bale nudity.

Wasn't the new Terminator supposed to be PG-13?

I hope not. Then it's just a waste of time for everyone involved.

Helena Bonham Carter in Terminator? Well, I can't question it, that's for sure. Everything she does deserves only praise and adoration. Such is the life of a Helenaist.

...I'm not making that up, I swear!

http://religion.wikia.com/wiki/Helenaism

I can think of a half dozen comics properties that need adaptation - probably has more to do with the fact that they're all owned by either DC or Marvel.

And YAY! for Helenaism. Does it come with a desktop-sized version of the awesome pic at the top of this page? 'Cause that would be cool.

There's no telling what kind of part Bonham Carter might play, though odds are 3:2 she'll wind up having weird and graphic sex with one of the Terminator models.

She's supposed to be up for the role of
"lead villain"

mmmm....Helena Bonham Carter cleavi...

Thank you Daniel.

Billy Smoke is about a hitman who is nearly killed and decides to search for redemption (or whatever) by ridding the world of every other assassin. I guess it's never too early to be let down.

I'm sorry...but I could have sworn I've seen this before...like in every single damn hitman/assassin movie/book/comic/game that ever comes out. One of the reasons I was so excited about Wanted was the now original again premise of an assassin killing...period.

I want that picture poster-size on my wall. Preferably facing my bed. My girlfriend's just gonna have to learn to love her as much as I do. Mmmm...HBC cleave...

This should be the motto of all future round-ups.

Maybe the official Pajiba credo? Right on the masthead: "It's never too early to be disappointed."

Re Quantum of Solace, I think Daniel Craig picked up the part too easily, so they're raising the degree of difficulty by having a stupid title.

Note they worked in a gratuitous ab shot during the trailer.

She's supposed to be up for the role of
"lead villain"

If they pull a Borg Queen with Skynet, HBC be damned, I am going to bust out the MurderZepplin and take this coast-to-coast.

Miles Dyson lives!

twig If they pull a Borg Queen with Skynet

You want them to pull a the architect with Skynet?

/Kidding

pulling a Davros with Skynet might work though,I think...

Note they worked in a gratuitous ab shot during the trailer.

And, all together, three shirtless shots. Not that I was paying attention.

Socalled, never diss a gratuitous ab shot. It is never too early for a nice set of abs.

Bond movies with Pierce Brosnan make me happy, so I am great with a Bond trailer.

Terminator? Meh.

Bond movies with Pierce Brosnan make me happy, so I am great with a Bond trailer.

DAMMIT! That should say "Bond movies without Pierce Brosnan make me happy."

Must get coffee now.

I love all things Terminator, even the "meh" that was Terminator 3.

Months ago, after my brother and I watched a double feature of Aliens, followed by Terminator 2 (in my opinion, the two best action movies ever made... followed by Shawshank Redemption, :P), I had a dream about an "Alien versus Predator versus Terminator" smack down event. I seriously can not think of anything more awesome. It was a total wet dream.

if freaky sex happens in terminator iwant it to be between Helena and Bale.

given Bale's 'Blinding' handsomeness and Helena's just...wordless beauty, picture their kids...

They'd be alabaster skinned, cheekboned to hell, crazy as doodlebug, intense as hell little angels or indeed, demons

I just want to be Helena.
Or Bale. Or Bale's like...hairbrush or something, i dont care...i'm totally blown on both of them now, you've totally screwed up my day, i had plans but now i just want to go and watch batman then like..fight club or sweeney todd, either or, and just go *sigh* all day.

Damn you pajiba.

Oh yeah also...motheruckin McG.

If he fucks with filters and lighting and colour on Terminator they way he does in...everything else he's ever directed, ever, i'm going to sue the man for corneal burns, i've tried to watch CA2 for....you know i dont know why...Justin Theroux's hot ass, i guess, and i swear to god im not bullshitting, i couldnt see colour right for three straight days, the man fucked me UP

....motherfuckin McG

if freaky sex happens in terminator iwant it to be between Helena and Bale.

Whoa, whoa, whoa...let's get our priorities right, now. If freaky sex happens in terminator, it has to be between Summer Glau and HBC. I guess we can throw in Christian in the later half, if he's not to be busy watching too.

Considering I still don't know if I liked Casino Royale...I am still very meh about Quantum of Solace (still sounds like a feminie hygiene product)

I may become a Helenaist...that sounds right up my alley...

pulling a Davros with Skynet might work though,I think...

And he seems to have worked out his fatal design flaw this time. Machines just take you way too literally.

I'm glad HBC has only a "small but pivotal role" Terminatethis because that's about all I can take.

The gratuitous abs (thankyoujesus)are just a little something for the ladies. And I thought the craptastic title was an Ian Fleming story or something.

Oh and you can bet mr.wsapnin will be all over "War of the Gods" because he does have low standards (except for women, of course) and he loves the shit out of 300.

You're right Adere. Meant M not Q. Bond always gets along with the gadge guy. Not that they show him much any more. Thats what I get for posting so early in the day.

Is Bale "blindingly handsome"? Sometimes I think he's attractive, but lots of times he looks like a rat.

And All Creatures Great and Small sounds like it's going to be very confusing to James Herriott fans.

All Creatures Great and Small immediately conjured up memories of Jumanji...so thanks a fucking lot brain, it's almost lunchtime and I can't get the image of Captain Sweater Chest running around in his jungle jammies out of my head.

A propos de the Billy Smoke thing-- same thing happened with 30 Days of Night. I think the deal was made either before or as it hit the shelves (and oh my God it is a shit comic, no wonder the movie blew). I worked at a comic store in LA and we had film industry types coming in asking us for comics-to-movies books all the time. I should have got paid for all the recs I made. But as Brian Michael Bendis says in his comic about his comics being optioned for a film, most deals just buy the rights and let the project sit around.

I keep refreshing this site for a new article by one of you guys, and Helena's Bon-Bons keep popping up. That's a good thing, of course, so take your time, I'm not complaining.

Just makes it really difficult getting any work done here at the office.

But again, I'm not complaining.

KateNonymous,

To answer your question: yes, Christian Bale is blindingly handsome.

We accept your apology.

XOXO

All Creatures Great and Small immediately conjured up memories of Jumanji...so thanks a fucking lot brain, it's almost lunchtime and I can't get the image of Captain Sweater Chest running around in his jungle jammies out of my head.

HA! I think that below the neck, Robin Williams is is just a giant hair onesie.

KateNonymous, I first thought they were making a James Herriott movie when I read that title. Very disappointing.

TMax, "Helena's Bon-bons" has me giggling like a schoolgirl here!

Thanks, MO, that was the best I could do for a Tuesday.

Robin Williams is just a giant hair onesie.

Bwa! Tears are streaming down my face.

TMax, those are some impressive boobies. For the first time in my life I have the urge to motorboat.

What, Jurassic Yorkshire? How dare they try to trade on my weakness for cute barnyard animals.

Jog on!

Derek Haas and Michael Brandt -- screenwriters for 3:10 to Yuma and Wanted and a couple of actual (one-time) Pajiba readers

I just wanted to thank these guys having Morgan Freeman say that line. I don't care what they do now on, they are winners to me just for that.

For the first time in my life I have the urge to motorboat.

For some reason, I am having trouble believing you have any "first times" left. ;)

Vermillion, I never felt that anything was missing in my life until Morgan Freeman spoke those words. I was lost and then I was found. I was blind and now I see. And I would gladly take on a textile factory full of assassins if there was even half a chance of him calling me a "motherfucker" at any time.

Hee! Vermillion, the glow from my halo begs to differ, it's hard to be wanton when my damned angel robe keeps getting in the way :)

I think she will give the movie more hope but this further proves that this movie needs an R rating to be a successful movie...thepoint.com has a campaign that will force the change by the studio. Here is the link for you guys to check out. https://www.thepoint.com/campaigns/terminator-4-r-rated-only

Jay Thanks for that shout-out to my "boy-eee-z!"

Is it true there is place in a man's head that, when you shoot it, it blows up?

Btw, QoS looks pretty damn good!

"If they pull a Borg Queen with Skynet, HBC be damned, I am going to bust out the MurderZepplin and take this coast-to-coast.
Posted by: twig at July 1, 2008 10:15 AM"

That was the very first thing that occurred to me too! I can picture her bald but maybe with a few co-ax hair tendrils.

Holy hooters batman! I don't think I realized HBC had such huge knockers! Guess she'll be playing a fem-bot in the new Terminator.

Those are most assuredly milk-making mammaries. I dont think she has those anymore. But I think the Terminator producers should spend a couple of mil to CGI those biggins back on her. It would be money well spent.

Well since everyone's ignoring the first trailer, let me start. Oh fuck it, let's talk Daniel Craig's abs. You know what I like? That they gave him a bigger...uh...gun. That's one big gun...it's very shiny...and big. Big gun. Mm.

Right. Where was I? Oh yea...Bale. Wait a minute, Summer Glau is in the film?! Heeeellll yeah I'm watching it. Even though I skipped T3 because I have a low shit threshold.

Julie, it took me a while to figure out what motorboating is...excuse me while I get my downy white wings out of the way.

Shadows, my man, have I mentioned that I love the way you think? The Glau/Carter action should take place after a beautifully choreographed fight sequence, just to get the mood right.

Julie, sweet, virtuous Julie. Just how many firsts do you have left, and what are they? Inquiring minds want to keep score for the Debauchery Olympiad!

It takes skill to be this depraved. Julie wakes up every morning and does calisthenics with her tongue in front of 72" flatscreen playing porn and Deadwood at the same time. And then she does several jumping jacks while fondling herself, before setting off to her life-enriching job of reading about erotic asphyxiation and dead kittens. it's very strenuous, but it starts her day off right.

Me? I just watch her. That's enough for me.

[mind blows]

Uh, I'll be in my bunk.

[muttering to self] This place is getting dangerous...

Ah ha ha ha ha ha! [glares] I will kill you, Shadows.

Lordhelmet, I have never:

-motorboated a girlfriend
-molested a penguin
-flown at a ludicrous speed
-seen the sun set behind the Eiffel Tower
-spelunked
-fed a Gremlin after midnight (you're welcome)
-learned to tango
-worn assless chaps

Julie, I can fix #3 for you if you like. Please don't kill my XO, though. (You're a good sport, deep down, aren't you?)

Hee-it's a deal. And FINE, I'll let Shadows live, but he's going to pay. Dearly.

[snaps vinyl corset into place]
[tests crack of the whip]
[deems whip crack satisfying]
[puts on "Night on Bald Mountain"]
[waits for an unsuspecting and insolent Pajiban to walk by]

[strolls casually through the Pajibaverse]
[whistles a little Dandy Warhols]
[walks over to a bush]
[looks around]
[sees no one in site]
[pulls down pants to relieve himself]
...

What'd I do? OH...oh...I'm so sorry, Julie/B>...I didn't realize it was a secret ritual. Man, I just keep messing that up, don't I? Lik when I forgot to mention that your shirt was seethru and you weren't wearing a bra and we went on that water ride...

{stops to consider a moment}

Naw...I don't regret that one.

Hee-it's a deal. And FINE, I'll let Shadows live, but he's going to pay. Dearly.

That sounds promising, dangerous, and exciting. Let me know when I should be looking for that.

I likey the new Bond. He's not purty, that's why I like him.

Oh, and the new movie looks OK. A little too reminiscent of Bourne (though they didn't invent the renegade spy thing, either), but that's cool by me.