Pajiba

If "ballyhooed" means boring--then I agree.

Red Sox = Evil

That is all.

Just stumbled upon the Webster's is my Bitch site earlier today. I like it. You may even convince me to have it be my preferred stupid-celebrity blog. Just don't let the brain sludge morons who dominate the other ones take over.

Sorry Melody, but everyone knows that it's actually:

Yankees=Evil

I find it quite interesting the hate renaissance of late. Just today, I have read people that hate on, in no particular order: Carell; Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Marisa Tomei, and Ethan Hawke (together at once and separately); Tyler Perry (naturally); other commenters; Red Sox and Yankees; and more.

It is a bit confusing. While part of me wants to run around screaming "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU AND YOUR TASTE?!?!!?!" like a regular nutcase, the rest of me is quite pleased that nobody has a monopoly on Pajiba.

So let's have another ACD where we can go on and list the top five things we hate about Pajiba and get them off our chests. It won't be a guarantee that anything will change, just a giant release of bile built up over the years. People will be outraged, families will be torn asunder, folks once in unison will find themselves at each other's throats. It will be the First Pajiba Civil War, for no real reason except entertainment and a little relief.

Let the Haterade flow! And if anyone has any shit to say about Firefly/Serenity or my future "Big Love" to any of the women I profiled on my site, I am going to do things that will make Eli Roth cry like a bitch.

I don't mind the music that ice cream trucks play, but I hate it when they play a continuous loop of "They all float down here. When you're down here with us, you'll float too!" It's just creepy.

FINALLY, confirmation that SJP is actually the unsexiest woman in the world. It's not the nose, it the...whole face and body. Blech.

Actually, Melody and pinkcheese, you both have it wrong. Fact:

Baseball Players and Watchers = Retards

Now Case, just because you don't like/understand something, doesn't mean you can go around tossing middle school insults at those who do.

*siiiiigh*

Man, the motherfucking Red Sox, well, I guess you got get lucky, once in a million years.

But pinkcheese, isn't that what the internet is for?

Damn, Barbado, I thought we was down.

And case - that's what passes for an insult where you come from? Frankly, I'm disappointed.

pinkcheese and TK, take it easy on Case. You have to remember, you are Red Sox fans. As such, you have built up a tolerance for such insults that only ones of significant magnitude can shake you. Or if it is from a Yankee fan.

I really don't follow baseball either, but I enjoy the shit talking you guys do. Congrats, and make it worth my while!

Damn, Barbado, I thought we was down.

And case - that's what passes for an insult where you come from? Frankly, I'm disappointed.

Posted by: TK at October 29, 2007 6:47 PM
***********************************************

*takes off Yankees Jacket*

*puts down Yankees mug*

*straightens out Yankees mousepad*

We still down buddy, just stating a fact, no insult intended whatsoever.

TK and Vermillion, you're right, and I didn't even consciously realize it, but that was a seriously pathetic insult. I've heard better from the kids at my daughter's school.

Speaking of sports and my daughter (not that we were, but anyway), what is up with all of the erectile disfunction ads?? I'm watching a baseball game at 5:30 in the afternoon with my daughter, and every third ad is some old guy either lamenting about how his health problems are keeping him from getting it up, or getting ookily seductive with some woman. For one thing, why are they all hetero and married? (Check it out sometime - every single guy is wearing a wedding ring) Are old gay guys not allowed to get it up? And, more perplexingly, where the hell are all the conservative groups who get their panties in a twist over every possibly offensive thing on TV? Do they not see anything wrong with having to watch people sitting in ridiculous matching bathtubs (WTF?!?!), stroking each other, while attempting to watch a nice, wholesome ballgame???

Phew, sorry, that was way long, and completly off topic, but if I am subjected to another one of those Cialis/Levitra/Viagra ads, I may have to take out a contract on everyone involved.

Considering the only sport I find compelling enough to watch is competitive cheerleading, I cannot add value to the ball busting. This makes me feel sad and inadequate.

But hey, true story!

Last summer when my son was only an infant, the asshat ice cream truck driver used to come down and park his truck right in front of our house, annoying ditty blaring, for sometimes ten or fifteen minutes. No kids were coming out to buy ice cream, so God only knows what he was up to- counting out his cash, getting high, doing something nefarious with the rocket pops.

Anyway, this pit stop occurred simultaneously with my son's afternoon nap which angered and frustrated my husband. After about two weeks of this crap and several fussy baby episodes, my husband had reached his tolerance limit. He went, got his gun, stuck it in the holster, attached his holster to his belt, and went out to the ice cream man. He very calmly, gun still in holster on his hip, explained our sleeping baby situation and why it didn't really jibe with La Cucaracha blaring from the truck parked outside our baby's window. Ice cream man apologized and drove off.

He never came down our street again.

Must be something about Virginians and ice cream trucks. Just about two months ago, an ice cream truck driver was shot in another part of town. And no, as we explained to a few friends, it had nothing to do with us.

you are the ones that are the ball lickers!!
baseball = awesome
also
Red Sox = awesome

He went, got his gun, stuck it in the holster, attached his holster to his belt, and went out to the ice cream man.

Actually, I have a similar story, although it's one of those "kids say the darndest things" stories:

When I was younger, the Ice Cream Man (ICM) came around my neighbourhood frequently in the summer and we always yelled "Icecreamman! Icecreamman!" and begged our parents for money. My dad, in typical parental annoyance (which I think he thought was either out of earshot or not fully comprended by a five-year-old kid) said one time "I'm going to shoot that Ice Cream Man one of these days". Anyway, the next time the ICM came around, I told him as I was buying my popsicle "my dad says that the next time you come around here he's going to shoot you." The ICM didn't come to our neighbourhood for a couple of summers after that...

Well, that does explain a few things, B.

*takes off Sox hat

*takes off Sox t-shirt

*takes off... um... keeps on lucky underwear

We cool.

So how the hell does Sandra Oh rate #3 on the list of unsexy women? Have they seen Sandra Oh?

Oh, wait, it's Maxim. Nevermind.

Thank you Barbado. I guess we have to let them enjoy it while it lasts right?

NAH...

Also, where did you get your Yankees mousepad? I need one of those.

He very calmly, gun still in holster on his hip, explained our sleeping baby situation and why it didn't really jibe with La Cucaracha blaring from the truck parked outside our baby's window

There are so many situations in life where this kind of response would be immensely satisfying. I don't think it would fly in Oregon though. Maybe in the God fearing parts, but not in the gun fearing parts.

You know, I don't usually go for older guys, but most stories about George Clooney really make him an exception to that rule.

My roommate's from Boston, I watched the game with her on Thursday night and during the last inning I was like "Man, they've only got a one run lead, that's pretty narrow. I hope they can hang onto it. I mean, it'd be really easy for Applebottom or whatever his name is to screw the pooch for y'all" and she looked at me and said "If we're going to stay friends, you need to shut up now."

I think she was kidding. Anyway, go Orioles! Eventually!

No, Go Cubs...oh, nevermind.

Rusty: I think the Apocalypse will come before the Orioles make it to the World Series, and that makes me somewhat sad. In general, I think all DC teams need a lot of prayer/magical spell/luck right now (I'm especially upset that the Redskins are royally fucking up the season right now. If they lose to Dallas, I'm going to send a very heated and polite letter to Joe Gibbs telling him to turn on some of that 80s/90s magic that he used to have or go back to racing). What's an ex-DC girl to do? I can't start caring about Californian teams because I'm supposed to hate everything Cali (Also, I am scared to death of Raiders' fans. Seriously.)

Hey now, DC's baseball team is the Nationals, who are getting a brand spanking new ball-park because they're too good for RFK, or something. And the Ravens usually maintain their dignity a little bit, but again, that's Baltimore. I feel you though, I grew up being taught to root for the 'Skins with all my little heart and soul and now I just don't know what to do anymore.

Everyone I know who follows baseball in Baltimore is waiting for Cal Ripken to buy the team off Peter Angelos. He seems like a nice guy, one who wouldn't steal a sport franchise in the middle of the night (I still know people pissed about the whole Colts debacle), but he can't run a team for shit. And Cal Ripken is all that is good and right about baseball.

For some reason the comments form doesn't seem to like me today...

I am so very, very glad that I have no affiliation to any sports team whatsoever. It makes my life a much more serene place to be. Although Pajiba appears to be attempting to teach me the difference between baseball teams, I'm not too sure I'm impressed with this.

Why don't we have an Afternoon Comments Diversion where we all suggest our top five topics for ACDs - with any luck we can make the universe fold in on itself.

I am so very, very glad that I have no affiliation to any sports team whatsoever. It makes my life a much more serene place to be. Although Pajiba appears to be attempting to teach me the difference between baseball teams, I'm not too sure I'm impressed with this.

In a related meta-note: Why don't we have an ACD where we all suggest our top five topics for ACDs? With any luck we can make the universe fold in on itself.

I am so very, very glad that I have no affiliation to any sports team whatsoever. It makes my life a much more serene place to be. Although Pajiba appears to be attempting to teach me the difference between baseball teams, I'm not too sure I'm impressed with this.

Why don't we have an Afternoon Comments Diversion where we all suggest our top five topics for ACDs? With any luck we can make the universe fold in on itself.

Ok, you guys are getting closer, but the proper equation is really: yankees = red sox = evil

Both teams and their fans? Eh, basically the same level of pay and insufferable obnoxiousness. Or at least, that's what it seems like, being an Indians fan. Sigh, there's always next year...

How did I manage to miss Webster's is my Bitch up until now?

How?

Language and bitchery - with development I can see this becoming a project that I could fall for.

Notice how I'm not mentioning sports? It's because you people, with your alliances and your loyalty, flat out scare the holy hell out of me.

Also: Can we have an Afternoon Comments Diversion where we list five ideas for the next Afternoon Comments Diversion? If we try hard enough it may just be possible to rip the fabric of space/time.

Alex The Odd - don't be scared! Being a rabid fan gives us something to hold onto when everything else in life shits the bed.

Let the Haterade flow!
The only thing I can think of to hate about Pajiba is when you sports-nerds go sporting on and on about your sporty shit. Couldn't Pajiba create a Sports column to ghettoize you sporties so you could needle and buttslap each other without boring the tits off the rest of us?

And if anyone has any shit to say about Firefly/Serenity...
OOOHHHHH, NOOOOO. Not on Pajiba. I will get in my car and go on a nationwide rampage. And I'll have company.

Janey - totally. I can totally picture these schlubby Maxim readers just chortling about these women. Take a visit to the article and look at the comments about these women. Unreal. Yeah, buddy - I'm sure when you're Madonna's age and you've had two damn kids you'll look as shitty as she does.

Hell yes Jerce, in fact: I call shotgun.

For some reason all my comments keep getting shoved into the damned spam filter and it's driving me crazy. Has Pajiba just decided it doesn't need to hear my opinions any more?

Damn it, ATO! You beat me to the punch. Somehow, declaring "Backseat!" doesn't have the same impact.

Well, then if the Browncoat Rampage Tour is going have this kind of turnout, I simply must join in as well.

And remember ladies, I am here to help you with anything. Anything.