Pajiba

Ooh, Boldly Going Nowhere sounds like fun, possibly a little Red Dwarf-ish or 'Clerks on the Death Star'-esque, I wonder which network...

Fox. Dammit. I can just wait three months for the 'entire series plus four never-aired episodes' on DVD.

"What the hell will it take to keep this tramp permanently off my TV?"

You're more than welcome to borrow my flamethrower. Do with it what you will. All I ask is that you return it in decent condition.

I would like to nominate "BFF" for the award of "Most fucking annoying and cutesy acronym that makes me want to rip anyone who uses it in seriousness' eyes out and then feed them to them" 2008. Because seriously, it makes me want to rip anyone who uses it in seriousness' eyes out and well, you know the rest.

I would like to nominate "BFF" for the award of "Most fucking annoying and cutesy acronym that makes me want to rip anyone who uses it in seriousness' eyes out and then feed them to them" 2008. Because seriously, it makes me want to rip anyone who uses it in seriousness' eyes out and well, you know the rest.

Seconded.

Anthony Minghella has died. Age 54. Sounds like a heart attack or something b/c he's got 3 projects going on. Darn..

Granted Cold Mountain and English Patient were loooong but I liked Talented Mr. Ripley. I liked his style.

I know it was St. Pat's and all yesterday and I may not be at my best this morning, but did I miss a day because the date on this round up says March 19th?

ATO: I'll help you with the eye gouging just as soon as I figure out what day it is.

Well, shit. And I was just about to ask Alex to be my BFF.

Damn you, Alex the Odd. Damn you to Hell.

If the flamethrower doesn't work (not that it wouldn't - all that polyester must be highly flammable), I have a trebuchet in my backyard, perfect for flinging celebutards into the pacific.

Re: Ned is a veggie.

Just thinking out loud: Won't the meat die a second and final time during digestion?

Minghella's death: Amanda,don't forget Truly, Madly, Deeply, incidentally also revolving around loved ones coming back from the dead.

Ugh. I recently saw, on my teenage cousin's facebook page, "BFFs Forever". Gad, if you have to use a stupid nauseating acronym, at LEAST have the courtesy to do it properly.

That Napalm Vagina show sounds utterly appalling.

I thought we banned stupid acronyms. It's bad enough I live in DC where people talk in strings of them (JFCOM MNFI SME PEPFAR MOBIS EPIQ IQC etc.) without having to dumb myself down about BFF and LMAO.. Blech! My brain can only hold so much!

I am putting Truly, Madly, Deeply in my Netflix as I don't remember it. Thank you Adere.

Will someone do the universe a favor and off MTV?
That "network" has needed to be put out of it's misery for a while now.

90210, how I loved thee. The awesome evil of Shannen Dougherty, the evolution of Tori Spelling's plastic surgery escapades, the fact that Priestley's hair never changed in 10 years. That was my high school/college show along with the Creek.

I only hope good things come of this.

Really enjoyed Cupid, before they foolishly killed it off.

The promising news is that the DVD for the original series is now showing up on Amazon, though there's no release date yet. All I can do is put my name in the box where it says "Sign up to be notified when this item becomes available"....and check my email every 10 minutes.

Also, I might have to turn in my ironic 30-something card, but I always despised 90210. So Rob Thomas, have at it, sir. You could hardly do worse.

TK: Did I miss something about 90210 being ironic? I mean, granted, I was about 11 when it started, so maybe I didn't get it....

I just thought it was a piece of shit show about spoiled teens in California.

Help me. I'm confused.

I may be the only person of our generation that hated 90210. Absolutely hated it. It just couldn't hold a candle to the cheesiness of my beloved saved by the bell.

Well, Cheesus, Alex! That's not gouda! Hehe, I'm on a roll...

I pretty much figured MTV needed to finally be put down like the diseased, mangy cur it is when Carson Daly got popular. It's one of the symptoms of the apocalypse, doncha know?

I've decided to stop watching TV. Altogether. It's either over the top, insipidly stupid, or too good and in danger of being cancelled within the first two episodes. So I'll just watch my movies on my computer at home, thank you very much....my netflix queue is overflowing anyway.

I'll still watch Lost, though...that doesn't count.

I never watched 90210. My friends couldn't understand why I just wasn't interested. I also never watched Saved By The Bell. Or Melrose Place. Man, they must have thought I was such a freak back then.

Sorry, Boo, I was unclear. I didn't mean the show was ironic (Lord, no). I meant that many of our age group tended to like it in an ironic fashion, much like The O.C., etc.

Whew! Thank godtopus that I'm not alone!!!

I heart Pajina. Typo and all.

Oh Saved by the Bell. My ten-year-old self really did believe that one day I would be Mrs. Zack Morrison, if only I could get rid of that pesky Kelly girl.

I'm SO a Pajina. :)

Pajina: (noun) a human female with an unexplainable love for Pajiba, a movie review website for bitchy people and zombies.

Fucking tags. Sorry folks.

I watched 90210 steadily until Melrose Place. I then switched to Melrose. It was trashier and so much more over the top. Plus 90210 got really bad towards the end of it.

There is nothing wrong with Saved By The Bell. It remains the best work of Elizabeth Berkley's career. That is, unless you count Showgirls as a comedy.

I never got the popularity of Kelly. I only had eyes for my darling Lisa. You notice she kept rolling her eyes at screech...she was saving herself for me.

So are we talking about modern day spin-off as in a whole new cadre of idiot rich kids with "issues" in high school or are we talking a spin-off as in the characters from 90210 in their adult lives?

Either way, I won't be watching but I would like to ensure that Brian Austin Green doesn't end up leaving the awesome character he has in the Sarah Connor Chronicles to go back to the David Silver insipidness.

I would like to ensure that Brian Austin Green doesn't end up leaving the awesome character he has in the Sarah Connor Chronicles to go back to the David Silver insipidness.

I hated David Silver. That being said, I just want to know if Sarah Conner is getting a pick up for next season. I love that show and since it is on Fox, I am not very trusting of them.

Anyone know if it returns in the fall?

Yeah, time was that was just old yearbookspeak, and we could laugh about acronyms as the silly way girls *used* to talk in school. So when's KIT going to have its resurgence in this modern age when people don't mature anymore, they stay jackasses their whole life, as Kevin Bacon's grandpa would tell you?

Oh and have an AWESOME summer!!

Sorry, Paddy, today is indeed the 18th. Didn't mean to fuck witcha like that. (Or maybe I did. Maybe the plan was to make you think you got so drunk you done slept right through Tuesday. The world may never know....)

Yes, Paddy! It's the first time I've ever been able to respect Green as an actor and a person. He can't leave now...he has so much to make up for!

I did watch Melrose Place for awhile...but only for one reason: Princess Vespa. It seems she's much better at over-dramatic comedy than she is at over-dramatic,,,drama....

You should give Berkley some credit, Melody. She tried to herald a new genre...softcore comedy porn. Just because it flopped doesn't mean she wasn't an entrepreneur...breaking ground on unexplored territory! We should admire her.

Shadows, I am not denying the awesome badness of that movie. It has several redeeming qualities, although none are about it's aspects as a serious movie.

It did effectively kill Berkley's career. Has she done anything since then?

Whew, Seth:

I was up at 6 am to catch up on work sorely neglected from yesterday and then I logged on to Pajiba and practically had a heart attack. If it were the 19th, I should be on the east coast on a client visit instead of sitting in my office in my jammies. Obviously, I verified the date but I had a few minutes of frozen panic there before logic took over.

DANCIN AIN'T FUCKIN!

I never watched "Saved by the Bell" but most of my high school class, who I generally loathed, did, with great devotion (my friends were mostly a year or two younger). I usually just watched Mister Rogers after school. So calming. There were weekly gatherings for 90210 in college though. I'd casually started watching during the summer of 91 and it stuck with me. There was an Entertainment Tonight, I think, story recently about Gabrielle Carteris having had some kind of crisis, and they called her character "Ann-drea", and I *was* offended.

She had a career?

Okay, that is questionable. Still, has she done anything since Showgirls?

I refuse to stand by while you cretins insult Elizbeth Berkeley. She is a visionary and a genius at her craft.

It just happens that her craft consists of showing her ass and acting as well as a bag of nails. But a girl's gotta dream, dammit.

How can you all be so cold?

heh...well, according to imdb....she's done a lot of TV and a lot of bit parts. I'm guessing that role was gonna be the one that would've put her in the spotlight.

She's also really good at acting crackout out on sugar pills, don't forget, TK.

And underwater sex.

PaddyDogSo are we talking about modern day spin-off as in a whole new cadre of idiot rich kids with "issues" in high school or are we talking a spin-off as in the characters from 90210 in their adult lives?

Why not: Two birds, one stone, see Degrassi.

I'm slightly worried about you today TK... you did stop drinking at some point this weekend, right? I mean St Paddy's is over now so you should probably think about maybe beginning to slow down.

No? OK then.

Elizabeth Berkley is currently vacationing from the face of the earth. She got in a car with Eve Plumb and drove somewhere where their talents will be appreciated. But they broke down in Deerborn, Michigan. Come to think of it...I think they both work at a 'Waffle House' now.

Just warmed up the tank. Heading to New York. Empty-V go bye now...

Then, just because - I'm gonna squish Screech...

She is very good at playing a hobag, I mean "dancer".

General consensus, is Showgirls a good movie?

I think they both work at a 'Waffle House' now.

Jessie Spano would never work at a Waffle House.

Yeah...you're right Melody. She's more of a Bob Evans kinda girl.

Whatever, Alex-who-is-not-my-BFF.

Oh godtupus no! Oh HELL no! By no stretch of the imagination! The only, only, piece of the movie that you can use to cling to sanity is Gina Gershon...and that's a very precarious piece right there. If Berkley walked up to me, offered to suck me off every night while playing computer games if I said that Showgirls might be somewhat okay....I'd be playing with dry balls.

Pajina: (noun) a human female with an unexplainable love for Pajiba, a movie review website for bitchy people and zombies.

Present and reporting for duty.

I too hated 90210. Also, I love anything that comes from the genius of Day, McElhenney, and Howerton.

I'm tempted to post three more times under ridiculously obvious aliases to keep reiterating how bad that movie was.

Although....she does seem like the kind of soulless, uncaring waitress {wench) you'd find in a greasy dive...

PissBoy: I was thinking more along the lines of Huddle House.

Gina Gershon is sex-personified. She just looks like she'd wanna get REAL nasty. Something involving a bridle, 4 pounds of margerine, 4 shaved rabbits, and an Adidas running shoe. Mmmmmm...I'm getting hot thikning about it.

Boo, I had forgotten about Huddle House. It is restaurant for those days when the Waffle isn't greasy enough.

Ah, college...

Shadows, it is so true. Gershon cannot even save that movie. It is not the worst movie ever (see Eyes Wide Shut), but it is not a good movie.

If Berkley walked up to me, offered to suck me off every night while playing computer games if I said that Showgirls might be somewhat okay....I'd be playing with dry balls.

Ha!!

My favorite aspect of Showgirls is when they air it on VH1 and they add CGI bras. Comedy. Gold.

And yes, Gina Gershon is insanely hot. I would totally make out with her and then push her down the stairs.

I think all one really needs to know about Showgirls is that it is the second finest of Adam and Joe (of the Adam and Joe show!)'s cuddly toy remakes. The best of course being Fight Club starring Tufty the Road Safety Squirrel. God, I love the Adam and Joe show.

PissBoy: you disturb and entice me all at the same time. An impressive feat, sir. I tip my hat to you.

TK: Whatevs.

Julie, I thought that she tripped on marbles or something.

And then got pushed down the stairs.

The best of course being Fight Club starring Tufty the Road Safety Squirrel.

That made me laugh out loud without ever having SEEN it...oh my god. If I don't watch that I will die an unfullfilled woman.

General consensus, is Showgirls a good movie?

I always remember a bit of a Q&A I once saw with John Waters.

Someone in the group asked him, "Best movie of the year: Titanic or Showgirls?" (That's how long ago this was.)

Waters replied, "I liked Titanic but I would have to say Showgirls, because it's that rare thing--a movie that isn't in on the joke."

Kinda sums it up for me.

Julie you must watch it, like: now. Go on. Off to YouTube with you woman! (I hope to God it's on there now).

Little Adam from the Adam and Joe show was the first of my legion of TV boyfriends. Bless his little cotton socks.

Melody, is that what happened? I was probably laughing too hard to notice the marbles. :)

I would totally make out with her and then push her down the stairs.

I wouldn't mind watching that.

This Adam and Joe movie remakes thing intrigues me. I too, will have to go find vids of such potential comedy gold.

Oh, and PissBoy does that to everybody. Although...I'm not sure where the shoe comes in....

Julie search for Tufty Club.

"Oh, and PissBoy does that to everybody. Although...I'm not sure where the shoe comes in...."

Really? Cause the shoe was the deciding factor for me.

Adam & Joe, are those the guys that did that stuffed animal Trainspotting? That was ace.

Would you feel better if it was a New Balance Shadows?

I'm...just...wow. This thread is too much for me today. I have a big stupid meeting in two hours and I have to prepare, so shit is flying all sorts of over my head.

I need to lie down.

Thanks PissBoy! I'll have to wait till the end of the day when everyone leaves, my headphones are too short to use. I could move my hard drive...but that's way too much effort when I'm suffering the effects of Drinking Red Wine and then Having Five Microbrews With an Alcohol Content of 7.8% on an Empty Stomach is Bad Very Bad itis.

I'm more of a Converse guy myself...

Now that everybody's leaving for lunch, I may see what I can find on the ol' youtube.

How does one go about shaving a rabbit? Do you have to roofie their water bottle, or is the squirming half the fun?

Um, apropros of nothing but:

beer cupcakes, from a boingboing link. You all seem like people who might like such a thing.

Just do what I do....get em really, really drunk...

GUINNESS CUPCAKES?!?!?! Do not let socalled see this

BEER CUPCAKES?! Made with Guinness??!! It needs to be someone's birthday right NOW so I can make them.

I don't what part of the world you guys lived in but 90210 was on opposite Cheers. Guess which show won TV rights in my dorm lounge? Suck it Aaron Spelling. Plus you made Heather Locklear a bitchy Amanda and now there are ten million American brats named Amanda...

I am all over those Guinness-cakes. I've got a can in the fridge and it's (well half) is going into cake. Now imagine is you had both Guinness and *'butter'* in a cupcake? Mmm...drool

JULIE JULIE JULIE! It was my birthday on Friday. Make them for meeeeeeee!

I be happy to. And dude!!! HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY TK!!!

I made six loaves of Guinness bread last night. One bottle for the bread, one bottle for me. . .

I wrote "it's is". No wonder my students never learned English...I blame the bandaid on my right index finger.

Band-aids....taking a shit on the American education system for 85 years. They must not have band aids in Germany. I think this is how it all started in 1914 so we'd better be careful.

Anyone know if the Guinness is supposed to be room-temp or chilled? Baking is so sly that way.

Amanda, I have bandaids with pictures of Jesus on them. They make my 666 birthmark itch, but my Jesus bandaids would never fuck up my typing.

I don't think Jesus would appreciate being in such close proximity to me, even in band aid form. But they sound great.

I have tattoo themed band aids (or "plasters" as we so charmingly call them) because any time anyone sees a novelty item that is even vaguely tattoo related they must buy it for me. It's the law. I also have pirate ones with skull and crossbones on them. They are literally the best thing ever and almost make papercuts bearable.

Pirate bandaids?! Jealous. I would happily suffer the wrath of a file folder to wear one of those.

People love to get me religious stuff...they help distract from my tail. I have a statue thingie over my oven called the Kitchen Madonna that my mom bought me at the Jersey shore as a joke. It depicts Mary and the baby Jesus doing...something. In the kitchen. By a fireplace. And there's what looks like an omelete pan.

The idea of Mary making Jesus a nice feta and spinach omelete is comforting.

Happy Birthday TK!!

I am so making Guinness cakes this weekend.

Mmmm...Guinness....

I just had Chocolate Guinness Cake at a St. Paddy's Party last night, and it was so f-ing fabulous! Who knew you could cook with the stuff?! coveredinbees, I'm highly intrigued by Guinness bread....yum....

Happy belated, TK! Many happy returns and all!

Yes my pirate bandaids are ace, I also have a stack of eye patches in my office. They're there for completely valid reasons but I like to tell people that it's a theme.

RE being given random religious stuff: I have a friend whose Mother collects random religious iconography, the tackier the better. People thought it was weird that the only souvienir I brought back from my time in Bolivia was for a relative of one of my friends - that was until I told them that I had infact purchased a statue of the Virgin Mary* for her then they just thought I was weird rather than the situation.

*And by "statue" I of course mean "Barbie doll in a gold edged, glitter laced, net tutu and matching veil"

Hee hee...doesn't everyone have eye patches in their office Alex? :p

I used to have a "Dress Up Jesus" magnet. You could put tutus, bunny slippers, Ronald McDonald wigs on him...it was awesome. I had to hide them whenever my mom mom visited.

Though I refuse to remove my erotic/Shakespearean magnetic poetry. I just don't let mom mom near the fridge. My favorites include "Thine goblet feels like a wet animal" and "Much Ado About Blowing."

The Guinness should be room temp. It works as sort of a leavening (sp?) agent. Last year, after St Patty's, we had so much leftover Guinness we made an Iron Chef-like Guinness themed dinner. Guinness bread, stew, ice cream, chocolate cake, and even salad dressing. It was DELISH.

Awesome, Alex...pirate themes all the way!

And now I'm off to find me some erotic shakespearean magnetic poetry. I can already imagine the looks on my roommates faces when they read some of them.

And talk about jealous...I only have some cheesy stars and stripes band-aids.

Hee, Shadows, you have to buy the Shakespearean set AND the erotic set. Combine them and voila! Your refridgerator is a giant smutty novel.

I have a haiku on there as well:

Delicious lordship
Wherefore art thou nasty shaft
Damn is it heavy

Shakespeare-themed porn, by the by, is the best kind of porn. In an attempt to appeal to the English Major in me, my ex-boyfriend definitely rented "A Midsummer's Night's Cream." Hilarious.

I don't believe in bandaids. I just use super glue.

Julie, a friend has the more profanity-laced magnets, which led to this haiku gem:

Your ass so lovely
Like a dream where I want you
Fuck your tits all day

I don't believe in bandaids. I just use super glue.

Hee. Oh PissBoy!

TK, that haiku is absolutely glorious. I want someone to read that at my wedding.

I didn't say that. Look again.

Hee, I know, I was just remembering you own lovely super glue as opposed to stitches story. :)

I told you that? About the all-nighter carving the pumpkin?

Yup...and the blood, and the super glue, and the duct tape. Heh. I think the topic was box-cutters, I had sliced my hand open with one earlier that week.

Which JUST stopped hurting, by the way. I should not be allowed near sharp objects.

Sarina and PissBoy:

you do the super glue too?? That's awesome. I have super glue currently holding my right thumbnail together after locking it in the cardoor.

I know, I was full of glee too.

Great, now I need to go find Shakespeare porn. Thanks a lot, coveredinbees

I suppose I'm going to have to expand my 'bad movies based on Shakespeare' collection. Just when I thought A Midsummer Night's Rave was the worst it could get...

That Girl, I sincerely hope the Kirsten Dunst classic(really Ben Foster classic), Get Over It is in your collection. How loosely based can a movie be to qualify?

I never watched 90210 or Melrose Place, so a remake/update doesn't interest me...Well, unless a Pajiba review recommended it. Then I might give it a try.

I wouldn't mind it too much if Paris Hilton confined herself to MTV. Since I never watch the (former) music channel, I'd never have to see her again.

Seriously, you don't watch Top Chef around here, do you? For shame because A) it rocks (Anthony Bourdain is awesome as a guest judge- judging eggs benedict on if it would taste good after a hangover!) and B) there have been eighty-seventy thousand promos for some stupid dance contest show, hosted by none other than Ms. Elizabeth Berkley.

Pay attention people! If you'd watch Top Chef, you'd know these things.

Husband™ sometimes watches Top Chef when no other time-killing options are available.

If I see that Bourdain is judging, I will sit down to watch with him; but I generally avoid reality TV on the grounds that it is staged and sucky.