Pajiba

The Shenis -- see, it's for peeing. Yeah, that's the ticket. Its eery resemblance to a giant gold dildo is purely coincidental, in addition to being totally unnecessary and probably counter-productive to the stated purpose.

It's a "specially-shaped funnel" alright. Who here needs a non-sexual excuse to carry around a giant plastic penis, raise your hands.

Okay, now wash them.

Unless the Moll biopic features his role in "The Sword and the Sorcerer," I ain't interested. His shit rocked in that.

Are there really women who want to pee standing up? I mean, the potential for mess with that thing seems ... ok, I can go no further.

Finally, a way for the other 51% of the population to write their name in the snow?

None of the women I know--none of the women I have ever met (at least when the topic has come up)--cares a tinker's damn about being able to urinate standing up.

It's like this: Men can pee in the woods, and women can pass a living human being out of their bodies. I have a theory that there is some kind of uterine envy behind men making such a big honkin' deal about their little "advantage" over women.

i'll take a pass on the big gold penis, but as the one who always has to pee at the "last chance for gas" place, i wouldn't be adverse to trying one of the other contraptions.
my mother always carried those paper toliet seat covers every where we went. in the 70's, i found that embarrassing; turns out she was just ahead of her time. go figure.

Forgot the seat covers and just, you know...squat and hover. You get a workout and avoid potential diseases at the same time.

Agreed, Diana. My hamstrings and quads are all the better for the squat and hover maneuver. Holla!

Does that accomplish anything along the lines of the Keigel?

The urethral meatus of a female can be aimed with a modicum of practice, usually best perfected in the shower, to allow women to pee while standing. Doing so in a stall at the airport may get you an interview with the local constabulary.
One of many web sites:
Stand to Pee http://nbtsc.org/~ganimede/stp.html

The gadgets are unnecessary.

That link didn't work, here's the Google cache of the site which doesn't work either in preview, the text and background are the same color, so you'll have to highlight it to read it.

That link didn't work, here's the Google cache of the site which doesn't work either in preview, the text and background are the same color, so you'll have to highlight it to read it.

I would LOVE to be able to pee standing up (without having to do odd maneuvers or practice of any kind). I sincerely envy men this ability. But not enough to try that freakish thing. Sometmes obstacles build character and teach humility.

A note of aside to the squat and hover ladies, there's really no delicate way to put this so I'll simply repeat a rhyme posted by my RA in the dorm bathroom a few years back:

"If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat"

Seriously, all those who say women are naturally cleaner than men have not faced public toilet seats that look like they've been marked as territory by exhuberant labradors. Those wimpy little tissue covers don't really help either which, ew. Also, raise your hand if you've seen the Mythbuster's episode on the relative cleanliness of (most, not all, I recognize exceptions) toilet seats to, oh, say, bathroom faucets.

I've never really wished for the ability to pee standing up either, but I guess some people are just never satisfied with what the lord gave them.

I can't believe I'm even commenting on this...

I think some of the small, disposable emergen-pee options might be okay (it'd be nice to be able to pee in the woods without worrying about dripping on my sneakers) but the shenis is just...unnecessary.

Heh-heh, heh-heh. You said "urethral meatus," fartknocker.

That video made me hurt in my everywhere.

That's it Litely. I'm officially considering breaking up with Pajiba Love. I'm sorry, but you've driven me to it. Bodily fluids (twice), the horror that is Paula Batshit Abdul and a video that makes my toes curl up in horror and empathetic pain.

Do you actually exist to torture me, woman?

A note of aside to the squat and hover ladies, there's really no delicate way to put this so I'll simply repeat a rhyme posted by my RA in the dorm bathroom a few years back:

"If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat"

Hee. I remember that from my dorm as well. I, for one, tried to adhere to the rule.